"Thanks," Faith said as she accepted a sandwich from Xander the next day at
the apartment. "I'm gonna enjoy this. I got so much sleep last night, it's
a crime."
"Well, they make the best subs in town," Xander said as he sat down at the table with Buffy and Faith. "And sleep can indeed induce hunger."
Faith looked around the apartment as Buffy put some groceries away. "This place is homier."
"It's the layer of dust," Xander said. "It says 'somebody lives here, and they don't care.'"
"Oh, did I tell you what Mom said?" Buffy asked.
"What's that?" Xander said.
"Well, I talked to her this morning, and apparently some lady called last night demanding to know, and I quote 'what the hell her daughter was doing with that Harris boy.'"
"I'm 'That Harris boy.' I'm so glad to be related to my parents. What'd your mom say?"
"Told the lady it was none of her business and to stay out of family dealings."
"Your mom's cool, B."
"Oh, and Xander," Buffy said. "You got 2% milk."
Xander paused, unwrapping his sub. "Yeah. . . and?"
"I said skim," said Buffy, as she, too, unwrapped her sub.
"So? 2% isn't a very large difference."
"It's a difference, though."
Xander shrugged and started picking tomatoes off Buffy's sub. "It's low fat."
"But it's not non-fat," Buffy said, taking onions from Xander's sub. "Does low fat sound like non-fat to you?"
"I have to say, it sounds pretty similar. Besides, you're completely ignoring the 98% of the milk I got right."
Faith watched in amusement. "What the hell are you two doing?"
Xander looked at her. "Um. . . arguing about the requisite fat content of our milk?"
"No," said Faith. "The switching ingredients thing. How long has that been going on?"
"I dunno. . . couple months? Buffy likes extra onions on hers, and I like extra tomatoes, so we just get normal subs and switch, that way we don't have to pay extra." Xander shrugged.
Faith wiped off her mouth from a particularly large bite and smiled. "Wow," she said. "Y'all are weird. Riley, too. I have 'em take off most of the crap, but Riley, he likes extra everything, just piles it on there."
"Ah, yes," Xander said smiling. "The mega-pile. I've seen it. It's impressive, and a little intimidating. Anyway, Buffy and I manage to love each other despite our tomato, onion and milk differences."
Buffy smiled up at him, and leaned in to gave him a kiss, which Xander happily returned.
"Ahh, true love," he said. "The ability to kiss ones lover when they have onion breath."
Faith took another bite of her sandwich, then looked up at Xander.
"What?" she asked.
Xander looked confused for a second. "What what?"
"The onion breath thing. What was that?"
"Oh, that's just something my Uncle Rory used to say, whenever I would profess my love for some girl I saw on TV or at the water park. He'd say 'Alex' because he would never call me Xander, 'Alex, you say you love her, but could you kiss her with the stench of onions on her breath? It's not true love until you can.'" Xander shrugged. "He's a character."
Faith looked at Buffy, then back at Xander, then back at Buffy. "You'd kiss him with onion breath?" she asked.
Buffy shrugged. "Yeah, sure. It's not my favorite of the Xander-breaths, but he's worth it."
Xander grinned at her.
Faith smiled, took a bite of her sandwich and downed her soda, then stood. "I gotta go," she said, slipping her shoes on and grabbing her jacket.
"I thought we were going shopping," Buffy said, pouting.
"Some other time, B!" Faith yelled as she ran out the door. "I got a thing to do!"
* * * * *
The door flew open, and almost off its hinges, drawing the attention of all fifty-seven people in the room. Riley, currently lecturing the class in the absence of Professor Walsh, turned his head. "Faith?" he asked.
Faith sprinted into the class and all but tackled Riley, jumping on him and kissing him passionately. The class started cheering. Faith pulled away from Riley and turned to the students. "Class, you're dismissed," she said. A couple of people started packing up their books, but stopped when they realized nobody else was moving.
Riley placed his hand on the small of Faith's back and led her a few feet farther away from the students. "Faith, what's going on?" he asked.
She cocked her head to one side. "You told me to tell you as soon as I figured it out," Faith said.
"As soon as you fig-oh." Riley turned back to the class. "Leave," he said. "Anybody still in the classroom in 2 minutes fails the course."
They waited while the students rushed out of the room.
