Nick, Catherine, and Warrick, after telling Grissom they were leaving, went down to the lounge and met up with Matt and Jackson again. Grissom, on the other hand, remained in his room but had told them that he would be ending his viewing of the discs then he would go in search of Sara. After they left, he slipped in another disc; it was the one he saw before in the Imaging Room. The DSA played up to the point where Jarod had run down to pull her out of the hole. He leaned forward studying her reaction and the image of her welts, scratches and how Jarod cared for her so gently. He was so engrossed in watching them that he didn't hear the door to his bedroom open and the footsteps creeping up behind him.
Sara saw Catherine, Nick and Warrick leave the hotel from the lobby and decided that if Grissom wasn't with them, then he was either looking for her or he was doing the one thing she hoped he wasn't. She swiftly made her way up to their suite then unlocked the door and entered. Quietly, she made her way to Grissom's bedroom door and opened it silently. 'Damn him. He's watching them.' She stood there and watched as he leaned closer to the screen, 'probably studying everything,' she thought. She took note of the other discs that were out and looked as if they had been somewhat organized. 'How many? How many has he watched?' She shook her head then walked forward and switched the machine off with one flick of a finger. Grissom jumped as he saw the image disappear from the screen, not realizing that it was Sara who had turned it off or that she was behind him.
He heard in a low, tightly controlled voice. "Grissom, what are you doing with those?"
He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath then turned to look at her. What he saw put fear into him as he gazed into her dark eyes. "I went looking for you and found the Imaging Room. That's when I found these and."
She didn't move as she stared him down and interrupted. "How could you Grissom? I trusted you. You knew, didn't you, when you saw those discs that they were of me? You knew I didn't want them seen, so why?"
Grissom took another deep breath before trying to explain his actions when Sara broke back in with her voice even tenser than before. "No, you know what, there isn't a good enough explanation. I don't want to hear anything from you." She quickly left the room.
Grissom tried to get up to follow her but knew he wouldn't be able to catch up. He slowly sank back in the chair then ran his hand through his hair and over the back of his neck. 'She wasn't quite as bad as I thought she'd be.' He looked around at the discs and slowly gathered them up including the one in the player. After he placed them in the box, he took them back down to the Pit and the Imaging Room then placed them in the safe, locked it back up then left. His next project was to find Sara and try to get her to talk to him. 'Why do I feel as if all hell is about to break loose?' Knowing that the rest of his team was at the lounge, he made his way there.
Catherine saw Grissom approaching them and smiled as she caught his eye but there was no return smile. "Oh, no." Her muttering caused Nick and Warrick to look her way then in the direction of her stare. They also saw Grissom approaching and he looked like someone had just stepped on one of his bugs. Matt and Jackson also noticed the look of Grissom's appearance and wondered what had taken place for him to be so melancholy.
"Have any of you seen Sara?" Grissom spoke low and evenly as he tried not to let them see he had hit a low point. He looked at his team and wondered why they stared at him like he was some kind of cartoon character that held a gigantic firecracker when it blew up. He glanced at Matt and Jackson and saw the same look on their faces.
"Umm, Dr. Grissom? What happened? I mean you look, well, you look as if someone died." Matt stared intently at Grissom. His attire wasn't messed up but his expression was a mixture of sadness and frustration while his hair was going in every direction. 'Something happened and whatever it is, it involved Sara.'
"I just need to find Sara. Have any of you seen her?" Grissom looked back around at the people in front of them and watched as they shook their heads. 'Great, now where?' He asked Jackson, "Where would she go if she was upset?"
"Well, there are probably only three choices. She is either one, in the gym, beating the crap out of something, two, riding on the beach or three, with Jarod. That is usually where I have seen her when she has been upset or down and out." Jackson, in his mind, figured she would be with Jarod. 'But then again, if his appearance is any indication she might be in the gym.' "Umm, I might suggest that if what ever happened was bad enough, you should check the gym first. She might be working off any anger or anything else before talking about it." Grissom nodded at him then stood and headed off in the direction of the Hotel, leaving the rest of them to discuss his appearance.
"She knows." Catherine let the words out on a shallow breath. She shook her head as she watched her boss and friend head off. Warrick and Nick both looked at Catherine then shook their heads as if they knew that they were watching their boss heading off to the gallows.
