Disclaimer: The Matrix belongs to Warner Bros. and the Wachowski brothers.
I don't own Smith or anybody from the film. The other characters may or may
not show up later.
If anything is familiar to you from this or any other movie I don't own it.
I'm just playing with them.
Chapter Thirteen: Need to Know
Smith had been sitting on the chair for almost an hour. He was staring through the window and listening. But not to the sounds from outside. He was listening to Kate's breathing. First it was quite rapid, random and varying. And several quiet sighs interrupted it. But about 30 minutes her breathing became slower, lower and even. From this Smith suspected that she fell asleep. But he didn't want to get up. Not yet. He sat there for a while and when he was sure that she was sleeping he rose to his feet and walked up to the bed. But Kate was a light sleeper and she immediately opened her eyes when Smith took his first step. But she didn't move. Smith cast a shadow on her and the bed. So Kate could see where he was. And he stopped. Then he went round the bed. Kate eyes were open but when she could hear Smith's footsteps again she closed them. Smith reached the other side of the bed and stopped again. His eyes ranged over her stretched body and then he bent down to get a nearer view of her face. He was observing it for a while and then he reached out his hand and with his index finger he put a curl behind her ear. Now he could see her face clearly. His touch sent shivers up and down her spine and all over her body. She just couldn't help herself. It felt so good. And it was just his index finger on her cheek. Smith noticed her reaction and a smile passed over his face. He knew that his touch caused that. But he didn't want to overdo it. He didn't want to uncover that he was just as curious as Kate was and touching her felt just as good as his touch to her. So he stood upright, turned and went out.
Kate was mixed up. The member of the Resistance was fighting against the woman inside of her. Logical arguments against desires.
On the one hand she was disappointed that Smith went out. She wanted him to touch her again but not just her cheek. Everywhere. She wanted to reach out her hand and touch his face. His forehead, his eyebrows, his nose, his cheek, his chin, his lips. Then she wanted to pull him closer and touch these things again but now with her lips. And then she could... but ... NO!
You are not normal. You make a complete fool of yourself Kate Thompson. He doesn't want you. He need you but just because you know something that could save his life. That's all. He doesn't want more. Just your testimony. He doesn't even feel. And he is really dangerous. You mustn't let him close. Closer. He is going to use it against you. It's an absolute cinch! He just causes pain. Nothing but pain, suffer and death. That is why he was created.
But why is it so difficult to accept? And if he doesn't feel anything why did he do this?
He just observes you. For him you are maximum a lab rat and nothing more. Just a LAB RAT! And he is an AGENT. And you can't change him. Nobody and nothing can change him. Never. Never ever. So GET THAT OUT OF YOUR HEAD! GET HIM OUT OF YOUR HEAD before it causes further problems. The sooner the better. It is the only possible way. The only.
Meanwhile Smith was standing outside on the porch. But he didn't want to deal with his so-called relationship with Kate. Not yet. But he had nothing else to do. He was bored. He lost his earpiece in the explosion so he couldn't download information from the H.B.R.C. . And he was angry at himself. He could have been more cautious. But his life was more important than that damned little thing. His life? Yes. It was the first time he had had to worry about his life and be careful not to die or get mortal wounds. He had never had to worry about such things before. If he got mortal wound he jumped into an other body and continue fighting or living just as if nothing had happened. And it was easier. Much easier. When there is no cut to heal, no pain to feel. Pain. Feel. These were new things to him too. He had experienced pain before but not for so long. Maximum 1 or 2 seconds.
And, in addition, he is responsible for an other living creature's life. For a stubborn creature's life. His and her life were at stake. And it was so strange. Or ridiculous? An Agent programmed to kill had to save a human life. What kind of play is it? But it doesn't matter any more. Now both of them have to play to the end. Whatever it is, whatever happens. But Smith didn't want to think about these things any more. Too much thinking always confuses everything. And the more he thinks, the more things he finds illogical or unacceptable even in his own life. And when he answered a question the answer raises further questions and so on. It is so exhausting sometimes. But his task is to find and destroy. Not to think. Agents don't think. They obey the orders of the Mainframe. But why does he think that is not really fair? What kind of thought is it? Smith you should stop thinking otherwise you will be deleted. Providing you managed to solve this case. But if you can't, you will be deleted anyway. So? Now what?
But suddenly an idea came to him. There was a phone booth not far from that house. With it he could make contact with Brown or Jones and order them to come here and bring a usable car and everything else they needed. So he went to the booth. He managed to reach Agent Jones and settle everything. But after he replaced the receiver he didn't go back. He didn't want to. Instead, he decided to take a walk.
