Disclaimer: The only things in this fic that belong to me are myself, Mr. Black, the Afro Gundam, and my own personal Gundam, the Skywing Gundam. (Picture Wing Zero Custom from Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz. That's sort of what my Skywing Gundam looks like.) The rest of the characters and Gundams belong to the rich bastards at Sunrise, Inc. However, I don't feel like returning the God Gundam anytime soon. I think it makes for a really nice lawn ornament.
STALKER: Now, everyone. The time is drawing near for the first confrontation between our group of fighters and the forces of Neo Iraq. Logic would dictate that the Neo Iraqis have the upper hand due to knowledge of the terrain. However, our intrepid group has one big strategic advantage. He is Mr. Black, a Gundam Federation spy inside Neo Iraq. Mr. Black claims that if the team sticks with him, he will lead them to Neo Iraq's military installations. Hopefully, he's telling the truth. Let's get things started! Gundam Fight all set? Ready…GO!
Desert Storm! Attack on Iraq
Part 5: The Assault Begins
*Mr. Black's apartment in Neo Iraq. The group is huddled around a map of Neo Iraq on the coffee table. Mr. Black is placing X's as he is speaking.
MR. BLACK: *indicating points on the map* Okay. They has a bunch of missile silos here an' here, an air base here, an' the Devil Gundam's secret hanger is right here, under Saddam's mansion. Our first target though, though, will be here! *points to an industrial complex in the middle of the desert* Dis iz da production plant fo Neo Iraq's army of Scud Gundams.
SAI: What good will that do?
CHIBODEE: If you knock out their means of production, then you hurt their defenses. Say, you're not a stupid as you look, Blacky.
MR. BLACK: Da name's Mr. Black, fool.
CHIBODEE: Yeah, whatever.
ALLENBY: What about that air base? Since our Gundams really can't defend against aerial attacks I think THAT should be our first target.
DEUCE: No need to worry. My Gundam is more than a match for any of Neo Iraq's airborne threats.
CHIBODEE: You mean YOU have a Gundam?!
DEUCE: And why the hell wouldn't I? This is a G-Gundam fic, after all, so it makes sense that I'd have my own Gundam.
SAI: Is it strong?
DOMON: Of course it's strong! It's MY God Gundam he's talking about.
DEUCE: Actually, it's a Gundam of my own design. The God Gundam is back at my house in New Jersey.
*Domon starts to leave.
RAIN: Domon, where are you going?
DOMON: New Jersey.
DEUCE: It won't do you any good, Domon. You forget, I come from the real world, not this cartoon universe you live in. You'd have to travel through different dimensions just to reach my world. However, in order to do so, you need the special powers I have as the author. It's pretty complicated stuff.
DOMON: *turning around* Forget that, then.
SAI: Hey, Mr. Author Guy! Can you show us this Gundam of yours?
DEUCE: Sai Saici, I though you'd never ask.
*Deuce walks over to a sliding glass door, opens it, and steps out onto the balcony. The others follow behind him, genuinely intrigued.
DEUCE: *imitating Domon* Rise, Skywing Gundam!
*Deuce snaps his fingers, Domon-style. An object appears off in the distance and progresses rapidly in the direction of the apartment. Rain is the first to notice the Gundam's unique appearance.
RAIN: *in awe* ~Gasp~ It's an angel.
DEUCE: Aven, actually.
ALLENBY: What's an "aven"?
DEUCE: I'll tell you later.
*Skywing Gundam finally reaches the apartment. It hovers in the air for a moment before it begins to land. Its wings flap gracefully as it makes its descent.
DEUCE: *proudly* Ladies and gentlemen, Chibodee, your pick, introducing the Skywing Gundam.
DOMON: I have three things to say about this. 1.) You stole my pose. 2.) The name sounds a lot like the name of the Gundam you've forced me to use. And 3.) Why the hell does it look like Heero Yuy's Wing Zero Custom?
DEUCE: Before I answer that question, I have one of my own. How the hell do you know Heero Yuy? He's not even from your series!
DOMON: We met at Cartoon Network's annual picnic last year.
DEUCE: …Oh…Anyway, to answer your question, I based the design for my Skywing Gundam on Wing Zero Custom.
CHIBODEE: Oh man! How come Jersey Boy gets the cool machine?!
DEUCE: 1.) I'm the author. 2.) I designed it. And 3.) You suck! You don't deserve a Gundam this powerful! The only other person who even deserves a Gundam like this is Domon, but he already has a powerful Gundam!
DOMON: Yeah, but it's at your house.
DEUCE: *BEEP* you!
CHIBODEE: Well you know what?! Jersey sucks!
DEUCE: You take that back!
CHIBODEE: No! Nothing good ever came out of New Jersey!
DEUCE: What about the light bulb and the Miss America Pageant?! THEY came from Jersey! Oh, the Yankees SUCK!! And so do you!
