Summary: Sebastian finally learns the whole truth about Kathryn's past with Jackson. When the dust eventually settles nothing will be the same.
Authors Note: Sorry for the lack of updates but I've been having massive computer problems along with other life issues so I haven't had time to write. Hopefully I'll get the final chapter of Who Are You up this weekend and also an update for Cruel Intentions: The Serial. Please read and review!
Chapter 13: So Much For the Afterglow
"What's the matter Valmont, cat got your tongue?" Chuckling Jackson turned around and picked up an older, framed picture of Kathryn. "Or perhaps just your balls?"
I couldn't understand what he was saying. It didn't make any sense. There was no way he could know about our bet. He had to be lying. As I watched him standing mere feet away, gazing at a picture of MY fiancee with this smug satisfied smile on his face I knew I wanted to kill him. Years of resentment combined with the fact that he was now trying to destroy the one thing that ever brought me any happiness and love, made me leap at him. I grabbed at his throat and started to squeeze. "You're a fucking liar" I snarled as we crashed back against the arm chair.
Jackson coughed and struggled away. "I knew you couldn't handle the truth."
I attempted to squeeze him even harder but even half drunk Jackson was stronger than me. As he pushed me up against the back wall I lost my grip and let go of him. He might have tried to hit me but he was too busy catching his breath. "I knew...I knew all along about your bet with Kathryn. You want to know how? Come on loser" he taunted "ask me how?"
"Shut up" I snarled back determined to not pay the slightest bit of worry to what he was saying. "I don't believe a single word out of your mouth."
Taking a step towards him I was about to finish what I started earlier when the bedroom door swung open. Kathryn came in a look of annoyance of her face. "Hey you can't hide in here forever. If I have to make nice with those assholes so do you."
Jackson who had been standing unseen behind her snickered and suggested "or better yet why don't you ask Kathryn how I know."
She spun around at the sound of her ex's voice. "What the hell are you still doing here?" she demanded angrily. "I thought I had you thrown out."
"Oh yes you did" Jack spat. "You had mommy's big bad security men clean up your mess for you as per usual. Only this time you're not going to be able to rid yourself of this mistake so easily princess. Now I was just about to fill in Valmont about your dirty little secret. The one you were trying so hard to-"
"Shut your fucking mouth!" she screamed. "You have till the count of three to get out of here or else I'm calling the police."
"Go ahead" he chuckled "it won't stop me from getting the truth out." Kathryn turned on her heels and opened the door. She stuck out her head and started to yell when Jackson told her "I was just letting our good friend Sebastian in on how you've been playing him all along. Of course he thinks I'm lying. Poor boy in so head over ass in love with you he's letting his normally good instincts fall to the way side."
Kathryn slowly turned around and her eyes met mine. Right away I recognized this look of fear pass through them. It was the same look I saw than night she came to me and begged me for forgiveness. It was a look I wouldn't forget as long as I live. However I couldn't tell if she was scared because she feared the truth coming out or if it was just the possibility that Jackson's lie would damage her in my eyes. I refused to believe she had been lying to me all these years. It just wasn't possible.
Shaking her head slowly Kathryn told me "he's lying. He's just trying to ruin what we have."
"Am I?" Jackson taunted her. "Sebastian why don't you ask her about the big secret she's keeping from you. You know the one she promised to tell you about later. Come on Valmont you use to be smarter than this. You know she's keeping something from you. Ask her."
Right then Kathryn flinched and I swear to god my heart stopped. He was telling the truth. The scum sucking low life was telling me the truth. I stumbled back and shook my head at her too shocked and dumb founded to strike out at her just then. Kathryn strode up to me, and gripped my hands. She was shaking, Kathryn never shook. "Please" she pleaded with me. "Just forget about him. Let's just forget he ever came here tonight."
Jackson snorted "I don't really see that happening Kat. "
"GET OUT!!" she bellowed . Kathryn turned around and grabbed Jackson roughly by the arm. She attempted to pull him out the door but he wouldn't budge.
"No I think I want to stay" he told her as he pushed her away. "I want to hear you tell him the whole truth, about us."
"There is no US!" she screamed. "Now get out, just-"
"Come on tell him the truth, he wants to hear it don't you Valmont. Tell him about California, about how we rigged the bet-"
"Stop it" Kathryn begged him now of the verge of tears. "Just please stop if you ever-
Jackson interrupted her pleading by scornfully saying "tell him how you set him up to fall in love with you just so you could break his heart and be with me."
She looked down at the ground, her body now gently shaking as she cried. "Just go" she whispered to him.