After about 1 hour Kate woke up again. She sat up and looked around. But Smith's chair was empty. He was nowhere. She was alone. First she almost believed that everything was just a nightmare. But partly a sweet dream. But her shoulder was still aching. So it wasn't a dream. But it's not real either. OK, it's complicated. She went out to the porch and leaned her elbows on the banister. She was just standing there watching, listening. And suddenly several emotions ambushed her. So many things. Memories of her father, her mother, her childhood. When everything was so perfect. So good. Memories of her previous life. A life that wasn't even real. She didn't even have time to think about them. But now in the quiet darkness she couldn't help herself. Tears gathered in her eyes. She lowered her head and several teardrops run down on her cheek. Why was she crying? She didn't know exactly. There were huge anger and deep sadness in those teardrops. And it helped. Crying always helps. And Smith wasn't there so she could give way to her emotions. But she just thought that Smith wasn't there. She couldn't see him but he was there. Of course he was there. He could hear and see Kate came out. So he turned and started walking towards the house. But for a while he was just watching her. He walked behind her but she couldn't hear him. Then Smith started to speak but in a low, pleasant voice. It sounded almost as a sympathetic, caring friend's voice.
"Is something wrong?"
Kate turned to see him. She hesitated.
"Nothing that can't be fixed with a good brainwash."-said she finally.
Smith could see two beautiful eyes clouded with tears. And she gave him a wistful smile. She was joking. Even when she was sad. Where did he experience the same thing? Yes. It was her father. He could always have fun. Even in the worst situation.
"Why are you crying?"-asked Smith.
"What do you care, Smith? You can't be so bored."-said Kate.
She was suspicious. Why did Smith care about her? For what reason? Perhaps he finds her suffering amusing. And she continued:
"Don't you have anything else to do? For example torture a helpless living creature?"
Smith's face remained expressionless. But he answered:
"Is it necessary for you to insulting me even when I'm trying to be ....kind?"
Kate frowned and rolled her eyes.
"Insulting me won't help."-said Smith.
"Well, if that's true, then I'm really in trouble."-said Kate and then she fell silent.
But Smith didn't leave it at that. He curled his lips and surged his shoulders:
"I'm just curious. That's all."-said he and walk up to her.
Kate looked at him when he stood next to her.
"Curious? Thanks, Smith, but I don't think that you would be the best for being my mental garbage can."
Smith scowled.
"What?"-asked he.
"I don't think you are the right person to whom I can pour out my complaints."
"How do you know? You didn't even give me a chance."
"I know you. That's enough."
They were standing there in silent. But Smith didn't give up. He was staring steadily at Kate. And finally she gave up:
"All right, Smith! What do you want to know? Why do you think I was crying? The life I was trying for is over. The life I had is gone. I lost my father. I thought we would stay together for ever, but I lost him. I am entirely on my own. And I'm feeling sorry for myself. These are great moments for you, right? I hope you satisfied."-said Kate and tears stood in her eyes again.
Smith was silent. He lifted his gaze from her. Then he looked back at her and said:
"I think it was the best for your father."
"What are you talking about? He was successful in his work, in his life. He was healthy. And then Stevenson killed him. Why was it the best?"-asked Kate.
Smith took a deep breath. The moment of truth. But he didn't know how to tell it to her.
"Smith? Smith speak to me! You know something. What happened with my father? I need to know."-said Kate.
Smith looked at her. His face was still blank. Then he started:
"Your father was shot by Agent Stevenson but he didn't die immediately. He was hospitalized and he was operated. But after the operation he lapsed into coma and died in the hospital when I was there to check him."
Kate needed several seconds to digest it. And she became suspicious.
"Did you do something to him?"-asked Kate and she really wanted a 'no'.
"It was me who finally put out the respirator."-said Smith.
Kate was shocked.
"You killed ....killed....my father?"
"I had my own good reasons."
Kate's mood radically changed from sadness to anger and hate.
"What reasons?"
"He didn't want to live on like this. And he asked me in a letter to do it for him."
"And when did you become a humanitarian Agent, Smith? When?-shouted Kate at him. "How could you do this? You had no right to do this! "
"I judged that it was the only logical thing to do."
"Fuck logic, Smith! He was my father. And YOU HAD NO RIGHT!"-shouted Kate but now she almost cried.
Smith took a step closer.
"Calm down! You will wake up the whole neighborhood."
"You just don't calm me, don't approach, don't speak!"-screamed Kate.
She wanted to move away from Smith but she couldn't because of the banister. And Smith was really close now and looked her in the eye. He knew how to manipulate with the personal space and the eyes. And it always worked. So did now. Kate fell silent. She looked at him too.
