Extra Author's Note: A significant part of this is, basically, ripped of
(with permission) from Pete Meilinger's story "Now Batting for the Other
Team."
______________________________________________
"Willow leave?" Xander asked when Buffy came back into the store.
"Yup," Buffy said. "She had some things to take care of."
Xander nodded. "So, Giles," he said. "What's the word on the demons? Big, continual threat thingy, or random Hellmouthy-ness?"
"Um, neither, actually. They seem to be hunters. These demons grow up in a culture where hunting brings honor."
"Sort of like the Predator," Xander said.
"The what?"
"Movie," Xander said. "Never mind. Oh, did I tell you that Faith said they claimed they were ordered to kill her?"
"No," Giles said, "but it makes little difference. They travel in groups of three, and do have some basic forms of telepathy. Each group is given a target, or target type, by the leader of the clan, clans usually consisting of about thirty of these demons, and hunts only them. I don't think that they'll be a further problem."
"Good," said Buffy.
"Still," Giles said. "I do think you should be particularly careful on patrols in the next few days. Perhaps take more than just stakes?"
"Swords and axes then, sounds like fun."
"Yes, good," Giles said.
The door jingled again as Faith and Riley walked in, hand in hand.
"Damn," Faith said. "Red is wicked excited."
"You talked to her?" Xander asked.
"Oh yeah, ran into her on the way here. She serious about that?"
"She seemed like it, when she was here," Buffy said.
"Wicked," Faith said, smiling.
"Okay, somebody gonna fill me in?" Xander asked.
"Oh," Buffy said. "That's, uh, really the kind of thing Willow should tell you on her own."
"Oh," Xander said, a little disappointed.
"I'm sure she'll tell you," said Riley. "She said she talked to Buffy, and was just really excited when she bumped into us."
"And that was literally," said Faith. "Ran around the corner and right into us. Girl was way psyched."
That did little to comfort Xander. Buffy gave him a kiss. "She'll tell you," she said. "She probably just has to work a thing or two out first."
Xander nodded. "Okay."
"All right," Giles said. "Buffy, Faith, if the two of you would patrol tonight, I would. . ."
The door jingled.
"Can I help you?" Giles asked.
"Sure, I'm looking for Buffy and company," said the voice.
"PIKE!" yelled Dawn, shooting from her seat and jumping on the man.
"Hey, munchkin," Pike said, messing with Dawn's hair. "How ya been, kid?"
"I'm not a kid anymore," she said.
"That's right, the big one-three. How's that working out for you?"
"I've had better years," Dawn said, seriously.
Pike chuckled. "You always were a little precocious."
"No, I wasn't," she protested.
"Giles, Riley, this is Pike," Buffy said. "He's the one who shot the demon last night."
"Nice to meet you," Giles said, giving him a once over.
"Hi," Riley said, extending a hand, which Pike shook. "Faith told me about the demon. What kind of ammo do you use?"
"Just regular armor piercing rounds," Pike said. "That'll get through most of your tough demon hides."
Dawn edged her way over to Xander. "Am I precocious?" she whispered.
"I'll be sure to tell you once I find out what that means," he answered back.
"Where do you get your munitions?" Riley asked.
"I know a guy in Los Angeles who does special orders for me. He's knows what goes bump in the night, gives me a real good deal."
Riley nodded. "Well, Faith said you saved Xander's life. So thanks for that."
"It's in the job description, although I have a feeling that girl of yours could have done just as good a job."
"All the same, thanks."
"Hey, shouldn't I be saying that?" Xander asked.
"Yes," Giles said. "If you had manners."
Giles moved out from behind the counter. "I understand you've been hunting demons for some time?"
"Yeah, about as long as Buffy here," Pike said.
Faith went and checked the register tapes for the day, then snickered.
"I've been wandering all over," he said, "picking things up here and there, doing occasional jobs for money."
"That where you learned to shoot?" Buffy asked.
Pike smirked. "No. I saved a priestess's daughter from some vamps. As repayment, she gave me this amulet," he said, holding up a jeweled necklace, "and upgraded my eye as well. Also, her daughter had a mouth like a Hoover."
"Pike!" yelled Buffy, eyes wide and nodding at Dawn.
Dawn rolled her eyes.
"What do you mean, upgraded your eye?" Xander asked.
"Oh, she did a spell on me. I have perfect aim."
"How perfect?" Giles asked.
