Institutionalized: Chapter 11-Fade Away
I wanna catch you when you fall
I wanna be the one you need
I wanna be the one you breathe
Today's the day we'll fade away oh
Today's the day we'll fade away oh
Today's the day we'll find our way grown
Today's the day we'll fade away
Making her way back to the med lab without any trouble running into anyone, Jean carried a tray of food, consisting of a sandwich, a bowl of chicken soup, and some water. She smiled at Logan as he glanced over at her from the bed, blinking tiredly, even though the fluids he was being given had greatly replenished his system and had energized him some. Jean reclaimed her seat beside the bed, carefully setting down the tray on the table next to it. "I brought you a sandwich and some soup."
A partial grin changed Logan's features and he raised an eyebrow, carefully picking up half the sandwich with a gauze-wrapped hand. Sniffing a few times, he brought the food to his mouth and mumbled, "Ham an' cheese," before taking a satisfied bite.
Jean watched him eat, somewhat interestedly. Realizing that she might be making him uncomfortable by staring, she stood with a smile, then handed Logan his water and started to leave.
"Where're ya goin'?" Logan asked around a mouthful of food, taking a sip of water before setting it back down on the side table.
"I'm just going to let you eat while I check up on how the Professor is doing at the Psychiatric Institution." she told him, noticing how Logan's face fell at the mention of the hospital. "Oh, and don't eat everything all at once. You haven't eaten that much in a while and it might make you sick." Jean said seriously, pointing to the tray.
Logan nodded, stopping in his dining as he watched her walk out of view. He wanted to go after her, to talk to her more, but he figured she had to do her own thing. Maybe eventually, if Logan thought it was the right moment, he would tell her how he really felt, something he didn't have the courage to do before he went away. Maybe.
*****
A large mahogany desk sat in the plain looking office, right in front of a big window that over-looked the back of the mansion's property. Jean stood, leaning against the back wall and looking out of the window. If anyone were to walk in at that moment, they might think she was staring off into space, but she was actually communicating telepathically with Professor Xavier.
~Charles, how are you doing with Mr. Cross?~ she asked her mentor tentatively.
~Everything's fine Jean. I've managed to make him believe that Logan has died during the explosion, and that's what he'll be explaining to this Mr. Wraith, if he ever decides to check up on him.~ Xavier told her calmly.
Jean nodded to herself in the empty office, glancing up at the sky through the window as it seemed to darken. ~Are you on your way back now?~
~Yes, we're returning now that everything's been taken care of. Scott piloted the jet for the trip, so he's with me at the moment in case you were wondering.~
"Hmph." Jean mumbled aloud, covering her mouth and hoping that Charles hadn't picked up on her lingering thoughts. In fact, she hadn't cared much that Scott was with him, she preferred it that way so she wouldn't have to be worried about running into him for awhile. ~I'll see you when you get back. Will you be starting sessions with Logan tomorrow to help him with his memories from before the mission?~
There was a pause in their mind-link, and Jean couldn't help but wonder what thoughts the Professor was keeping to himself at that moment.
~Actually, I was thinking that you should be the one to have sessions with him. After all, you and Rogue are the two that Logan remembers the most, you being the obvious choice since Rogue isn't a telepath.~
Jean stopped before replying, almost shocked at what Charles had suggested. Did he know how she was feeling about Logan? Was he prying into her thoughts or just incredibly perceptive? Maybe it was more noticeable than Jean had originally thought. ~Alright, I'll work with him. Tomorrow then.~ she finally answered before cutting off the telepathic link.
Stopping in a long, thoughtful pause that she took to stare at the wall, Jean stood there, pondering about vocalizing her feelings. She was pretty sure what she felt now, though she figured waiting until Logan had recovered mentally was a better idea.
*****
Being left by himself in the med lab for awhile, Logan belatedly realized that he'd finished off the whole sandwich and all of the chicken soup. Not really thinking that it would disagree with him, Logan was proved wrong as his stomach made a low gurgling sound, and he found it hard to swallow when his meal started to revisit him.
