G Gundam Hysteria II
By Shadowlord, SC-0612, Sage, and Ronin
Disclaimer – SC-0612: We don't own G Gundam. We've been through this many, many times before. Sunrise owns G Gundam. Do we look like Sunrise to you? Although Shadowlord owns the Mysterious Man, who is in fact a made-up character.
A/N - Sage: Hold on to your socks, folks. This is one long episode parody, so we've broken it up for your convenience...and there is a guest appearance of the Mysterious Man in this story, and Shadowlord tells me he'll be the main character of a story she's working on, so go ahead and look forward to that.
In response to reviews:
Shuffle Queen - Ronin: Well...we wrote more...quite a bit more, actually...
Turtle Lover - Shadowlord: *grins evilly* Oh, Ulube will get hurt much, much worse...as will Wong, and Allenby, and Dr. Mikamura, and...*begins randomly naming even more characters she can't stand*
---
Episode One: Domon's Encounter with the Idiot Italian Inspector
Part One
---
Rome, Neo Italy, approximately one year later:
*Two police officers drive towards the site of a meteorite crash*
Inspector Belchino: Any word from Headquarters?
Officer Mezzina: Not yet, sir. Should I call and request information?
Belchino: Nah, don't bother.
*They pull up in front of a large crater, in the center of which is a large, bud-shaped pod*
Mezzina: What on Earth is THAT?!
Belchino: Uh...
*A mysterious man whispers into Belchino's ear*
Mysterious Man: It's a gundam carrier, you idiot!
Belchino: Hey, Mezzina, I bet it's a gundam carrier...
Mezzina: Wow, Inspector, I bet you're right for once! What gave you the idea it was a carrier?
Belchino: *looks around innocently* I really don't know...my vast intelligence, I suppose...
Mysterious Man: Hmph...no gratitude...
Mezzina: Man, it came down right in the middle of the Spanish Steps!
Belchino: Aw...I met my wife there...*gets teary-eyed* Sophia: many memories...*sighs*
Mezzina: Inspector...you're embarrassing yourself...
Belchino: *sniffles* Ahem...where was I?
Mezzina: The pod...
Belchino: Ah, yes. Well, Mezzina-
*Three thugs come running up*
Cameron: Get outta our way, dudes!
Belchino: Eek! *hides behind Mezzina* Don't hurt me!
Mezzina: Inspector...
Lete: Man, what is THAT?!
Anore: I dunno...let's check it out!
Mezzina: Hey, you can't go there!
Cameron: Sure we can!
Mezzina: No, you can't!
Lete: We work for Michelo Chariot, and he said we could! *sticks out his tongue* Nyah!
Mezzina: He's even more immature than you, Inspector...
Belchino: Yeah...hey!
Anore: Hey, Lete! Whaddya think we should do with this?
Lete: *shrugs* I dunno...let's tell Boss about it. *runs off, with Anore following*
Cameron: Yeah! *waves at Mezzina and Belchino* Later, dudes! *chases after Lete and Anore*
Belchino: *waves* Bye!
Mezzina: You're such an idiot sometimes, Inspector...
---
Later, at a small bar:
*Three kids harass a brooding man sitting by himself*
Boy: Hey, wanna buy some computer chips?
Domon: No...
Chubby Boy: What about some gum?
Domon: No...
Sophia: Buy some pretty flowers!
Domon: No...
*Cameron, Anore, and Lete enter*
Lete: Howdy, folks!
Boy: Eek! *hides*
Lete: *drags boy out from under a table* There you are, you little squirt! Where's my money-YEOW!!! *is thrown across the room by Domon's punch* Ow...
Domon: It's not polite to take money from little kids. Even if they are amazingly annoying.
Lete: Why, you little... *charges Domon* I'll get you!!
Domon: Hold on a second, okay?
Lete: *stops* Huh?
Domon: *searching his pockets* Just a moment...where is that stupid thing? *pulls out a photograph* Aha! *holds the picture up in front of Lete* Do you know this man?
Lete: *studies picture* Hm...that guy kinda looks like my uncle Herman...Cameron, what do you think?
Cameron: Your uncle's taller...and he has a bigger chin...
Anore: He's right...besides, isn't your uncle dead?
Lete: Oh, yeah...I forgot about that...*shrugs* Nope, don't know him...where was I?
Domon: You were charging madly towards me screaming "I'll get you!" at the top of your lungs.
Lete: Oh, yeah...*charges Domon* I'll get you!
---
Outside:
*An elderly couple walk by, watching some children play in the pond in front of the bar. Crickets are chirping, a young child is laughing...*
Lete: *crashes through a window* Aiee! *lands in pond* Ouchies...
*Cameron flies out a window, landing on Lete*
Cameron: Man, Lete, thanks for breaking my fall, dude.
Lete: *moans* Aaah...
*Anore flies out the window, landing on Cameron and Lete*
Anore: Aiee...oomph.
Cameron: Ow...I hurt...
Lete: I hurt more! Hmph...no one broke MY fall!
*Domon comes outside*
Domon: Hey-
Lete: Aah! It's him! Run for your lives!
Belchino: Hold it! You are all...*glances down at a stack of notecards in his hands*...under...arrest...You are all under arrest! *turns to Mezzina* How was that?
Mezzina: Very good!
Belchino: *beaming*
Domon: ...
Belchino: Hey, don't look at me like that. I know what I'm doing!
Domon: ...
Belchino: Well...Mezzina knows what I'm doing!
Domon: ...
Belchino: What?
Domon: *shrugs* Whatever.
Belchino: Well...you're under arrest!
Domon: You already said that.
Belchino: You're still under arrest! Now, all of you, come with me!
---
Later, at the police station/jailhouse:
Mezzina: Hey, Inspector, there's a lady here to see you.
Belchino: To see ME?! But...what do I DO?!
Mezzina: Calm down, Inspector. First, don't do anything stupid. Second, don't say anything you don't absolutely need to.
Belchino: But...
Mezzina: Just nod and say "uh-huh" to anything she says and you'll be fine, okay? I'll send her in now.
Belchino: But...
Rain Mikamura: Hello. You must be Inspector Belchino. I am Rain Mikamura, and I am a representative of the Neo Japanese government, and a member of our gundam support team. I believe you have our gundam fighter?
Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...
Rain: You do? Good! Could you do me a favor and let him out? We're very busy...
Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...
Rain: Good! Thank you very much.
Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...
Rain: ...Right. Sophia:, where is Domon?
Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...
Rain: ... *smiles hesitantly* Eh...could you go get him for me?
Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...*exits room*
Rain: Right...he's a few vulcan guns short of a gundam...
---
Interrogation Room:
Mezzina: C'mon, tell us where your gundam is. We'll give you a pizza!
Domon: Hm...what type?
Mezzina: Pepperoni?
Domon: No! I'm allergic to pepperoni!
Belchino: *enters* Hey, uh...you, there's some lady here to get you out.
Rain: Didya miss me, Domon?
Domon: No, not really...I can go?
Mezzina: He can go?
Belchino: Yep.
Mezzina: But...but...
Belchino: See? I told you I knew what I was doing.
Mezzina: But...but...
Belchino: So go already!
Domon: Uh...yeah. Okay...*leaves*
Mezzina: But...but that pod destroyed the Spanish Steps! Sophia: many memories, remember?
Belchino: Aiee! You're right! *chases after Domon* Come back here, you!
---
