More Than Words Can Say

Trish was sitting in her hotel room when she heard a hurried rush of heavy footsteps outside her door. She jumped when Adam entered suddenly, slamming the door shut behind him.

"What the fuck? What are you doing Adam?"

Out of breath, Adam leaned back against the door, holding up a finger in front of his face as he attempted to regain his breath.

"Just...ran...up...twe...phew...twelve flights of stairs...didn't want people...to see, ugh cramp cramp...to see me up here." He finished holding on to his side before collapsing on the bed next to her.

Trish laughed at the amusing sight of Adam attempting to stretch out the stitch in his side. "And...you ran up 12 flights of stairs for...what reason?"

"Had to tell you something." Adam breathed out as the cramp on his side began to lessen.

"Okay? And what would that be?" Trish asked curiously.

"All right...I hope you're ready for this babe..." He paused as he scrutinized her closely, "Chris and Stacey are done. They're totally over."

"What?" Trish's mouth dropped open.

"Yep...no one knows who ended it. I just heard that Chris moved out of their room yesterday when you and I were up in Toronto and Stacey is real upset. She's been holed up in Torrie and Billy's room all day, and Torrie went over to Chris and Stacey's old room to get her some sleeping clothes."

"I just...I can't believe it. I'm shocked...I'm just...I don't even know what to say." Trish began pacing the hotel room, running her fingers through her hair as she tried to consider what this meant. "What...I mean did he say anything to you about this? Why would he...what does this mean?"

Adam shrugged as he sat upon the bed. "I have no idea...but Trish, think about it. He's free. Who cares why or what this means...empirically speaking, he's free and you can go out there tell him your true feelings and it's all good."

"What?! Are you insane? He's on the rebound now...and I can't just tell him." Trish looked at him disparagingly.

"Why not? Look, you've waited forfuckingever to tell him how you feel. Here's the green light babe...take it and go."

"No way. They just broke up. And what about Stacey? Poor thing must be so upset and she's too nice of a person for me to just swoop in there and just go after Chris like that. I can't do that to her." Trish paused in her pacing, "It's not right for me to do anything about this. I should just...I should just...do nothing. I mean..." Trish stopped when a soft knock came on the door.

Adam looked at the door and then looked at Trish questioningly.

Trish frowned slightly and motioned for Adam to go to the bathroom but he shook his head and stayed on the bed.

"Who is it?" She asked.

"It's Stacey. I need to talk to you."

"Oh my God." Trish whispered looking at Adam in horror. "What is she doing here? Holy shit. Does she know?"

"I don't know. Shit..." Adam began but then stopped when Trish pulled him up from the bed roughly and began pushing him towards the bathroom.

"Just a second." Trish yelled, then turned to Adam and whispered roughly, "Stay in there and if you hear her beating me, come out and stop her."

"Wait a sec Trish..." Adam protested but she pushed him inside the bathroom and closed the door.

"Oh god oh god oh god," Trish mumbled nervously before opening the door.

"Hey." Stacey said quietly when Trish finally opened the door.

Trish looked at the red-rimmed eyes and red nose on Stacey's face. It was rare to ever see her this way. She was usually so composed and always perfectly made up.

"Hey you. Umm...are you okay?" Trish asked hesitantly.

"Well...honestly, I'm a mess right now." Stacey said as she walked around Trish and sat down on the bed.

Trish looked at her cautiously and then sat down beside her.

"So..." Trish began nervously.

"Wait Trish." Stacey interrupted, "I just need to say something to you before I lose whatever courage I have." She cleared her throat before continuing, "I'm sure you've heard by now that Chris and I are over." She smiled sadly and shook her head, "Right, me and Chris...like we ever had a chance. Well anyways, umm...I just want you to know that I know about you guys."

"What? Stace...I never..." Trish stuttered nervously.

"No, I mean I know that nothing happened between the two of you while Chris and I were together. You're both good people...and too nice to even consider it I'm sure. But I know that both of you still had feelings for each other."