Flinging bare and bandaged feet over the side of the medical bed, Logan tossed his blankets back, just noticing that he was wearing boxer shorts instead of the raggedy scrubs from the institution. Not really caring about his wardrobe as his stomach lurched again, Logan carefully pulled the IV from his arm, then gently set his feet down on the floor and gritted his teeth as he slowly limped and shuffled toward the med lab's bathroom.
That was where Jean had found him, on his knees, hunched over the toilet and emptying the contents of his stomach into the bowl. Her delicate brows knit together in concern and sympathy as she slowly approached him and gently laid a hand on his unscarred bare back. "You scarfed down all that food, didn't you?" Jean asked gently with a quiet sigh and a grimace. She heard him groan quietly before he started panting a bit in an attempt to stop himself from further throwing up.
Opening the cabinet on the wall, Jean took out a wash cloth and began running it under the sink with some cool water. She watched Logan through the corner of her eye, smiling sympathetically as she wrung out the wet cloth, then gently placed in on the back of his neck. "Feel any better?" she asked softly, rubbing his back in soothing circles.
"Nnh.." Logan groaned, putting a hand to the cloth on his neck and pulling it off to wipe his mouth as he completely slumped down on the bathroom floor and leaned against the wall.
Jean crouched beside him and felt his forehead, then stood with her hands on her hips. "Feel like you're gonna throw up again?" she asked, looking for a change in his features.
Forcing back the lump in his throat, Logan shook his head, then carefully began to stand on unsteady legs, taking Jean's hand as she offered to help him up.
After being led back to the medical bed, Logan slowly sipped at his water so he didn't upset his stomach again.
Jean watched as he put his water back down and absently started to gently scratch at the bandage over his chest. She raised an eyebrow, realizing something. Usually wounds got itchy when they were healing. This could be good news. "Logan, would it be okay if I took off the bandages on your chest? I just want to see if the burns have healed at all."
With a half shrug, Logan just nodded noncommitedly.
Smiling tightly, Jean leaned over him and gently pulled the soft gauze from his chest, revealing slightly discolored burnt skin beneath. She frowned with a disheartened sigh, disguarding the old bandages.
"What?" Logan asked gruffly, though he didn't mean to. Glancing down at his own wounds, he raised both eyebrows, gaze drifting toward Jean's soft green eyes, thinking he understood what had changed her features. "Oh, I guess I look pretty..uh...disgusting huh?"
"Oh!" realizing she'd been staring awkwardly, Jean tried correcting herself. "No, it's not that. I'm used to it. I mean..not that I'm used to seeing you and you're gross...just that I'm a doctor and-uh..ergh!" slapping a hand against her forehead, Jean mentally cursed herself and bit her lower lip. Why the hell was she fumbling so much? It was just Logan. She had to remind herself of that. Even if he didn't remember everything, he was still the same old Logan. But...maybe that was the problem. Same Logan...the one she had always felt a sort of connection with...an attraction even.
Logan chuckled softly at her fumbling, snapping Jean out of her mental debate.
She turned back to him, dragging her hand away from covering her face to notice that he was smirking. Jean sighed with a laugh of her own, shaking her head. She finally sat down on the stool she'd used before, her face turning serious as she frowned slowly. "I was only staring because I thought your burns would have healed more, but it might take all night."
A look of understanding caught in Logan's hazel eyes, and he slowly leaned back against the pillows, feeling his stomach finally start to settle once again.
Gently patting his hand as she stood up, Jean smiled down at him. "You need to rest. By morning you should be much better. I'm not going to rebandage your chest, it might heal easier without being covered." realizing that his IV tube was no longer in place, she picked up the needle and carefully re-inserted it into his arm.
Not meaning to stare, Logan couldn't help but watch Jean as she left. She was so careful with him, so...kind. He didn't know if he'd ever felt that kindness from another human being before, someone who cared so much.
Closing his eyes slowly, Logan began to nod off, only to hope that Jean would be there when he woke.
And when you're down I'll help you fly
I wanna be the one you need
I wanna be the one you breathe
*****
