Disclaimer: The CCS crew all belong to CLAMP, save Kero-chan. I bought his loyalty with cookies ^_^

A/N: This is the start of something I've been planning for a while, since every story has to start somewhere. It centers around the lasting effects of some of the decisions Clow made in his lifetime, and how they affect Yue and Touya in particular. This will eventually become fairly dark and yes, there will be some original characters, but I promise NO MARY SUES! So don't worry, hang on tight, keep all your limbs inside the car for the duration of the ride, and here we go…

~Prologue~


The snow swirled all around him, settled on him, and his shirt stuck to his back where the sweat was freezing. Touya shifted his backpack uncomfortably and pulled his scarf off, trying to find some happy medium between 'roasting' and 'popsicle'. That was the problem with winter, he thought darkly as he tugged off his gloves. It nothing but extremes out. You had a coat, you were roasting. Take it off, you were an ice cube. His head was hurting again too, which didn't make him any happier; the shooting pains in his temples were coming together and threatening to throw an all-out migraine party. He yawned, then winced in annoyance as the headache-lets tap-danced across his head.

Great, just great! Touya scowled as he looked at his watch. It was already 9:15, which put him a half-hour late to start with, and if he wasted any time hunting for aspirin he might as well kiss his psych grade goodbye. Kazu was a cool TA, but not nearly lax enough to forgive three weeks of shitty attendance. At least he could make it by the end of the hour, if he took the 9:30 bus, and hopefully he could bow and scrape his way out of trouble with his math prof. and get that assignment done by the end of the day. He'd tried to get it done last night, but there was that stupid writing assignment for Rhet and then Sakura's school play, and then that bastardly stat homework which took two whole hours…well, he could get it done. He'd just concentrate on getting by for today, and he'd make sure to set his alarm next time. He'd set TWO alarms. Hell, he'd even set--

A car zagged too close and sprayed him with slush, snapping him out of his semi-comfortable state and stinging his legs with chilled water. He resisted the urge to run screaming at it, and slapped at his pants instead, attempting to flip the icy slush off before it soaked in any further. Eventually, he just gave up and wrapped his scarf around his head again, trying to make up for his frigid legs by overheating his body.

Lousy weather. Lousy world. He kicked a small snowman that was sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, a crude lump of crap-snow that had 'college prank' written all over it. The slushy snowballs snapped off the crude phallus and tumbled into the street, mixing with the salty run-off from the highway. It was mildly disappointing that no one hit it.

He moved to one side as a young woman passed in a hurry, futilely trying to warm her legs by pulling her jacket down over her too-short miniskirt. Ha-ha. 'Freezing your ass off', indeed. Touya stared after her briefly, wondering why on earth a sane human being would wear something that short in winter--

--and just for a moment, there was something more to her, a depth that hadn't been there even a second before; a strange sort of intensity that made her hum like a tuning fork against the everyday static. She was beautiful against the background, wrapped in a burst of energy that set dark hair on fire and made the swing of her hips a seductive dance. Her power called to him sensually, curling around his body and then singing through him, making his mind scream with light and sound and color and taste…

Then it was gone.

For a moment, he just stared stupidly, trying desperately to hold on to that image of perfection. It failed, like it always did: the song drained from his head like water through a sieve, slipping through the cracks and running out of his memory all together. The beauty went with it, rushing out of her form and dissipating instantly, turning her back into a simple secretary with dyed hair and a too-short skirt.

It happened like this, sometimes, when he ran across someone with the power; the soul-deep connection between one mage and another was stronger than anything earthly. Even without magic he could sense it sometimes, in little bursts that made his blood run hot and his soul ache painfully. He'd given it up for Yukito, relinquished a lifetime's worth of magic to save the one he cherished, and yet…

Sometimes he still heard their voices.

But there wasn't time to worry about that now, he reminded himself sternly, pinching the bridge of his nose until the girl and her aura (or lack thereof) faded from his memory altogether. He was late for class, tired as hell, and he didn't have time to be worrying about magical flashbacks. He needed to get to campus, get his homework turned, and get his shit together or this would be an even crappier semester than the last. He turned on his heel and slipped on the ice, but at least he was headed in the right direction again.

