Disclaimer: none of them belong to me or to Razzbairee they all belong to Temco/team Ninja but the rights to Kai is owned to Razzbairee... I'm not saying any more

Kitchen disaster

Walking up Kai stops at the door 609 "hmm whose my next door neighbour?" he asks himself, looking he sees pink pedals underneath the door. He slides the key card into the slot on the side of the door of his room and watch the red light turn green for him to open the door. He walks in and sees a moderately large room with a large couch while a large double bed with a small room for the bathroom holding a bath and a shower in the corner next to it.

He place his luggage on a glass table "not bad at all" thought Kai looking round the place "I can get use to this place" he thought and looks to the bed "hmmm why double bed?" he asks himself.

He walk to the balcony and soaks in the beautiful view "wow it's great... except that damn statue!" he thought staring at the statue that's nearby showing its damn rear end at him like a Baboon!

"Damn that guy!" Kai throws a chair and watch the chair smash into the statue "ouch" came a giant boom "what in hell" Kai asks himself watching the statue rub it's rear ends while tears explode from the statue "my rear hurts I want my mommy!" He watch the statue bellows crying "OK" Kai thought inching away from the window leaving the statue to cry,

Soon Kai walks to the restaurant "man I'm starving here" Kai thought. Instantly his stomach growls in acknowledgement like a lion "easy buddy, you'll get fed as well" Kai tells his stomach which responds with a less loud growl "OK I'll get the food, just don't growl again please!" He notice a small sign at the door leading to the restaurant "due to our chef being food poison and having his stomach being pump out of poison I afraid no food will be served today, we apologise for the inconvenience."

Kai's stomach roars in anger "hey I told you not to growl off again!" Kai shouts at his stomach which pouts in response "oh come on it feels like I got two heads here."

When he enters through the double doors a few of the tables are filled with people and he took in the first table with Tina sat with Bass still wearing the skin tight leather suit "man that guy needs to see someone about tight leather suits DO not mix with him!" The next table he found Hayate wearing a black tux while Hitomi is wearing the bikini she was wearing earlier "sorry mate you're not James Bond."

The next Helena wearing a white knee short skirt while the top half she still wears the top Bikini. She sat with a large man crying a river to tears, the man looks Italian, with white hair slick back, while he has a pair of fetching shades and a black vest as well with red trousers as well.

Kai knew that man is Leon and a tough person for that matter. Leon seems to be crying about something and Helena was trying to cheer him up "what got him upset" buckets were place where Leon's river of tears was flooding "at least if they have a fire they know where to get the water." Next Kai spots Lei Fang wearing a lemon yellow bikini with Jann Lee in a white shirt and black shorts and he seems ready to fight "must have a day stick up his butt still" Kai thought passing him.

The next table Christie wears a black bikini sat next to someone that looks Russian wearing nothing but a pair of pink shorts "that would be Bayman... what's up with the pink shorts?" Kai thought watching Bayman pointing at his shorts every so often to Christie "is he showing off his shorts?" At the next table Lisa wore a rainbow colour bikini sitting with Brad who wore a pair of white shorts. As usual he's drinking himself silly and he mistaken a vase of flowers to be a bottle and began to drink the water with the flowers as well "what an idiot."

The last table that leads to the kitchen sat Ryu with Ayane wearing a purple bikini on his left and Kasumi wearing a black bikini on his right "man that guy can attract girls or what!" His stomach growls again and everyone look at him oddly like he has a second head "OK I'm going to get our dinner, sheesh ,can't wait for one second" Kai mutters while the other watch confused.

Soon he came out with a small dish of food he just cooked up and sat down with his back to everyone "oh boy this should be good I'm starving" "WE ALL ARE!" He hears from the shout from behind him. Looking round he saw everyone looking at him and some were drooling especially Bayman and Leon "hey why not make your food yourself?" Kai suggest.

Instantly the guys look at the girls "oh no you don't" came the reply from Christie to Bayman who gave a sweet puppy smile "come on, please, as comrade." Bayman asks with a puppy impression in his eyes sparkling "arrrh those sparkle are blinding me!" came Christie complains and gave Bayman a hard slap. The stars drop out of Baymans's eyes.

