Disclaimer: I don't own it! Don't sue me and my fuzzy pencil!
Author's Note: Alright! The closure of one plot and a month of inactivity! I'll miss this! But don't worry! I have another 15 chaps. planned already :)
"Haldir! Haldir! Come on! Stop hiding! Haldir!" The calls echoed throughout the forest. "Look, it's not worth it! Just come out of hiding!"
"You'll never catch me alive!" One tree called. "Er...whoops...," It added as a blonde elf jumped down and began to run.
"Catch him!" A random elf called. This wasn't hard considering about 20 elves had been searching nearby.
A group tied Haldir up to the closest tree and surrounded him.
An exhausted looking elf pushed to the front of the crowd and faced Haldir. "You've got a lot of explaining to do, buddy," Legolas said.
Haldir shut his eyes. "La la la! I'm not listening!"
Legolas banged his head against a tree.
"La la la la la la!" Haldir continued.
Legolas kicked him in the shin.
"La l-ow! That hurt!" Haldir shouted as Legolas kicked him.
"Look, Haldir. You have confused me to no end with these microchips. You had one you, but Dad said you put one on him. I'm not in the mood for any monkey business and I want some answers.
Haldir stuck out his tongue. Legolas picked up a leaf of poison ivy and threatened to rub it on Haldir's tongue if it didn't immediately return to its mouth. Haldir's tongue retreated back into it's sanctuary, but he still refused to talk.
Legolas sighed. "Fine. I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice," He said pulling out a threadbare and well-loved teddy bear.
"Mr. Squiggles!" Haldir shouted upon seeing to raggedy bear.
" 'Mr. Squiggles' will meet 'Mr. Big Pot of Boiling Oil' if you don't talk, Haldir," Legolas said, slightly pleased with himself.
"Fine," Haldir glared, "I'll talk."
"You'd better," Legolas muttered. He gave the search party a quick command, and soon Mr. Squiggles was tied up to a tree. "If you talk, nothing will happen to Mr. Squiggles. If you don't talk...," Legolas drew his finger across the bear's neck. Haldir whimpered. "Well, it all stared when I read about microchips in Spy Magazine...," He began meekly.
"Wait! Before he continues check him for microchips!" Legolas interjected. There were none on him. With a nod from Legolas, Haldir continued.
"I made a practice chip...I found directions on the internet...King Thranduil was right there...I didn't like Frodo....little short thing. Made a better microchip....put it on him...began thinking I might get caught...put one on myself...," Haldir trailed off more and more, yet continued because he was surrounded by armed elves.
"But your eyes and hearing!" Legolas asked, confused.
Haldir sighed. "Eye charts are so easy to memorize. About 300 sold on ebay alone..."
Legolas sat down on a tree stump and tried to stop his head from exploding. Then he stood up again. "Why?"
"Why not?" Haldir said, with a faint smile on his face. "Immortality gets dull...minds are so easy to control. Now I know why to One Ring was so cool. Gee....Sauron was really smart to think of that..."
Now Legolas was annoyed. He had put his immortal life on the line a few too many times to hear praise for the One Ring. "Look, Haldir, I'm really sorry I have to do this...but I'm sending you to the psychologist's."
"I understand," Haldir said placidly. "Say sorry to Frodo and the King for me!" Haldir called as he was escorted off by a few elves, Mr. Squiggles clutched in his hands. The other search party elves departed into different directions.
Legolas sat on a tree stump and tried to digest all of the information he had just learned. A strange thought suddenly popped into his head.
Who had really been typing the anonymous hate emails? If Frodo had been controlled by a microchip, was it really Haldir writing it or did he just tap into Frodo's emotions?
Legolas's head began to hurt. He pushed the thoughts out of his head and wandered back to the palace. He was finally going to get a well-deserved rest.
A/N: Have a great July! Wish me luck in Finland!