CHIBODEE: Why you bastard! The Yankees are the greatest baseball team in the world! And I'm the greatest fighter this country has ever known!
DEUCE: Oh give me a break! You're not even real, Chibodee! You're a freaking cartoon character! You don't really exist! And as long as I'm here, you have no free will! I control everything you do! I control everything you say! I control everything that happens to you!
CHIBODEE: Prove it!
*Suddenly, Chibodee jumps off the balcony and tries to fly like a bird. He fails and plummets head first to the ground. Lightning then strikes the spot where he hit. A few moments later he staggers back into the apartment, slightly charred and still smoking.
MR. BLACK: Why da hell did ya do that fo, fool?
CHIBODEE: I don't know. I just suddenly felt compelled to jump off. Then I was struck by lightning.
DEUCE: Do you still doubt me?
CHIBODEE: Yup.
*Chibodee is struck by lightning again.
DEUCE: How about now?
CHIBODEE: Nope. And because of that, I'm gonna kick your ass!
*Chibodee makes a lunge for Deuce. Deuce just simply snaps his fingers and Chibodee disappears in a puff of smoke. Seconds later, a cat lands in Deuce's arms.
SAI: Where'd he go?!
ALLENBY: I don't know.
ARGO: O.O …?!
DOMON: He's gone!
DEUCE: Chibodee's not gone. He's right here.
RAIN: He is? I don't see him. Do you, George?
GEORGE: Nay. I don't see the buffoon anywhere.
MR. BLACK: Okay, fool. Where is he?
DEUCE: *indicating the cat he's holding* I told you, he's right here.
ALL: Chibodee's a CAT?!
ARGO: …?!
DEUCE: Of course. I changed him into a cat before he could hit me.
ALL: YOU?!
DEUCE: Well, yeah. Did you all forget that I'm an author?
*Everyone nods.
DEUCE: Do you know what being an author means?
*Everyone shakes their head "No."
DEUCE: Being an author means that you can do whatever and have whatever you want inside your stories. As an author, I have powers beyond comparison. I am an all powerful mage with powers beyond that of the Great Will of the Macrocosm!
SAI: The Great Will of the WHAT?!
DEUCE: Don't ask. I'm just referencing another anime series.
DOMON: Since you put it that way, I'm gonna go and write a story.
DEUCE: You can't.
DOMON: Why?
DEUCE: You're a fictional character. You can't do anything without having an author in the real world making you do it. Basically, you're all puppets to us authors.
ALL: WHAT?!
DEUCE: Don't worry. I'm not the kind of author who'll distort the personalities you were given when the guys at Sunrise, or me, in your case, Mr. Black, created you. Usually, anyway.
ALLENBY: That still doesn't explain why you turned Chibodee into a cat!
DEUCE: Oh, I'll tell you then. I prefer to use my powers and mess with the characters in my stories for comedic purposes more than I prefer to use my fists or my sword, Skywing and physically fight against you. I usually hold off on actually fighting until something or someone gets me really pissed off. I took it easy on Chibodee by making him a cat. I could have just as easily killed him. Ain't that right, Chibodee?
*Deuce scratches Chibodee behind the ear. Chibodee starts to purr.
CHIBODEE: Meow. ^_^ A/N: That's supposed to be a cat smiling.
RAIN: I think it's time to turn Chibodee back to normal, Deuce.
DEUCE: But he looks just like my cat. Can't I keep him like this just a little longer?
RAIN: No.
DEUCE: sigh Fine.
*Deuce sets Chibodee down and snaps his fingers. Chibodee resumes his regular body in a puff of smoke.
CHIBODEE: Hey! I was enjoying that! Why did you change me back?!
DEUCE: We're ready to go.
CHIBODEE: Well, let's go then!
ALL: Yeah!
*Moments later, at the outskirts of the city, the group prepares to leave for their first target. Domon hits his usual Gundam-calling pose.
DOMON: Rise, Shining Gundam!
*Shining Gundam appears.
DEUCE: *ripping off Domon* Rise, Skywing Gundam!
*Skywing Gundam appears.
MR. BLACK: Gundam! Get yo ass over here!
*Afro Gundam Saiyan Custom appears. For those of you who don't know or don't remember what this Gundam looks like, here's a little something to help you get an idea of its appearance. Picture Nappa from Dragon Ball Z. Put him on a diet. Now picture him as an African-American. Give him hair like Vegeta and you get something that looks very close to the Afro Gundam.
DOMON: Everybody ready? Then let's go!
*Mobile Trace Systems activate and the nine Gundams take off into the desert. In his mansion, Saddam watches them on a screen.
SADDAM: Oh, leaving town are they? Deploy Scud Gundams!
TO BE CONTINUED…
STALKER: All right, everyone, it's the moment you've been waiting for! The Shuffle Alliance and the military forces of Neo Iraq clash for the first time! Next time on Mobile Fighter G-Gundam, "Desert Storm! Attack on Iraq! Part 6: The First Confrontation." Ready…GO!