"What do you mean?" Trish frowned slightly...she couldn't figure out what Stacey was telling her.

"Look, I guess I'm doing a horrible job of explaining this to you. It's not your fault...us breaking up I mean. I guess I always knew on some level that Chris could never really love me." She shrugged wryly, "I just deluded myself into believing that sooner or later he would get over you. I mean it had been so long...but I guess...well I know he wasn't. I really loved him you know." She paused and looked up at Trish.

"I know...I'm...sorry." Trish said softly.

"No. Don't be sorry. I know that you're still in love with him. I guess I should be the one apologizing for trying to get in between you guys. I put myself in a horrible position...knowing that both of you still loved each other...But I just couldn't help myself. Chris is an amazing guy and God, the way that he used to look at you...I wanted that for myself. When you guys first broke up...he was a mess. And I remember thinking that I wanted to make him love me in that same way. I was so happy when he started paying attention to me. I think I always knew that he was only using me to protect himself against you...but I didn't care. Chris liked me and I was willing to have what scraps of feelings he wanted to give." She sniffled and wiped a tear away.

"Stacey..." Trish whispered concernedly.

Stacey breathed in and tried to compose herself, "He told me that I deserved more than what he was giving me. And he was completely honest with me...he said that he was still in love with you, and he didn't want to lie to me anymore. And I know he's right...and I just wanted to come here to tell you not to worry about me. See I know that you love him...and that it was hurting you to see Chris and me together, and I'm sorry that I was selfish and ignored that. I mean we were really good friends before Chris and I got together, and I just threw that away because I wanted to be with him so badly. He does love you and I'm sure he always will. So I think you should tell him."

"Oh Stace...no. I don't want to do that to you. I mean...I do love him. But, this is just too much." Trish rushed her face still a picture of disbelief.

"No, Trish. You have to tell him that you love him. Because he doesn't realize how much you care for him. And he deserves to know that you love him." She stood up from the bed abruptly.

"I'm going to request a leave of absence and maybe get moved to the other show. I don't think I can handle being around him right now. But I really wanted to tell you that you have my blessings as far as getting back together with him. And when you do get him...realize how lucky you are to have a man like him to love you. I can only dream of a guy who loves me half as much as he loves you."

Trish stared at her in amazement.

"You have to tell him," Stacey finally said as she walked towards the door.

"Stace..." Trish began. Stacey paused and turned around and looked at Trish. "Thank you."

"Good luck." Stacey whispered, and walked out the door.

Trish stared after the door still in disbelief. She couldn't even comprehend the sadness and the difficulty that Stacey must have gone through to come to her room and offer her blessings with regards to her relationship with Chris. But if what Stacey had said was true then...maybe...just maybe...she could be with him again.

"Trish?" Adam said as he walked out of the bathroom. She didn't respond, seemingly lost in her thoughts and continued to stare at the door.

"Trish!" He yelled and touched her shoulder.

"What?" She whispered as she was drawn into awareness.

"Are you all right? I couldn't hear a damn thing in there. Stupid thick door. But I didn't hear any breakage so I figured she wasn't kicking your ass."

"I'm...I'm fine. Oh God, Adam. She told me that she knew the whole time that I was in love with him. She wasn't mean or anything..." Trish paused as she stared up at Adam who grabbed her hand when she started to cry, "She said that he...he still loves me. He still loves me."

Adam stared down at her dumbfounded and began patting her shoulders awkwardly.

"Sweetie...why are you crying? This is good news right?"

"I know, I just can't believe it. He loves me...I don't know what to do."

"Well what did she tell you to do?" He asked, grabbing a couple of tissues and handing it to her.

"She told me to tell him. But I just don't know if that's a good idea I mean I'm just not sure. I can't even believe that he really cares. What if she's wrong?" Trish wiped her eyes, "What if now he hates me even more for breaking them up?"

