Comments - Okay, well how long has it been since I last updated this? I swear it was around last year. Haha well I was just browsing through my computer, and I remembered I still had this thing incomplete. I guess I just had to take a break from it, cuz I had so many negative reviews Well I know I have a lot of people who hate it, but I guess I just have to say… if you hate it, DON'T READ IT. And if you don't like the swearing then, DON'T READ IT! It's that simple people, it's that simple. Well I'm BACK and it now time to finish this sucker…
Endless Roads
Chapter 10 - Giving Into Temptation
Tommy walked Kim up to her apartment door. The ride home was a quiet one; Kim had not said a word, but it wasn't surprising. After all the chaos that she had been through that night, there was nothing much to say without her getting upset. Tommy watched as she took her key and placed it into the lock, slowly opened the door and stepped in. He followed along not sure if to leave her alone or not. Tommy shut the door behind him and remained silent as Kim continued to walk towards her room. She suddenly stopped; realizing Tommy was still there.
"You know, you can go back." She replied.
"Are you sure… 'Cause I can stay if you want." Tommy responded.
Kim remained silent, unsure as to what she wanted as she scratched her head, looking down at the ground. "Right now I really have no idea what I want." She muttered. "I feel like shit."
"Kim… don't say that."
"But honestly… I really wouldn't mind if you stayed. It'd really suck being alone right now."
"Well I'll stay then." Tommy said.
Kim gave out a little laugh.
"What?"
"It's nothing really…" Kim muttered. "It's just, out of the whole time I've been back…. What I just said right now is the only time I've actually been honest with myself."
"Well that's a good sign isn't it?" Tommy asked.
"Yeah, but I guess a good sign ain't gonna do me any good right now."
"And how are you so sure."
"Billy's upset with me, Tommy. And Aisha… let's just say I won't be hearing from her anytime soon."
"Kim, I told you… just give them time. They'll come around."
"But what if they don't?"
"They will."
"How do you know? How are you so sure that they'll forgive me Tommy, huh?"
"Okay, I'll admit… I'm not so sure. But I know them, and you know them too… they're not going to hate you forever."
"God I just HATE THIS!" Kim yelled. "I am just sick and tired of dealing with this crap! I want things to go back to normal, but whenever I try to, there's always something left to do that will just bring me down again."
"Kim, you'll get through this, okay? You've already taken the biggest step…"
"And what's that?"
"Telling them the truth." Tommy replied. "Now that you've got everything out, you can only start building your way up."
"It's never that simple Tommy. With my luck, there's always something else; every time I think things couldn't possibly get worse… they do."
"And your positive that something will?"
"Hey, it's happened before." She muttered, knowing that there was still something to say. Something she knew would be very hard for her to admit: that deep down inside, there were feelings for the man that stood in front of her.
"You sure aren't looking on the brighter side of things."
"Because there is no brighter side." And there wouldn't be. As long as Tommy still remained with Kat, there would never be a brighter side.
"And with that attitude, you're definitely not going to get anywhere, Kim"
"Thank you Dr. Oliver, I didn't realize I signed up for a session with a psychiatrist when I decided to go home."
"Kim I'm serious. If you don't stop looking at the bad side of things, you're not going to get anywhere."
"Well maybe that's just the way I want things to be." Kim muttered.
"Why are you acting like this?" Tommy asked.
Tommy's question got Kim to realize how bitter she was being. Her quick, stuck-up comebacks replayed in her mind, showing her how insecure she was being.
"I'm sorry." Kim replied.
"Kim… Is there something else you want to tell me?"
Kim stood silent. Was this her time? Was confessing her feelings at that moment the right thing to do? For all she knew, she had no idea.
"Kim…"
"Building a new start is not as easy as it looks." She muttered.
"Who said it ever was?" Tommy asked.
"I told myself that I could do it on my own…"
"But you can't?" Tommy added.
Kim stared back at him, agreeing with what he said. "Jason has always been there for me. Now I've got to prove to myself that I can do this on my own, but it's turning out to be pretty impossible."
"Well nobody's telling you that you have to."
"True. But Jason's living his life right now and he seems pretty happy. The last thing I want to do is interfere in it just because I need help."
"You've got me." Tommy replied. "I can help you out."
Kim smiled back at him. "Thanks Tommy, that's sweet of you, but I've already got the vibe off of Kat that she doesn't like me here, and I'm sure she wouldn't be too pleased to hear that you're helping me out."
"Yeah, well Kat doesn't understand a lot of things."