"Perfect. I can hit flea at 150 yards in gale force winds. I know, too, I was in South Carolina last hurricane season. I can even hit somebody behind me if it's an LOD sitch."
"LOD?" Xander asked.
"Life or death," Pike explained.
"What's the jewelry for?" asked Faith.
"Oh, it kind of heals me faster. Nothing extreme, like your boy over there," he said, indicating Xander. "Broken bones take like four weeks instead of six." Pike shrugged. "It's cool."
"So what exactly was it that brought you here, Pike?" Buffy asked. "Not that I'm not happy to see you."
"Well, there's a couple reasons I'm here. One was to see my Summers girls. Another reason was, as I said, I hooked up with a guy who used to do business in these parts. We heard a rumor about something big going down here, so we came."
"Rumor? What rumor?" Riley asked.
"I don't know," Pike said. "Nothing specific. But a bunch of demons are gettin' the hell outta Dodge. Scared of something called 314. Any of you know what that means?"
Everybody indicated their ignorance.
"Damn," he said. "I was hoping you guys would know."
"Who are you working with?" Xander asked.
Pike smiled. "You don't want to know. Trust me."
* * * * *
The door opened.
"Oh," said Tara. "H-hi. Come in."
Willow walked into the room. "Hi," she said. "Okay, so, I've been thinking about last night, about what happened."
"I-I'm sorry," Tara said, turning away from Willow. "I d-didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"No!" Willow said. "Don't say that. I mean, okay, yeah, I was a little surprised and I don't think I was quite ready for it, but I was a lot less surprised than I would have thought I would be. And, I think, maybe, that it might be something I might. . . enjoy trying again. Some time soon."
Tara turned back to her. "You mean. . .?" she asked.
Willow smiled warmly at her, and they hugged.
"W-would it be too soon to tell you that I think I'm f-falling in love with you?" Tara asked.
Willow pulled back from the hug and looked Tara straight in the eyes.
"Only if it would be too early for me to say the same thing."
Tara smiled, then leaned in and gave Willow a soft but intense kiss. She flicked her eyes up to the door and it swung closed.
* * * * *
They stood gathered around an oak tree the next day. Xander was nervous.
"Just go, you pansy," Faith said.
"Give him time," said Riley. "After all, it's not everyday your best friend since you were five calls you, says she has huge news, won't elaborate, and then nervously asks you to meet her at her dorm room, outside of which your closest friends, who already know the news, have all gathered to give said best friend moral support."
Xander glared at the soldier. "Thank you," he said sarcastically. "That was just the confidence booster I needed."
"Always glad to help," Riley said, smugly.
"Hey," Buffy said, gently taking his hand. "It'll be okay."
Xander nodded, took a deep breath and walked towards the dorm.
"I give him two minutes," Faith said once Xander was out of hearing distance.
"Four," said Riley.
"Guys!" Buffy said, scoldingly. "No way is it less than five."
"Five bucks?" Faith asked.
Buffy scoffed. "I'm in college and have no job," she said. "Try two."
"Two it is."
* * * * *
Xander walked up the stairs to the third floor of Stephenson Hall.
"Oh, hey Tara," he said as he saw the girl walking down the corridor.
"Oh, h-hi Xander," Tara said. "Are you going to see Willow?"
"That's where I'm headed now. You just come from there?"
Tara nodded.
"Any chance I can get a hint on this big news?"
Tara smiled and shook her head.
"Ahh, all right," he said. "You going to wait under the oak tree too?"
"Y-yes."
"Okay, well, I guess I'll see you later, then."
Tara waved shyly and walked off.
'Cute girl,' Xander thought. 'She's gonna make some guy real happy someday.'
Xander walked up to Willow's dorm and knocked.
"Come in!" Willow called from the other side.
Xander walked into the room and was immediately embraced by a seemingly giddy Willow.
"Hi," she said from somewhere in his chest.
"Hi yourself," he replied, returning the hug.
Willow finally released him and took a step back, then looked out the open window.
"What was that all about?" Xander asked as Willow waved to the rest of the gang.
"Oh," she said, turning back around. "It's just been a while since I had a Xander-hug, and I missed them, that's all."
"Well, I'm always happy to oblige," Xander said. "So, what's up? What's this big important news you needed to tell me?"
Willow smiled and motioned for him to sit down. He sat on what had been Buffy's bed. Willow started to pace for a bit.
"Okay," she said, sitting down after a minute. "What do you think about Tara?"
