Author's notes: Gomen nasai, minna-san! *bows a hundred times* It's the first two weeks of school and everything's a jumble! WAH! *pressure*
Well, anyway, I've finally become sane (minnie me: you wish) and I suppose things are really going to get moving this time around. *nods head* I'll try to make it more… err… not weird. *sweatdrop* I was in the brink of going back to school at that time and I wasn't really prepared for it… thus, the deranged-psycho-dancing-disco-girl taking over. ^_^ Nyehehehe. Well, 'nuff said.
Disclaimer: No mood for this. Please refer to violent, rage antics posted in previous chapters. -_-'
Mission: Frustration!
By Tesuka- chan
Chapter 9
Shoe Crisis
"KAM!!!!"
The voice boomed, echoing throughout the entire room. One can seriously equate its magnitude and impending destruction to the blast of a nuclear bomb.
A raging Kaoru desperately tried to get some air, gasping and coughing, finding the light, the air. She was choking, heaving breaths and moving her arms about, kicking through the swallowing dark sea of…
… shoeboxes.
"KAMATARI!!! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? AND WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE?!"
A fussed head popped up among the pile of shoeboxes that were carelessly thrown in the middle of the room. Angry blue sparks began fizzing as Kaoru began stomping (or rather, wading) towards the bedroom, not minding the neon orange shoebox on which her foot got stuck in.
Oooohh…! I swear, when I get my hands on him, I'll wring his dainty little neck! These shoes cost a fortune!
"Kamatari! Why you sneaky little…" Kaoru banged the bedroom door open when…
"GAAAAHHHH!!!"
… another mountain of boxes and shoes came upon her like a tsunami.
"Ahh, Kaoru! Just the person I've been looking for! So what do you think about these blue Gucci's? Personally, I think the fuschia ones look better but then the nice little saleslady told me the blue one looks good on me… so I bought both of them! Which one suits me best?" Kamatari babbled on, grinning happily with stars on his eyes.
"Mfffllllpssshhtttffffttt."
"EH? I can't understand you dear. Speak louder!"
Bursting from the sea of leather, feather, and glitter, the raging reporter glared at cameraman, her voice dangerously saccharine sweet, "My dear, how the hell did you pay for all of these?!"
The feminine man smiled cheerily at her, looking very much like a cat complete with the furry ears and tail.
"Ano… I used the money that was supposed to help us last for a month?"
"WHAT?"
"Well, you see… I couldn't help myself! There was a really big sale in that street where all my favorite shops were and it only happens once in a lifetime! You couldn't say no to that!"
"It was an ANNUAL sale. They have it ONCE A YEAR!!!"
"Ehhh… but the kid says annual means once in a lifetime…" Kamatari seems genuinely shocked and hurt.
Kaoru tried to control her temper, without success. "It's probably once in a lifetime for you because when I'm done with you, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO BUY SHOES ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T NEED THEM!!!"
Kamatari went all gooey- eyed, nose sniffling and lips trembling, "De- demo Kaoru… I even bought you these really nice boots! Wait a sec…" he frantically shoves cluttered boxes around looking for those nice leather boots, "They're here somewhere! I know it!" He sniffled looking very piteous and pathetic.
Kaoru sighed, knowing that what's done is done, and she could not do anything about it… except find a way to pay off their accommodations. Either that or give the whole thing up, which is definitely out of the question. She sighed again, all the fight gone out of her with that thought. "Just… forget about it. This mess must be all fixed by the time I get back." She turned around, stumbling and muttering.
"Wh- where are you going, Kaoru?" he whined.
"Out. I'll try to think of a way for this project to continue," she grumbled, picking up her wooden sword from her luggage. She walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
Poor Kamatari wiped the tears from his eyes and sniffed. But I DID get you nice boots… he looked down, and saw the said boots clutched in his hands. He sighed, storing them away for safekeeping. One scary thought was left in his mind while he started to clean up his precious shoes…
… I pity the one who is going to be at the other end of that bokken.
Kaoru went straight to the park, scaring away all the little children and the buffed up bullies with her slow-and-painful-death-to-you-if-you-don't-move-out-of-my-way look. She began practicing her formations behind a huge Sakura tree, a way to vent out and release her anger. Therapists do give wise advice sometimes.
Argh… all those shoes! It looks like he even broke Imelda Marcos' record! I don't even know what he's gonna do with all of them! And all that saved money, gone! GONE! She executed a half-turn slash, hitting an imaginary target. What am I going to do now? I suppose I'll have to look for work around here or something. We'll have to rent a cheap apartment, fish in the river for food, and work our asses off.
Then an idea struck her.
Maybe if I catch a thief or something, people will be so grateful that they'll give me reward money! Her brow was knit. I know it's kind of weird but it's a start! And with my skills and good eye, I'll be able to do it! Her face glowed at the thought. "RIGHT!"
She quickly stopped her formations and looked around, scanning for a victim – err, thief or criminal. Then she saw him.