Jackson either took pity on her or realized that the game was no longer fun finally grabbed his jacket and complied. He took one last look at me then back at Kathryn. "It didn't have to be this way you know" he whispered to her as he headed out the door.
After the heavy wood door shut behind him I watched dazed as Kathryn tried to pull her self together. She was getting ready for spin control and the thought turned my stomach all the more. I wasn't the man she loved but rather someone she had to deal with. Turning back to me she wiped her damp eyes. "Sebastian..."
I held up my hand to silence her. Turning away from her I finally let Jackson's words sink in. They didn't make sense but in a way I knew they had. Looking back to that time nearly three years ago I thought about all the odd things I had brushed aside. Jackson's ability to show up just when Kathryn and I were getting close, his rampant jealousy when she moved in with me, the night I got wasted and noticed Kathryn trying to talk him out of sneaking into my room and all the other weird coincidences I hadn't put together until that moment. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to throw up.
Leaning against the edge of the bed I groaned "I think I'm going to be sick."
Immediately she was by my side, her hand gently caressing my lower back. Ignoring my nausea I spun around and threw her hand off of me. "Don't.Fucking.Touch. Me"
"Okay" Kathryn backed away timidly. I must have been scaring her since normally this was a girl who backed down from nothing. "What do you want?"
"I want you to tell me the truth"
"No you don't" she replied softly.
"Yes I do! I want the truth now Kathryn or else I'm walking out that door and I swear to god you will never see me again."
She took a seat in the armchair sitting away from me. "You're going to anyway" she sighed.
Shaking my head angrily I headed for the door determined to leave and never look back. However just as I was grasping the handle Kathryn called out "we met in California."
I stopped and looked back at her. Even though this was what I wanted I feared hearing it. "Go on"
Her eyes darted down to the floor as she explained "that picture you found of us this afternoon, it was taken before the start of that summer. Mother and I went down to Malibu during spring break. While she was off playing with the cabana boy I was left to entertain myself. Jackson was shooting a film at the same hotel we were staying at. We met and got involved..."
Kathryn looked up at me then and slowly I sat down in the seat across from her. A realization was sinking in. "So he did get to you before I did?"
"It wasn't like that"
"But you fucked right?" I demanded harshly.
She nodded "yes. During that time I started to fall for him. It was the first time sex ever meant anything to me. I knew it was dumb, especially since Jackson was seeing that insipid red head at the time, but I couldn't help myself. I was in love with him."
"How touching" I spat sarcastically. "Mommy dearest must have been pleased."
"She hated it" Kathryn replied flatly as she got to her feet and looked out the large picture window. "Once she discovered that I was actually serious about him she had the maid pack up our things and we were on the next flight to New York. I was livid, I screamed at her the whole way home but all she said was, Jackson wasn't for me. She would not have her daughter dating some actor. She didn't care how famous he was."
For a moment I actually found myself thankful for Tiffani's interference. "Anyway" she continued on "Jackson and I kept in touch. He promised he would be with me soon and my mother would no longer be a problem. I believed him until one day I came home from school and overheard a conversation between my mother and yours. They were discussing a wedding. More to the point they were discussing our wedding. I couldn't believe it, she wanted me to marry you."
"Imagine that. You must have been angry."
Looking back at me she stated matter of faculty "I hated you."
For some reason this surprised me most of all. Standing up quickly I strode over to the desk and lit a cigarette. "This is exactly what a groom wants to hear the night of his engagement party."
"I can stop if you want. We can just forget-"
"No" I replied quickly. "I want the truth, all of it."
Kathryn nodded and leaned back against the window. A wistful smile crossed over her sad face. "You know I use to have a crush on you." I looked up at her somewhat stunned. "Oh come on you had to know" she prodded. When I shook my head no she replied "I did. When we first met at that party I was completely smitten with you. I never acted on it because...well lets face it your reputation wasn't exactly stellar. Then one day you drove me home and I invited you in. I was planning on taking you back to my but then we-"
"Walked in on our parents going at it all over the living room floor."
She shook her head sullenly "after that I didn't care what my mother thought but I didn't think you'd want to have anything to do with me anymore. So I kept my distance and you and I became friends of sorts but in the back on my head I always assumed it would happen between us some day. It was a given. Funny thing was if I had heard about my mothers desires for our marriage before I went to California I would probably have been thrilled."
For a moment as I watched her framed against the window, I could forget about everything that happened. I forgot how she betrayed me but then I would blink and it would all come rushing back to me. Looking away from her I took a long drag off my cigarette and replied "but that's not what happened."
