Chapter 2: "OOOOOOWWW!! MY LEG!!"

Disclaimer: Heh, again, we don't own but three things: ourselves, the FBI Guys (created by the--

Author: [cough] Not so--

lovely Authress...)

Authress: -_- [intense glare] AHEM!-- and this fic. Anything else used in the fic is owned by rich men/women who are only rich because of capitalism. Yep. [nods] Indefinitely. [sweat drop] Heh.

A/N:

Authress: Ahh... Yes... ^^ I mean, of course we own ourselves; why wouldn't we own ourselves?

Author: -_- And what do you mean YOU created the FBI Guys?! I DID!!

Authress: [sweat drop] Uh... [shifts nervously] I... Gave them "personalities!!"

Author: Which, might I add, aren't in effect quite yet so stop yapping before you give too much away!

Authress: Heh heh heh... R-right. Uhmm... So, anyway... I see, currently, we haven't gotten too much of a response about the whole contest thing. We were serious about that you know!! Or maybe you guys were just too busy laughing... Hee hee

Author: [cocks eyebrow and gives an exasperated sigh]

***

Wolf: [looks behind her] He's following us.

He: You mean Squall?

Wolf: Duh... [stops] Who else would I be referring to?

He: [sarcastically] Oh, I don't know... Maybe one of the FBI dudes?

Wolf: They're guys, not dudes. Being a dude would be a good thing... for them. In fact, calling them dumbasses would be a compliment.

Myself: Well, that's true, but now, what do we do with Squall?

Wolf: Well... See those barrels up there?

He: ... Yeah.

Wolf: And the cliff?

He: [nods slowly]

Wolf: There's three. Also, our only escape.

He: So...?

Wolf: ^^ Guess who's going to test the safety? (A/N: Don't try this at home, folks)

He: [hopefully] You?

Wolf [Anime vein] NO!!

He: Oh... [disappointed]

Wolf: ^^ Squall is.

He: [raises eyebrows] Ooh.

Wolf: Here he comes!

Squall: [catching breath] Hey you guys... Would you happen to know how to get out of here?

Wolf: Well, there is ONE way...

Myself: But it'd be a risk.

Squall: [apprehensively] Yeah... [thinks] What're they going to do to me...?

Myself: Well... You'll have to ride to the bottom of this here cliff.

Squall: Umm... [sweat drop] Heh heh heh...

Wolf: ^^ Have fun! [pushes him to barrels]

Squall: B-but... H-hey, what are you doing?!

Wolf: Come on. Get... in... There!! [cracking sounds are heard from the barrel in which Wolf was stuffing Squall into]

Squall: H-hey! That pinches!! [big pop] OOOOOOWWW!! MY LEG!! YOU DISLOCATED MY HIP!!

Myself: Ah, you'll be just fine...

Wolf: Doug, would you do the countdown?

Myself: Sure, what from?

Wolf: How 'bout... Three?

Myself: Okay, that sounds good. Here we go. [normal countdown style] One... [very quickly] Two, three!! [they push Squall over]

Squall: AAHH!! THIS IS GOING TO REALLY HURT!! [barrel crashes along cliff-face multiple times] OW!! YIPE!! AAAHH!! [loud crash] AAHH!! MY BARREL BROOOOOKE!! [loud splash]

Wolf: [looks over cliff ledge] Oooh! There's a stream down there!

He: [sarcastically] Really...? I couldn't have possibly guessed.

Wolf: ^^ Yes, I'm soo enlightening.

He: [walks up to barrel but then remembers something] O.O They still have my cards!!

Wolf: -_- So...?

He: O.O So!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN "SO?" They're MY CARDS!!

Wolf: -_- [sweat drop] Yeah. Exactly. CARDS. And you can always just get new ones.

He: [pouts, whining] But it wouldn't be the same...

Wolf -_- Doug.

He: [still whining] What?

Wolf: THEY'RE JUST CARDS!! PAPER!! CARD BOARD!!

He: [still whining...] Yeah... But they're MINE... [angrily now] I'm not about to have MY cards stolen by a bunch of dumb asses!!

