I continued down the road in my Porsche 911 untill I came to China Town. Although China Town is beautiful, especially at night, Chinese people can be very stinky. Right when I got to China Town, it smelt like rotten eggs.

*note* The above comment is not meant to be racist or single out Chinese people. Remember, all people can be stinky, not just Chinese people...

As I drove to my favorite resturaunt, Fook Yu Man, I saw many people selling fruits and other assorted goods. They looked delicious, but I had to save my appetite for the Fook Yu Man Poo Poo Platter. I could not resist it's scrumptious brown sauce. I could taste it in my mouth now.

While driving slowly past the gastly smell of the Chinese fruit-sellers, I spotted something strange. A cluster of pink, human-sized bunnies were all moving about at the end of the alley. This struck me curious, so I hopped out of my Porsche 911 to see what all the fuss was about. I grabbed my Oxi- Clean spray bottle just in case...

Just to feel like a super agent, I climbed up the boxes leading up to the fire escape ladder on the side of the apartment on the side of the apartment and hung off the ladder by my legs. I was inches away from one of the bunnies on the outside of the circle.

The Chinese smell was starting to get to me. I could feel the stench crawling up my nose. A sneeze blasted out of my mouth and, unfortunately, about ΒΌ cup of snot landed on the bunny's head.

*Director's Cut* (What is UP with this guy? I mean first, he's goin around, smellin people's neighborhoods, and now he's measuring his snot? Does he do this on a regular basis so that he knows how much snot comes out when he sneezes on someone?)

I panicked. I started spraying my Oxi-Clean on the snot just as the bunny- man turned around. I sprayed it in his eyes. His hands immediately shot up to his eyes as he let out a manly scream. I could tell he would be blind for the rest of his life. A few seconds after the bunny-man screamed, a bunch of other bunny-men turned around.

That is when I got a clear view of what was going on inside the circle. There, beyond all the bunny-men, was a man dressed in a butterfly costume. The wings were all torn up and his glasses were completely shattered. "Poor guy...", I thought.

I then felt a sharp pain in my gut. It was a big pink bunny-man paw. Theses punches continued all over my body until I heard a faint, but high whistle. Similar to a dog whistle. The bunny-men immediately left, and I was left hanging there with a small trickle of blood flowing out of my mouth.

I quickly jumped down from my perch on the fire escape and attended to the butterfly-man. "Are you ok?" I asked. "Yeah, I'm fine.", he said. "What happened?" I asked. "Those bunnies got on my case. All I wanted to do was protect the cute little Chinese kids from all the porn pictures posted up everywhere, and I get beat up! Life is so unfair...", he said, sounding depressed.

I got out my notebook and pencil. "Was there anything you blocked out that might have offended these bunny-men? I asked. "Well, I did block out this Empire man poster. He was rubbing some carpet, and it was very inappropriate.", he said, matter-of-factly. "Hmm, interesting.", I thought out loud. "But what would the Empire Man have to do with bunnies?" "Don't ask me, I'm just trying to do my job, to protect kids from sex posters in China Town.", he said, and shrugged

*Director's Cut* (WE LOVE YOU MSN BUTTERFLY!)

"Well, hey, I'm gonna go get some Poo Poo Platter at Fook Yu Man, would you like to join me?" I asked politely. "Thanks, but no thanks, I've got kids to protect and bunny-men to stay away from. I've seen some of them over there at Fook Yu Man.", he said, sounding paranoid. "Alright, suit yourself"

I jumped in my Porsche 911 and took off. I wonder if there would be any bunny-men at Fook Yu Man. I sped up down the tiny streets. I was mighty hungry after all this detective work. I parked my car on the already crowded street and walked in.

Delicious smells filled my nose as I strolled into Fook Yu Man. I drooled as I thought of the steamy Poo Poo Platter slithering it's way down my throat. I walked up to the counter and said a friendly hello. The man at the counter gave me a dirty look. Hmm...that's odd, usually the man at the counter gives me a smile even though I estimate that he is not glad to see me at all.