Title: Lost and Found

Author: Kat

Distribution: Go ahead, I guess. Just ask first, please.

Feedback: I mean it, people. I'm not gonna stop writing this story, 'cause I'm a Writer, of the capital 'W' variety, and we don't like to leave stories unfinished when there is still more to write. But I will stop posting the chapters I write, if I don't get reviews. Come on, you can't just give me enough to get addicted to them and then cut off the supply. That's cruel! Review! Please? Pretty please?

Summary: Ok, I think you all know the general Summary of the story by now, so I'm gonna start just summarizing chapters, k? Angel watches over Buffy and remembers a day that never happened. Riley's fed on energy for the first time, now. And Tara starts to figure out what's going on.

FYI: This story is true to previous events. Other than that, not only does it not stay remotely true to the story line, it is part of my ongoing 'Corrections' series; meant to remedy Joss's mistakes! Starts around the time of The Yoko Factor on Buffy, and Sanctuary on Angel, just before Buffy gets back from LA.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Joss created them. And then he messed with their lives and separated soul-mates and tortured them and hurt them and we hate him for what he's done to our beloved characters… Ok, done ranting. For now.

Dedication: For Stephanie, who will never give up on B/A. And who deserves a great correction fic to clear up a mistake even I, non-Riley-hater that I am, thought was way out of character. Buffy Soooo would not have chosen Riley over Angel. Even if she was mad at him. And thus this fic was born.

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Angel sat keeping vigil over his beloved, alone with his thoughts. She slept peacefully, no longer quite as pale as she had been when she first collapsed. One hand held hers as the other gently stroked her hair. How could he have ever left her? He couldn't help blaming himself for whatever had happened to her. He knew in his head that his presence probably wouldn't have made any difference, but his heart wasn't buying it. Worry and guilt kept him company throughout the long night and into the morning. By the time the sky began to lighten, Angel had made a decision. Whatever had hurt her would not have a chance to do it again. He would be there, watching over her, guarding her, and nothing would touch her if he had anything to say about it. Watching her sleeping, vulnerable, he was overwhelmed with love, and a calm certainty that he would die protecting her with no regrets. He had already given up so much for her, and yet he would do it again in a heartbeat. Tears welled up as he remembered the one perfect day they'd had together, the day she didn't remember. The day that never officially happened. Touching her, breathing in her familiar, beloved scent, Angel was transported back into memory.

'The sun was warm on my skin. I'd forgotten what that felt like. She felt me approach, the way we always seem to feel it when we're close to each other. She turned and her eyes went wide when she saw me standing in the sunlight. The very first time she saw me in the sun. I kissed her, and that was all the explanation she needed.'

Buffy stirred in her sleep, bringing Angel instantly alert. It was the first time she'd moved since lapsing into unconciousness. He watched her closely, silently begging her to open her eyes, but she didn't move again, and after a while, his mind drifted once more to that bittersweet day.

'We decided it would be a bad idea to rush into things. We should just take it slow, stay away from each other for a while until things got sorted out. It was all resolved, and she was leaving. Then her hand touched mine. The next thing I knew she was in my arms. God, kissing her felt so good, so *right*! And all our resolve, all our planning was instantly swept away by love and passion. There was no curse to separate us. We just couldn't stay apart based on willpower alone. And we broke the kitchen table.'

Angel smiled through his tears, leaning down to kiss her lightly on the lips. She didn't even stir, but he thought he felt her kiss him back, oh so softly. He wished he could bask in sweet memories of that one perfect day with her forever, but unbidden came other memories.

'I was powerless against that demon. I nearly got her killed. And I couldn't live like that. I couldn't accept having her then if it meant not being able to save her later. I knew what I had to do. I went back to the Oracles and asked them to change me back. I knew it would kill her if she knew. It nearly killed me. But I had to save her. After all we'd been through, all we'd given up for each other, we still couldn't be together. And she swore she'd never forget. But now I'm the only one who remembers. Those last few moments together, when we tried to say goodbye…'

Angel's throat closed on his memories, as he wept silently, brokenly for what he had lost. She had heard his heart beating. She had seen him in the sun. They had made love, fed each other ice cream, stood side by side, reflected in the mirror together…He heard the voice of the Oracles echo through his head. "You alone will carry the memory of this day. Can you carry that burden?"