"Catherine, what do you mean? What does Sara know?" Matt asked with intrigue. He and Jackson wore expressions of worry as Catherine broke her stare and turned to look at them.
"Grissom found the discs or DSAs, I think they're called, of Sara. He spent all afternoon in his room watching them right up until he came down here tonight." Catherine took a drink of her Screwdriver then stared at it as she said, "She probably found him there and blew up at him for it."
"If that's the case, then she probably went to find Jarod. He's just as private about those as she is." Jackson tilted his head in consideration. "It's probably best that we don't interfere in this. From what Sara said about last night, they will have to work this one out on their own."
His comment caused the CSIs to crank their necks at him with questions in their eyes. He and Matt just smiled then picked up their drinks. They knew that the CSIs didn't know that Sara had told them about her night with Grissom and although it wasn't in detail, it was enough.
Grissom traveled the length of the Pit to the back stairway that lead to the gym and as he approached he heard voices and what sounded like a fist hitting a bag. Sure enough, that's what it was. Sara was literally punching a boxing bag and Jarod was standing off to the side with his eyes glued to her. Grissom was able to finally make out her words and heard the anger in her tone.
"I trusted him, Jarod." She hit the bag again. "I trusted him but he took that and stomped all over it." She swung again but this time Jarod blocked her hand with his and allowed her to fall against him. She was exhausted. They sank to the floor and sat close to each other. "Jarod, how could he? I told him myself what I went through and how much it pained me to tell him. Then he turns around, steals the DSAs and watches them. He knew I didn't want him to. He knew I didn't want him to know all of that stuff." Her tears flowed freely again as she talked about it. "Why does everyone seem to have to interfere in my life? Why can't people just let me be, let me live my life?"
"Sara." Jarod rubbed her back as she let everything out but now tilted her head up to meet his face and eyes. "When you're in a relationship, trust can only be built when there are no secrets."
"Ugh… Jarod, we don't have a relationship." She stood abruptly and spoke as she glared down at him. "God, we slept together. That doesn't make it a relationship. We've been friends, we've been colleagues but we've never been in a relationship. And far as trust, it, like Rome, wasn't built in a day. My secrets are just that, secrets, and I think I have had very good reasons for not wanting them to be told."
Jarod craned his neck backward to look at her and listen. He understood completely what she was talking about and in some ways felt the same as her. But he knew, from his own experience with Miss Parker, that secrets have a way of letting themselves be found out and when they do, the holder is left in pieces. "Sara, if I understand Dr. Grissom at all, then I believe him to be someone who cares deeply for you and only wants to understand so that he can know you better."
"That's a crock, Jarod." Sara turned and walked toward the locker room but twisted around to face Jarod again as he stood. "If he wants to understand me, to know me better then why the hell doesn't he tell me his secrets? I know plenty of them but have never let on because it should be him telling me, not me telling him, like the fact about his hearing. I knew before I left Vegas and came here that he was having problems, it was obvious and I didn't get into his computer or track down his doctor or even ask him about it. I just knew from his actions and attitude. And I should add, he had it corrected before they came down here."
Jarod blinked at her, taking everything in that she had said. 'She really would have been great just as a Pretender.' He thought as she marched off toward the locker room. He sighed then turned and glanced upward to see Grissom leaning against the railing. He hoped that the man had heard the conversation and would act on it. Jarod took the stairs two at a time and when he reached the top, he nodded at Grissom then left.
Grissom slowly descended to the gym level and meandered his way around the room finally stopping at the punching bag. His figure was hidden by it when Sara came walking back out a half hour later. She was in the middle of pulling her hair back into a ponytail when she saw the movement by the bag. Grissom stepped around it and waited with his hands stuffed in his pockets until she looked over at him. They stood their staring at each other, neither wanting to be the first to speak.
Grissom finally took a step forward and as he opened his mouth, Sara rapidly raised her hand to stop him. He stepped back and remained silent, knowing that everything depended on it. "Don't Grissom. Now is not the time. I," She drew in a deep breath and dropped her head down with eyes closed. She slowly let out her breath then looked back up at him as she said, "I need to gain some control before I attempt to talk to you." She dropped her hand back down then turned and left the gym.
Grissom hung his head and shook it as he thought about what that had cost her to say and do. No matter how angry she was, she showed her feelings for him by not allowing herself to lash out at him. The loss of her trust hit him like a bullet through the heart, tearing a large gaping hole in it. 'What have I done?'