In the distance the girl simply kept on walking, her ample hips as steady and rhythmical as a metronome. She paused only briefly before disappearing into a building of granite and chrome at the end of the block, and then passed out of Touya's life forever.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Yuki was waiting at the bus stop for him, like he always was, and for a moment Touya forgot his own troubles. He must have been waiting at least twenty minutes, unless he'd overslept too. They usually took the early bus to campus so Yuki could make his sociology lecture, not the nine-thirty. A twinge of guilt made him hustle, and Touya jogged the last thirty feet to the glass waiting booth.

"Morning, To-ya." Yuki greeted amicably as ever, favoring him with a smile. He was dressed surprisingly lightly in a nylon jacket that didn't look like it would stand up to a strong wind--let alone the howling sleet-rain they'd been getting. Then again, Yuki was never cold.

"You waiting long?" Touya asked breathlessly, ducking into the enclosure. "God, aren't you cold? Ever?"

"Not really. Want a coffee?" Yukito offered, reaching into one of his ubiquitous brown grocery sacks. The can was steaming hot, sending curly tails of mist into the frigid air. To Touya, it was manna from heaven.

"Thanks," Touya said sincerely, and slipped his thumb under the aluminum tab. The can opened with a refreshing crack, waking him up just a little bit more.

"Damn, I love the taste of coffee in the morning." he grinned, and took a swig. The liquid was surprisingly hot, burning his lips painfully. "Shit!" he exclaimed, and jerked the can away from his mouth.

"They got cold, so I went to the 7-11 to zap 'em." Yuki announced, somewhat apologetically. "I think they got too hot."

"Oh." Touya snorted, a little amused. Yuki made it sound like it was his fault the coffee had gotten cold, when Yuki had been the one on time... Then the words sunk in, and Touya did a double-take. "You did WHAT?"

Yukito blinked a couple times before realizing the cause of Touya's outburst. "Oh, well, the owner knows some fire magic." As if this were a normal, everyday occurrence. Touya's surprise must have been visible, because Yukito quickly continued, "I mean, I didn't use the microwave this time. I'm not THAT stupid, you know."

"Oh." Touya sighed weakly. "No, I know you're not. I just didn't…" He shook his head. Going to the 7-11 to get your coffee re-heated by magic… Yukito lived in a very different world, he was starting to find out. It was hard to believe sometimes that he was friends with someone whose knowledge had curious gaps regarding modern conveniences like microwaves, but thought nothing of bending space-time to conjure up dinner… He shook his head and decided to roll with it. It made things easier.

"It's awfully convenient." Yuki continued explaining in a low voice, as if he suddenly had to justify himself. "Otherwise you have to get a pot of hot water and then dunk the cans in it, and then they're all wet and you—"

"Naw, I get it." Touya interrupted, trying to calm his friend down. "Why bother when you've got magic for free, ya? That's what it's there for." Yukito nodded, looking happier. "I just didn't know he was…"

"Yeah, on his mother's side. They didn't use it very much at home, though. He got his aunt to teach him a few things before she moved out to Toyama, that's the only reason he knows anything. We talked about it the other day while I was waiting for you."

Touya shook his head, amazed as always. That was the thing about Yuki. Yuki got to know everybody, even the random people you normally didn't notice without effort. They could be in a restaurant five minutes and he'd already have the waitress's name, her major, and her three pet turtles' names. Double that, if she was magical. They'd practically be attached at the hip in that case, and she'd be willing to ditch work and follow him right out the door. Touya often wondered what it would be like if Yuki were a normal guy. He'd be up to his ears in sorceresses, that's for sure, if he weren't so sweetly oblivious to their interest.

Not that Yuki wasn't normal. Touya mentally kicked himself, praying he never said anything that stupid out loud. Yukito was perfectly normal, it's just that…well, he was more than most people, and leave it at that.

"I wish I knew some heating spells." Yukito said suddenly, and Touya looked over to see his friend staring at another can of Mr. Java. It wasn't steaming any more, and condensation was already building on the side. "All I know is how to make stuff cold. Kinda useless, huh?"

"Hey, that's useful!" Touya protested, purposefully taking a swig of his rapidly cooling beverage. "We're just not drinkin' the right stuff. I bet it's great for soda."

"Yeah." Yukito's pale lips split into one of his heart-stopping smiles, and Touya swallowed hard. If he pressed Yuki's can to his cheeks, he could probably boil it right on the spot. "I think we could do that." Yuki continued, spinning the can between his palms thoughtfully.

