2nd Note: Angel; lol. I know Jean's bein' mean to Scooter, but she's pissed because he's been bein' kind of a jerk lately and not at all sensitive to her feelings. *shrugs* Sketty; Don't worry, we'll make sure Logan stays sane. *grins* Hehe.
Institutionalized: Chapter 13-When It Rains It Pours part 2
Me...I'm rusted and weathered
Barely holding together
I'm covered with skin that peels and it just won't heal
*****
Outside the air was cool, not incredibly cold, just cool. The rain still fell from the sky unmercifully, soaking anything in it's path. Everything was dark and clouded, almost like there was an eerie mist completely surrounding the Xavier mansion's grounds.
Logan stood there, in the front yard just before the driveway, staring. Just...staring. It was as if he didn't know the rain was soaking through his clothes, like he didn't notice, or he didn't care.
Rushing outside after passing the Professor in the foyer when he'd told her Logan had gone out there, Jean peered through the dark fog and heavy rain. She hadn't bothered to grab a jacket, all she cared about was finding Logan and discovering what had troubled him.
Jean thought she spotted Logan standing there on the front lawn, and when she walked across the water-logged grass and the mud to reach him, all she could do was stand there beside him and not say a word.
Logan continued to stare off into nothing, the cool rain water dripping furiously down his furrowed brows and streaking down his face. He knew Jean was there, yet he said nothing, and instead crouched down and laid one hand flat on the muddy earth, feeling it sink beneath his palm.
Jean watched him intently, catching the breath she wasn't aware she'd been holding from running after him. She wondered what he was thinking right then, but didn't want to pry.
As Logan remained crouched with one hand completely surrounded by muddy water and thick, soaked grass, more overwhelming images flashed before him. Memories that he knew would eventually make more sense once he'd put them all together, but frustrated him more than anything now.
Logan was in the jet with the others, a panicky feeling rising in his gut when they all realized that Jean wasn't with them in the plane. He was horrified to find that she was outside the jet, using her telekinesis to get the aircraft up again, to save them all. He turned to the funny-looking blue man beside him, and ordered sharply, "You, get her, now."
Nightcrawler hadn't seemed offended by Logan's harshness, but when he attempted to teleport, he was only saddened to find that he couldn't. "She won't let me."
Clenching his eyes shut and shaking his head, Logan looked up over his shoulder at Jean who was still watching him. "You...you saved everyone, you died." he said quietly through the loud rain, though he knew Jean had heard him.
Eyes widening, but saddened, Jean continued to stare at him, her mouth opening to say something. She saw the confusion so evident in Logan's eyes, and it made her sad that he was forced into remembering things this way. He had to re-live some horrible memories as if he was experiencing them for the first time.
Before Jean could get any words out, Logan flinched from another oncoming memory, one that pained him to remember as much as it was a relief.
Watching the sky sadly, with tears in his eyes he never knew he'd shed, Logan stared back at the water that engulfed the ground from the dam bursting moments ago. That sinking feeling in his gut grew stronger; he'd just witnessed Jean save them all, then be crushed by the force of oncoming water and disappear. She was gone forever...or so he thought.
Moments later, as he still stared out of the X-Jet's windows, Logan felt a tightness in his chest from happiness when he saw Jean float up using her telekinesis, though there was an odd firey glow surrounding her.
The others in the jet had noticed this too, and all mutants overjoyed that Jean was alive and well. They'd opened the hatch and rushed her to come inside.
Exhausted, Jean collapsed inside the aircraft as Scott cared for her broken leg as best he could, and wouldn't leave her side.
Logan stood there in the back of the jet where Scott had taken her. All he could do was stare at Jean, realizing it was a miracle she'd survived through all that had happened. He couldn't stop staring at her, but upon receiving a sharp glare from Scott, Logan had to turn away, slowly going back to his seat only to remember the one that he loved was so far out of his reach.
Trembling suddenly from the powerful memories, Logan sunk to his knees on the soggy ground with a soft grunt, wrapping both hands around his head. He was fighting off a lashing of emotions that had effected him at the time the memories took place.
"Logan!" Jean gasped as she watched him collapse into the mud. She crouched beside him, gently laying a hand on his back, his t-shirt completely soaked through.
"Nnh...no," he stuttered slowly, trying to reflect on the memory that passed before him. "You...didnnh...you didn't die." Logan managed to get out, slowly lifting his head and looking to his side at Jean.
"You're right, I didn't...I'm right here." Jean smiled a bit, gently rubbing his back. Logan's behavior concerned her, and she thought maybe her session with him had done more harm than good. It seemed he was only remembering the bad memories. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, though she nearly had to shout because of the loud rain.
Logan stared into the muddy water without answering her. He could feel the cold seeping into his skin, and it reminded him of the memory where Jean had almost died. He took in a shaky breath and closed his eyes for a long moment before Jean's hand on his back moved to his arm and she squeezed it gently, causing him to look over at her.
"Logan." she called to him, standing up and tugging on his arm. "Come on, let's go inside."
"Yeh." he mumbled hoarsly as he struggled to his feet before stumbling along with Jean back toward the mansion.
*****
"Jean," Charles adressed her, slowly bringing his wheelchair around the couch where she'd been sitting and watching a movie with Ororo.
"Hm? Oh, Charles." she glanced over at him with a tired smile, wiping some of her damp hair out of her face. She'd recently taken a shower from being out in the rain, and all Jean wanted to do was collapse in the soft couch and relax. When Ororo had offerered to watch a movie, she'd jumped at the chance for a quiet hang-out with her long time friend.
Xavier smiled at Ororo as she looked over at him before returning her gaze to the movie. He quieted his tone as he spoke with Jean. "How did you fare with Logan today?"
Smiling slowly, but somehow seeming far away, Jean's soft green eyes met Charles' wise blue ones. "Well, he's remembered some things...but it's all so overwhelming right now and he doesn't exactly know how to handle it." she told him honestly, knowing there was no lying to the man she'd known for so long, besides the fact that he was a supreme telepath.
"And where is Logan now?" the Professor asked kindly, his brows creased with genuine concern.
Jean glanced off to the side, a somewhat sad look on her face. Then she turned to Charles and smiled tightly. "He was pretty worn out from our session today, so he just took a shower and he's resting now, in his own room."
"Not the infirmary?" Xavier asked softly.
"No," Jean shook her head. "I thought it would be better if Logan was somewhere he felt more comfortable." she frowned a little sadly. "He really doesn't like the med lab Charles, it reminds him too much of the Psychiatric Institution."
The Professor nodded with solemn understanding and smiled. "Alright then. Well, I have some students to speak with for a class now, I'll see you later Jean."
She watched as the Professor rolled away in his chair, then pulled her knees up on the couch and refocused on the movie, laughing along with Ororo at a funny scene.
*****