Riley sat on the desk. "Okay," he said when the last student had left. "What's up?"
Faith paced in front of him. "I was having lunch with the lovebirds, and they were doing this weird thing with their subs, switching ingredients, and then Xan had this story. . . and I don't know. It just kinda up and smacked me in the face. I'm in love with you, Ri."
Riley, in his infinite wisdom, felt there was only one appropriate response, and started giggling. Faith shut him up by capturing his lips with hers.
"Wow," Riley said, still chuckling a little.
"Come on," she said, taking him by the hand. "Joyce and Baby D won't be home for another few hours."
"Hold on," Riley said. He pulled her hand, and turned her back to him, and kissed her hard. "I love you, too."
* * * * *
"Jesus," Xander said that night at the Bronze. "It's like they're making out while they dance."
"They're not even kissing," Buffy said, looking at Faith and Riley on the dance floor.
"Yeah, but look. It's just. . . it's just obscene."
"I guess they are dancing a little close," Willow said.
"A little?" Xander asked. "I can't really tell where he ends and she begins!"
"But that's just cuz they're wearing the same color," said Buffy.
"I-I think it's nice," Tara said.
"Well, yeah," Xander said. "I mean, I do too, they're in love, it's great, but I just know she's gonna out do me in grossing out Giles."
The three women around him shook their heads. The song ended, and Faith and Riley returned to the table.
"Get a room!" Xander teased as they walked up, then quickly started alternating which arm he rubbed after Buffy and Willow smacked him.
"You're just jealous of my girl," Riley said.
"Well, no offense to Faith, but I'm really not," Xander said.
"Bullshit," Riley said with a smile, looking deep into Faith's eyes. "How could anybody not be?"
Willow started to fake gagging herself.
"Yes!" Xander said. "I have a convert to the cause! Who wants a drink?" Tara and Buffy raised their hands and Xander made his way to the bar. The group continued to chit chat for a few minutes until Xander came back with the girls' drinks.
"Well," Faith said, looking at Riley's watch. "I think we're going to, you know, take Xander's advice."
"I gave advice?" Xander asked.
"You told them to get a room," Willow said.
"Later kids," Faith said with a wave.
Buffy watched as Faith and Riley made their exit from the Bronze, smiling as they went. She felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist.
"I think your onion breath story had an effect," Buffy said.
"The wisdom of Uncle Rory strikes again," Xander said as he and Buffy began swaying in time with the music. "And at this point, I'm glad I didn't say anything about the fact that Rory always used to kiss women who smelled of cigarettes, Schnapps, and Doublemeat burgers."
Buffy laughed, her head rocking back and staying pressed against Xander's chest. Xander leaned his head down and whispered in her ear. "Hey baby?" he said.
"Yeah?"
"I got a craving for pancakes."
Buffy laughed at his very typically Xander-ish statement. "Pancake House is still open," she said. "Will, Tara, you guys up for it?"
Willow looked at Tara, who nodded. "We're in," Willow said.
Xander grinned at his girlfriend. "I love it when you indulge my odd cravings."
* * * * *
"Actually, that Christmas was the second time we had seen snow," Xander said after shoveling a good-sized bite of pancakes into his mouth. Tara had been asking about some of the weird things she'd heard about.
"That's right," Willow said. "I forgot. My parents took the three of us, me, Xander and Jesse, to Aspen for a weekend. That was so much fun!"
Xander grinned, and poured some more maple syrup on his pancakes, before taking a big gulp from his glass of milk.
"Xander," Buffy said, scoldingly, "they're practically floating in syrup as it is!"
Xander just grinned, and Willow rolled her eyes. "You haven't got to the best part yet," he said.
"I'm almost afraid to find out," said Buffy.
"S-so what happened in Aspen?" Tara asked.
"Well, we weren't much for the skiing," Willow said. "But sledding provided a good amount of entertainment."
"Oh, no," Xander said. "Dammit, I didn't get this one covered by a pinky swear."
Willow was grinning.
"I sense an embarrassing story," Buffy said. "Tell it, tell it!"
"What are you, four years old?" Xander asked, shaking his head.
"If I was four years old, many of the things we do together would cause you to be charged with felonies."
"Ah, touché," said Xander.
"Are you gonna shut up so I can talk?" Willow asked him impatiently.
"Now what would be the point of that?"