"What do you mean?" Kim asked.
"She's just a different person than all of you. And when I mean different I mean she likes different things, has different interests. And nowadays she has this real serious personality that I've never seen before."
"Maybe she's just maturing Tommy; seeing things in a different light."
Tommy nodded.
"Do you not like that?" Kim asked.
Tommy stayed silent for a moment to think before answering, because he wasn't quite sure. Lately Kat had been constantly protesting against all his plans he had made with friends. It was hard for him too, juggling between keeping his friends and his girlfriend happy.
"Well at times it can be frustrating, but it's something I can deal with. I just have to admit to myself that she isn't going to like everything." Tommy replied.
"Everybody has their flaws." Kim muttered, just realizing that she was talking to Tommy about his love for Kat. A topic she didn't want to touch, and not only that, it encouraged her even more that telling Tommy about her feelings was a bad idea.
"Exactly." Tommy responded. "Besides, I love her too much. As long as we're happy together, then it doesn't matter."
Hearing those words made her heart sink. It wasn't until that moment that she was absolutely positive that telling him wrong.
"I see." Kim nodded, turning away from Tommy, rolling her eyes. "You're lucky Tommy, you know that?"
"Lucky for what?"
"You're lucky to find love like that." Kim replied. "I've been cursed with this bad luck."
"Kim don't say that." Tommy shook his head. "You'll find that love someday. Just because that Craig guy didn't turn out to be your prince in shining armor, doesn't mean you'll never find the right guy for you…"
As Tommy went on talking, Kim thought to herself. "The right guy for me?." Kim knew who the right guy for her was. But she screwed that up when she decided to breakup with him. Her head was filled of "What ifs." What if she never broke up with Tommy? What if she never went to Florida? One thing was for sure, if she never went, her life wouldn't be so screwed up, like it was now.
"Kim?" Tommy asked.
"Yeah?" She responded.
"You okay?"
"Yeah." She nodded.
"You just looked like you were in another world right now."
Kim did not answer, she was still in deep thought.
"Kim!" Tommy exclaimed.
"Yeah?"
"What are you thinking about?"
"Oh… nothing." Kim muttered.
"Doesn't look like nothing."
"Believe me… you don't want to know."
"Give me a shot… maybe I do."
"No, you don't."
"Kim come on… you can trust me."
"Just forget it Tommy. It was nothing." Kim snapped.
"I thought we were going to be honest with each other from now on?"
Kim paused. Tommy was right; she wasn't being honest, and she knew she had to be.
"Kim, come one. Quit hiding things back. You've done that plenty of times ever since you arrived here and now that you have everything out, just tell me."
Although Tommy was right, this was something she definitely wasn't comfortable with. After hearing Tommy speak about how much in love he was with Kat, how on earth was she supposed to tell him? All it would cause was more confusion between them. Kim convinced herself right there that she wasn't going to say a word about it, but the matter was that she had Tommy standing there right in front of her, already curious as to what was in that complicated mind of hers. Obviously Kim wanted to do the right thing, but was telling Tommy her feelings for him the right thing, knowing that he was a taken man, who was obviously happily involved with Kat?
There was a long silence between them, making things very awkward. Tommy was eager to hear what Kim was thinking. He was so concerned about her. The way she'd been acting, the issues she faced, and her situation with her friends just made him fall apart knowing that she wasn't happy. And if Kim had another secret, he wanted to know. He wanted to help Kim in every way, so that she could get better.
"Kim… please." He whispered. "Just tell me. The way things have been for you…. It's killing me inside. Seeing you like this is something I never want to see again. Just tell me what on your mind…"
"Why? Why are you doing this Tommy?" Kim asked.
"Because I want to help you. Believe it or not, but no matter what you do, your always going to be a big part of my life."
Those words brought a great deal of emotion to Kim and actually encouraged her on her part. Knowing the way Tommy felt was like a sigh of relief, making Kim a bit more comfortable with what she finally decided to say.
Kim swallowed hard and let the words just flow out of her mouth.
"The truth is…" she paused. "I've never realized it before but…"
"But what, Kim?" Tommy muttered.
Kim's mouth dried up, her palms beginning to feel sweaty. But soon enough Kim noticed that there was no turning back at this point, what she was about to say had to come out. And it did.
" I don't think I was ever over you, Tommy."
Tommy stood still, shocked at what he just heard.
"I wasn't over you then, and now when I think about it, I don't think I'm over you now."
