So, the little group of five set out on their way, traveling across
the world on some nameless adventure. Spirits and good times were high
and life was good.
"My feet hurt!" Jessica exclaimed for the seventh time in the
last twenty minutes. "Where are we going? We've fought fourteen monsters
in the last hour alone. I'm hungry. What are we doing out here? I'm getting
a headache. I forgot to bring a hat. It's hot out. I'm getting tired of
complaining."
"Jessica..." Harry sighed. "Shut up!"
For the rest of their walk, Jessica was actually silent. The
walk didn't last much longer for the group found themselves at a tiny little
farm.
"Wow, check it out everyone!" Florence exclaimed. "Real chocobos!
These are real chocobos! I've always wanted to see one!"
A young man walked up to the group. He was wearing dark orange
overalls and a straw hat. "Nah, those ain't real chocobos. They're just
cardboard cut outs," he explained as he stepped forward. Promptly, one
of the chocobos fell down revealing it was nothing but cardboard.
Florence sighed sadly as she saw the cut out fall over.
"I'm Choco Jill-" the man began but was quickly interrupted.
"Jill? Isn't that a girl's name?" Jim questioned.
"True, but when your a farmer, it's normal to call a boy Jill,
kinda like callin' a girl Bob. Anyway-" again Choco Jill was interrupted
by Jim.
"But I'm a goat farmer, myself, and I've never heard of a guy
named Jill or a girl named Bob before."
"Ah, but ya see, chocobo farmers are a little different. Our
ways are strange and-"
"But I have an uncle who used to be a chocobo farmer out west,
and he was never named Jill."
"Yes, but you have to understa-"
"I mean, is it really some farmer thing or are you just trying
to find excuses for a name like Jill. I mean, who would name their baby
boy Jill? That just doesn't make sense to me."
"Well, it's quite simple if you just lis-"
"And what kind of girl would be named Bob? That's kind of a silly
name for a girl. The parents would have to be pretty warped to name their
girl Bob. Not to mention naming their boy Jill. I don't usually go back
and forth like this, but Jill.. Come on! Like I said before, who would
name their baby boy Ji-"
It was at this point that Choco Jill punched Jim right in the
jaw, knocking him to the ground.
"Thanks, I've been wanting to do that for years!" Jessica exclaimed.
"Um.. is it normal to twitch like that?" Florence inquired curiously
as she inspected Jim.
"Anyway, as I was saying... I'm Choco Jill, the owner of this
farm. The reason that we don't have any real chocobos is that they all
ran away. I'd really appreciate it if you could catch some for me. You
can even keep some to get past the lagoon."
"Why do we need chocobos to get past the lagoon?" Harry asked.
"Because of the Wigfarm Zoloms. You don't even want to know about
them."
"So how do we catch chocobos?" Florence asked.
"It's quite simple really. Chocobos love bougon cheese, so all
you have to do is lure them in with it and then hop on while their eating
the cheese. They're very tame animals and won't attack without reason.
Just bring a few chocobos back and then ride the rest through the lagoon.
One thing to remember about the lagoon, don't let the smell get to you."
"The smell?" Jessica questioned but before Choco Jill could explain
to her about it, Harry popped up with another question.
"Bougon cheese, eh? Where can we get some?"
"I'd give you some, but I sold my last block to some guy dragging
a really big fish." The group exchanged glances, there was no need for
words. They knew that Jimbles and Olaf had already gone by. They had to
hurry if they were to catch up to him. "However, I can tell you how to
make some yourself. It shouldn't be too hard. I have everything we need...
except for the milk."
"What kind of milk do you need?" Harry inquired.
"Goat," Choco Jill said plainly. All eyes turned to Sarah. The
poor goat looked up at the group worriedly and then started moving slowly
away from the others.
"I'm not milking her!" Jessica cried out.
"Neither am I," Florence stated evenly.
"I don't think she wants to be milked," Harry said, looking back
at Sarah who had tried to make herself invisible without success.
"Well, unfortunately the only one who might actually be able
to milk her is unconscious," Florence said, glaring at Choco Jill.
"Hey, he kept on talking too much, and making fun of my name,
I only did what had to be done," Jill defended.
"Maybe we should just try waking him up," Harry suggested.
"That's probably the best idea," Jessica agreed.