Willow rolled her eyes. "Anyway, so we're in Aspen, and not with the skiing, because we're young, and scared, and we've never been around snow. Instead, we've got the sleds. So we're all having fun, and -"
"Hold on," Xander said. "It's time."
Willow laughed and handed Xander three packs of strawberry jam that were on the table, and slid her plate over to him so he could access her bacon.
"I was wondering why you ordered that," Buffy said.
"Well, I'm not exactly kosher," Willow said, "but I never acquired the taste for bacon. Xander on the other hand. . . "
"Is putting the bacon between his pancakes and squirting jam on top of it. That's disgusting," Buffy said.
Xander grinned, then cut off a bit of his pancake, syrup, jam, butter and bacon sandwich and chomped down happily.
"Oh, I think I'm going to be sick," Buffy said.
"It's great," Xander said, his mouth still full, and leaking a little. "You should try it."
"Not if you paid me," said Buffy
"Will, Tara?"
Willow shook her head, but Tara regarded the plate with interest.
"Come on," Xander said. "You know you want to. . . "
Willow and Buffy watched in awe as Tara took her fork and cut off a small portion of Xander's monstrous creation and took a bite. They were amazed when she swallowed it.
"Well?" Buffy asked.
"It's p-pretty good," Tara said.
Xander grinned triumphantly. "I KNEW I liked you for a reason," he said, pushing the plate to the middle of the table so Tara could share, which she did.
"You don't like her cuz she makes me happy?" Willow asked innocently.
"Please!" Xander said, pointing to the plate with his fork. "Even Jesse never ate this crap."
Willow shook her head. "Anyway. We were all having a great time, but then Jesse and Xander decided they had to be manly and race down the biggest hill they could find. So we find what they think is the perfect hill, and I'm waiting at the bottom to see who wins. So they get ready, and they set off from the top of the hill. They're coming down neck and neck, trading the lead back and forth. They're both hunching over to go faster, and faster, and faster." Buffy and Tara were both leaning in, listening intently to Willow's narrative.
"About fifty feet from the bottom, they both hit a patch of ice and lose control of the sleds. Following their instincts, they pull to the left, away from the road. At about the same time, they manage to right themselves again, regaining control of the sleds, but off course now. They both are headed for an even larger hill that neither of them wants to go down, because they were afraid -- legitimately, I feel -- that they might die. So there they are rocketing towards the next hill and I'm running my little heart out so that if they do go over to the next hill, I'll be able to find them.
"They hit the edge and both go flying. Worried that my two best friends in the whole world might be dead, I force myself to watch. I followed their path, running down the hill as fast as I could, watching them the whole way, until, right as they're about to drop down the *really* big hill, Jesse flies head first into a tree, and then cushions Xander as he then smacks in right behind. I run over, worried that they might be dead. I come upon their bodies, lying limp in the snow, bleeding and bruised, and I'm shaking Xander, and then Jesse, trying to get them to say something, anything. Then somehow, they both start to wake up, and the first thing I hear from both of them, at almost exactly the same time, is 'So did I win?'"
Buffy and Tara started laughing, and Xander was grinning like a fool. "She got so mad," he said. "She started smacking us and yelling at us. It was great."
"All because they wanted to be a couple of macho jerks," Willow said, shaking her head in mock disgust.
"Actually," Xander said, "at that point Jesse had a huge crush on you and wanted my help impressing you. I of course wanted to humiliate him and protect your virtue."
All three girls looked at him. "Okay, mostly I wanted humiliate him," Xander conceded.
"I never knew Jesse had a crush on me," she said.
"Oh, big time," he said, still munching. "For like a year."
"How come he never told me about that?" she asked.
"How come you never told me you liked me?" Xander asked. "He was afraid you'd reject him."
"Oh," Willow said, frowning. "Well, when did he stop?"
Xander laughed. "The next year was seventh grade. Do you remember what happened then?"
Willow furrowed her brows in thought. "No, nothing that would affect anything like that," she said.
Xander laughed some more. "In seventh grade, Cordy got boobs."
"Oh, jeez," Willow said, rolling her eyes.
"Typical males," Buffy said.
"Hey!" Xander said, defensively. "It was a very big thing. *They* were very big things."
That earned him a slap from both Buffy and Willow. Xander munched happily on the remnants of his creation. "I deserved that," he said.