"Come on just for daddy" came Bass plea to his daughter "OK dad but if you let me go ahead with that actress career..." Bass looks business like "no I won't let my..."

"Oh I guess you have to wait until the chef returns then" Tina began to walk off "wait sugar plump" Tina turns round "dad can you stop calling me that or do you want me to call you Mr Spankme?" This drew everyone's attention to them "come on, its what I use to call you when you when I was young but it was suppose to be Mr spinky but it turn to Mr Spankme."

Lisa didn't have to move because Brad is drinking.. again, "so do you want anything?" Lei fang asks "I'm not hungry" came Jann Lee's reply crossing his arm in defiance "ok then I guess you're going have to wait till the chefs back."

A thunderous roar is heard from a stomach and all heads turn to Kai "hey I didn't do it my stomachs happy with the food here" then another went off and this cause some of the table to overturn "feels like an earth quake!" Ryu out loud. Then all eyes went to the guilty Jann Lee "OK maybe one hamburger" Lei fang smiles "you may be stubborn in not having food but your stomach isn't."

She looks to Jann Lee stomach "isn't that right" a small growl is heard and some gave strange expression "see great minds think alike" came Lei Fangs comment before skipping away. Helena watches Leon still crying "why is he crying still?"

Kai asks "well he was hoping that the chef make him the ancient super deluxe pizza for Leo here" Kai look at Leon with a series of sweat running down his face "that's why he's crying?"

Helena nods "said the recipe came from an ancient buried pizza restaurant in Italy and has taken years to master and now the chef that works for Zack had finally mastered it but since he's not here Leo has to wait for another two years" Helena tells Kai "waaaaaaaaaahhhh I don't want to wait for another two years!"

Leon cries out the fountain of tears increasing "the chef is only allowed to make this pizza every two years so Leon has to wait another two years now" Helena pats Leon on the back "come on Leo cheer up" Kai went back to eating his food.

Hayate look at Hitomi "OK I'm off cooking" Hayate didn't said a word and watch Hitomi walk off "Hayate's lucky to have someone that likes cooking" Kai thought. But a frying pan came sailing through the air and smack Hayate off his chair "GET IN HERE NOW I NEED HELP HERE IN COOKING!" came a roar from Hitomi from the kitchen.

Hayate drags himself towards the kitchen tears running down his face of what could certainly be death "what's up with Hitomi?" Kai asks "she likes cooking but she needs an assistance and poor Niisan is the assistance" Kasumi explains quickly to Kai.

Kai didn't get it "whenever Hitomi cook her father made the excuse he needs to train but it was really to get away from his daughter who cause more injury with a frying pan than her fist" Kai nods "YOU ARE NOT TO PUT THAT THERE" they heard a whack and something flying in the kitchen "poor guy" Hayate is seen walking by with a frying pan on his hand with a large dent in it as well with tears still flying out of his eyes.

Ryu look to the sisters "so which one of you are going to get something for me to eat?" he asks letting his eyes go to intense mode and stares at the sister with one eye for each sister "stop with the intense stare Ryu" came Kasumi small beg "yeah she's right cut it out." Kasumi hand grabs something and threw it at Ryu. Ryu is thrown off his seat by what Kasumi threw at him "ouch" she hears from the floor "you can say that again" came another voice. Ryu head pops from the table edge and looks at Kasumi "what was that for?" he asks.

Popping up as well came Kai looking at Kasumi "now , what did I do wrong?" he asks looking rather miserable like a puppy "oh he so cute when he's miserable" Kasumi tells Kai, Kasumi ruffle his hair like a dog. Kai is getting a jealous look from Ryu "hey I'm the puppy here so you should be calling me cute" Ryu began to argue going on all fours and put out on hand like a dog with his tongue out panting like a dog, "do this happen often?" Kai asks. "oh don't worry you're still my favourite puppy Ryu" Kasumi pats Ryu on the head "yay" came Ryu triumph cry.

