Summary: Sebastian attempts to put some distance between himself and Kathryn but it only leads him to trouble...and back to Kathryn.
Chapter 8: Mr. Valmont's Wild Ride
I should have seen this coming. Then again maybe I wasn't really that blind to it. Even three years ago when I first met her outside of Richard Carmichaels sixteenth birthday party I knew she was different. No amount of bullshit or droll little comments about her beauty would persuade her into my bed or any other place she didn't want to go. That alone separated her from all the rest and made her desirable to me.
Desire though is a double edged sword, it truly is a weakness and if you give in to it, it can potentially slice you in half. This is why I knew going to bed with Kathryn would be the death of me. I knew it three years ago when I stood out in the cold sharing a cigarette with her and I sure as well knew it now as I hung off the balcony watching her kiss another man. I knew it would ruin me but I did it all the same. Consider me sliced and diced.
In all fairness to myself however, I wasn't actually hanging off the balcony. No I was simply standing their, calm and collective like, puffing on my fifteenth cigarette of the day, pretending only to be only half interested in the happenings down below. Still I was out there none the less. That fact alone elevated me to a level of patheticness that was foreign to the once suave Valmont. A legend perhaps only in his own mind.
I think if Kathryn was aware of the torment she has been inflicting on me over the past few days she would laugh herself silly. To know the former playboy of the upper east side was recording her every move, slipping into her bedroom at night to watch her sleep, sitting alone in his room at night so lonely for her he sometimes had to resort to jerking off. Worse yet afraid to look her majesty in the eye for fear he might spout out some romantic declaration that neither of them was prepared to handle. Morning, noon and night I was haunted by images of our night together. Images, that when watching her slip her tongue down another man's throat would slowly propel me to go insane.
Then again the more I think about it, the more it occurs to me that Kathryn is aware of all of this. Perhaps it wasn't really I who was avoiding her but rather the other way around. She hadn't really spoken to me outside of the occasional, "tell your mother I won't be at dinner." Never anything more than that. Our once quick banter now diminished to a few boring sentences. Huh, I guess sex really does change things.
They've been making out now for the past ten minutes. Kathryn dressed in a silky red dress, her hair down and whipping in the breeze, has her arms wrapped tightly around Jackson who's crushing her small body up against his gray BMW. I don't think I can hate him any more than I do in that moment. It's not just because he has his hands all over her so much as I've become jealous of him. I hate that he's made me jealous.
Eventually they pull apart and I take the final drag on my cigarette. All this nicotine is starting to make me a little nauseous, so I think that it's a good time to finally do something. As Jackson gets back in his car and drives away, Kathryn comes back inside and after a moment or two I hear the familiar sound of her feels clicking against the marble floor. Knowing she'll pass by any moment I have to decide quickly if I should hide back in the shadows or make my presence known. It's tempting to just stay out on the balcony but I've had enough watching for one evening. It's time to join the game.
I step back into the west wing sitting room just a sliver of a second before Kathryn appears. She doesn't see me at first or if she does she's ignoring me. No I think I was right with my first estimation for she has a secretive smile on her face as she strides across the room. She's off in her own little world but not for long. "How was your date?"
I'll admit not one of my best opening lines but it gets her attention. She stops at the sound of my voice and stands with her back to me a moment before pivoting on her heels. When Kathryn faces me she is calm and collective, and she tells me flatly in a tone that almost makes me believe she's been practicing for this moment. "It was good, great even."
"Great even" I repeat as I purposely avoid her eyes. Instead I casually reach back and stroke my fingers along the piano keys creating the allusion that I'm only somewhat interested in what she has to say. "What could you and my best friend have possibly been doing this evening that was so great?"
"What do you think?" she asks in a teasing tone, that is seductive as much as it is malicious.
My fingers slip from the keys and I have to contain the urge to slam my fist down onto them as hard as I can. Kathryn's baiting me I realize, using the one image that has been haunting me all night to her advantage. The idea that she finally fucked Jackson is one that I'd been trying to ignore for days and yet it was inescapable. Would she jump into his bed as soon as the bet ended? Not necessarily, I told myself and certainly not after we shared that amazing night together. Then again judging by that superior look on her face I was probably wrong.
