So Far Away

You stared at me with intense eyes, determination, desire, you knew from the moment, that we were destined. I wanted you…

I wonder if you recognize
That silence now defines us

You brushed past me, your scent, your beauty, I want it all, I want it for my own.

I touch your arm, I don't want you to leave, you turn as I am drawn into your eyes again, your skin, its so soft, warm, gentle, I step towards you and pull you into my embrace.  You are surprised but you don't fight it, it seems you have wanted this as well.

I wrap my arms around you and you remain silent, no longer fighting it, no longer denying it.  You gently touch my arm and look up at me, you remain unreadable, as always.

I don't know what's going, I don't know what you feel, I don't know what goes on inside your mind.  You pull away from me gently, and suddenly you feel so far away.  You turn and stare at me.  I frown just slightly.

Desperately I try to fight this overwhelming sense

"I have to go." You tell me.  I don't want to believe it, I want what belongs to me.  After that moment, that time, you can no longer deny that its not there. I protest but you are no longer indulging me.

"Hm…you truly are a brat…" there is a hint of joking there, and I cannot help but smile.  I am Atobe, and as I stated before, this is my stage.  But you know I don't give up, I don't back down, and you know this.

I don't show it but I am afraid, I'm afraid of losing, I'm afraid…

That I may never find
The strength to change
How hopeless we've become

We look at each other, in silence, we don't need to speak but somehow, you feel so far away.  We turn and go our separate ways, I wonder if I will truly see you again, I wonder what will happen when we meet again…


We need to find a way to break this silence that's between us

It has been what seems like forever since you left, my life goes on, the world turns and I go on like nothing has happened.  Which is fine with me, there are others, people that will come and go like the passing tides.

But it is when I sleep, in the darkness that you haunt me, you haunt me in my dreams, in my darkest desires. But we are at the same place, the same crossroads, the realm of silence.

I step towards you and grab your wrist, that same soft touch, the same warm feeling, it is all there but you seem so distant, You feel so far away.  You don't respond in the same way.

Every time I speak you don't respond.  I don't want this, I don't want this forbidden love, I don't want this hidden taboo…

I wish that I could find a way
To smash my fist right through these walls
Of ugliness and emptiness
And gently touch your face

This silence, this secret, I want it to vanish, you feel it!  I run through the darkness of my heart, the barriers of my mind, and the endless hallways that have now plagued my soul. 

I need to find a way to break the silence, fight the darkness, and no longer be a slave of the normal…

So I scream your name...

I gasp, my eyes open and I find myself alone…

I am left in the darkness, the silence, but I feel you, the same warmth, the same sent.

Your touch, your breath, your warmth…

But every time that I touch you

And every time that you need me
I feel so far away
And every time that you reach out
You feel me pull away

I wait for you, even now…

But even now…


You feel so far away…

(The lyrics that I have used are from "So Far Away: by: Stabbing Westward and they are the lyrics that inspired me to write the fic.)