Ayane pinches his ear "honey stop trying to chase the low life" she tells Ryu while he gives small whimper of pain "OK dear can you let go of my ear it's hurting" Ayane smiles "that's what I call cute" Ayane tells Ryu smiling while he looks miserable as well. Kai sighs "I really hate Kunoichis" he walks back to his seat.

Both sisters went off to the kitchen and soon all manner of things are heard ranging from the usual dicing of food to screaming of "that's mine for my Mr Spankme" to "DON'T TOUCH THAT!" Kai finishes his food and walks into the kitchen while the other guys look at him "he's entering the gates of hell" Ryu thought.

When Kai had first entered the kitchen it was clean, but now the place is filled with food of all kinds and plates smash everywhere "man I thought I was bad at cleaning up." Kai thought walking in while all kind of kitchen appliances came flying by him ranging from kitchen knifes to the fridge. Helena is bringing out a pizza that has its toppings lay out to resemble the tower of Paris "creative" Kai thought. Next he found Lei Fang with a knife chopping a hamburger into the shape of a Dragons head "creative as well" Kai thought. Walking by to see Christie making beef stew and began to pour something into it and began to draw something on the beef stew to resemble a dagger "creative" thought Kai.

Hitomi was laying out the food while Hayate stood by still crying like mad while Hitomi makes the sushi in the shape of the moon "wow interesting design" Hayate looking at the food took one and ate it while Hitomi's back was turn. He smiles and has stopped crying, Hitomi spun round and smash a frying pan on Hayate's head "NEVER EAT WITHOUT ME TELLING YOU TO!" Hitomi shouts blowing Hayate off his feet with her shout "at least we know whose boss out of those two" Kai thought while Tina is laying out the Sautéed chicken into the form of a star "interesting" while the last ones are the two sister standing on different bench while Kai went in between them. Ayane thrust her hand out and Kai backs his head back and Kasumi blocks the attack, Ayane attacks again with her feet into a kick and Kai jumps over the kick while Kasumi do the same. Next Ayane kicks straight and Kai backs off. Soon a small war began to wage while Kai is in the middle and he avoided all the attacks with luck on his side. When the sisters are finish Kai crawls to the sink and dump his plates "that... is...the...last...time...I'm...going...to...walk...in...between...them" Kai pants looking round to see all dirty kitchen appliances came at him and soon he's bury by them.

Once he crawled out from all them he walks out to see the men about to taste them while another plate is also made for the girls to dig in as well.

He watches for the results of their cooking.

Bayman looks at Christie with a broad smile "this is the best beef stew I ever had" he kept on smile "oh stop it you're making me blush" came Christie's reply. Bayman didn't stop and kept on smiling "OK you're making me red" Christie tells Bayman her cheeks reddening but he kept on smiling "stop it" Christie is bright as a royal mails red paint job. When Bayman didn't stop she gave him a slap and he fell off his chair frozen to in the same position

Next Bass finish the first Sautéed chicken "YEEEEHAAA that the best!" he shouts out loud, Tina smiles "that's OK Mr Spankme" she tells her father. Bass smiles "This is good" Bass sang the words out "what is wrong with me?" he sang the words out as well "I'm singing like an opera star" he sang. Hayate looks at the food "can I now eat them?" Hayate asks "you may honey" came Hitomi's sweet voice knowing full well if he didn't agree with the food he's going be in the kitchen with the devil again soon. Taking one sushi he eats it "oh My God this is great!" he stops and then has a sudden urge "I need to clean the hotel!" he shouts putting on a pink apron and grabbing a vacuum he runs off "What?" Kai thought. Brad is sleeping as well as Lisa who drank five of Brads wine as well.

Jann Lee look at the hamburger "what is that?" he asks "food silly" Lei fang tells Jann Lee "huh OK I'll try it" he took one bite and much it then swallows it. His eyes are close for a moment, his eyes shot open and he stands up and holds the hamburger. Then shouts so loud that every person on the island can hear him "DELICIOUS!!" he began to cry like a baby with a dumb smile. Lei fang smiles but the next thing happens is when Jann Lee began to giggle "yay that was great I want to do that again!" Kai look at Lei fang wit the look of "what did you put into that food?"