"Trish, Stacey's a really sweet person. She wouldn't tell you something without it being the truth. Honestly, I can't believe she came up here and told you all that. I mean...I guess I underestimated her. But really, I told you I thought he still loved you. You have to tell him now. It's your chance."

"No...not tonight. I need to think about it. Thanks for being so sweet." Trish said when he leaned down and hugged her.

"All right. Just go to bed and consider it okay? But really, you should tell him." Adam said as he walked to the door.

Trish stared after him and stood up from the bed. She rummaged through her suitcase and found an old mix tape that Chris had given her when they were together. It was ragged and old, and she smiled as she read the note that he had scribbled on the cardboard covering inside the plastic container.

Hey Babe. I've been listening to sad monster ballads since you've been
away and I figured if we were both listening to the same music, it'll
just make us closer to each other...or at least in my mind we'd be
listening to the same exact song at the same exact time. And since as
you said, "I'm stuck in the late 80's", I thought a mix tape would be
appropriate and...dare I say it...romantic. I love you and I miss you and
I wish you were here. – Chris

Rummaging further in her suitcase, she found the old beat up Walkman that she had bought in order to listen to the tape all those years ago. As she turned off the light in her bed, she pressed the play button and listened to the muted sounds of the tape turning in the Walkman. He was right...there was romantic element to the mix tape that just couldn't compare to the current burned c.d's. It was harder to make for one thing and she knew that each song was different and that he had painstakingly chosen each one for her...not just downloaded whatever he could find from his computer. She listened to the old songs as she tossed and turned throughout the night. Sleep eluded her...and the conversations of the past rolled through her tired mind. In her minds eyes she could see Chris's face, smiling at her, his eyes a clear blue...so vivid, that she could almost feel the gentle caress of his fingers as they touched her face, the comforting strength of his arms around her. The feel of his lips...so strong and yet so soft at the same time. The soothing whisper of his voice at her ear late at night when he thought she was sleeping...he always told her how much he loved her as she slept. How could she have ever let him go?

She dozed off from time to time, but each time she woke up she would stare up at the dark ceiling and imagine once more every memory that she held onto so desperately in her heart and her mind. When she turned over once more, she looked at the window and saw the red streaks of the sunrise begin to appear in the dark blue sky of the early morning. A song still played in the walkman against her ear and she listened to the strumming of the electric guitar the words so perfectly in tune with the emotions she felt. She felt the slight burn of the tears in her eyes as she listened to the soothing tone of the singer. (Song entitled "More Than Words Can Say" – by Alias – great fucking song...highly recommended by your truly.)

---Here I am at six o'clock in the morning

Still thinking about you

It's still hard, at six o'clock in the morning

To sleep without you---

She kept thinking back to the conversation with Stacey. Could it be possible that Chris really still felt the same way about her? It was her only hope. She couldn't live without him anymore...and now that he was alone again...it would be too hard for her to stay away. And she didn't want to risk him finding someone else...she needed him.

--And I know that it might

Seem too late for love

All I know

I need you now

More than words can say

I need you now

I've got to find a way

I need you now

Before I lose my mind

I need you now---

What could she do to get him back? Even if he did love her, could he once again trust her with his heart. She knew with all her heart, that if she was given one more chance...she would never let him go again. People are right, she thought to herself as she watched the brighter streaks of orange and red begin to appear in the sky, you never really what you have until you lose it. She could not even fathom ever letting go again. She rose from her bed and grabbed a robe. She had to know...she had to know now if he could still love her.