Yes I was finally staring at her and trying my damnedest to hold back any sort of emotion. "You fucked him?" I spat.
She strides up to me, now smirking and replied "I don't believe that is any of your concern Valmont. Our wager is over and I'm free to do what I please."
"Or whom" I note bitterly. Reaching out I touch her face and let my fingers caress her soft skin. "So how was he baby?" I coo softly. "Was he everything you imagined? Did he make you completely forget our night together?"
As I ask the last question I slowly lean in to kiss her but right before I can she jumps away from me. "Knock it off" Kathryn warns all confidence now gone from her face.
"What's the matter?" I ask stepping towards her. "Afraid you won't be able to stop yourself?"
Her eyes flash dangerously as she's pressed up against one of my mothers plush chairs. "Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast? What happened between us Sebastian was just sex. Meaningless, mediocre, fucking. For you to think it was anything more than that is laughable not to mention pathetic."
Looking away from her I swallow hard before asking "has Jackson told you he loves you?"
"Not yet"
I lift my head and look her in the eye as I sneer "then I guess I'm not the only pathetic one."
Her coldness breaks then and she moves away from me. "Fuck you" Kathryn mutters before charging out of the room.
Watching her leave I realize the time has come for me to let go of this latest fixation. Nothing good will come of it and I certainly won't get what I want. The thing to do was put at much space between Kathryn and myself as possible.
* * * * * *
It's of the common consensus that if you want to forget one woman you sometimes need the assistance of another. It was with that thought I ended up on Charlotte's doorstep. While in New York the movie studio was putting her up at the Waldorf hotel in a nice suite. I had been there a few times but not lately which is why when she opened the door she looked rather surprised to see me. "Mr. Valmont" she purred. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
I leered at her, "can I come in?"
Tilting her head she thought about it only half a second before moving aside, "sure." Closing the door behind me I followed her into the living room. "Would you like a drink?" she called over her shoulder.
"Yeah, great" I muttered distractedly. I took in her shapely form covered only by a silver robe. With the way she looked and moved around the small space I knew I wouldn't have to work at getting hard which was a small relief.
Charlotte handed me a drink and as she rolled an ice cube around in her mouth she asked, "so what are you really doing here Valmont?"
I won't bother you with the specifics of our small talk. Needless to say it was the usual bullshit about her career and our various friends, except of course Jackson. We both carefully avoided the topic of her ex and his new girlfriend. Given that, it didn't take long for us to run out of things to say to one another. It was glaringly apparent why I had come so without further ado we got down to business.
We hadn't made it all the way to the bedroom but rather we started making out on the couch. Pushing Charlotte down onto the sofa I spread her knees apart and we were soon dry humping as we kissed. Not necessarily passionately but more going through the motions until we got to the good part.
Seeing as she really was wearing only that silver robe all I had to do was rip that off while she fumbled to get my pants off. I helped her by shoving them only down to my knees, making sure not to fall off the small couch in the meantime. When at last I finally pushed into her, I began thrusting at an easy pace enjoying the way it felt to be inside her. The two of us worked up to a good rhythm and at that point I had just about pushed all memories of my last sexual encounter out of my head.
Then I made a crucial mistake. Just as I could feel my orgasm fast approaching I bent down and started kissing her neck. As I did so Charlotte's sparking diamond earring caught my attention and suddenly I had a flashback. Fucking Kathryn, being on top of her as she mewed in pleasure much like Charlotte was doing now. I had started kissing her neck when I noticed those same earrings. Suddenly my mind couldn't seem to function separately from the memory. Kissing her skin I groaned, "oh god...Kathryn..."
Somewhere in the back on my mind I heard Charlotte's voice, "what did you say?"
I ignored her though in favor of living in the fantasy. "Kathryn, Kathryn" I called out as my thrusting became more urgent.
"Stop it" Charlotte ordered as she began to squirm underneath me in an attempt to get away. Only at this point there was no stopping me. When she started to try and push me off of her I absentmindedly grabbed her wrists and pinned her to the couch. "Sebastian" she half groaned, half yelled "stop calling me that!"
For some reason even though Charlotte was screaming at me I still had little trouble pretending the girl underneath me was Kathryn. Gripping her wrists even tighter I bit her skin and moaned "I'm close baby...almost there...Kathryn..."
