Chapter Nine: The Words of the Planet

"Pickles... hamsackle... Hey ther... woa... it's like a... jibbig.... rainbow... Flibba flabba, where's meh... creamed... turkey... loozenlop..." Harry mumbled and murmured. With those muttered words, Harry fell straight forward, flat on his face.
"Do you think he's going to wake up?" Florence asked, standing up and inching her way closer to Harry.
"Who knows, maybe he's just finding a way to get closer to the planet. It's all a bunch of nonsense if you ask me," Jessica sighed.
"Freedom!" Jim hollered as he pulled the rest of his body free from the junk. He gasped for breath and began grabbing air particles and stuffing them in his mouth. "Air, precious air! Oh sweet oxygen, how I love thee!"
"Did you find any hair gel, Jim?" Jessica inquired with a snicker.
"No, I did not," replied Jim, indignantly. "However, I did learn that being stuck in a cramped hole for a long time with no ventilation can leave someone quite breathless."
"Well that's good. You're never too old to learn something new." Jessica tried not to burst out laughing but wasn't doing very well.
"It's nice to know that my suffering amused you!" Jim barked.
Between muffled chuckles, Jessica replied, "No, your suffering doesn't amuse me in the slightest. Well, maybe it does, but that's not what I'm laughing at. It's your hair!" She immediately burst out in a fit of laughter.
Jim stared at her in shock. "My hair? No, not my hair!" He began to scream and started searching frantically for a mirror or some other reflective object. When at last he did find one, he found his hair had become a large, round, chunk of frizzled and tangled blonde hair with sloppy whipped cream coating the better part of it. "M-my hair," he stuttered and began to cry.
"Get yourself together Jim!" Florence exclaimed as she picked Jim up and began to shake him around, slapping him across the face.
"No, no, no! That's not how you do it Florence. Just watch me and you'll see how it's done." Jessica walked over to Jim and began to shake him, knee him in the stomach and throw him down into a pile of whipped cream.
"Jessica, you just knocked him unconscious."
At this point Sarah woke up and walked over to Jim. She poked him with her snout and then licked his face. Jim soon began showing signs of life again. He smiled up at Sarah, and the goat proceeded to chew on Jim's hair.
"Let go of that, Sarah! Come on now, stop chewing on my hair!" Jim commanded. The goat kindly obeyed and then walked over top of Jim, stepping on his face, to look around the ruins of the Hako Wig Plant. "My life just gets worse and worse."
"Don't worry about it Jim. We'll fix up your hair somehow. Maybe we can get you a nice new hat at Junon. A big polka-dot hat," Jessica said.
"Oh right, Polka City. Junon is the single most annoying city on the planet. It's run by a polka worshipping organization," Jim grumbled.
"Now it's not just an organization, Jim. It's a cult. There's a world of difference," Jessica corrected.
"Isn't Junon run by Gengai?" Florence asked.
"Well, almost. The Gengai corporation does run things, but not the Gengai family itself. They used to be a more influential force in Junon, but after the polka cult got hold of the mayor, Gengai decided to leave them alone. I think they were a little too freaked out," Jessica explained. "Now it's just Polka City, as it's called among many of the locals and outsiders alike. Everything polka can be found there. I visited Polka City once. It's a fascinating place."
"So, when do we leave?" Jim questioned.
"As soon as Harry over there wakes up," Florence replied with a sigh.
As if on cue, there was a low moan that came from Harry's direction. The three looked over to the sound and found the chocolate marshmallow sitting up, rubbing his head. "I can see it now. I have seen the planet. The planet has spoken to me! I know our meaning, and our purpose."
"Really? Then tell us Harry," Florence said with interest.
"It said... Um, it said... Well, the truth is... I uh..."
"Come on, spit it out!" Jessica exclaimed.
"I sort of forgot what the planet said, exactly," Harry said with embarrassment.
"You forget?" Jessica screeched. "You forget! You've wasted precious hours of my life with your planet talk and you forget what it said?" She leapt forward, trying to strangle Harry. Luckily for Harry, Jim and Florence managed to grab the maddened woman. "Let me go! Let me at him! Come on, let me go!"
"No way, Jess. We aren't going to let you hurt Harry. Just calm down," Jim said firmly.
Jessica sighed and stopped struggling. "I'm sorry. I'll calm down. Can you let me go?"
Florence and Jim both smiled and they released their grip on Jessica. As soon as they had done so, Jessica jumped again, screaming as she started to strangle Harry.
Both Florence and Jim winced as Harry was beaten. "That has got to hurt."
"I'm just glad that it isn't me."
"Lord the pain! Why isn't anyone helping me? Please end the pain! No! Not there! Ahhh!" Harry screamed in pain.
"Should we just start going to Junon?" Florence asked.
"No, we'll wait. This is actually kind of entertaining. Where's the popcorn when you need it?" Jim replied.