'We'…meaning Yue, Touya thought, chugging the rest of his Java in one go. It was disturbing how easy it was to forget about Yue, now that he couldn't see him all the time…like it was just Yuki there, doing all this. But Yuki didn't have magic—or at least, didn't know about it—until sometime last April, and Yue was the reason he didn't know much of anything to begin with. They'd been sealed in some book for the last hundred years, so of course they didn't know how much stamps cost…or where you put the needle to inflate a bike tire…or what happens when you put an aluminum can in a microwave. Little things, like that. Bits and pieces that were missing around the edges, so that the sum-total never quite seemed to work out to a 'regular' person. Yes, Yuki was real, nobody could deny that; it was just that sometimes…

Sometimes…

A blast of cold wind sneaked its way around the plexiglass and bit at his face, putting an effective stop to that thought before it could go anywhere dangerous. Touya was both annoyed and relieved at the same time. Thinking too much about these things was a problem. It didn't do anything but confuse him and upset Yuki, and it wouldn't change their situation at all. They still had to live with it, at the end of the day, and if one ruined microwave was the worst price the Kinomotos had to pay for Yukito's company…so be it.

But damn, that wind was annoying.

"A bit nippy, isn't it?" Yuki observed unhelpfully, watching Touya fumble desperately with his scarf.

"Uh-huh." Touya muttered through his teeth. "I just wish I could figure out whether it's hot or cold out."

Yukito smiled again, a little shyly this time. He stepped closer, so they were just shy of touching, and placed a hand on Touya's elbow. Touya turned to him and swallowed hard, trying to shove his heart back down into his chest. This close, Touya could smell his cologne—light and delicate, not as heavy as the usual Manly Musk. Touya had bought it for Yuki's last birthday.

"I could spell you." Yuki said softly, raising one hand to Touya's arm. "At least you wouldn't need that scarf anymore."

"Really?"

Yukito nodded. "Yeah, it shouldn't be hard. It won't make you warmer, but at least you won't know how cold it feels." He paused for a moment, and his eyes briefly attained that unfocused "talking to Yue" look. His lips moved ever-so-slightly, as if he were actually shaping the words they were thinking to each other. Touya watched, fascinated, as the silent conversation played out, Yuki's supple lips rounding around the syllables he couldn't quite bring himself to voice. He'd sometimes considered learning to read lips, just so he could understand both of them.

Yuki came back in focus and began talking to him again, looking slightly chagrined.

"…And my other half says he's tired of seeing you mess with that scarf all the time. He says it makes you look…now, that isn't very nice!" Yukito scowled and spaced out again. Another brief pause, which seemed to be an argument. "…like you've got a tic or something." Yukito finally sighed.

"Hey!" Touya bristled. "I don't mess with it THAT much!"

Yukito coughed and glanced at his watch.

"I don't! You tell him that—"

They both stopped in unspoken agreement and waited for an old lady and her dog to totter past the bus stop before resuming the argument.

"Here." Yuki said simply before Touya could start again, and pressed a hand to his friend's cheek.

At one time, he probably would have seen the magic circle spreading out beneath Yukito's feet and the swell in his aura; now all Touya was aware of was the faint impression of wings and a soft thrum of power. Cool liquid seemed to spill out of Yuki's fingers and envelop his body, tingling everywhere until eventually the chilly sensation felt comfortable. The wind felt nicer too, like it was suddenly April.

"Just like that...it worked?" he breathed, feeling like an idiot the minute he did. Of course it worked. What had he expected, explosions and fireworks? He opened his eyes, only barely aware that he'd closed them, and—

--and Yuki was blazing like a bonfire. Well, not blazing exactly—humming was more like it, humming a song that he hadn't heard in the eons it had been since he'd last had his talent. The shock of it thudded through his veins and made his headache worse, but not even that was enough to override the wonderful feeling that was Yuki, pressed close against him, and the aura singing around them…

God, he could feel them again. Both of them, together under Yuki's skin. He wasn't sure how it worked, he never had been able to describe it even when he could see it constantly, but there they were, twined around each other like a Mobius strip. If he looked hard enough he could separate them, just for a moment, and Yue's face would superimpose itself over Yukito; then it would dissolve back into ether and Yuki would be Himself enough to send him a soul-deep smile. He did so and Yue was laughing at him, amused at his surprise and willing to risk a smile...

Then the power drained away and he was left with nothing but the wind, tickling pleasantly at his neck.

And he was tired.

Oh lord, he was tired. It was worse than waking up in the morning, it was worse than running a marathon, worse than that time he'd try to stay up three days straight at soccer camp. It was like someone had reached into his spine and unplugged a cork from his neck; all of his energy was draining out onto the ground and leaving his limbs weak and senseless. His knees buckled alarmingly, and he threw a hand out against the frame of the shelter, trying desperately to steady himself.