Two more thrusts and I came, buried inside the wrong girl. I collapsed against her heaving chest, feeling empty and sort of cold even though her body was warm. I didn't have much time to contemplate what happened because almost immediately after I came Charlotte sneered "you son of a bitch."
"Charlotte, I'm-"
With more force than I would have expected from this small girl, she pushed me off of her and on to the floor. "Get the fuck out" she ordered.
Lifting myself up I simply nodded at her. Yeah that was probably a good idea.
* * * * * *
BANG!, BANG!, BANG!
"Come on Tuttle open the god damn door!" I yelled pounding on his bedroom door. Seeing as Blaine's parents where once again out of town I wasn't terribly worried about causing a scene and at the moment I didn't really care what or whom Blaine was doing.
He was screwing someone senseless given the moans that were coming from the other side of the door. "Get bent Valmont" he called to me or rather moaned to me.
"Open the fucking door or so help I'll break it down and-"
Before I could finish my threat the door shot open and Blaine appeared wearing only his boxers and a anxious expression. "Wwwwwhhhhhaaaaaaaaatttttt?" he wined
"I need something" I explained.
"I'm not in the mood for vague requests right now Sebastian" he told me gesturing to his erection. "What EXACTLY are you after?"
I rolled my eyes in frustration, "you're a drug dealer. Why else would I be at your door in the middle of the night?"
Nodding his head in understanding Blaine replied, "okay, okay go wait downstairs. I'll get you something but so help me Valmont this is going to cost you extra."
"Whatever" I grumbled already heading down to the living room.
Sitting in the dark I contemplated what I was doing. Generally I wasn't that big on drug use, strictly recreational only. However I was really starting to believe I was losing my mind. I needed something, even if it was chemical, to take my mind away from the mess my life had become. Alcohol just wasn't going to do it.
A few minutes later Blaine came trotting down the stairs still in his boxers. "Valmont?" he called out into the darkened room. "Why are you sitting in the dark."
"Never mind, did you bring it?"
"Yeah" he said turning on a lamp to show me the small clear bag of white powder. "Okay I just got this in, it's coke and it's suppose to be good. Now I haven't tried it out myself but the guy I got it off of warned me do only one line at a time. You take more than that, you'll bouncing off the walls, got it?"
"Right" I replied quickly, grabbing for the baggy.
Blaine held it out of my reach, "where my money?" Reaching into my coat I pulled out a few hundred and handed them to him then grabbed the product from his hand. Smiling down at the money Blaine murmured "pleasure doing business with you."
"Have a nice night" I called over my shoulder as I headed for the door.
"Wait Valmont, um, is something wrong? I mean you don't usually..."
I didn't bother to stop and listen to what he was saying to me. Frankly I was in no mood to talk about anything. I just needed to feel...something else. Getting into my jag I slid the keys into the ignition and then poured a little of the cocaine onto the dashboard. Separating into a few small lines I hesitated only a moment before leaning down to inhale. After the first line by nose began to twitch and burn at the familiar sensation but I wanted more. I wanted much more.
* * * * * *
I think I was starting to realize why my dear Kathryn coveted her nose candy so much now. A few hours after I left Blaine's I was feeling absolutely no pain just this beautiful release. I felt freer than I had all summer or perhaps my entire life. No agonizing over Kathryn or Jackson or my god forsaken parents. No sur-EE!
In fact I felt so good that when I at last arrived home I decided to go find Kathryn and share my wonderful news with her. It took me a little while to find her door, perhaps she had it moved? No I found it and the door opened easily. Pushing it open with both hands I stumbled in and called out into the darkness, "oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh, KKKaaattttthhhhhhrrrrrrryyyynn!!"
At the sound of her name she sprang to wake immediately. "Sebastian?" she called out sounding groggy. "What the hell..."
"Hey baby, get up, get up!" I urged shaking her small form.
Kathryn pushed me off of her "quit shaking me asshole! What's wrong with you? It's four in the god damn morning, what the hell do you think you're doing in my room at this hour?"
"Nothing is wrong with me!" I exclaimed tossing my arms out. "I feel sooooooo amazing, soooooo free and it's all because of you!" I felt so giddy I started to sing the last word as Kathryn gave me the strangest look.