Xander was a little surprised by the question, but he played along.
"Um, well, I don't really know her that well," he said. "Just really from the few times you've brought her to hang out, but she seems really nice. Cute as a button, too. Actually, I ran into her in the hall and was just thinking she'd make some guy real happy someday."
Willow smiled, then inspected her feet.
"Willow?" Xander asked.
Getting no response, he dropped to his knees in front of her and lifted her head to look into her eyes. "Hey," he said. "You can tell me anything. You know that."
Willow looked at him, then smiled and took a deep breath.
"What if," she started. "What if that guy. . . the one that Tara made happy? What if he was. . . me?"
"Will, what? Unless you've had some major surgery you're not-" he stopped, the implication of what she said hitting him. "Oh," he said. "Oh. . . ohhhhhh! Really?"
Willow nodded nervously.
"So?" she asked.
"Well," he said, "it's certainly not what I expected, but if it's what you want, then great!"
"So, you're not freaked or anything?" she asked.
"Willow, no," he said, sitting next to her. "Of course not. I just want you to be happy, and if Tara can do that, then great. And I would love to get to know her better."
"You should," Willow gushed. "She's so nice and sweet and cute and great and she's just wonderful, Xander."
Xander grinned. "I'm sure I'll love her."
"Good," Willow said. "Because I do."
"Yeah?" he asked.
She nodded emphatically.
"Cool," he said. "But there are a few, uh, administrative details we have to take care of before this relationship can have the Best-Friend Seal of Approval ."
"Well," Willow said, "I wouldn't want to go ahead without that."
"Okay," Xander said, standing and pacing. "I just need to check her credentials first. Let me see. . . okay, so she's not a werewolf, right?"
"No," Willow said. "But you know I don't hold anything against Oz. You shouldn't either."
"I don't," he said. "I just wish that had. . . well, ended differently."
"Me too," Willow said.
"Okay! On with the certification. She's not a demon robot?"
"Xander! No, she's not a demon robot."
"Okay. And the final credential to make sure she's good enough for my Wills. Is she or is she not your supposed best friend who was dumb as a post for YEARS before noticing you at the most inopportune moment?"
"Xander, a post would have noticed me way before you ever did," she said smiling. "But there's nothing supposed about it. You are my best friend, and you always have been."
She stood up and gave him a big hug, which he returned in kind.
"Okay," he said after she had sat back down. "Well, then, there's just the one technical matter we have to clear up before you can move on with this."
'Technical matter?" she asked. "What do you mean?"
"Well," Xander said, looking around the room thoughtfully. "Where exactly are you going to set up the cameras?"
* * * * *
Across the campus, heads turned towards the sound of a shriek of outrage that echoed out from the third floor of Stephenson Hall. Precisely three people knew what was going on.
"I win," Buffy said. "Seven minutes, pay up."
Riley laughed as Faith grudgingly handed over two dollars to the blonde slayer. Tara was confused. Before they could explain, Xander rocketed out of the third floor window as though propelled by the base instinct of self- preservation. Which he was. He hit the ground and rolled, hopping to his feet to run as fast as he could.
Willow's head followed him out the window, her face bright red with anger and her arms waving. "ALEXANDER LAVELLE HARRIS, YOU COME BACK HERE AND DIE LIKE A MAN!"
Though her voice was likely heard across the campus, Xander ignored her and sprinted his way over to the group. Everyone was on their feet by the time he reached them, and all but Tara were laughing. Tara was a little frightened. Xander ran up to her, and whirled her around so he could see the dorm entrance.
"It's okay, Tara," he said, panting. "That one was a me and Will thing. I'm completely fine with this. Better than fine. If half what she says about you is right, and it probably is, she's a pretty good judge of character, then you guys are going to be great."
Tara smiled timidly, and he leaned up to whisper in her ear. "And it'll be good to finally have somebody to tell embarrassing stories about her with. Me and Oz never really did that kind of thing."
He pulled away, and the smile got even larger. Faith, Buffy and Riley watched as Willow all but exploded from the front door of the building with a plastic sword in hand. She wasn't yelling, obviously conserving energy for more speed. Xander's eyes flicked up to see her, but ignored her for the moment.
"There's a bunch of stuff I can't wait to tell you, that will just embarrass the hell out of her," he said. "But some things you should know going in." Willow was over half way to the group at that point, so he pressed on, but timed his words with extreme care. "For instance, were you aware of her psychotic rages?"