"Why you?"-whispered her finally.
"Because he trusted me. And you should too."
"Don't think it's so easy! For you, Smith, it's easy. Because for you everything is black and white. (Or green, black and white?) For you there are no limits or boundaries. You aren't bound by your moral precepts or your conscience or your emotions."
"So you think my life is easy?"
"You are on the easy side, Smith."
"My life depends on a human being. Depends on YOU. I think it's everything but not easy. It's a nightmare."-said Smith and leaned closer.
Now he was so close that Kate could feel his breath on her face.
"I'd like you to put some things deep into your mind: First: I didn't let your father suffer. I saved him lots of pain. So you should be grateful. At least. Second: I'm not Dave, Hank or any other human of no significance. So never, never shout at me. Not for any reason. Understood?"-asked Smith as he raised his eyebrows.
Kate stared at him. she was angry, scared, sad. But her anger exceeded her other emotions. She clenched her teeth and said:
"I. Hate. You, Smith."
"Really? Well, I don't think so."-silence- "You are curious about me."
"No!"
"No? Hmmm. You can admit it. There is no disgrace in it."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about."- said Smith.
Now Kate started worrying. Does he suspect something? She hoped not. And she couldn't let him closer. Because if she let him closer, she would loose control. And it was something that she didn't want at all. To show that she could be easily manipulated by her emotions and desires. And she didn't want to increase his already huge ego with uncovering her attraction. So she has to do something. Right here, right now. She suspected that Smith was just observing her behavior. Monitoring her. He was testing her.
'OK, Smith. Analyze this!'-thought Kate and looked at him.
"I don't want to know about it! I don't want to know more about you! You monster! Let me go! And clear off!"-said Kate angrily and pushed Smith aside.
She walked up to the door and turned back:
"And don't dare to set foot in this house!"-said she and shut the door.
Smith was standing on the porch for a while. A grin appeared on his face. He was surprised but not angry. To be honest it was a great fun to tease and pack at her. And he knew that he was right about Kate. Her reactions to his closeness were almost the same. And it was not fear. Humans. So illogical creatures. But he found Kate's reactions....what?....pleasant? Satisfying? He didn't know exactly but it felt good. He was pleased. But it was enough for today. He scanned the porch and found a chair. He pulled it next to the wall and sat down. Then he leaned his head against the wall, closed his eyes and tried something that he had never tried before: relax.
Chapter Thirteen: Need to Know
Smith had been sitting on the chair for almost an hour. He was staring through the window and listening. But not to the sounds from outside. He was listening to Kate's breathing. First it was quite rapid, random and varying. And several quiet sighs interrupted it. But about 30 minutes her breathing became slower, lower and even. From this Smith suspected that she fell asleep. But he didn't want to get up. Not yet. He sat there for a while and when he was sure that she was sleeping he rose to his feet and walked up to the bed. But Kate was a light sleeper and she immediately opened her eyes when Smith took his first step. But she didn't move. Smith cast a shadow on her and the bed. So Kate could see where he was. And he stopped. Then he went round the bed. Kate eyes were open but when she could hear Smith's footsteps again she closed them. Smith reached the other side of the bed and stopped again. His eyes ranged over her stretched body and then he bent down to get a nearer view of her face. He was observing it for a while and then he reached out his hand and with his index finger he put a curl behind her ear. Now he could see her face clearly. His touch sent shivers up and down her spine and all over her body. She just couldn't help herself. It felt so good. And it was just his index finger on her cheek. Smith noticed her reaction and a smile passed over his face. He knew that his touch caused that. But he didn't want to overdo it. He didn't want to uncover that he was just as curious as Kate was and touching her felt just as good as his touch to her. So he stood upright, turned and went out.
Kate was mixed up. The member of the Resistance was fighting against the woman inside of her. Logical arguments against desires.
On the one hand she was disappointed that Smith went out. She wanted him to touch her again but not just her cheek. Everywhere. She wanted to reach out her hand and touch his face. His forehead, his eyebrows, his nose, his cheek, his chin, his lips. Then she wanted to pull him closer and touch these things again but now with her lips. And then she could... but ... NO!
You are not normal. You make a complete fool of yourself Kate Thompson. He doesn't want you. He need you but just because you know something that could save his life. That's all. He doesn't want more. Just your testimony. He doesn't even feel. And he is really dangerous. You mustn't let him close. Closer. He is going to use it against you. It's an absolute cinch! He just causes pain. Nothing but pain, suffer and death. That is why he was created.
But why is it so difficult to accept? And if he doesn't feel anything why did he do this?
