Disclaimer: Sunrise owns the real Gundams and the G-Gundam characters. I own everything else. I'm thinking of putting the God Gundam up for auction on EBay.
DOMON: Don't you even dare do that!
DEUCE: Oh, please. You can't do anything to me. I'm much more powerful than you are. Let's continue this, shall we?
*Last time…
DOMON: Everybody ready? Then let's go!
SADDAM: Oh, leaving town are they? Then deploy Scud Gundams!
*Stalker appears.
STALKER: Now everyone. The time has finally come for the first real battle of this mission. The Shuffle Alliance and company are rushing into an ambush by Neo Iraq's army of Scud Gundams. Hopefully, they'll come out alive. Let's get things started! Gundam Fight all set? Ready…GO!
Desert Storm! Attack on Iraq!
Part 6: The First Confrontation
*The desert. The nine Gundams are racing for their first target.
ALLENBY: How much longer 'till we reach that production plant, huh?
MR. BLACK: It should be over dat sand dune right dare.
*The team reaches the top of the dune and stops. The facility lies sprawled out before them.
SAI: It's huge!
DOMON: So this is their production plant.
MR. BLACK: I don't tink dey's expectin' us. Let's go.
*They race down the side of the dune and enter the complex.
DOMON: *looking around* It's awfully quiet.
MR. BLACK: I agrees wit ya on dat.
ALLENBY: Where is everyone? This place is deserted.
GEORGE: It's almost as if they are…
CHIBODEE: …expecting us.
DOMON: Then everyone be on guard.
VOICE: There they are! Get them!
*Suddenly, hundreds of Scud Gundams leap out from behind the buildings and pour out of the warehouses, surrounding Domon and the others.
RAIN: An ambush!
SAI: Bro! We're surrounded!
CHIBODEE: And outnumbered!
DOMON: There's only one thing to do then.
DEUCE: *catching Domon's drift* Hell yeah.
ALLENBY: What's that, Domon?
DOMON: We fight our way through!
MR. BLACK: You're crazy, fool!
*Domon holds up his right hand. The King of Hearts crest appears on it.
DOMON: No, I'm not crazy. Have you forgotten? I'm the King of Hearts! I defeated the Devil Gundam not once, but three times! On three separate occasions! This is nothing compared to what I've done in the past!
*The others' crests start to glow.
CHIBODEE: That's right. We were completely surrounded by the entire Dark Army in Guyana and we all survived. We can do this!
SAI: I'm ready, bro! How about you, Mister?
ARGO: *nods*
GEORGE: Same here.
RAIN: Let's do this.
ALLENBY: Right!
DEUCE: I've been in since the start.
MR. BLACK: You's all crazy! …And I likes dat! Count me in!
DOMON: Okay! Ready…
ALL: GOOOO!!!!!
*They speed off into the enemy ranks.
SCUD GUNDAM TEAM LEADER: Open fire! Don't let the Shuffle Alliance survive!
*The freaky G-Gundam battle music starts. George and Chibodee are working together to try and force their way to one of the warehouses.
GEORGE: ROSE…BITS!
*Gundam Rose launches a bunch of its mechanical rose bits. The bits proceed to attack the nearest Scud Gundams.
CHIBODEE: You ain't so tough!
*Gundam Maxter draws its handguns and fires at the enemy. Only a few Scuds are destroyed by the two attacks.
CHIBODEE: Hmm…It looks like we're going to need to use the heavy artillery.
GEORGE: Right. ROSE HURRICANE!
CHIBODEE: BURSTING MACHINE GUN PUNCH!
*The two attacks tear through the Neo Iraqi ranks, mowing down dozens of Scud Gundams. In another part of the complex, Deuce and Mr. Black are fighting their way to the facility's power plant.
DEUCE: Skywing Javelin!
*Skywing Gundam hurls a beam javelin. The projectile impales three Scud Gundams.
MR. BLACK: Kamehameha!
*Afro Gundam unleashes a powerful Kamehameha Blast, blowing up a dozen Scud Gundams.