With that, he let go of Tara, turned tail and ran for his life, the plastic sword swishing its way through the spot where he had been standing mere moments before. Xander was whooping, laughing maniacally, leading her all around the quad area, keeping her close but never quite letting her catch up.
Everyone in the area was watching, cheering one or the other on. The sides were split pretty much along gender lines. Faith was rolling on the ground, laughing, and Riley was leaning against the tree.
"He is a complete and utter lunatic, God love him," Buffy said.
"D-does this happen often?" Tara asked.
"It's not that uncommon," Buffy said. "Though this is the first time she's gone after him with a weapon. Except for the time she chased him with an axe, but that was totally not her fault."
"First time I've seen him jump out a window," Riley said.
"You get used to that, after a while," said Buffy. "Willow must be extra mad to have stopped for the sword, though." She went over next to Tara. "I'm going to tell you the same thing Oz told me," she said. "Think of it as cute. It helps."
"Cute," Tara said, as if trying it on for size. "Okay."
Buffy smiled, then looked mischievously at Riley.
"What?" he asked.
She shot her eyes up to right above his head. He looked up and smiled. Reaching up, Riley pulled a dead branch from the tree, kneeled and presented it to Buffy like a sword.
"Thank you," she said.
As Xander and Willow came back around the quad, Buffy took aim, then tossed it into Xander's path. He was busy looking over his shoulder, taunting Willow, so didn't notice. The branch tangled in his legs and drove him face first into the ground.
Willow grinned and leapt on top of him, smacking him over the head with the sword, all the while yelling about his male pigheadedness.
By this time, Faith was having trouble breathing, and Riley too was starting to turn red.
"You help her out?" Tara asked Buffy.
"Not usually," said Buffy. "But he probably deserved it."
Tara smiled and turned back to watch Xander getting pummeled.
* * * * *
"You failed," Maggie Walsh said as she walked around her office.
"No," said the voice from the speaker. "Failed indicates a cessation of attempts. I have merely yet to succeed."
"Well, get it done soon!" Walsh yelled. She sat at her desk. "She's taking him away from me."
She looked down at her monitor. It showed Riley, in bed, with Faith curled up next to him.
"You can't have him," she whispered to the picture.
"She won't."
----------
End Chapter 5
______________________________________________
"Willow leave?" Xander asked when Buffy came back into the store.
"Yup," Buffy said. "She had some things to take care of."
Xander nodded. "So, Giles," he said. "What's the word on the demons? Big, continual threat thingy, or random Hellmouthy-ness?"
"Um, neither, actually. They seem to be hunters. These demons grow up in a culture where hunting brings honor."
"Sort of like the Predator," Xander said.
"The what?"
"Movie," Xander said. "Never mind. Oh, did I tell you that Faith said they claimed they were ordered to kill her?"
"No," Giles said, "but it makes little difference. They travel in groups of three, and do have some basic forms of telepathy. Each group is given a target, or target type, by the leader of the clan, clans usually consisting of about thirty of these demons, and hunts only them. I don't think that they'll be a further problem."
"Good," said Buffy.
"Still," Giles said. "I do think you should be particularly careful on patrols in the next few days. Perhaps take more than just stakes?"
"Swords and axes then, sounds like fun."
"Yes, good," Giles said.
The door jingled again as Faith and Riley walked in, hand in hand.
"Damn," Faith said. "Red is wicked excited."
"You talked to her?" Xander asked.
"Oh yeah, ran into her on the way here. She serious about that?"
"She seemed like it, when she was here," Buffy said.
"Wicked," Faith said, smiling.
"Okay, somebody gonna fill me in?" Xander asked.
"Oh," Buffy said. "That's, uh, really the kind of thing Willow should tell you on her own."
"Oh," Xander said, a little disappointed.
"I'm sure she'll tell you," said Riley. "She said she talked to Buffy, and was just really excited when she bumped into us."
"And that was literally," said Faith. "Ran around the corner and right into us. Girl was way psyched."
That did little to comfort Xander. Buffy gave him a kiss. "She'll tell you," she said. "She probably just has to work a thing or two out first."
Xander nodded. "Okay."
"All right," Giles said. "Buffy, Faith, if the two of you would patrol tonight, I would. . ."
The door jingled.
"Can I help you?" Giles asked.
"Sure, I'm looking for Buffy and company," said the voice.