"Sebastian" she called out. "Sebastian...oh god you're on something aren't you?" Crawling to the edge of the bed she grabbed me suddenly by the face, and may I add rather rudely, and stared in my face. Her emerald eyes looking back and forth between my own she demanded "shit, what did you take?"
Reaching into my coat I fished around my pockets and found the now empty plastic baggy. Dangling in front of her face I laughed "all gone. Sorry none left to share."
Kathryn pulled the bag from my hand and I crawled onto her big, comfortable bed. "You took coke didn't you?" she sighed.
"Yep!" I grinned at her like a little boy.
"The whole bag?"
"Yep!" Reaching out I began to play with a strand of her dark hair. "Your hair is so soft."
Pushing my hands away she began snapping her fingers in front of my face. "Hey, pay attention, Sebastian what else did you take?"
Trying to grab her hand I laughed at how serious she looked. Always so serious, she never laughs. When she repeated her question I said "nothing, really. Just a little, itty, bitty bit of vodka."
"Damnit! You stupid fuck" she muttered. Still laughing at her I reached out for her but my hand landed on her breast. Smiling I gave it a squeeze until Kathryn yanked it away. "Knock it off" she ordered slapping my face.
Annoyed with how she was acting I smacked her back. "Ow! Okay that's it get out" she ordered getting off of the bed.
"Pft" I huffed sitting up. "Fine I don't need you! I don't care about you ANYMORE! You hear me, no more!" There she went giving me that strange look again. Shaking my head at her I stormed out of her room, into...the outside?"
"Sebastian" she called after me "what are you doing? Get back inside"
"Stop ordering me around! You're not the boss of me bitch!"
"Shh!" Kathryn whispered "be quiet, someone will hear you."
"I don't care! Do you care Kathryn? Huh, do you care about me?'
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms to her chest, "you're completely out of it. Just come inside and go to bed before you say something you'll regret."
I waved my hand at her and spun around. Looking around I realized for the first time I was outside, how did that happen? It didn't matter, all I cared about was showing Kathryn that she couldn't tell me what to do. I would show her.
Climbing onto a small metal table I used it to step onto the edge of the balcony. I looked up at the night sky and all the twinkling stars and then back down at the street, so far away. "Look how high up we are" I told her.
"Sebastian! Sebastian get down right now before you fall!"
I pivoted around to face her. My Kathryn looked so small as she stood before me, trying to grab my hand. "What would you do if I fell? Would you try to save me?"
"Let's not find out okay? Please just give me your hand and come down. We can go back to my room and lay down."
I leered at her, "can we fuck?"
She smirked "not when you're like this."
Holding my arms out I picked up one of my feet and began to balance. Humming "twinkle, twinkle little star" I asked her, "do you have any coke?"
"Stop it!" she pleaded. "Please I'll give you anything you want just come down from there."
Kathryn reached out and grabbed my arm and before I could protest she pulled me to the ground. That hurt even though I landed on her. She let out a shriek and I grumbled "why did you do that?"
"You're going to get yourself killed!" she hissed pushing me off of her and getting to her feet. "Now stand up and get your ass in the house."
"Okay, okay just stop yelling" I told her as I started to stand up only something must have been wrong with the ground. I couldn't seem to stand, it was too slippery. My hand knocked something over as I tried to stand up and catch my footing. "Just give me a second, I'll be right there."
"Of good god" she sighed grabbing me once again by the arm. "I'm going to kill Blaine for this."
With my arm around her neck I got to my feet and started walking into the room. My vision was starting to get weird but I could smell something nice, like lilacs. Bending my head down I smell her hair. "You smell nice I told her."
Just then I heard something knocking. I thought it in my head until Kathryn hissed, "what now?"
"Kathryn? Baby it's me, open up" Jackson's voice rang out.
"Oh shit!" she whispered dropping me down onto the bed. "Fuck! He can't see you here!"
"Why not? Are you embarrassed by me? Come on let the fucker in! I'll tell him-"
Suddenly Kathryn was kissing me, her mouth pressing eagerly on mine. I moaned in surprise but quickly wrapped my arms around her body, pulling her down on top of me. Breaking away she whispered "be quiet!"