Wolf: [rolls eyes] Okay, then. How do you propose you do this? You're seventeen. They're twenty something. One of you. Two of them. Who do you think would win?

He: ME of course! Because, naturally, I have the brains.

Wolf: [sweat drop] The Brains vs. Brawns thing again.

He: ^^ Of course! And Brains always win in the long run, and the short run in this case.

Wolf: So, you're going to abandon Squall just for your cards?

He: -_- It was YOUR idea to throw him off the cliff in the first place. Now you're worried about abandoning him? What kind of woman are you?

Wolf: ^^ A Bedell!

He: [sweat drop] I see

Wolf: So, let's go then.

He: I don't need your help. Those guys are complete idiots! I mean, they're probably still looking for that nonexistent candy bar. Which, by the way, you stole my line! I was supposed tell them about the nonexistent candy bar! NOT YOU!!

Wolf: -_- Fine. Would you stop blabbing and go already?

He: ^^ Yes! [leaves]

Wolf: u.u And he leaves me alone with that freak... [climbs in barrel and pitches self over ledge] Oh man... AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! [bumps around a lot] OW! My leg! [more bumps] My back!

He: [from distance] YOU'LL LIVE!!

Wolf: O.O HOW'D YOU HEAR ME?!

He: WE'RE WEARING MICROPHONES, REMEMBER?!

Wolf: Oh yeah... [hits another bump] OOWW!! MY ASS!! [yet another bump] SHIT! MY MIC BROKE!! [loud splash] ^^ [sweat drop] Wee... -_- I'm having soo much fun... [squirms] THIS WATER IS FREEZING!!!!!

He: Hmmm... I can't hear her any more. Her mic must have broken. Oh well. [runs up to FBI Guys, who are still looking for the candy bar] -_- [thinks] I knew they were stupid enough You guys can stop looking for the candy bar now... [sweat drop]

FBI Guy: [looks up] Huh? Oh, it's you. Could you help us out here? We can't seem to find that candy bar for the life of us.

Myself: [sweat drop] Umm...Right guys. You know what? THERE IS NO CANDY BAR!!

FBI Guys: u.u [sniffle] No... candy bar? [start bawling] That wasn't nice... [having temper tantrums] I WANNA CANDY BAR!! GIMME A CANDY BAR!! GIIIMMEEE A CANDY BAAARR!!

Myself: [winks] Okay guys. Just take one of those cady bars. [points to two candy bars on separate strings] There's on for each of you on those strings.

FBI Guys: [stop tantrums] Huh?! OOH!! Candy bars!

Myself: -_- [eyebrow twitches] Tha-that-THAT'S MY LINE!! First you steal my cards and now my line!! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!! RRAAAGH!!

FBI Guys: O.O MEROOOW!! [hiss and jump up onto strings, trying to climb up--] AAAHH!! [--effectively pulling the strings and thus bringing two-no, THREE more people into our world]

Raijin: O.O AAHH!! I'M FALLIN' YA KNOW!!

Fujin: O.O WHAT? [falls on top of FBI Guy as Raijin lands on top of FBI Guy 2 and... Mr. T comes falling on top of Fujin]

Mr. T: How'd Mista T get here foo's? [looks up] O.O OMG foo's! Dere's holes in da sky!!

***

A/N: Okay, end of chapter two. Sorry for the delay to those who have been so patiently waiting... We couldn't find the end of chapter two and chapter three... x.x Heh... I will make this ending note short as my dear brother is not around to poke fun with me... Ah well. Maybe I'll let Squall comment for you... [presents Squall]

Squall: -_- What did you do to me?!

Authress: o.o What do you mean?

Squall: You mutilated me!!

Authress: [sighs] My dear Squall... We did not mutilate you... Just simply stuffed you into a barrel and tossed you over a cliff...

Squall: -_- Yes. Which caused a dislocation in my hip. You don't call that a form of mutilation?

Authress: No, I don't. Anywho, time to end this. Until chapter three! Which will be up much quicker than chapter two!