'No! I can't carry that burden! Now that the demon is dead, why must I remember?' But he knew that, painful as they were, he treasured his memories of that day. As he stroked her hair, spread like liquid gold across her pillow, he silently thanked the Powers That Be for those 24 hours. And he remembered another man, talking about another golden haired woman…in a romance movie Cordy had made him watch. She'd been amused by the irony of the title; City of Angels. "I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than an eternity without it." Not for the first time, Angel reflected on how relevant the world of movies could be to everyday life. People always said Hollywood wasn't real. But they were looking at the wrong side of the coin. An angel becoming human so he could be with the woman he'd fallen in love with? No, that wasn't real. But a man mourning the loss of the woman he loved, and in spite of his pain, knowing that he would have suffered all he did to get to her even if he knew she'd die the next day…that was real. Angel knew just how real it was. He had been that man.



Riley actually whistled as he walked, heading for Buffy's dorm. He had never felt so good in all his life. He'd felt so much better after a little more time spent resting in his room; he'd ventured to the Bronze to see if he could find Buffy. Ok, maybe that wasn't the best idea, since he was a fugitive, and most likely came under the shoot-on-sight heading for most of his former colleagues, but he was in such a good mood he couldn't believe anything bad might happen to him. And he wanted to see her, to welcome her back properly, and maybe they could go back to his room together, as they hadn't had a chance to do for a good while… But she hadn't been at the Bronze. Lots of other people had, though. And a good half of them had been involved in a brawl that splintered furniture, spilled drinks, and bloodied more than a few noses before the police finally managed to get it all sorted out. Riley had been in the thick of it, taking out his frustration on anyone who got in his way. Each punch he threw was the easing of a grievance Riley had been harboring, and the more bruises he inflicted, the better he felt. He worked out all his frustrations, all his fear, and when the violence was over, he felt sated. No, more than sated. He had never felt so euphoric, so energized, so *alive*! It was wonderful. The way he felt now, he could probably whip that demon's ass that had so taken it out of him the night before. He could whip anything's ass. Nothing could stop him now. Nothing.



Angel glanced at the clock. Buffy had been lying motionless for nearly ten hours, and he was starting to get desperate. Her hand in his was cool, and although her pulse was strong, it seemed a bit too slow…He looked down at her, torn between going for help, and the need to stay by her side. But in the end, there was no choice, really. He couldn't leave her. So he sat holding her hand and watched her sleep. She looked so beautiful, so fragile. Unconciousness erased all the worry and preternatural maturity from her face, and she looked like the girl she was. She was so tiny, so delicate, he marveled once again at the strength he knew was contained in that graceful, girlish frame. Not just physical strength, but strength of spirit. And that strength of spirit was the only thread of hope he had to cling to. He willed her silently to wake up. He knew she'd wake up soon, just because the world needed her. She *would* wake up. He wished there was more he could do. It seemed that she had to fight too many battles alone. But all he could do was guard her. So that's what he would do. He wouldn't let anything touch her. Nothing would harm her while he lived. Almost without thinking, he reached out to touch her face. Her skin was smooth and soft against his palm. Not fevered, at least. His fingers traced her jaw, her lips. Never had he been able to touch her like this while she slept. He wondered at her perfection. His fingers explored her features as if he had never seen them before, caught up in his love and amazement…Angel's keen hearing jerked him out of his thoughts. He looked up, snarling, hand still possessively cupping her face, instantly ready to protect his love.



Willow unlocked the door as quietly as possible, in case Buffy was there and asleep. She wasn't in the dorm often, but then neither was Willow. Last night's routine was becoming more and more the usual for her. She had gone to the Bronze with Tara after taking Riley his food, and then back to Tara's room to do spells. And other things. Thoughts of her girlfriend made her smile, as they always did, as Willow opened the door and froze at the sight of Buffy on the bed, pale, with a vampire standing over her. Almost before she could register the fact of his presence, he was across the room. She fumbled in her pocket and her hand closed around the stake she carried there just as the vampire pinned her to the wall, strong hand closing around her throat. She tore her coat getting the stake out and prepared to thrust it into the monster's chest, but it dropped from nerveless fingers when the demonic visage shifted to one she knew very well.

"Willow." He relaxed suddenly and let her go, returning to Buffy's side to check her pulse again and take her hand. He looked at her wordlessly, his face a mask of worry and frustration. Willow stood, still in shock, absently rubbing her recently constricted throat. What in the name of all that was holy was *Angel* doing there? And why would he attack her? Willow suddenly remembered Buffy's preoccupation that morning, as an even more disturbing line of questioning occurred to her. She'd been in LA. With Angel. What if… Oh, holy Goddess. Was this Angel? Or Angelus? Thoughts of Angelus filled her with panic, and she quickly reached down to reclaim the stake she had dropped. She stood, indecisive, stake at the ready. She couldn't stake him if he was Angel, of course, but what would make Angel attack her? And what if she guessed wrong and he hurt Buffy? She had to find out for sure, but she had no idea… Yes, she did! Of course, it was so simple! She smiled to herself, in spite of her misgivings, and picked up the phone.