"Hold on a second," Choco Jill said, turning from the others.
"I'll be right back." He walked off and soon returned carrying a pail of
ice water. "This'll be a breeze." With that, he dumped the cold water all
over Jim.
Jim proceeded to shoot up ten feet into the air screaming like
a banshee.
"That worked surprisingly well," Jessica commented as she watched
Jim crash back into the ground.
"Okay Jim, we need you to do something. It's very, very important.
You have to milk Sarah," Harry told Jim and he knelt down beside him.
"You soaked me with ice water for that?" Jim said indignantly.
"Yes we did, now hurry up. There's no time to waste."
So, Jim sat up, took the bucket of ice water and walked over
to Sarah. "Come on Sarah. Come here, girl. I just want to get a little
bit of milk, okay Sarah?" Jim called to Sarah as he slowly and cautiously
approached her.
"Okay, stop laughing and help me out of the fence! Oh come on,
how did I know she'd kick me so hard? You said we didn't have any time
to waste, so get me untangled from this fence and hold Sarah down," Jim
commanded peevishly. Half of his body seemed to be wrapped around the fence
that would normally hold in chocobos. The others were laughing so hard
they felt as if their sides were about to burst.
Florence and Jessica pulled Jim free from the fence while Jill
and Harry carefully held Sarah so she wouldn't kick Jim again. Together,
they managed to milk Sarah. The poor goat meanwhile, sat there, irate,
with the combination of a grimace and a scowl.
"There, all done. Now, just catch a couple of chocobos and send
them back here. Thanks to all of you," Choco Jill said as he handed a brick
of bougon cheese to Florence. "It was a pleasure meeting you. Farewell!"
The group turned and left the ranch behind as they began their
search for a chocobo.
"That guy was really weird, and with a name like Jill. Come on,
his parents must have been crazy," Jim said.
"Jim..." Harry sighed, "Shut up!"
"Quiet down you two and listen. Can you hear it?" Florence asked.
She was holding the bougon cheese above her head to bring in the chocobos.
Jim and Harry quieted down and carefully listened, they heard
a cry in the distance. "Waaark! Wark wark!" It was the sound of the chocobos.
The stamping of chocobo feet and spots of yellow were in the distance.
"Wow, check it out. They're actually coming!" Jessica exclaimed
gleefully.
Their happiness soon changed to fear as a dozen chocobos were
soon on top of them. They trampled around, snatched the cheese and began
fighting for it.
Harry screamed as he tried jumping on top of one of the large
birds and was quickly thrown back. "Damn, what do we do? They'll eat all
the cheese before we can catch them."
Suddenly, Sarah let out a goatish battle cry which was followed
by a high pitched call from Jim, "Alalaorfaleed!" Sarah could be seen stampeding
towards the chocobos, Jim mounted on her back, the Bungle Sword held high
in the air.
In a cloud of dust, it was all over. The chocobos lay unconscious
on the ground, beside them lay Jim. Sarah stood before them all, her head
held high in pride.
"Great job, Sarah!" Jessica exclaimed. She ran over and hugged
the goat.
"Now, we'll each take one chocobo. Except for Jim and Sarah,
they'll share one. We'll send the other eight back to Jill's farm. They'll
know the way," Florence explained.
After they got everything ready and woke up Jim, they set off
again. Sarah sat upon Jim's head as each rode down the plains heading to
the Wigfarm Lagoon. When they finally got there, they were disgusted.
"Oh goodness gracious! It's all sewage! This is gross!" Jessica
screeched.
"Oh, the smell is awful. Thankfully we have the chocobos and
we don't have to actually walk through this stuff. Come on, let's go,"
Harry said.
So they set off through the Wigfarm Lagoon, each plugging their
noses. That's when they met up with the Wigfarm Zoloms.
"Ew, look at all these freaky little purple snakes," Florence
said as some swam towards her chocobo. "Die!" she yelled as she slapped
them away with a rubber chocobo.
They crossed with little problem, and soon found themselves at
a cave entrance. There were words painted over top a sign.
"What does it say?" Harry inquired as they moved closer.
Jim hopped off of his chocobo and went to investigate. "I think
it used to say 'Hako Wig Plant'."
"And what does it say now?" Harry hopped off of his chocobo and
stood by Jim. There in whipped cream letters, it read: OLAF.