A suspicious looking punk with hair dyed outrageously red, his shades, loose shirt and pants all black. He was sitting on a bench, reading a newspaper. But he's actually looking for a victim… I know because the newspaper's upside down! Haha! I'm a genius! She smiled evilly, tiptoeing closer to the Sakura tree for a better view. You're gonna be sorry when I'm done with you… nyehehehe…
Suddenly, the punk threw away the newspaper and began walking briskly down the path. Kaoru panned her sight in front of him where a rich- looking man was walking his dog. Hmph, so that's your victim, eh? She began walking stealthily, her bokken clutched behind her. YOU'RE going to be the victim when I'm through with you!
The reporter followed them, hiding behind trees and benches. Finally, the rich man turned right towards a coffee shop, the punk following close behind. I know that place! Good thing I know a short cut! She quickly ran behind a building, through an alley, emerging to the side of the outside café. She hid in the shadows and waited patiently.
The rich- looking man passed by, his golden retriever in front of him.
Any minute now…
The punk approached quickly, not looking away from his target.
And… NOW! She swung her bokken – *WHOOSH* --
-- and missed, the unbalanced force making her topple over and hit the pavement behind a tree.
The punk looked around, feeling a rush of air pass behind him. He shrugged, seeing nothing, and continued on his way.
RATS! I missed? How could I miss? That was right on target… I couldn't have missed! (but you did. Haha.) I hate sarcastic conscience. Grateful for falling behind a tree and not being seen, she quickly recovered and stood up, not bothering to brush off the dirt and leaves off her. She cautiously looked around and saw the rich-man-with-the-dog sit on a chair outside and order something from the waiter. Then she saw the punk sit down on the chair nearest her, looking at the victim.
Ha! This is my chance! I can't miss this time! Determined, she raised her (wooden sword), aiming for his head…
… the punk saw a shiny quarter on the floor beside his chair and bent to pick it up…
… and Kaoru missed yet again, hitting the table in front of the punk, squishing the poor bug who happened to be on her bokken's way. Her hand vibrated from the impact of metal to wood and the vibrations went up her arms and body, shaking her and making her fall on her butt.
Itee… why are the pretty trees moving so fast?
"Miss! Are you ok – ORO?!"
Kaoru had closed her eyes, trying to stop the world from moving too fast. Hearing those words, she had a vague sense of recognition… something about the voice and the weird expression… but she couldn't put her finger on it. She finally opened her eyes and blinked, clearing the images around her. The coffee shop, the red- haired policeman from before, the trees – red- haired policeman? That Kenshin guy?!?
Hell.
"I didn't do anything, I swear!!!" the panicked reporter said frantically, trying to look for an excuse. "I… uhh… saw a punk who was about to rob this rich guy and I followed him, because I could never let anyone go against the law, so I thought that I'd bring him in!" Her babbling stopped, looking around her. Thankfully, there was hardly anybody there so no one witnessed her embarrassing faux pa… but the punk kid was also gone. No! After all that… darn it! I lost him!
Worried and slightly put down now, she looked up at the astonished policeman… whose black shades were shoved up his hair and was wearing a loose- fitted shirt and pants.
Uh-oh.
HE was the goddamned punk.
Hell.
"So that's why you attacked me? Because you thought I would rob a man?" Kenshin asked gently, confusion evident on his features.
Kaoru looked guiltily down at her bokken and saw the squished bug. "N- no… I definitely didn't attack you! I saw a deadly bug on your table and I squished it to save you!" Oh, give yourself a huge pat on the back for that, will ya? Pathetic.
He looked at her bokken and saw the bug. "Ano… arigatou for your thoughtfulness, Kaoru-dono, but I don't believe that I need rescuing from a mere… housefly." His voice had a hint of amusement.
She blushed.
"Okay, fine… so I DID thought you were a thieving punk. You want to know why? Because you were suspicious! You wore black clothes and shades even if the sky is gray!"
"Many people wear black."
"You followed that man!"
"It just so happened that I was going in the same direction as him."
"You went to the same café as him!"
"I was tired and thirsty."
Wracking her brain and refusing to give up, she finally found the perfect detail. She pointed at him for the effect, "YOU WERE READING THE NEWSPAPER UPSIDE DOWN!"
Kenshin paused.
"Uhh… I really read like that."
"HA! That's not gonna go through me, buster! Nobody reads the newspaper upside- down, or else they should've made the alphabet upside down instead of right side up, so that would've been right side up instead of upside down!"
"Oro… I'm confused."
"Ha! I win! So explain yourself! Why do you go around robbing people if you're a policeman? Shame on you! Corruption is bad!" the vehement girl accused him, blue eyes throwing out sparks.
"I wasn't going to rob the man…" Kenshin sighed, "all right, I was in an undercover mission, okay?" He looked suspiciously at her. "How about you? Since when do reporters started bonking people in the head with deadly wooden swords, besides copying classified information from the chief of police's computer?"
Kaoru paled.
"FINE! I was bonking around people in the head because I needed to bring in a criminal to the police so that I could have reward money so that we could stay and do my project because Kamatari spent all out money in shoes and we don't have any left!" She burst it out all in one breath. She heaved in some air and looked at him. "Happy?"
Kenshin blinked.