"PIKE!" yelled Dawn, shooting from her seat and jumping on the man.
"Hey, munchkin," Pike said, messing with Dawn's hair. "How ya been, kid?"
"I'm not a kid anymore," she said.
"That's right, the big one-three. How's that working out for you?"
"I've had better years," Dawn said, seriously.
Pike chuckled. "You always were a little precocious."
"No, I wasn't," she protested.
"Giles, Riley, this is Pike," Buffy said. "He's the one who shot the demon last night."
"Nice to meet you," Giles said, giving him a once over.
"Hi," Riley said, extending a hand, which Pike shook. "Faith told me about the demon. What kind of ammo do you use?"
"Just regular armor piercing rounds," Pike said. "That'll get through most of your tough demon hides."
Dawn edged her way over to Xander. "Am I precocious?" she whispered.
"I'll be sure to tell you once I find out what that means," he answered back.
"Where do you get your munitions?" Riley asked.
"I know a guy in Los Angeles who does special orders for me. He's knows what goes bump in the night, gives me a real good deal."
Riley nodded. "Well, Faith said you saved Xander's life. So thanks for that."
"It's in the job description, although I have a feeling that girl of yours could have done just as good a job."
"All the same, thanks."
"Hey, shouldn't I be saying that?" Xander asked.
"Yes," Giles said. "If you had manners."
Giles moved out from behind the counter. "I understand you've been hunting demons for some time?"
"Yeah, about as long as Buffy here," Pike said.
Faith went and checked the register tapes for the day, then snickered.
"I've been wandering all over," he said, "picking things up here and there, doing occasional jobs for money."
"That where you learned to shoot?" Buffy asked.
Pike smirked. "No. I saved a priestess's daughter from some vamps. As repayment, she gave me this amulet," he said, holding up a jeweled necklace, "and upgraded my eye as well. Also, her daughter had a mouth like a Hoover."
"Pike!" yelled Buffy, eyes wide and nodding at Dawn.
Dawn rolled her eyes.
"What do you mean, upgraded your eye?" Xander asked.
"Oh, she did a spell on me. I have perfect aim."
"How perfect?" Giles asked.
"Perfect. I can hit flea at 150 yards in gale force winds. I know, too, I was in South Carolina last hurricane season. I can even hit somebody behind me if it's an LOD sitch."
"LOD?" Xander asked.
"Life or death," Pike explained.
"What's the jewelry for?" asked Faith.
"Oh, it kind of heals me faster. Nothing extreme, like your boy over there," he said, indicating Xander. "Broken bones take like four weeks instead of six." Pike shrugged. "It's cool."
"So what exactly was it that brought you here, Pike?" Buffy asked. "Not that I'm not happy to see you."
"Well, there's a couple reasons I'm here. One was to see my Summers girls. Another reason was, as I said, I hooked up with a guy who used to do business in these parts. We heard a rumor about something big going down here, so we came."
"Rumor? What rumor?" Riley asked.
"I don't know," Pike said. "Nothing specific. But a bunch of demons are gettin' the hell outta Dodge. Scared of something called 314. Any of you know what that means?"
Everybody indicated their ignorance.
"Damn," he said. "I was hoping you guys would know."
"Who are you working with?" Xander asked.
Pike smiled. "You don't want to know. Trust me."
* * * * *
The door opened.
"Oh," said Tara. "H-hi. Come in."
Willow walked into the room. "Hi," she said. "Okay, so, I've been thinking about last night, about what happened."
"I-I'm sorry," Tara said, turning away from Willow. "I d-didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"No!" Willow said. "Don't say that. I mean, okay, yeah, I was a little surprised and I don't think I was quite ready for it, but I was a lot less surprised than I would have thought I would be. And, I think, maybe, that it might be something I might. . . enjoy trying again. Some time soon."
Tara turned back to her. "You mean. . .?" she asked.
Willow smiled warmly at her, and they hugged.
"W-would it be too soon to tell you that I think I'm f-falling in love with you?" Tara asked.
Willow pulled back from the hug and looked Tara straight in the eyes.
"Only if it would be too early for me to say the same thing."
Tara smiled, then leaned in and gave Willow a soft but intense kiss. She flicked her eyes up to the door and it swung closed.
* * * * *
They stood gathered around an oak tree the next day. Xander was nervous.
"Just go, you pansy," Faith said.