I grinned, even feeling as I did I still knew how to milk a situation for all it was worth. "What do I get if I do?"
"I'll give you a treat" she whispered huskily in my ear. "Just stay in the bed and be quiet, all right?"
"Deal"
Kathryn nodded and quickly scampered to the door. Tilting my head I looked back and saw her open the door, Jackson was on the other side. They were talking softly I couldn't hear them but I did see when he pulled her out into the hall and started to kiss her. Fucker had his hands all over MY Kathryn. Now that I just wouldn't stand for. Already forgetting the promise I made to her I started to get off the bed only...I couldn't seem to make my legs work. Slumping over on my side I watched as she pushed him away laughing. Yeah, now she's laughing.
"You have to leave" she whispered to him. "I need my sleep."
He said something to her and she shook her head, obviously alarmed. "No you can't, Jackson you can't go in his room!"
Huh? Who's room was he going in? Asshole had to get out of my house. I'd kick him out, soon as I could walk.
"You said he wasn't home" he whispered back to her.
"But his parents are and you don't want them to catch you. Please just do it later!" Kathryn pleaded.
They were bickering, fighting over something but I couldn't figure out what. Were they talking about me? I didn't understand and suddenly I didn't feel so good. Groaning I rolled over onto my back, clutching my stomach although that didn't hurt. I felt weird and sleepy but I was desperately trying to figure out what they were discussing.
The bedroom door suddenly closed again and as I looked up I saw Kathryn coming towards me in the dark. Sitting beside me she asked "are you okay?"
"No, not really" I murmured. "What were you and Mr. Stud talking about?"
"Did you hear us?"
"Sort of" I replied closing my eyes. "Where did he want to go?"
Kathryn sighed as she moved over me. "Nowhere, just forget about it. Go to sleep Sebastian"
Reaching out I touched her soft hair and whimpered "sleep with me."
"Okay" she replied, sounding like she was laughing as she said it. Her small body than curled up around mine and she rested her head in the crook of my arm. I liked that, the way she felt laying almost in my arms. That was sort of what I imagined it felt like.
"Sebastian why did you do this?"
I was asleep before I could give her an answer.
* * * * * *
There were some days when it was great to be alive. This was not one of those days. I awoke with my head throbbing so badly that putting a bullet through it seemed a viable option. "Ugh" I groaned rolling myself over. I didn't really know where I was or how I got there and frankly at the moment I didn't much care. All I wanted was for someone to shoot me and put me out of my misery.
"Morning sunshine" came the deadpan voice to my left.
Removing my arm from over my eyes I slowly began trying to open them. It took a little while but when I did I was greeted by the sight of Kathryn kneeling over me. "What the fuck?" I mumbled.
"Indeed" she grumbled.
Having absolutely no memory for the previous night I stared at her rather confused, but she didn't elaborate. Finally I tried to pull myself up to a sitting position, a task that proved rather difficult given my head felt as if it weighted a hundred pounds. "Oh god" I groaned clutching my forehead. "What the hell?"
"Yeah that's what I was wondering at about four a.m. when you came barreling into my room."
"What? Was I...what did I take?"
Running a hand through her hair she sighed "vodka and coke. It wasn't pretty"
I eyed her dubiously, "was it that bad?"
"Well you did threaten to jump off of my balcony while singing "twinkle, twinkle little star" but aside from that..."
"Oh god" I sighed sitting up a little. Actually come to think of it I was rather glad I didn't recall that memory. The last thing I could remember was getting thrown out of Charlotte's for calling her Kathryn. Then...everything else was a bit of a blur.
"Take these, drink this" Kathryn instructed handing me a few aspirin's and a large glass of something green.
"What is this?"
With a knowing smirk she advised me, "don't ask, just drink. It will make you feel better."
Even though whatever it was looked far from appetizing I was willing to digest anything that would help my pounding headache go away. Downing the pills I followed it with a large gulp of the green stuff that tasted very much like raw eggs. Holding it down as best I could I drank most of it and set the cup down. As I did I noticed Kathryn watching me, with a look of amusement. I smiled at her, "thanks."
"You're welcome" she said putting the breakfast tray to the side. "Although you totally don't deserve it."