He just observes you. For him you are maximum a lab rat and nothing more. Just a LAB RAT! And he is an AGENT. And you can't change him. Nobody and nothing can change him. Never. Never ever. So GET THAT OUT OF YOUR HEAD! GET HIM OUT OF YOUR HEAD before it causes further problems. The sooner the better. It is the only possible way. The only.
Meanwhile Smith was standing outside on the porch. But he didn't want to deal with his so-called relationship with Kate. Not yet. But he had nothing else to do. He was bored. He lost his earpiece in the explosion so he couldn't download information from the H.B.R.C. . And he was angry at himself. He could have been more cautious. But his life was more important than that damned little thing. His life? Yes. It was the first time he had had to worry about his life and be careful not to die or get mortal wounds. He had never had to worry about such things before. If he got mortal wound he jumped into an other body and continue fighting or living just as if nothing had happened. And it was easier. Much easier. When there is no cut to heal, no pain to feel. Pain. Feel. These were new things to him too. He had experienced pain before but not for so long. Maximum 1 or 2 seconds.
And, in addition, he is responsible for an other living creature's life. For a stubborn creature's life. His and her life were at stake. And it was so strange. Or ridiculous? An Agent programmed to kill had to save a human life. What kind of play is it? But it doesn't matter any more. Now both of them have to play to the end. Whatever it is, whatever happens. But Smith didn't want to think about these things any more. Too much thinking always confuses everything. And the more he thinks, the more things he finds illogical or unacceptable even in his own life. And when he answered a question the answer raises further questions and so on. It is so exhausting sometimes. But his task is to find and destroy. Not to think. Agents don't think. They obey the orders of the Mainframe. But why does he think that is not really fair? What kind of thought is it? Smith you should stop thinking otherwise you will be deleted. Providing you managed to solve this case. But if you can't, you will be deleted anyway. So? Now what?
But suddenly an idea came to him. There was a phone booth not far from that house. With it he could make contact with Brown or Jones and order them to come here and bring a usable car and everything else they needed. So he went to the booth. He managed to reach Agent Jones and settle everything. But after he replaced the receiver he didn't go back. He didn't want to. Instead, he decided to take a walk.
After about 1 hour Kate woke up again. She sat up and looked around. But Smith's chair was empty. He was nowhere. She was alone. First she almost believed that everything was just a nightmare. But partly a sweet dream. But her shoulder was still aching. So it wasn't a dream. But it's not real either. OK, it's complicated. She went out to the porch and leaned her elbows on the banister. She was just standing there watching, listening. And suddenly several emotions ambushed her. So many things. Memories of her father, her mother, her childhood. When everything was so perfect. So good. Memories of her previous life. A life that wasn't even real. She didn't even have time to think about them. But now in the quiet darkness she couldn't help herself. Tears gathered in her eyes. She lowered her head and several teardrops run down on her cheek. Why was she crying? She didn't know exactly. There were huge anger and deep sadness in those teardrops. And it helped. Crying always helps. And Smith wasn't there so she could give way to her emotions. But she just thought that Smith wasn't there. She couldn't see him but he was there. Of course he was there. He could hear and see Kate came out. So he turned and started walking towards the house. But for a while he was just watching her. He walked behind her but she couldn't hear him. Then Smith started to speak but in a low, pleasant voice. It sounded almost as a sympathetic, caring friend's voice.
"Is something wrong?"
Kate turned to see him. She hesitated.
"Nothing that can't be fixed with a good brainwash."-said she finally.
Smith could see two beautiful eyes clouded with tears. And she gave him a wistful smile. She was joking. Even when she was sad. Where did he experience the same thing? Yes. It was her father. He could always have fun. Even in the worst situation.
"Why are you crying?"-asked Smith.
"What do you care, Smith? You can't be so bored."-said Kate.
She was suspicious. Why did Smith care about her? For what reason? Perhaps he finds her suffering amusing. And she continued:
"Don't you have anything else to do? For example torture a helpless living creature?"
Smith's face remained expressionless. But he answered:
"Is it necessary for you to insulting me even when I'm trying to be ....kind?"
Kate frowned and rolled her eyes.
"Insulting me won't help."-said Smith.
"Well, if that's true, then I'm really in trouble."-said Kate and then she fell silent.
But Smith didn't leave it at that. He curled his lips and surged his shoulders:
"I'm just curious. That's all."-said he and walk up to her.
Kate looked at him when he stood next to her.
"Curious? Thanks, Smith, but I don't think that you would be the best for being my mental garbage can."
Smith scowled.
"What?"-asked he.