"Give him time," said Riley. "After all, it's not everyday your best friend since you were five calls you, says she has huge news, won't elaborate, and then nervously asks you to meet her at her dorm room, outside of which your closest friends, who already know the news, have all gathered to give said best friend moral support."
Xander glared at the soldier. "Thank you," he said sarcastically. "That was just the confidence booster I needed."
"Always glad to help," Riley said, smugly.
"Hey," Buffy said, gently taking his hand. "It'll be okay."
Xander nodded, took a deep breath and walked towards the dorm.
"I give him two minutes," Faith said once Xander was out of hearing distance.
"Four," said Riley.
"Guys!" Buffy said, scoldingly. "No way is it less than five."
"Five bucks?" Faith asked.
Buffy scoffed. "I'm in college and have no job," she said. "Try two."
"Two it is."
* * * * *
Xander walked up the stairs to the third floor of Stephenson Hall.
"Oh, hey Tara," he said as he saw the girl walking down the corridor.
"Oh, h-hi Xander," Tara said. "Are you going to see Willow?"
"That's where I'm headed now. You just come from there?"
Tara nodded.
"Any chance I can get a hint on this big news?"
Tara smiled and shook her head.
"Ahh, all right," he said. "You going to wait under the oak tree too?"
"Y-yes."
"Okay, well, I guess I'll see you later, then."
Tara waved shyly and walked off.
'Cute girl,' Xander thought. 'She's gonna make some guy real happy someday.'
Xander walked up to Willow's dorm and knocked.
"Come in!" Willow called from the other side.
Xander walked into the room and was immediately embraced by a seemingly giddy Willow.
"Hi," she said from somewhere in his chest.
"Hi yourself," he replied, returning the hug.
Willow finally released him and took a step back, then looked out the open window.
"What was that all about?" Xander asked as Willow waved to the rest of the gang.
"Oh," she said, turning back around. "It's just been a while since I had a Xander-hug, and I missed them, that's all."
"Well, I'm always happy to oblige," Xander said. "So, what's up? What's this big important news you needed to tell me?"
Willow smiled and motioned for him to sit down. He sat on what had been Buffy's bed. Willow started to pace for a bit.
"Okay," she said, sitting down after a minute. "What do you think about Tara?"
Xander was a little surprised by the question, but he played along.
"Um, well, I don't really know her that well," he said. "Just really from the few times you've brought her to hang out, but she seems really nice. Cute as a button, too. Actually, I ran into her in the hall and was just thinking she'd make some guy real happy someday."
Willow smiled, then inspected her feet.
"Willow?" Xander asked.
Getting no response, he dropped to his knees in front of her and lifted her head to look into her eyes. "Hey," he said. "You can tell me anything. You know that."
Willow looked at him, then smiled and took a deep breath.
"What if," she started. "What if that guy. . . the one that Tara made happy? What if he was. . . me?"
"Will, what? Unless you've had some major surgery you're not-" he stopped, the implication of what she said hitting him. "Oh," he said. "Oh. . . ohhhhhh! Really?"
Willow nodded nervously.
"So?" she asked.
"Well," he said, "it's certainly not what I expected, but if it's what you want, then great!"
"So, you're not freaked or anything?" she asked.
"Willow, no," he said, sitting next to her. "Of course not. I just want you to be happy, and if Tara can do that, then great. And I would love to get to know her better."
"You should," Willow gushed. "She's so nice and sweet and cute and great and she's just wonderful, Xander."
Xander grinned. "I'm sure I'll love her."
"Good," Willow said. "Because I do."
"Yeah?" he asked.
She nodded emphatically.
"Cool," he said. "But there are a few, uh, administrative details we have to take care of before this relationship can have the Best-Friend Seal of Approval ."
"Well," Willow said, "I wouldn't want to go ahead without that."
"Okay," Xander said, standing and pacing. "I just need to check her credentials first. Let me see. . . okay, so she's not a werewolf, right?"
"No," Willow said. "But you know I don't hold anything against Oz. You shouldn't either."
"I don't," he said. "I just wish that had. . . well, ended differently."
"Me too," Willow said.
"Okay! On with the certification. She's not a demon robot?"
"Xander! No, she's not a demon robot."
"Okay. And the final credential to make sure she's good enough for my Wills. Is she or is she not your supposed best friend who was dumb as a post for YEARS before noticing you at the most inopportune moment?"
"Xander, a post would have noticed me way before you ever did," she said smiling. "But there's nothing supposed about it. You are my best friend, and you always have been."