----------
End Chapter 14
"Well, they make the best subs in town," Xander said as he sat down at the table with Buffy and Faith. "And sleep can indeed induce hunger."
Faith looked around the apartment as Buffy put some groceries away. "This place is homier."
"It's the layer of dust," Xander said. "It says 'somebody lives here, and they don't care.'"
"Oh, did I tell you what Mom said?" Buffy asked.
"What's that?" Xander said.
"Well, I talked to her this morning, and apparently some lady called last night demanding to know, and I quote 'what the hell her daughter was doing with that Harris boy.'"
"I'm 'That Harris boy.' I'm so glad to be related to my parents. What'd your mom say?"
"Told the lady it was none of her business and to stay out of family dealings."
"Your mom's cool, B."
"Oh, and Xander," Buffy said. "You got 2% milk."
Xander paused, unwrapping his sub. "Yeah. . . and?"
"I said skim," said Buffy, as she, too, unwrapped her sub.
"So? 2% isn't a very large difference."
"It's a difference, though."
Xander shrugged and started picking tomatoes off Buffy's sub. "It's low fat."
"But it's not non-fat," Buffy said, taking onions from Xander's sub. "Does low fat sound like non-fat to you?"
"I have to say, it sounds pretty similar. Besides, you're completely ignoring the 98% of the milk I got right."
Faith watched in amusement. "What the hell are you two doing?"
Xander looked at her. "Um. . . arguing about the requisite fat content of our milk?"
"No," said Faith. "The switching ingredients thing. How long has that been going on?"
"I dunno. . . couple months? Buffy likes extra onions on hers, and I like extra tomatoes, so we just get normal subs and switch, that way we don't have to pay extra." Xander shrugged.
Faith wiped off her mouth from a particularly large bite and smiled. "Wow," she said. "Y'all are weird. Riley, too. I have 'em take off most of the crap, but Riley, he likes extra everything, just piles it on there."
"Ah, yes," Xander said smiling. "The mega-pile. I've seen it. It's impressive, and a little intimidating. Anyway, Buffy and I manage to love each other despite our tomato, onion and milk differences."
Buffy smiled up at him, and leaned in to gave him a kiss, which Xander happily returned.
"Ahh, true love," he said. "The ability to kiss ones lover when they have onion breath."
Faith took another bite of her sandwich, then looked up at Xander.
"What?" she asked.
Xander looked confused for a second. "What what?"
"The onion breath thing. What was that?"
"Oh, that's just something my Uncle Rory used to say, whenever I would profess my love for some girl I saw on TV or at the water park. He'd say 'Alex' because he would never call me Xander, 'Alex, you say you love her, but could you kiss her with the stench of onions on her breath? It's not true love until you can.'" Xander shrugged. "He's a character."
Faith looked at Buffy, then back at Xander, then back at Buffy. "You'd kiss him with onion breath?" she asked.
Buffy shrugged. "Yeah, sure. It's not my favorite of the Xander-breaths, but he's worth it."
Xander grinned at her.
Faith smiled, took a bite of her sandwich and downed her soda, then stood. "I gotta go," she said, slipping her shoes on and grabbing her jacket.
"I thought we were going shopping," Buffy said, pouting.
"Some other time, B!" Faith yelled as she ran out the door. "I got a thing to do!"
* * * * *
The door flew open, and almost off its hinges, drawing the attention of all fifty-seven people in the room. Riley, currently lecturing the class in the absence of Professor Walsh, turned his head. "Faith?" he asked.
Faith sprinted into the class and all but tackled Riley, jumping on him and kissing him passionately. The class started cheering. Faith pulled away from Riley and turned to the students. "Class, you're dismissed," she said. A couple of people started packing up their books, but stopped when they realized nobody else was moving.
Riley placed his hand on the small of Faith's back and led her a few feet farther away from the students. "Faith, what's going on?" he asked.
She cocked her head to one side. "You told me to tell you as soon as I figured it out," Faith said.
"As soon as you fig-oh." Riley turned back to the class. "Leave," he said. "Anybody still in the classroom in 2 minutes fails the course."
They waited while the students rushed out of the room.
Riley sat on the desk. "Okay," he said when the last student had left. "What's up?"