"Well, if that's the case, you're welcome to stay with me," he said matter- of- factly.
She blinked. "Wh- what? Are you serious? After all I've done to you? You're really going to help us? But why?"
Kenshin smiled (which reminded her of a rurouni smile that she saw in an anime) and replied, "It's no big deal. You're in a crisis and I really couldn't resist helping anyone in a sorry situation… that's why I became a policeman in the first place."
Kaoru was speechless for the first time that day.
"Shall we have coffee? Since you caused the man that I was following to leave, I can't follow him anymore. Might as well take a break." He held out his hand at her to help her up.
Kaoru looked at his outstretched hand. Incredible… how can anyone be so nice especially after everything I've done? Her eyes became teary and she blinked them away before they start to fall. She took his hand.
"Hai! Arigatou! I am forever in your debt." She bowed, feeling shy.
"Hey, none of that. I just like helping, that's all." He smiled and they headed towards the café.
"WAAAHHH!!! How am I going to sort this out before Kaoru comes back?" Kamatari wailed for the hundredth time that day.
The whole room resembled a jungle.
"Oh no… I don't even know where to start!"
Suddenly, a scratching noise was heard…
… Kamatari slowly turned around, his face sweating, his hands clammy…
… the door swung open…
… "Kamatari! Good news! I found a place where we can stay! This policeman who caught me in Tokyo was really nice and – "…
… his heart thudded against his chest as he braced himself for the inevitable…
… "KAMATARI!!! I THOUGHT I SAID THAT THIS SHOULD BE ALL FIXED WHEN I COME BACK?!!"
I'm doomed.
Doomed.
Doomed.
And doomed he was.
A/n: Okay, this was a 'nonsensical' chapter. I just felt that I've neglected the three of them so here's a chapter devoted for them. Happy, Kenshin fans? *cough cough*
Anyway, more action definitely on the next chapter. *grins* I just hope y'all can be patient with me 'coz it might be another two weeks or so, with studies and crap all over me. *grunt*
Well, thanks to the following loving reviewers! (even deadly ones!)
C-ko: ows? Bad feeling about enishi? *grins evilly* Well, we'll see if he truly is and evil guy… or he might be the angel of mercy! Hahaha!
Devil: Thanks! ^_^
Innocent Dreamer: Here! Happy! A whole chapter full of them! *pfffftt* I was supposed to add a scene with Misao but I got too lazy, so there! ;p
Bee: glad you enjoyed the ending! I loved putting mysterious endings that makes people think… teeheehee… *evil grin* Though I seem to be lacking cliffhangers. Frown I'll do that next time. ;p
Moonstorm: hehehe… gomen! I don't think that will happen again… the dream of course! ;p Well, thanks!
Dallisse: I'm afraid you'll have to ask misao. (Misao: NO!) Err… *whispering to Misao* come one, be nice! She needs to update her fics so I can read them!!! (Misao: hmm… I'll think about it!) Well, that's not so bad. ;p
Chris: thanks! Well, You'll see it in the next chapters. ^_^
NatsuNoAme: Ahhh… mochi balls. *starts drooling* It is the dessert of all desserts, the ice cream- cum- cake! Okay, it's basically ice cream wrapped in this floury thing. It's totally yummy! *lick lips* To tell you the truth, I've only had it a couple of times but it was so yummy, I couldn't take the taste off! Well, you can buy it in most Japanese convenience stores. ^_^ Hahaha… so you like both Aoshi and Enishi, eh? I wonder if you can choose between the two. *sly smile*
Kmye- chan: more Kamatari for you! Bwahahaha!!! ^_^ Don't worry about Aoshi, jealousy is my most favorite trait. *grins evilly* I'm so glad you liked the previous chapter… so sorry this one took so long and it came out short. : ( I'll make up for it in the next chapter! ^_^
Cat H: OOOhhh… lots of questions, but all answers will come in due time! Teeheehee… Just be ready for surprises. (or not because you might've guessed but… I don't think so! ;p)
Nekonomiko: Deranged? Thanks! I accept that as a compliment! *grins 'derangedly'* As for Aoshi and Enishi, yeas, I did notice it. Probably fate… that they were supposed to fight for the same woman! Ohohoho! ;p Oh, and about giving yourself a jap name and turning into a babe? Sorry, I already did that. *flaunts curvaceous bod* (minnie me: only in your dreams, oh deranged one) Heh!
EK: Crazy and Mess are my middle names! (minnie me: uhhh… is it possible to have 2 middle names?) Well, thanks!
JadOo: Oooohh… I'll read that sometime. ^_^ Anyway, I couldn't help it adding Chou in… and doing nasty, disgusting things to him! Bwahahaha! (minnie me: O.o) not THAT kind of nasty, hentai minnie me! *bonk* Well anyway, lots of Kaoru weirdness here so I hope you had a good laugh! ^_^ thanks! ;p
KYA! My friend, chill, made me a blog! *dances around, looking like a lunatic* So if your interested on what goes on in a deranged (courtesy of nekonomiko ^_^) writer's mind and life, you can go to: crazytesuka. pitas. com
Please read and review, minna- san! ^_^