The two stood there looking at each other. Kim looking into his eyes and Tommy looking into hers. Memories and old feelings began to rise as the two continued on to stare. Shivers were sent down Kim's spine as nervousness soon hit her. She was too afraid to move; yet she had the urge to tell him more.
Tommy couldn't move either. Somehow they were trapped, unable to speak a word or move a muscle. Beads of sweat trickled down Tommy's forehead. Never in his life did he feel this shocked. He never would have expected Kim to say that. Her words were like an unexpected smack in the face, and he didn't know how to react.
"Kim… I don't know what to say." He managed to speak.
"Don't say anything." Kim whispered. "Now that you know everything… maybe it's best that you leave."
Tommy shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Tommy please." Kim begged, as tears began to form in her eyes. "Now that you know, I don't think I can have you standing there in front of me like this."
"I said I'd stay, so I'm staying."
Kim had nothing to say, so she just shut her eyes.
Tommy knew that there were still feelings for Kim inside of him, but never did he think that Kim did. Hearing what she had just said was not just a shock to him, but in ways, a sigh of relief. Who knew the secret that Tommy thought Kim was hiding, was about her feelings for him. He looked at her, seeing how afraid she was. It must have taken her a lot of strength to tell him that. Just looking at her vulnerable state made him want to walk over to her and comfort her. He knew that Kim must have been feeling empty at the moment, noting the fact that he wasn't giving her much of a reaction. But how could he, his mind was spinning at a thousand miles per hour. All he wanted to do was tell Kim everything he felt, but then the sudden picture of Kat popped into mind, and suddenly he resisted.
"Tommy, just please go!" Kim sobbed. "This is just way too much emotional stress for me in one night… I just want to go to bed."
"Kim…" He muttered.
"Please, just leave."
He had to say something; he couldn't just leave, now that he knew the truth. He wanted to tell her the truth as well. But every time he wanted to say it, Kat came into mind, time and time again. He had to fight it, they promised that they'd be honest with each other, so Kim had to be told. Suddenly, Tommy just then realized he just had to ignore that Kat even existed and just say it… and so he did.
"Kim… just let me say something." He replied.
"What?"
"I haven't been honest with you… and it's something that you really should know."
Kim froze once again, a bit sure as to what Tommy was about to say. Kim told him her feelings, was Tommy about to share his?
"You know I'm not going to deny it, Kim." Tommy continued to speak. "You and I... we've been through a lot, and we've loved each other way too much to just let our feelings for one another stop. But I'll admit I actually convinced myself that you did. Believe it or not, but your letter must have been the worst thing that could happen to me. I tried to get over you, and I thought I did, but the moment that you came back, those feeling hit me harder than I thought it ever would."
Kim shut her eyes, and let her tears run down her cheeks. What he had just said made her relieved that she wasn't the only fool who felt that way.
"And now that I know how you feel, I'm sure that both of us know that there's still something between us." Tommy replied, taking tiny steps towards her.
Kim couldn't say a word. She just stood there sobbing, unsure as to what to say in response. There were so many emotions lingering within her, that it blinded her to see what was happening before her eyes. Tommy reached for her chin, and lifted her face up so he could look into her eyes.
"Kim… I'm not over you either, and I think we never have." he whispered.
She stared into his eyes. The touch of Tommy's hand on her face brought back memories, and in that moment she forgot that the world even existed. Without a word Kim made her lips meet his, as the two embraced with a kiss. Tommy ran his fingers through her soft brown hair as they continued. Kim felt weak in the knee as his lips caressed hers. Tommy could feel her arms wrap around his neck as their kiss became more intense. Suddenly, Tommy's conscience came back to him, and the sudden picture of Kat returned. He quickly broke their embrace, and the two remained silent looking at each other with complete and utter shock, both out of breath.
"Did we just do that?" Kim panted.
"I think we did." Tommy replied.
"Oh God." She muttered, covering her mouth with her hand. "We shouldn't have done that. I mean, you're with Kat… you have someone."
"Kim…" Tommy mumbled.
"You better go, Tommy. Before I do something else really stupid."
"Kim, it wasn't just you okay. I didn't exactly resist to it."
"Yeah." She sighed. "But I think it'd be good if you'd just now… please." Kim begged.
"Okay." Tommy nodded, as he slowly turned to the door. He reached for the doorknob and slowly opened the door, but before he walked out he turned and looked back at Kim.
"I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow?" He asked.
Kim looked at him, and slowly gave him a nod.
"Okay." He muttered and walked out the door.