"No I thought I loved Jackson and as far as I was concerned you were an obstacle that needed to be moved. I told him about my mothers plans but I didn't tell her who with. I didn't even know you two knew each other. A week later Jackson called me and told me he was coming to the city for the summer. He was going to make sure that we would be together."
"How chivalrous of him"
Kathryn ignored my comment and continued on. "Anyway on the night of his welcome home party we decided to pretend we didn't know each other, just in case it got back to my mother that we were together. I ran into you on the balcony that night and you surprised me with that fact that you already knew Jackson. I asked him about it after I talked to you but he shrugged it off and told me he'd fill me in later. Then I found him later that night..."
I looked over at her in surprise "you found him with Guinevere."
"About five minutes after you had. I stumbled into the study and there you were, looking as angry as I felt. Then we made that bet. I didn't even know why I agreed to it. I just thought it might come in useful later on. It wasn't until the following morning that I found out just how. See Jackson snuck into my bedroom, with flowers and he apologized. He said he was drunk and blah, blah, blah. I had hardly been celibate since the last time we'd seen each other so I didn't hold it against him. Then he told me about his history with you."
"That must have been enlightening."
Kathryn walked over to the desk and leaned against it. "Take your hatred for him and multiply it by about a hundred then you have a rough estimate of how much he despised you. When he found out you were who my mother wanted me to marry he completely lost it. He vowed to make sure that never happened. I told him about our bet and he got excited. Jackson was convinced there was something in your journal that we could use to destroy you and make sure the supposed engagement never happened. We were going to play it out until you believed he was in love with me."
"So our bet was a set up all along?" Putting out my cigarette on the desk I replied "well done. I never saw it coming."
"Sebastian-"
"What about Charlotte? Was this Jack's way of getting rid of her too?"
Kathryn smiled "no that was mine. Jackson had no idea I was setting him up. I knew that as long as she was in the picture I could never have Jackson so I removed her or at least I thought I had."
My eyes narrowed at her. "You didn't really think I'd let you win so easily?"
"Of course not but I didn't think you would make it so hard either. I didn't expect myself to develop feelings for you."
"Poor you" I quipped sarcastically. "That must have been really tough stringing me and Jackson along."
"You think I enjoyed it?" she hissed. "I hated it. Lying to you and having to deal with Jackson's erratic jealousy, it wasn't fun. I thought it would all be over the night of your parents engagement party. That was the night we planned for him to tell you he was in love with me. However a couple nights before we had a fight and I wasn't sure he would go through with it. When I asked you that night and you told me what he said I believed you. I honestly thought he didn't love me."
"So you settled for the conciliation prize right?!" I yelled clutching the end of the desk and I leaned over and screamed at her. "You couldn't have him so you took me to bed instead?"
"It wasn't like that!" she yelled back. "That was the best night of my life!" When I regarded her with surprise she looked away from me as if embarrassed. "It had never been like that before. I felt something...I-I fell in love with you but at the same time I still had feelings for Jack. It freaked me out that I could feel so much so I tried to put as much distance between us as possible. Jackson came to me a few days later and apologized for not going through with it. He told me he loved me and that instead of following through on the bet he wanted to steal the journal from you."
"You know he didn't want to follow through on the bet because he knew admitting he loved you to me would mean defeat. He would look like a pussy if he did that and we both know Jack would rather die than look weak."
Kathryn snickered "you two really did see me as some sort of chess piece didn't you?"
"Oh please cut the self righteousness! You are hardly the victim in this little scenario."
"Maybe not" she agreed "but I wasn't plotting against you. Look when Jackson told me he loved me and I didn't respond right away he started to figure out I had doubts. He called me on having feelings for you. Right away he made it known that if I ever left him he would make sure you knew that I been lying to you all along. I knew you would hate me so I didn't see any other choice than to stay with Jack. When he told me he wanted to steal your journal I agreed to help."
"That night I got wasted and passed out in your room I remember seeing him there. He was trying to get into my room but you talked him out of it."
"I didn't want to marry you but I didn't want you hurt either so I made up excuses. Jackson wondered why until he walked in on us at the opera. Until then he hadn't know anything physical had gone on between us. That night after he ran out I tracked him down and he was completely livid. He called me a whore and like some pathetic creature instead of telling him to go to hell I pleaded with him to take me back. Oh he loved that of course. Even then I think he knew that I loved you. Of course he wanted to hurt me as much as humanly possible so he said that if I wanted to be with him I had to break your heart. Jack didn't just want me to dump you he wanted me to get you to admit you loved me and then break you as cruelly as I could."
