G Gundam Hysteria II

By Shadowlord, SC-0612, Sage, and Ronin

Disclaimer – SC-0612: We don't own G Gundam. We've been through this many, many times before. Sunrise owns G Gundam. Do we look like Sunrise to you? Although Shadowlord owns the Mysterious Man, who is in fact a made-up character.

A/N - Sage: Hold on to your socks, folks. This is one long episode parody, so we've broken it up for your convenience...and there is a guest appearance of the Mysterious Man in this story, and Shadowlord tells me he'll be the main character of a story she's working on, so go ahead and look forward to that.

In response to reviews:

Shuffle Queen - Ronin: Well...we wrote more...quite a bit more, actually...

Turtle Lover - Shadowlord: *grins evilly* Oh, Ulube will get hurt much, much worse...as will Wong, and Allenby, and Dr. Mikamura, and...*begins randomly naming even more characters she can't stand*

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Episode One: Domon's Encounter with the Idiot Italian Inspector

Part One

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Rome, Neo Italy, approximately one year later:

*Two police officers drive towards the site of a meteorite crash*

Inspector Belchino: Any word from Headquarters?

Officer Mezzina: Not yet, sir. Should I call and request information?

Belchino: Nah, don't bother.

*They pull up in front of a large crater, in the center of which is a large, bud-shaped pod*

Mezzina: What on Earth is THAT?!

Belchino: Uh...

*A mysterious man whispers into Belchino's ear*

Mysterious Man: It's a gundam carrier, you idiot!

Belchino: Hey, Mezzina, I bet it's a gundam carrier...

Mezzina: Wow, Inspector, I bet you're right for once! What gave you the idea it was a carrier?

Belchino: *looks around innocently* I really don't know...my vast intelligence, I suppose...

Mysterious Man: Hmph...no gratitude...

Mezzina: Man, it came down right in the middle of the Spanish Steps!

Belchino: Aw...I met my wife there...*gets teary-eyed* Sophia: many memories...*sighs*

Mezzina: Inspector...you're embarrassing yourself...

Belchino: *sniffles* Ahem...where was I?

Mezzina: The pod...

Belchino: Ah, yes. Well, Mezzina-

*Three thugs come running up*

Cameron: Get outta our way, dudes!

Belchino: Eek! *hides behind Mezzina* Don't hurt me!

Mezzina: Inspector...

Lete: Man, what is THAT?!

Anore: I dunno...let's check it out!

Mezzina: Hey, you can't go there!

Cameron: Sure we can!

Mezzina: No, you can't!

Lete: We work for Michelo Chariot, and he said we could! *sticks out his tongue* Nyah!

Mezzina: He's even more immature than you, Inspector...

Belchino: Yeah...hey!

Anore: Hey, Lete! Whaddya think we should do with this?

Lete: *shrugs* I dunno...let's tell Boss about it. *runs off, with Anore following*

Cameron: Yeah! *waves at Mezzina and Belchino* Later, dudes! *chases after Lete and Anore*

Belchino: *waves* Bye!

Mezzina: You're such an idiot sometimes, Inspector...

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Later, at a small bar:

*Three kids harass a brooding man sitting by himself*

Boy: Hey, wanna buy some computer chips?

Domon: No...

Chubby Boy: What about some gum?

Domon: No...

Sophia: Buy some pretty flowers!

Domon: No...

*Cameron, Anore, and Lete enter*

Lete: Howdy, folks!

Boy: Eek! *hides*

Lete: *drags boy out from under a table* There you are, you little squirt! Where's my money-YEOW!!! *is thrown across the room by Domon's punch* Ow...

Domon: It's not polite to take money from little kids. Even if they are amazingly annoying.

Lete: Why, you little... *charges Domon* I'll get you!!

Domon: Hold on a second, okay?

Lete: *stops* Huh?

Domon: *searching his pockets* Just a moment...where is that stupid thing? *pulls out a photograph* Aha! *holds the picture up in front of Lete* Do you know this man?

Lete: *studies picture* Hm...that guy kinda looks like my uncle Herman...Cameron, what do you think?

Cameron: Your uncle's taller...and he has a bigger chin...

Anore: He's right...besides, isn't your uncle dead?

Lete: Oh, yeah...I forgot about that...*shrugs* Nope, don't know him...where was I?

Domon: You were charging madly towards me screaming "I'll get you!" at the top of your lungs.

Lete: Oh, yeah...*charges Domon* I'll get you!

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Outside:

*An elderly couple walk by, watching some children play in the pond in front of the bar. Crickets are chirping, a young child is laughing...*

Lete: *crashes through a window* Aiee! *lands in pond* Ouchies...

*Cameron flies out a window, landing on Lete*

Cameron: Man, Lete, thanks for breaking my fall, dude.

Lete: *moans* Aaah...

*Anore flies out the window, landing on Cameron and Lete*

Anore: Aiee...oomph.

Cameron: Ow...I hurt...

Lete: I hurt more! Hmph...no one broke MY fall!

*Domon comes outside*

Domon: Hey-

Lete: Aah! It's him! Run for your lives!

Belchino: Hold it! You are all...*glances down at a stack of notecards in his hands*...under...arrest...You are all under arrest! *turns to Mezzina* How was that?

Mezzina: Very good!

Belchino: *beaming*

Domon: ...

Belchino: Hey, don't look at me like that. I know what I'm doing!

Domon: ...

Belchino: Well...Mezzina knows what I'm doing!

Domon: ...

Belchino: What?

Domon: *shrugs* Whatever.

Belchino: Well...you're under arrest!

Domon: You already said that.

Belchino: You're still under arrest! Now, all of you, come with me!

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Later, at the police station/jailhouse:

Mezzina: Hey, Inspector, there's a lady here to see you.

Belchino: To see ME?! But...what do I DO?!

Mezzina: Calm down, Inspector. First, don't do anything stupid. Second, don't say anything you don't absolutely need to.

Belchino: But...

Mezzina: Just nod and say "uh-huh" to anything she says and you'll be fine, okay? I'll send her in now.

Belchino: But...

Rain Mikamura: Hello. You must be Inspector Belchino. I am Rain Mikamura, and I am a representative of the Neo Japanese government, and a member of our gundam support team. I believe you have our gundam fighter?

Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...

Rain: You do? Good! Could you do me a favor and let him out? We're very busy...

Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...

Rain: Good! Thank you very much.

Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...

Rain: ...Right. Sophia:, where is Domon?

Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...

Rain: ... *smiles hesitantly* Eh...could you go get him for me?

Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...*exits room*

Rain: Right...he's a few vulcan guns short of a gundam...

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Interrogation Room:

Mezzina: C'mon, tell us where your gundam is. We'll give you a pizza!

Domon: Hm...what type?

Mezzina: Pepperoni?

Domon: No! I'm allergic to pepperoni!

Belchino: *enters* Hey, uh...you, there's some lady here to get you out.

Rain: Didya miss me, Domon?

Domon: No, not really...I can go?

Mezzina: He can go?

Belchino: Yep.

Mezzina: But...but...

Belchino: See? I told you I knew what I was doing.

Mezzina: But...but...

Belchino: So go already!

Domon: Uh...yeah. Okay...*leaves*

Mezzina: But...but that pod destroyed the Spanish Steps! Sophia: many memories, remember?

Belchino: Aiee! You're right! *chases after Domon* Come back here, you!

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