DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Buffy or LOTR characters, their respectable authors do!

RATING: R- rape, sexual situations, language, violence

SUMMARY: Set after series 7 Buffy, during Fellowship- Buffy and Giles are sent to Middle Earth when the vampires and demons find a portal from Sunnydale. Buffy offers her services to Lady Galadriel, and soon starts to feel something for Haldir, but when the Fellowship arrive in Lothlórien, Boromir finds something he wants as much as the Ring.

NOTE: Thanks for reviewing, you loverly people!

CHAPTER NINE: BUFFY AND LEGOLAS Buffy strolled down to the training area to where the hobbits were waiting with Legolas, Gimli, Haldir and Aragorn.

"Hey guys," she said cheerfully. "What's up?"

"The sky," Pippin said.

Buffy laughed setting her sword on a rock and started to stretch. She had cried most of the night, and her muscles now ached. She picked up her sword, to notice the two blonde elves staring.

Oh my God, they're gorgeous, and they're staring at me. Me? Me!

They realised she was staring back and looked away sheepishly.

"Very well," she said moving over to the hobbits. "I take it you've worked on blocking and attacking?"

"We've fought before, we just want to get fitter," Sam said.

"That's easy," she said, "let's go for a run."

"A run?" Pippin asked. "I don't think I want to train anymore."

"It'll be fun," she said reassuringly. "Why don't you just run to the table over there and run back, we'll count that as your warm up."

The hobbits did as she said.

"They like you," Aragorn said.

"I like them," she replied throwing her sword away. "They're so cute and cuddly. Like little puppie dogs."

The group looked at her in confusion.

"Never mind. I'm getting mothering instincts," she mumbled looking around.

"Haldir, perhaps we shall continue our archery competition," Legolas said.

"Yes, we shall, though I would not wish the young lady to watch royalty to lose," Haldir said.

Once male, she thought to herself, always a male. Elf or not.

The hobbits returned and Buffy taught them how to do push-ups. They continued that until the hobbits were dying of hunger. A group of elves approached with a basket of food for them. So they ate lunch while watching the two elves continue to compete.

"What's the prize?" Buffy called over.

"A kiss from a fair maiden," Legolas said as Haldir took his shot.

"And who is this poor fair maiden?"

"We were thinking perhaps you would do us the honour," Haldir said.

Buffy spat out the wine, and coughed.

"Me?" she asked weakly.

The two elves nodded.

This is like a fantasy coming true.

"Sure, why not? Can't hurt, unless you have cooties."

The two elves continued their competition.

"Don't they get bored or tired?" Buffy asked two hours later.

"No, it's an elf thing," Gimli said with disgust. "They're strange beings. Don't care much for them myself."

Buffy laughed as the two elves shook hands and approached the group.

"Well? Who won?" she asked.

I don't care, I want both. Can I have both? I could Legolas on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I could have Haldir on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. And Sunday can be Buffy day.

"It was a tie," Legolas said.

"I don't mind," Buffy said standing up, "you're both equally shaggable- oh my God, I'm sounding like Spike. Damn English!"

The two elves laughed.

"You'll both have to wait for your prizes," she said laughing, "I have a date with Lord Celeborn. Something to do with learning long bow."

"You have a very honourable teacher," Legolas said and kissed her hand. "Perhaps we shall meet this evening."

"I'll find both of you," Buffy said and ran off.

When she was "elf-hearing" safe, she jumped up and down squeeling like a little girl.

She composed herself and ran to Lord Celeborn.

Buffy sat on the log looking over the dark forest- not one stupid vampire.

"Here vampy vampy vampy!" she called out. "Little Red Riding Hood is all alone in the forest, with no one to protect her from such honourable predators." No reply. "I wonder what it would be like to taste the slayer, all alone and vunerable, her tasty neck ready to be taken."

She groaned when there was no reply.

"It is not safe for a vunerable young lady to be out by herself," she heard Legolas say from behind her. She stood up and faced him. "You don't know what stalks the night in these woods."

"That's exactly why I'm here. I'm here to slay them, but company is always good," she said smiling. "I take it you're here for your prize?"

"Yes, but first I wish to learn about your home."

"Welcome to my office, take a seat," she said and they sat on the log. She told him of Dawn, the Key, how they were one in the same, Angel, Spike, and everything she possibly could.

"You have led an amazing life, and I envy." Legolas began.

Buffy leant in and kissed him lightly on the lips and sat back. He looked in surprise at her and smiled. She leant in once again and kissed a little harder, her tongue parting his lips and entering his mouth. She kissed longer and harder as she sat up on her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck, his hands sitting on her waist.

"You taste like honey and wine, so sweet," he said running his hand down his cheek.

"You don't taste too bad yourself," she grinned.

"I must thankyou for your kiss," he said and kissed her. "Now, I think Haldir is longing for his prize."

"Yeah, I bet he is," she said standing up. "Congratulations Prince Legolas of Mirkwood."

"Thankyou," he said and watched her walk off to find Haldir. "May you find peace in the Marchwarden's heart," he said quietly and made his way back to the Fellowship.