Thinking back to that fateful night that I had set in motion I remembered "you threw yourself at me. You were trying to make me push you away, why?"
Kathryn threw me a look as if to say, wasn't it obvious? "I didn't want to hurt you but I didn't know how I felt. Everything was just a mess so I thought if I could just get away for a little while...After you turned me down I made arrangements to go to London for the rest of the summer. I hadn't expected you to follow me. I was genuinely shocked to find you there." She smiled "I was happy. I thought this could be our chance to be together without my mother or Jackson around. To see if we would be good together."
Looking away from her I admitted "we were."
"Yes, it was perfect. Only what I didn't know what that Jackson was in town also. He found out we were together and tried to get in touch with me but I wouldn't take his calls. Then he stole your wallet and had us arrested. The morning after, I awoke and you were gone and he was there. We fought and he told me that I would never be happy with you, he wouldn't allow it. He said he loved me and he knew I loved him. If I tried to end things with him he would tell you the truth about everything. You would hate me and I would be alone. He didn't make it sound like blackmail but I knew that was what it was. I didn't think you would ever understand so I did what he wanted."
Slowly I looked back at her. "You're telling me that, that entire fight in London you staged? You made me think you hated me, you let me pour my heart out to you, you burned my fucking journal-"
"I did it for you! I knew if Jackson got his hands on it he would use it to damage you!"
"Trust me you already damaged me enough all ready!"
"I thought I was doing what was best for you Sebastian. I was determined to keep my distance from you for good this time but then you showed up at that party. It wasn't until that moment on the terrace I realized the mistake I had made. All along I had put my faith and love into a guy who was using me just to pay back a grudge. Jackson never loved me, not like you did. And I could never love him like I loved you. When you saw us in the study that night he was trying to convince me other wise but this time he couldn't. I told him I was going back to you and that if he ever tried to interfere or if he ever exposed what happened between us I would make sure everyone knew about him and Ms. Kovac. I would make it my personal mission to ruin his career. He backed off and we hadn't heard from him since...until tonight that is."
"That must have been terribly inconvenient for you" I responded dryly.
Kathryn sighed as she walked over and stood in front of me. Touching my cheek gently she forced me to look into her face. "I know you're angry and you don't think you can forgive me but it's in the past. It doesn't matter how we got here Sebastian, it only matter that we're here now. Come on, I loved Jackson for a few months. I've loved you for years. You can't throw that away."
She leaned up as if to kiss me and I stopped her before she got too close. "Nice try" I whispered coldly. Before she could reply I pushed her back gruffly causing Kathryn to fall into the chair behind her. "I can't even stand to look at you right now, let alone have you touch me. Never mind the fact that you lied to me over and over again, but instead of telling me the truth tonight you just tried all the more harder to cover it up! Tell me if Jackson hadn't come here, would you have ever told me the truth?"
Kathryn said nothing, she just looked away. "That's what I thought."
"I wasn't going to risk losing you" she explained. "Not to this, to him."
"You just did" I told her as I turned and headed for the door.
"Sebastian!" she called after me. "Please don't leave! Please I love you"
As I got to the door I could feel her arm on mine. I knew that if I turned around and saw her pleading I might be tempted to forgive her but I took the chance anyway. I was surprised when I turned back to her and felt no such feelings of warmth or forgiveness. Coldly I removed her hand and replied "I don't care."
Without another word I turned away from her for a final time and walked out the door.
* * * * * *
I'd like to say that after I learned the truth about the supposed love of my life I went out and did something profound and meaningful afterwards but no I did what all hurt and angry males do. I went out, got wasted, and fucked another girl.
Any girl would probably have done the trick but I had the misfortune of running into Haley, Kathryn's 'slut' cousin at a bar near my parents house. Apparently she had skipped out of the party early in order to find some real fun. She started flirting with me right away when she realized I was engaged to her cousin. After a few shots I admitted to her that I had more or less broken things off with Kathryn. I was too hammered to remember what happened next but given the fact that I woke up the next morning naked in bed beside the pretty blond it wasn't hard to reach to the next logical conclusion.
"Morning" she greeted me with surprising perkiness.
"Uh huh" I grumbled as I rolled over onto my side away from her.
"I'm starving, do you mind if I help myself to some breakfast?"