Tara's automatic joy at hearing Willow's voice was replaced instantly by concern. She'd just left. She wouldn't be calling unless something was wrong. "Wil, what is it? A-are you ok?"

"Yeah, Tara, I'm fine, but Buffy's not… Could you just come over here? It's sort of hard to explain, but I need you to check someone's aura. To see if he has a soul."

Tara's concern deepened to something akin to blind panic. A person without a soul… But no, if Willow had encountered the Soulless Ones, she wouldn't be calling Tara. She would be quite dead, or at the very least running for her life. Tara forced herself to calm down, at least until she knew what was going on. It couldn't be the Soulless. Willow had said she was fine. Breathe, Tara. Willow was fine. So, what could she possibly want to know?



Willow watched Angel (Angelus?) warily while she waited, stake in hand. He didn't seem inclined to attack her again, but who knew what was going on in his mind. He hadn't taken his eyes from Buffy since going back to her; Willow thought he might almost have forgotten she was there. So, she watched, and waited, and breathed a deep sigh of relief when she at last heard a knock on the door. She went to open it, even more glad to see her lover than usual, if such a thing were possible. She opened her mouth to try to explain the situation to Tara, but stopped as her lover stared past her in shock in the direction of Buffy's bed. Her lips moved ineffectually, and she finally managed, "What did that?" sounding more horrified (and terrified) than Willow had ever heard anyone sound.



An unfamiliar female voice again startled Angel momentarily out of his brooding worry, and he looked up long enough to growl absently at the newcomer. But he knew Willow was there, so he didn't bother to attack. If trouble came to Buffy, it would find him guarding her. If trouble was content to stand across the room, that was fine with him. Just as long as he didn't have to let go of her hand.



Tara gasped again, and shrank back against Willow, confused anew. "A vampire? But he has a soul…" Her voice was perplexed as she searched her lover's face for answers, and she only grew more perplexed when Willow relaxed visibly and smiled.

"Oh, good. I was so worried he'd changed again…" Willow trailed off as she realized the source of Tara's confusion. "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you didn't know. Ok, I don't really have time to give you the whole story, but, well, there is one vampire who has a soul. Angel. He was Buffy's boyfriend in high school, and he's a really good and caring person. He helps people, to try to make up for what he did before he got his soul back. Anyway, he lost it again for a while, and…it wasn't pretty."

Willow's face grew momentarily sad, remembering what, and *who* they had all lost. Giles had never really recovered from that. If anything like that ever happened to Tara…she didn't even want to think about it. "After he left, Buffy didn't like to talk about him much, so we all just sort of added him to the not-a-good-topic-for-conversation-with-Buffy list, along with drowning, her dad, the Watcher's council… She'd gone to LA to see him, and help out with Faith, and she just got back yesterday. Then he showed up, and she was like that… I just wanted to make sure I could trust him." Willow studied Tara's face. She looked marginally less confused, but no less thoughtful and worried.

"He has a soul," she affirmed absently before disengaging herself from Willow and going to stand beside Buffy. Angel didn't even look up again as she approached, but Willow knew he was aware of her presence. Tara must have known too, since she stopped before she got close enough to intrude on his area of protection, and studied the unconscious Slayer, a look of intense concentration on her face.



Buffy's aura was weak, as if she were losing the will to live, but Tara was sure that wasn't the reason. Whatever was causing her condition, it came from outside herself. She started as she realized the implications of that thought, and the color drained from her face. "No, it's not possible…" She sank slowly to the floor, numb in body and mind. There had to be some other explanation…but only one thing could explain what she Saw. She almost wished Buffy really *was* losing her will to live… At least that could be dealt with. But as Tara watched, the Slayer's aura *flickered*- brightened momentarily, then dimmed again. She'd watched it flicker three times before she could force herself to be sure she was seeing it. Before she could accept that it was really happening. This was the stuff of the darkest fairy tales, the stuff of nightmare. No one's aura flickered naturally. Aura's just didn't *do* that! She felt Willow's arms encircle her, as she began to shake with reaction, and she leaned back into her, grateful for the support. She looked up and captured her lover's worried eyes with her own, equally troubled. "Willow, she's…I-I think…I think s-s-something d- drained her life-force."