---Here I am, I'm looking out my window

I'm dreaming about you

Can't let you go, at six o'clcok in the morning

I feel you beside me---

Meanwhile, Chris sat in a chair in his hotel room staring outside the window. Funny how his thoughts...should have been about Stacey...but they weren't. They were of a long ago relationship that seemed to consume him even more than he had thought possible. His mind was playing a constant reel of images with Trish. How could something so right, have ended in the horrible way that it did. And why? After all this years...couldn't he let go? It was as if the discovery that the relationship with him and Stacey wasn't what he had with Trish, had let loose feelings that he had locked up inside of him for so long...festering wounds that hadn't healed, and he feared...never would. A copy of an old mix tape he had made for Trish a long time ago played in the stereo. One of his favorite monster ballads...for some reason he had seen it in his house the weekend before and as an afterthought, had packed it in his suitcase. Why had he done that? He remembered reaching for it, remembered the old note that had accompanied the copy that he had sent her. He remembered listening to it when she had been injured, dreaming that she was listening to the same song that he was listening to and dreaming of him. He smiled wryly, it was such a hopelessly romantic thought...but then he had never been really romantic unless it concerned Trish.

---And I know that it might

Seem too late for love

For love Oh, Oh, Oh---

Was it too late for love? Could he be brave and go back to her? Expose his true feelings to her and hope that she felt the same way? He remembered the teary conversation he had with Stacey when he had ended the relationship. She had cried with sadness...not anger. And she had told him that she knew that Trish and him were still in love with each other. Was she right? Did Trish still love him? He had to know.

---I need you now

More than words can say

I need you now

I've got to find a way

I need you now

Before I lose my mind---

He looked up at the clock by his bedside. It was 6'o clock. Too early he supposed to go and find out if the woman he loved still cared for him...but the hammering of his heart....the nervous fluttering of his stomach as he thought back to days when Trish and him had been happy...rendered him to act. He missed the way she used kiss his ear and tangle their hands together as they drove. He missed the way she would somehow...in the middle of the night...always end up on top of him...as if in her sleep she was trying to be as close to him as possible. He missed the way she would wake up earlier than him in the morning and wake him with soft kisses all over his face... He stood up from the chair and walked determinedly to the door. He had to go to her. He couldn't wait another minute. He was shocked when as he reached for the doorknob a quiet knock came to the door. His heart skipped a beat and his breath was caught in his throat. Shaking hands reached for the doorknob...the quiet click of the lock seemed to echo through the room as the song played in the background.

---I need you now

More than words can say

I need you now

Oh I got to hear you say

I need you now

Before I lose my mind

I need you now

I need you now---

"Trish?" He said in shock when he saw her standing in the doorway, wrapped in a robe two sizes to big, holding on to an old broken-down walkman in her shaking hands.

"Chris...I love you." She whispered, brown eyes bright with tears that threatened to slip...clinging on to her lashes.

He stared at her, his blue eyes wide with shock and surprise. He couldn't believe she was here.

"I...I love you too." He finally said as he took a step and pulled her into his arms whispering the same three words over and over again against her lips.

"Oh God...I love you so much Chris." She said again against his chest when he finally released her holding her face between his hands and still a slight look of surprise in his face as he kissed her again.

"Where...where were you going?" Trish asked as an afterthought as she lay in his bed several hours later.

"I needed you." Chris said simply, as he stared down at her beautiful face, his hands playing with her hair.

"I needed you too...and I don't ever want to lose you again." Trish said, her voice muffled as she nuzzled his neck.

"What took you so long?" He asked softly as he kissed her shoulder.

"I don't know...but I've loved you and I've lost you and I never want to lose you again." She whispered her eyes bright with tears once more.

He brushed the tears away from her face with gentle fingers. He leaned down and kissed her softly.

"You never lost me." He said as he reached for her once more.

---I need you now

More than words can say

I need you now

Oh I got to hear you say

I need you now

Before I lose my mind

I need you now

I need you now---

*** well...what did you think? I was going to keep it going but it seemed appropriate to end with this song...and hell once you get those creative juices flowing there's no way to stop it. Hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing this. And does anyone else think that Stacey deserves a story? I loved her in this one...somehow she became this awesome person in my crazy twisted lil' mind...anyone up for some Stacey/ my new fave wrestler John Cena action????