She stood up and gave him a big hug, which he returned in kind.
"Okay," he said after she had sat back down. "Well, then, there's just the one technical matter we have to clear up before you can move on with this."
'Technical matter?" she asked. "What do you mean?"
"Well," Xander said, looking around the room thoughtfully. "Where exactly are you going to set up the cameras?"
* * * * *
Across the campus, heads turned towards the sound of a shriek of outrage that echoed out from the third floor of Stephenson Hall. Precisely three people knew what was going on.
"I win," Buffy said. "Seven minutes, pay up."
Riley laughed as Faith grudgingly handed over two dollars to the blonde slayer. Tara was confused. Before they could explain, Xander rocketed out of the third floor window as though propelled by the base instinct of self- preservation. Which he was. He hit the ground and rolled, hopping to his feet to run as fast as he could.
Willow's head followed him out the window, her face bright red with anger and her arms waving. "ALEXANDER LAVELLE HARRIS, YOU COME BACK HERE AND DIE LIKE A MAN!"
Though her voice was likely heard across the campus, Xander ignored her and sprinted his way over to the group. Everyone was on their feet by the time he reached them, and all but Tara were laughing. Tara was a little frightened. Xander ran up to her, and whirled her around so he could see the dorm entrance.
"It's okay, Tara," he said, panting. "That one was a me and Will thing. I'm completely fine with this. Better than fine. If half what she says about you is right, and it probably is, she's a pretty good judge of character, then you guys are going to be great."
Tara smiled timidly, and he leaned up to whisper in her ear. "And it'll be good to finally have somebody to tell embarrassing stories about her with. Me and Oz never really did that kind of thing."
He pulled away, and the smile got even larger. Faith, Buffy and Riley watched as Willow all but exploded from the front door of the building with a plastic sword in hand. She wasn't yelling, obviously conserving energy for more speed. Xander's eyes flicked up to see her, but ignored her for the moment.
"There's a bunch of stuff I can't wait to tell you, that will just embarrass the hell out of her," he said. "But some things you should know going in." Willow was over half way to the group at that point, so he pressed on, but timed his words with extreme care. "For instance, were you aware of her psychotic rages?"
With that, he let go of Tara, turned tail and ran for his life, the plastic sword swishing its way through the spot where he had been standing mere moments before. Xander was whooping, laughing maniacally, leading her all around the quad area, keeping her close but never quite letting her catch up.
Everyone in the area was watching, cheering one or the other on. The sides were split pretty much along gender lines. Faith was rolling on the ground, laughing, and Riley was leaning against the tree.
"He is a complete and utter lunatic, God love him," Buffy said.
"D-does this happen often?" Tara asked.
"It's not that uncommon," Buffy said. "Though this is the first time she's gone after him with a weapon. Except for the time she chased him with an axe, but that was totally not her fault."
"First time I've seen him jump out a window," Riley said.
"You get used to that, after a while," said Buffy. "Willow must be extra mad to have stopped for the sword, though." She went over next to Tara. "I'm going to tell you the same thing Oz told me," she said. "Think of it as cute. It helps."
"Cute," Tara said, as if trying it on for size. "Okay."
Buffy smiled, then looked mischievously at Riley.
"What?" he asked.
She shot her eyes up to right above his head. He looked up and smiled. Reaching up, Riley pulled a dead branch from the tree, kneeled and presented it to Buffy like a sword.
"Thank you," she said.
As Xander and Willow came back around the quad, Buffy took aim, then tossed it into Xander's path. He was busy looking over his shoulder, taunting Willow, so didn't notice. The branch tangled in his legs and drove him face first into the ground.
Willow grinned and leapt on top of him, smacking him over the head with the sword, all the while yelling about his male pigheadedness.
By this time, Faith was having trouble breathing, and Riley too was starting to turn red.
"You help her out?" Tara asked Buffy.
"Not usually," said Buffy. "But he probably deserved it."
Tara smiled and turned back to watch Xander getting pummeled.
* * * * *
"You failed," Maggie Walsh said as she walked around her office.
"No," said the voice from the speaker. "Failed indicates a cessation of attempts. I have merely yet to succeed."
"Well, get it done soon!" Walsh yelled. She sat at her desk. "She's taking him away from me."
She looked down at her monitor. It showed Riley, in bed, with Faith curled up next to him.
"You can't have him," she whispered to the picture.
"She won't."
----------
End Chapter 5