"Now you'll have to be careful and keep yourself heated." Yuki was saying a thousand miles away, moving in slow motion through thick molasses. "You won't feel cold but you'll probably be cold, if you know what I mean, and you don't want to get frostbite or anything like—"

Touya slumped down on the wooden waiting bench, fighting the urge to flop face-first onto the ground. There was a roaring all around him now, black closing in on the edges of his vision and he couldn't see anything but the tunnel ahead of him; the darkness was growing and he was struggling to keep his eyes open when all he wanted to do was sleep--

"To-ya?"

"Huh?" Touya bolted upright all of a sudden, jerked back into consciousness by the sudden nearness of Yuki's face. Yuki was sitting next to him, shaking his shoulder—when had he moved?

"To-ya?" Yuki was looking at him strangely, and pressed a cool hand to his forehead. "You alright? You look tired."

"'M fine." Touya lied, rubbing his eyes. "I just stayed up too late." Which was also a lie. He'd keeled over at ten last night, on top of his homework. Before setting the damn alarm! He remembered again, still pissed at himself.

Yuki smiled, but his eyes were strained. "You've been tired a lot lately." he said, almost accusingly.

"And I've had a lot of homework, okay?" Touya snapped. Somehow, he resented having Yukito hovering over him. For a moment, he thought he could see Yue again, looking worried as hell under Yukito's frame, and that pissed him off too for some indescribable reason. Dammit, they were always hovering like this…always looking at him like he were some sort of invalid.

"To-ya…"

"Yuki, I'm fine." he said gruffly, and brushed his friend's hand off his shoulder. "Don't worry about it."

"But—"

"Drop it!" he snapped, and turned away.

He stood up as quickly as he thought he could handle, giving Yuki a reassuring smile as he did so. The roaring behind his eyes increased and he forced down a yawn, trapping it behind his lips and sending it out his ears instead. He didn't want Yuki to see him weak anymore, dammit, he thought they were over this. He'd been tired a lot since he first lost his magic, admittedly never this bad, but he still could put up with it. It was Yuki he couldn't put up with, his incessant worrying. Are you sure you're alright, Touya? Have you been feeling okay? I hope you get better soon.

And underneath it all, that silent apology. It was all my fault, To-ya. I didn't mean to steal it from you.

It was a gift. He wanted to snarl every time Yuki looked at him with that stricken expression, the same one he was wearing now. Dammit, just accept it! But it remained a division between them, when it should have been a bridge, and there was nothing he could say or do that would make it better. It was just so…

Frustrating.

Yukito rose to stand beside him, brown eyes shadowed with sadness. "I was just being considerate, you know. You didn't have to snap at me." he said quietly, and Touya realized he was right. As aggravating as the situation was, Yuki didn't mean any harm by his attentiveness.

"I know." Touya said, by way of apology, and reached out to muss his friend's hair. It was something they did often, just to bug the heck out of each other, but Yuki flinched and ducked away. He withdrew his hand slowly, feeling even more like a heel by the minute.

"I've just had a really crappy day, that's all." he sighed. "Didn't mean to take it out on ya."

"Day?" Yukito asked, and a glimmer of his usual cheerfulness surfaced. "It's only nine-thirty."

"Well, a really crappy morning then!" Touya grinned back, glad to see his friend smiling again. "C'mon, let's go." he grunted, thankful that bus was finally moseying up to their stop. The whole goddamn world was out to get him, but it wasn't Yukito's fault. He needed to get his shit together and just forget about girls and their magic, and Yukito's haunting brown eyes.

And above all, he needed to wake up.

~_~_~

He ended up sleeping through the entire bus ride to campus and most of his morning classes too, despite three extra cans of Mr. Java. Yukito followed him to his one o'clock discussion to keep him awake, even though Touya was pretty sure that it meant he was skipping class. He hated it, and would have protested, but somehow he was in no shape to argue with either one of them. Because Yue's presence was there underneath it all, materializing in the form of Yukito's amazingly iron resolve. If he'd actually broken loose and escaped from his lectures (which he was tempted to do anyways during econ), Touya suspected that a certain winged creature would probably come swooping down, tie him up, and drag him back to the lecture by his ears.

The spell wore off at some point later in the day, but neither of them suggested renewing it.


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