"I don't think you are the right person to whom I can pour out my complaints."
"How do you know? You didn't even give me a chance."
"I know you. That's enough."
They were standing there in silent. But Smith didn't give up. He was staring steadily at Kate. And finally she gave up:
"All right, Smith! What do you want to know? Why do you think I was crying? The life I was trying for is over. The life I had is gone. I lost my father. I thought we would stay together for ever, but I lost him. I am entirely on my own. And I'm feeling sorry for myself. These are great moments for you, right? I hope you satisfied."-said Kate and tears stood in her eyes again.
Smith was silent. He lifted his gaze from her. Then he looked back at her and said:
"I think it was the best for your father."
"What are you talking about? He was successful in his work, in his life. He was healthy. And then Stevenson killed him. Why was it the best?"-asked Kate.
Smith took a deep breath. The moment of truth. But he didn't know how to tell it to her.
"Smith? Smith speak to me! You know something. What happened with my father? I need to know."-said Kate.
Smith looked at her. His face was still blank. Then he started:
"Your father was shot by Agent Stevenson but he didn't die immediately. He was hospitalized and he was operated. But after the operation he lapsed into coma and died in the hospital when I was there to check him."
Kate needed several seconds to digest it. And she became suspicious.
"Did you do something to him?"-asked Kate and she really wanted a 'no'.
"It was me who finally put out the respirator."-said Smith.
Kate was shocked.
"You killed ....killed....my father?"
"I had my own good reasons."
Kate's mood radically changed from sadness to anger and hate.
"What reasons?"
"He didn't want to live on like this. And he asked me in a letter to do it for him."
"And when did you become a humanitarian Agent, Smith? When?-shouted Kate at him. "How could you do this? You had no right to do this! "
"I judged that it was the only logical thing to do."
"Fuck logic, Smith! He was my father. And YOU HAD NO RIGHT!"-shouted Kate but now she almost cried.
Smith took a step closer.
"Calm down! You will wake up the whole neighborhood."
"You just don't calm me, don't approach, don't speak!"-screamed Kate.
She wanted to move away from Smith but she couldn't because of the banister. And Smith was really close now and looked her in the eye. He knew how to manipulate with the personal space and the eyes. And it always worked. So did now. Kate fell silent. She looked at him too.
"Why you?"-whispered her finally.
"Because he trusted me. And you should too."
"Don't think it's so easy! For you, Smith, it's easy. Because for you everything is black and white. (Or green, black and white?) For you there are no limits or boundaries. You aren't bound by your moral precepts or your conscience or your emotions."
"So you think my life is easy?"
"You are on the easy side, Smith."
"My life depends on a human being. Depends on YOU. I think it's everything but not easy. It's a nightmare."-said Smith and leaned closer.
Now he was so close that Kate could feel his breath on her face.
"I'd like you to put some things deep into your mind: First: I didn't let your father suffer. I saved him lots of pain. So you should be grateful. At least. Second: I'm not Dave, Hank or any other human of no significance. So never, never shout at me. Not for any reason. Understood?"-asked Smith as he raised his eyebrows.
Kate stared at him. she was angry, scared, sad. But her anger exceeded her other emotions. She clenched her teeth and said:
"I. Hate. You, Smith."
"Really? Well, I don't think so."-silence- "You are curious about me."
"No!"
"No? Hmmm. You can admit it. There is no disgrace in it."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about."- said Smith.
Now Kate started worrying. Does he suspect something? She hoped not. And she couldn't let him closer. Because if she let him closer, she would loose control. And it was something that she didn't want at all. To show that she could be easily manipulated by her emotions and desires. And she didn't want to increase his already huge ego with uncovering her attraction. So she has to do something. Right here, right now. She suspected that Smith was just observing her behavior. Monitoring her. He was testing her.
'OK, Smith. Analyze this!'-thought Kate and looked at him.
"I don't want to know about it! I don't want to know more about you! You monster! Let me go! And clear off!"-said Kate angrily and pushed Smith aside.
She walked up to the door and turned back:
"And don't dare to set foot in this house!"-said she and shut the door.
Smith was standing on the porch for a while. A grin appeared on his face. He was surprised but not angry. To be honest it was a great fun to tease and pack at her. And he knew that he was right about Kate. Her reactions to his closeness were almost the same. And it was not fear. Humans. So illogical creatures. But he found Kate's reactions....what?....pleasant? Satisfying? He didn't know exactly but it felt good. He was pleased. But it was enough for today. He scanned the porch and found a chair. He pulled it next to the wall and sat down. Then he leaned his head against the wall, closed his eyes and tried something that he had never tried before: relax.