"Whatever"
I rubbed my face against the soft pillow as I heard her get up from the bed and exit the room. Once I was sure I was alone I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. Surprisingly I wasn't feeling the after affects of a hangover, not the alcohol induced variety anyway. No the first thing I thought about as I woke up that morning was of course Kathryn.
Most of last night I racked my brain trying to recall any instances that might have gone unnoticed that would have pointed to Kathryn's betrayal. I couldn't find any. Then again perhaps they were there all along but I was too brainwashed by love to notice. Maybe I didn't want to notice.
The more I thought about it I realized it wasn't so much the lying that bothered me as it was the fact that Jackson shared this secret with her. For the past couple of years I had been walking around thinking that I had everything when he had nothing. All along he was carrying around this time bomb just waiting to throw it at me and blow my world apart.
As I laid there in bed all I could do was picture Kathryn and Jackson together. It started to make me feel ill (or perhaps that hangover was kicking in after all) so I sprung up from the bed and quickly got dressed. I could hear Haley singing along in the radio in the next room and I was desperate to get out of there before she could corner me.
There was also another reason I was anxious to leave. I lived in a penthouse apartment near school that Kathryn practically lived in as well. She had a key and undoubtedly would come looking for me there. I had to get out before she arrived. Quietly I crept to the door and as I started to open it slowly, I heard two familiar voices arguing in the hallway. Peaking out the crack in the door I spotted Kathryn with her back to me down the hall and Jackson standing close to her.
"I'm not having this conversation with you now" she hissed angrily as she moved away from him. "I have nothing left to say to you."
Jackson cornered her against the wall. "You can't honestly expect that he's going to forgive you after everything you've done. Face it baby, it's over."
"He loves me" she replied confidently.
"It doesn't matter. From now on whenever he looks at you all he's going to see in the girl who betrayed him with his worst enemy. Just let it go Kathryn and come back to me."
"Never"
Kathryn started towards my door when he pulled her back to him. He whispered something in her ear that I couldn't hear but it made her squirm away from him. As angry as I was all my instincts were screaming at me to jump to her defense. I hated watching him paw her like that so without thinking I stepped loudly out into the hall. Both of them spun around in surprise at my presence. "Well don't let me interrupt" I deadpanned.
"Sebastian I wanted to talk to you-"
"And you decided to bring Jack along in case, what? Things didn't work out and you'd have a back up plan?"
Kathryn looked distastefully in Jackson's direction. "I didn't bring him, he followed me. Apparently since he can't get any movie offers he's taken up stalking as a new career path."
"I'm just tagging along to watch as the final nail is drilled into the coffin of this pathetic little relationship you two have going."
"Fuck off before I call the cops" I sneered at him.
Jackson shrugged casually as he leaned against the wall. "Go ahead."
"Sebastian please" Kathryn sighed "can we just go inside and talk for a..."
She trailed off as something behind my back caught her attention. Slowly I turned to find Haley, who I had completely forgotten about up until that point, standing behind me in one of my robes. "Hey, I just going to ask if you wanted to join me in the shower but apparently you're busy. Hello Kathryn"
Kathryn seemed too stunned to answer her and for a split second I felt remorse for my actions. She honestly hadn't seen this coming. My attention was so focused on Kathryn I hadn't paid any attention to Haley but Jackson did. "He's in the middle of something at the moment honey but I'm sure he'll join you shortly."
I dimly heard the door close as I watched Kathryn's eyes fall to the floor. "Well done Valmont" Jack remarked cheerfully. "Did you wait a whole hour after your tiff with you fiancee before hooking up with her cousin or just thirty minutes?"
Before I could reply Kathryn finally spoke. "You son of a bitch" she breathed. She then turned and pushed past Jackson as she strode up to the elevator.
She smacked the button with her hand and I quickly came up behind her and grabbed her arm. Forcing her around to look at me I demanded "how does it feel? Huh, how does it feel to have everything you thought you could trust and believe in pulled out from underneath you? What I did last night it's nothing compared to what you did to me."
The elevator doors opened and Kathryn pulled out of my grasp. As she stepped inside she sunk against the opposite wall. "So I take it our engagement is off then?" I asked in a bored tone of voice
Slowly she brought her head up and as she did I realized she was crying. Shaking her head bitterly Kathryn tugged the diamond engagement ring off her finger and threw it at me. "I hate you" she whispered.
Catching the ring I replied mockingly "right back at you sweetheart."
As the doors closed I turned around to find Jackson still leaning against the wall obviously loving every moment of the havoc he caused. Before he could open his mouth to speak I chucked the ring at him and spat "she's all yours."
- to be continued (Please Review)