Last Ryu look at the two plates sat before him "oh my which one to choose?"

He looks to the purple dish then back to the pink one "oooo should I choose the love of my life Ayane or should I choose the cute little girl Kasumi" both girls promptly blush at Ryu's words "that guys going get hurt soon" Kai thought.

Ryu took one of each and ate both of them at the same time "bad move, now they going to hit you for not eating them one at a time" the sister didn't look like the mind but the next thing that happen was rather... strange. Ryu then look at his stomach and sees a small lump "that was there before?" then another appears. One of them chase the other while the other ran away, soon Ryu is been beaten up from the inside by the food "ouch" he's thrown into a pillar and gets his head stuck "owww!" The next blow came from his back side so he went flying into a picture of the bride in a picture "owww" he went flying into the roof and looks like he's holding himself up there. He came down "Ryu" came Ayane's cry running to Ryu's side "Ryu who's Ryu?"

Ryu asks in a dumb, dumb voice looking round like a total goof ball "I think you girls put too much emotion into your food" the sister turn to see Kai sigh "the food sometimes can represent the emotion of the one who is cooking them, one side was Kasumi and the other is Ayane and both of them beat Ryu into this senseless form and similarly the rest are acting like odd balls now."

He points to the others who are now acting weird after they had something to eat. Hayate came running in with the pink apron with a feather duster in hand "oh god dust alert!" he shouts a red light on his head running off to a corner to dust "I hate operaaaaa" came Bass singing words stretching the last letter a little long. Bayman is lying on the ground still frozen while Jann Lee is giggling away at the other guys "look at the cute guys weird actions glad I'm still little old me" Kai shakes his head "they'll be back to normal in one hour" he walks off ducking from the flying mop of Hayate's "oh my god bath alert!" he shouts running after Kai who ran through the doors.

An hour later the guys are back to normal and they all look like they went through hell and back "that is the last time I'm going to ever eat your cooking!" Hayate complains "WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Hitomi shouts at Hayate growing some horns "nothing I said you're going have to cook for me more often" he smiles while Hitomi smiles sweetly "oh I see."

Soon they all walk off in different direction while Kai is on a boat fixing the engine "hmmm I knew taking a course in fixing boats was worth it" he told himself trying to bring the boats engine back to life. His head is duck inside the engine "where is that damn spanner?" he thought "HEY!" someone shouts and instantly Kai hears it raise his head and smack it into the door of the engine. Then falls forward and head butts the engine, the engine burst into life while Kai crawls out "owww... my... head... hurts..." he tells whoever it is still dazed "so what's with the speed boat?" He looks over to see Helena standing with Lei Fang and Tina with Kasumi in tow "thought I could fix one of these engines and then have some fun." He checks the engine and 'revs' it with the results of having water thrown at him "yep it's good" he told himself turning the engine off. Jumping out of the boat with a bundle of rope with one end still attach to the boat he walks off "what are you planning on doing?" Lei Fang asks "simple tie this to the parachute so I can pull you up into the air" Kai answers pointing to the parachute "oh I see" Helena replies.

Somewhere else two men are spying on the group of girls watching Kai "hmmm would you think he would steal the prey away?" asks one of them "no he wouldn't she's too hot and young for him" came the others reply "we too old for her!" came one of the others reply "shut up!" he knocks on the other mans head "we got to get her and she will be ours I promise you that" they began to laugh evilly but one of them start to spittle and spit onto the other guy "IDIOT!" came the others reply and he kicks him like a foot ball and launches him out of the bush into a small kiddies pool "hello kids you know what time it is?" asks one of the kids "Beat the guy up!"

End of chapter

Hmmm not funny at all but its up to you to say is it funny or not.

Oh and if a reviewer called God comes here then you can review just don't expect me to be thankful if you go on a flaming rampage again.