"How did I end up in your bed?" I asked raising my eyebrows suggestively at her. "Did we...?"
Kathryn snickered "you wish. Believe me Valmont, molesting you was the last thing on my mind last night."
Reaching over I slid my hand over hers, "too bad. That might have been fun."
She rolled her eyes at me then laid down beside me on the bed only facing the opposite way. "You were completely out of it" she explained. "You just needed a place to crash."
"Was that all?"
"Yes"
"Then why won't you look at me?"
"Because I'm tired"
Reaching out I gently caressed her bare arm and her body acted accordingly, shivering just slightly under my touch. When she didn't make a move to stop me I moved my hand down further to her bare leg, moving her slip of a nightgown upwards. Kathryn hand came up to stop me, "don't."
"Are you worried Jackson will find out?" I whispered in her ear. "Or are you afraid you won't be able to stop yourself?"
"I'm in complete control of myself" she snickered. "Unlike some people."
"I'd like to test that theory." Cupping her face I pulled her towards me and kissed her. I was actually rather surprised at how eagerly she received me, then again maybe she was just trying to prove her point. Either way I wasn't about to protest.
Pushing me on my back, Kathryn suddenly straddled me, the silk of her nightgown sliding up to her waist and exposing the fact that she wasn't wearing any underwear. My eyes opened briefly as we continued to kiss and I moved my hand between her legs. Gently I rubbed my fingers against her folds, finding them slick and moist. Then just as I was starting to push inside of her Kathryn pulled away from me and collapsed on her back. "See" she panted "complete control."
"You're afraid" I laughed
Her head resting on the pillow she turned to me and demanded "and you're not?"
"I have nothing to be afraid of Kathryn"
She snickered, "right that's why you've been avoiding me these past few days ever since we...I know you sneak into my room at night too. Why do you do it?"
There really was no simple answer to this question. Well no answer that would not leave her completely freaked out anyway. I needed to say something to her but the only thing I could think of was, "I want you to leave Jackson."
Kathryn let out a sigh of frustration as she sat up, "what is it with the two of you? Look I love him Sebastian and I know you hate him and-"
"It has nothing to do with him" I interrupted her. "I want you Kathryn, I want to be with you. Not just this fooling around shit. I want the real thing."
Her head shot around and she stared at me in surprise. Truth be told I was a little surprised myself that those words came out of my mouth. In my fantasy of how this situation would play out, Kathryn would smile and immediately return the sentiment. In reality however she just scowled at me and said "well it can't happen."
She started to get out of the bed and I grabbed her hand, "well what will it take to make it happen?"
"Nothing" she replied flatly as she yanked her hand away and started to cross the room.
Sitting up I suddenly felt rejuvenized and strangle hopeful at my new mind set. No longer was I going to wallow in the shadows, no from now on I was going to take what I wanted. Before Kathryn could leave I called out to her, "well that's too bad because I'm not giving up?"
"Oh yes you are" she replied icily.
"No" I laughed "I'm not. I want you Kathryn. I want to go out on dates, to the opera and to the park. I want to hold you hand, and take you to the prom." As I said all of this her eyes went wide in surprise but it only made me laugh and continue on. "And that's not all. You're the only woman I want to sleep with and the only-"
"Okay enough" she said charging over to me and placing her finger on my mouth. "Just stop it, because it's never going to happen. I love Jackson and you-you can't change that so don't even bother trying. Now I'm going to get dressed and when I come out you better be gone, understand?"
"Don't worry I'm gone" I told her getting out of the bed. She seemed to let out a sigh of relief that is until I turned around and gave her a brief but hard kiss on the mouth. Pulling away Kathryn looked up at me sort of dazed and I smiled at her. "By the way thanks for saving my life."
With a confident smile I strut out of her room, leaving her breathless and dumbfounded in my wake. Walking over to my room I went straight for my phone. I was tired and in definite need of some sleep but there was something I needed to take care of first, because as I was going on my little rant an idea came to me of how to remove Jackson from the picture permanently.
Flipping through my rolodex I came across a familiar name and grinned. I dialed quickly and waited until a female voice picked up. "Hello?"
"Good afternoon Mrs. Kovac, this is Sebastian Valmont. I'm calling in regards to a mutual friend..."
- to be continued (Please Review)