Faith paced in front of him. "I was having lunch with the lovebirds, and they were doing this weird thing with their subs, switching ingredients, and then Xan had this story. . . and I don't know. It just kinda up and smacked me in the face. I'm in love with you, Ri."
Riley, in his infinite wisdom, felt there was only one appropriate response, and started giggling. Faith shut him up by capturing his lips with hers.
"Wow," Riley said, still chuckling a little.
"Come on," she said, taking him by the hand. "Joyce and Baby D won't be home for another few hours."
"Hold on," Riley said. He pulled her hand, and turned her back to him, and kissed her hard. "I love you, too."
* * * * *
"Jesus," Xander said that night at the Bronze. "It's like they're making out while they dance."
"They're not even kissing," Buffy said, looking at Faith and Riley on the dance floor.
"Yeah, but look. It's just. . . it's just obscene."
"I guess they are dancing a little close," Willow said.
"A little?" Xander asked. "I can't really tell where he ends and she begins!"
"But that's just cuz they're wearing the same color," said Buffy.
"I-I think it's nice," Tara said.
"Well, yeah," Xander said. "I mean, I do too, they're in love, it's great, but I just know she's gonna out do me in grossing out Giles."
The three women around him shook their heads. The song ended, and Faith and Riley returned to the table.
"Get a room!" Xander teased as they walked up, then quickly started alternating which arm he rubbed after Buffy and Willow smacked him.
"You're just jealous of my girl," Riley said.
"Well, no offense to Faith, but I'm really not," Xander said.
"Bullshit," Riley said with a smile, looking deep into Faith's eyes. "How could anybody not be?"
Willow started to fake gagging herself.
"Yes!" Xander said. "I have a convert to the cause! Who wants a drink?" Tara and Buffy raised their hands and Xander made his way to the bar. The group continued to chit chat for a few minutes until Xander came back with the girls' drinks.
"Well," Faith said, looking at Riley's watch. "I think we're going to, you know, take Xander's advice."
"I gave advice?" Xander asked.
"You told them to get a room," Willow said.
"Later kids," Faith said with a wave.
Buffy watched as Faith and Riley made their exit from the Bronze, smiling as they went. She felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist.
"I think your onion breath story had an effect," Buffy said.
"The wisdom of Uncle Rory strikes again," Xander said as he and Buffy began swaying in time with the music. "And at this point, I'm glad I didn't say anything about the fact that Rory always used to kiss women who smelled of cigarettes, Schnapps, and Doublemeat burgers."
Buffy laughed, her head rocking back and staying pressed against Xander's chest. Xander leaned his head down and whispered in her ear. "Hey baby?" he said.
"Yeah?"
"I got a craving for pancakes."
Buffy laughed at his very typically Xander-ish statement. "Pancake House is still open," she said. "Will, Tara, you guys up for it?"
Willow looked at Tara, who nodded. "We're in," Willow said.
Xander grinned at his girlfriend. "I love it when you indulge my odd cravings."
* * * * *
"Actually, that Christmas was the second time we had seen snow," Xander said after shoveling a good-sized bite of pancakes into his mouth. Tara had been asking about some of the weird things she'd heard about.
"That's right," Willow said. "I forgot. My parents took the three of us, me, Xander and Jesse, to Aspen for a weekend. That was so much fun!"
Xander grinned, and poured some more maple syrup on his pancakes, before taking a big gulp from his glass of milk.
"Xander," Buffy said, scoldingly, "they're practically floating in syrup as it is!"
Xander just grinned, and Willow rolled her eyes. "You haven't got to the best part yet," he said.
"I'm almost afraid to find out," said Buffy.
"S-so what happened in Aspen?" Tara asked.
"Well, we weren't much for the skiing," Willow said. "But sledding provided a good amount of entertainment."
"Oh, no," Xander said. "Dammit, I didn't get this one covered by a pinky swear."
Willow was grinning.
"I sense an embarrassing story," Buffy said. "Tell it, tell it!"
"What are you, four years old?" Xander asked, shaking his head.
"If I was four years old, many of the things we do together would cause you to be charged with felonies."
"Ah, touché," said Xander.
"Are you gonna shut up so I can talk?" Willow asked him impatiently.
"Now what would be the point of that?"