DEUCE: Aven Lance!
*Skywing Gundam speeds forward, using a beam javelin like a lance. At least ten Scuds are destroyed. Afro Gundam draws its two beam sabers and starts to attack like Anakin Skywalker did at the end of Star Wars: Episode II. Meanwhile, Sai Saici and Argo are slowly advancing to the main offices of the plant.
ARGO: Graviton Hammer!
*Bolt Gundam swings the Hammer over its head, beheading any Scud that is stupid enough to get near.
SAI: Shin Ryuusei Kochouken!
*Dragon Gundam launches an almost Kamikaze-like attack on the opposing Scud Gundams. Over at the main production building, the Kasshus and Allenby are trying to gain control of the building.
ALLENBY: Is there no end to these things?
*Noble Gundam uses its Beam Ribbon to destroy an attacking Scud.
RAIN: I don't know.
*Rising Gundam uses its Heat Naginata to slice an enemy Gundam in half.
ALLENBY: Noble Hula-hoop!
*Noble Gundam hurls the energy ring, destroying a column of Scuds.
RAIN: Ultimate bull's eye! Rising Arrow!
*Rising Gundam fires beam arrows into the advancing Scuds, picking them off one-by-one. Domon activates Shining Gundam's Super Mode using the "serene state of mind" bullshit Schwarz taught him. He then proceeds to attack the nearest Scud.
DOMON: *holds up right hand. The King of Hearts crest appears* This hand of mine is burning red! Its loud roar tells me to grasp victory! Here I go! Bakinetsu God Finger!
*Nothing happens.
DOMON: I said, Bakinetsu God Finger!
*Still nothing.
DOMON: *kicking the control panel* Come on you stupid Gundam! Do the God Finger, damn it!
*Kyoji appears beside Domon, scaring the shit out of the King of Hearts. Literally.
KYOJI: What the *BEEP* are you doing?! The Shining Gundam can't use the God Finger, you dumbass!
DOMON: Thanks a lot, Kyoji. You just made me shit myself, and I'm wearing the fight suit. Do you know how uncomfortable this is?!
KYOJI: Um…no. And I don't care. Just use the Shining Finger.
*Kyoji vanishes.
DOMON: *slaps himself in the head for being such an idiot* That's right. Shining Finger.
*Domon picks the fight suit/shit combo away from his ass, temporarily relieving the uncomfortableness; then prepare to do the Shining Finger.
DOMON: This hand of mine shines with an awesome power! Its bright cry tells me to defeat you! The ultimate- SHIIINIIING FINGER!!!
*Domon delivers a Shining Finger to every Scud Gundam within reach. Within a few hours, every Scud Gundam is destroyed. Charges are layed around the entire plant. The team evacuates and watches from a safe distance as the facility is destroyed. In his mansion, Saddam is pissed.
SADDAM: Damn it! My Scud Gundams failed to stop them!
*Bill Gates appears next to Saddam in a puff of smoke.
BILL: You've failed me again, Saddam.
SADDAM: *groveling at Bill's feet* M-M-Master! I'm sorry, master! Please forgive me! Give me one more chance, I'm begging you! It'll never happen again!
BILL: It had better not, or it's the "Fiery Pit of Eternal Torture via Teletubbies and Army Men Video Games" for you.
SADDAM: NOOOOOOOOOO…inhale…OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
BILL: But since I'm in a generous mood, I'll give you another chance. I have an army that is much more efficient than your pathetic Scud Gundams. It will also aid in the development of my Devil Gundam. Just don't fail me again…
TO BE CONTINUED…
STALKER: All right everyone, it's the moment you've been waiting for! The Shuffle Alliance discovers something completely horrifying: Neo Iraqi citizens, civilian and soldier alike, have been infected with DG Cells! Also, eerily familiar Mobile Suits are back: the Dark Army! This can only mean one thing: the Devil Gundam is almost complete! Next, on Mobile Fighter G-Gundam, "Part 7: Hell's Machine Almost Complete! Dark Army Returns!" Ready…GO!
