Chappie 2- the awakening (in which Nigel finally gets it right)

Barry woke with a chainsaw rattling through his brain. "OWWWW! My fucking head!" he screamed throughout the house.

"You got what you deserved!" Ermine said coldly, giving no sympathy to him in his weakened state, "you always get like this when you get drunk!"

"That goblin was pinching your ass! I had to do something, it was disgusting!"

Barry fake-choked to point out how disgusting he found it (you always do when you're a 15 year old boy.)

"Well I want you to stop drinking its going to stunt your growth AGAIN!"

"No Ermine, I can't live without my piss, I'll shrivel up and die!"

"No arguing! I've made up my mind. Your not fucking drinking and that's that! GEEZ! You'd think I was your fucking mother the way you carry on! And don't try that sympathy stuff on me, it doesn't work for Nigel and it won't work for you!"

Barry was about to answer back when the wall next to them started banging. It was coming from Nigel's room.

"Good on 'im!" Barry enthusiastically, "I wonder who the lucky chick is?"

"You don't think........." She started.

"I do think, he's 16 it's about time he started getting some."

"I'm going to see what's going on," Ermine said, "and don't try to stop me!"

INSIDE NIGEL'S ROOM!

"Ummm...what do I do now? Oh, where do I put this?"

"I'm not real, I can't tell you what to do!"

"Ooopps! I don't think I did it right!?!"

Nigel was reading Naughty Naiads magazine (oct. edition) and like everything else in the wizarding world their magazines were magic. The naiads came right out of the magazine!

He still hadn't been able to get it right! (He was a bit dim, even for a muddle!)

He heard someone coming up the stairs so he quickly slid the magazine under his badly made bed.

"Nigel what are you doing in there?" He heard his mother calling from the other side of his door.

"Nothing!" He quickly replied without thinking.

"Don't give me nothing young man," she started. Adults have to say things like that to make them fell important.

"I know there's someone in there with you,"

"No there isn't! Honestly!" Nigel breathed panting.

"Why are you breathing so heavily then?" Nigel didn't have time for this; he had to go meet his girlfriend, Sam.

"Come in and see for yourself then, I've been doing sit-ups."

"On your bed?"

That one was hard to explain. All he could come up with was an, "Uh hu, right mum, whatever you reckon!" and ran down the stairs and out of the door before anyone could ask him any more questions.

"I honestly don't know what's up with that boy!" Ermine nervously began as she walked back into their bedroom.

Barry still hadn't gotten up. He was sitting laid back on the bed looking at her dreamily.

"You know what I think," he said brisk fully.

"What do you think?" Ermine curiously said with a touch of friskiness.

"I think that we should fuck again!"

Honestly Barry had become so horny during puberty this time around that even Ermine had trouble keeping up with him, (and that's saying something!)

But she had no problem with this of course!

Barry was so drunk the night before he had no idea what he was doing! In her description he was UNmanly and rugged, screaming all girly-like!

She threw herself on top of him and stripped so fast that you would have had to replay it in ultra-ULTRA-ULTRA slow motion to watch it!

"Barry, Oh my GOD BARRY!" Ermine screamed through the crashing of the bed.

"WHAT woman?" He yelled through half exhausted breathes.

"It's called an Orgasm Barry, in case you hadn't heard of it!" She lay back exhausted.

"Just shut up and fuck me woman, I ain't finished yet!" Then he started up again!

Nigel opened the door slowly trying to make sure that his mother didn't hear him or the girl he was with.

They climbed the stairs and went into Nigel's room and closed the door. The girl in question was Nigel's girlfriend, Sam.

She had never been in Nigel's room before so she walked around looking at everything.

Nigel however, wanted something more from her than just seeing his room, (you know what I'm talking about).

She turned around and there he was, lying on his bed, sprawled out comfortably.

"So? Waddaya think?" He smirked.

"I see what I like, and I like what I see!!" Sam said also smirking.

Climbing up the bed she undressed as she went, as did Nigel.

By the time she got to him she was in her lingerie, which she had conveniently worn.

Nigel was wearing his same, old boxer shorts that he wore every day. Sam didn't care though, she just laughed.

Back in Barry and Ermine's room they were going at it harder than ever before.

If you were a total stranger in they're house you could have sworn that there was a series of barn animals bouncing on a trampoline in they're room.

Unexplained minutes and uncountable orgasms later, Barry and Ermine finished.

"Hang on a tick," Barry said to Ermine who was breathing heavily after her last orgasm.

"We've stopped, so what's that noise?"

"I told you he was getting some, but did you believe me? Nooooooooo" he teased.

"Oh ha ha, very funny!" She said sarcastically.

(Back again to Nigel's bedroom)

"nigel, NigEL!, NIGEL!!!!!"

This was obvious to him that he had done it right this time! This again obviously made him very happy!

They still hadn't ceased bonking when suddenly Ermine and Barry opened the door.

"OH MY GOD! NIGEL!" Ermine practically bellowed.

"Good on ya son!" Barry chirped.

Sam and Nigel both screamed, still conjoined in a rather compromising position.

"What's that weird kid from school that always calls you son doing here?" Sam questioned.

"Oh..........I.....................I'm fucking the mother!"

"That's all you could come up with?" Ermine sadly distributed.

"Uh mum, BARRY...........(you wouldn't want to blow that your dad is younger than you in the middle of giving it to your girlfriend now would you? NO? I didn't think so either)................We're kind of in the middle of something here.

"Well.................just finish it up and come downstairs will you, I have to give you a medal!" Barry screamed in delight before getting slapped around the ears by Ermine.

Neither of them felt that they could do anymore anyhow so they both got dressed again and went downstairs.

"Oh........I wasn't expecting you down here for another few minutes, I haven't finished the medal!"

Barry jumped up still cheerful and put a medal around Nigel's neck.

Ermine, however wasn't so enthusiastic.

"Now............................ I have to say something to you TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'"