Willow rolled her eyes. "Anyway, so we're in Aspen, and not with the skiing, because we're young, and scared, and we've never been around snow. Instead, we've got the sleds. So we're all having fun, and -"
"Hold on," Xander said. "It's time."
Willow laughed and handed Xander three packs of strawberry jam that were on the table, and slid her plate over to him so he could access her bacon.
"I was wondering why you ordered that," Buffy said.
"Well, I'm not exactly kosher," Willow said, "but I never acquired the taste for bacon. Xander on the other hand. . . "
"Is putting the bacon between his pancakes and squirting jam on top of it. That's disgusting," Buffy said.
Xander grinned, then cut off a bit of his pancake, syrup, jam, butter and bacon sandwich and chomped down happily.
"Oh, I think I'm going to be sick," Buffy said.
"It's great," Xander said, his mouth still full, and leaking a little. "You should try it."
"Not if you paid me," said Buffy
"Will, Tara?"
Willow shook her head, but Tara regarded the plate with interest.
"Come on," Xander said. "You know you want to. . . "
Willow and Buffy watched in awe as Tara took her fork and cut off a small portion of Xander's monstrous creation and took a bite. They were amazed when she swallowed it.
"Well?" Buffy asked.
"It's p-pretty good," Tara said.
Xander grinned triumphantly. "I KNEW I liked you for a reason," he said, pushing the plate to the middle of the table so Tara could share, which she did.
"You don't like her cuz she makes me happy?" Willow asked innocently.
"Please!" Xander said, pointing to the plate with his fork. "Even Jesse never ate this crap."
Willow shook her head. "Anyway. We were all having a great time, but then Jesse and Xander decided they had to be manly and race down the biggest hill they could find. So we find what they think is the perfect hill, and I'm waiting at the bottom to see who wins. So they get ready, and they set off from the top of the hill. They're coming down neck and neck, trading the lead back and forth. They're both hunching over to go faster, and faster, and faster." Buffy and Tara were both leaning in, listening intently to Willow's narrative.
"About fifty feet from the bottom, they both hit a patch of ice and lose control of the sleds. Following their instincts, they pull to the left, away from the road. At about the same time, they manage to right themselves again, regaining control of the sleds, but off course now. They both are headed for an even larger hill that neither of them wants to go down, because they were afraid -- legitimately, I feel -- that they might die. So there they are rocketing towards the next hill and I'm running my little heart out so that if they do go over to the next hill, I'll be able to find them.
"They hit the edge and both go flying. Worried that my two best friends in the whole world might be dead, I force myself to watch. I followed their path, running down the hill as fast as I could, watching them the whole way, until, right as they're about to drop down the *really* big hill, Jesse flies head first into a tree, and then cushions Xander as he then smacks in right behind. I run over, worried that they might be dead. I come upon their bodies, lying limp in the snow, bleeding and bruised, and I'm shaking Xander, and then Jesse, trying to get them to say something, anything. Then somehow, they both start to wake up, and the first thing I hear from both of them, at almost exactly the same time, is 'So did I win?'"
Buffy and Tara started laughing, and Xander was grinning like a fool. "She got so mad," he said. "She started smacking us and yelling at us. It was great."
"All because they wanted to be a couple of macho jerks," Willow said, shaking her head in mock disgust.
"Actually," Xander said, "at that point Jesse had a huge crush on you and wanted my help impressing you. I of course wanted to humiliate him and protect your virtue."
All three girls looked at him. "Okay, mostly I wanted humiliate him," Xander conceded.
"I never knew Jesse had a crush on me," she said.
"Oh, big time," he said, still munching. "For like a year."
"How come he never told me about that?" she asked.
"How come you never told me you liked me?" Xander asked. "He was afraid you'd reject him."
"Oh," Willow said, frowning. "Well, when did he stop?"
Xander laughed. "The next year was seventh grade. Do you remember what happened then?"
Willow furrowed her brows in thought. "No, nothing that would affect anything like that," she said.
Xander laughed some more. "In seventh grade, Cordy got boobs."
"Oh, jeez," Willow said, rolling her eyes.
"Typical males," Buffy said.
"Hey!" Xander said, defensively. "It was a very big thing. *They* were very big things."
That earned him a slap from both Buffy and Willow. Xander munched happily on the remnants of his creation. "I deserved that," he said.
----------
End Chapter 14
