Chapter Twenty-Four: Blowing Up The Corporate Ladder
"We have to get to Olaf, but how?" Florence asked.
"There must be a way to get to him... But with the whole northern crater sealed off..." Harry thought aloud.
"You know, there may be a way to work around that," Kevinda spoke up. "Back when Gengai was digging up at the crater, they built a direct tunnel route between it and Wigfarm. It might still be there."
"Then it's decided! We're heading for Wigfarm!" Jim exclaimed.
"But whut'f them Gengai dawgs git in thuh way?" Ziggy asked.
"Then we'll just have to kick them in their spoony little marmosets!" Chazzy shouted. This was met with large grins and nods of approval from the others.
"And we'll take their spoons too!" Muffie cried. She smiled widely and lifted her arms in the air victoriously. Odd glances were the only response. She coughed nervously. "Well... Maybe we can do that another time..."
The Hairwind cascaded through the air towards Wigfarm. As they came upon the great metropolis, they discovered a number of changes. The Polka Rey, the giant weapon that had once resided in Junon, was now integrated into the city and aimed directly at the northern crater.
Even more alarming was the large whirlpool in the ocean, just north of the city. Rising up from it was a teddy bear coated in diamonds that reflected the sun's rays in all directions.
"It's a VEAPON!" Harry exclaimed.
"Not just any VEAPON. It's a Topaz VEAPON!" Jim added.
"But, those are diamonds and-" Jessica protested.
"The Topaz VEAPON is heading straight for Wigfarm!" Kevinda cried, urgently.
"What do we do about it?" Florence asked.
"We set back 'n' watch thuh show," Ziggy replied with a grin.
"Sounds good to me," said Harry.
"I'll make some popcorn," offered Chazzy.
"President! The Topaz VEAPON is emerging!" a Gengai officer exclaimed.
Doofus looked out the large window of his office at the glistening teddy in the distance. He took a deep breath from his inhaler and spoke in a calm, cold, nerdishly evil voice, "Fire the Polka Rey."
The power plants around Wigfarm began to pump energy. One by one, the plants emitted great plumes of green smoke. Power was flooding into the Polka Rey. It seemed to twitch and sizzle as energy coursed through it. With a mighty flare, it shot forth a stream of gold at the VEAPON.
Of course, the diamond clad teddy wasn't about to be defeated so easily. From the VEAPON's paws, deep blue bolts of magic were launched towards Wigfarm. As the final bolt shot out, the golden stream collided with the Topaz VEAPON and sent it scattering into nothingness.
The blue bolts continued onwards, unhindered. Doofus gazed forward with wide eyes. His glasses then slipped down his nose and fell to the floor. "Where have my glasses gone off to now?" he questioned himself, filled with frustration. He blindly knelt down to the floor and started searching for his glasses. He suddenly heard a crunch. "Oh, this is the worst possible day. My glasses are broken! Those were my last pair..." As he said the words, the blue bolts collided with his office, and the rest Gengai building. Explosions echoed out as the blue bolts tore through the walls like a spoon through pudding. The office was incinerated, and the entire building collapsed in a mighty burst of flame.
"Yeehaw!" Ziggy shouted at the top of his lungs. He swung his cowboy hat in the air and dig a little jig on the spot. "It's 'bout time Gengai got whut it desarves! Yeehaw!" Chazzy joined Ziggy in the jig. The two locked arms and danced around in a circle.
The others had mixed emotions about what had just occurred. None of them really liked Gengai, but to see a hundred people die in an instant...
"Come on, let's head down there," Jim said, solemnly.
"We can't land this spoony airship in the middle of Wigfarm. There's only one thing we can do: parachute!" Chazzy exclaimed.
"Let's go, then!" Jim's solemn attitude turned to excitement at the thought of parachuting. Everyone geared up and went down to the deck. The wind whipped about them as the airship flew over Wigfarm.
"I think that's the place!" Kevinda called and pointed downwards. "Everyone try to land there."
"Here goes nothing!" Harry exclaimed as he leapt off the Hairwind.
"I can't believe we went this far just to end up back here," Jessica sighed. She looked over the edge uneasily. "Uh... Maybe you guys should go on ahead."
"Oh, come on Jess! Don't worry about a thing!" Jim grabbed onto her and jumped, dragging a screaming Jessica behind.
"Is ya sure thuh way t'thuh no'thurn crater's down thar?" Ziggy inquired, glancing at Kevinda.
"Yes, now go!" She shoved Ziggy off of the airship and he plummeted towards the ground below. Kevinda followed after him.
"I hope there are some spoons on the way down!" Muffie exclaimed and leapt into the air, down towards Wigfarm.
"So, what's going to happen to the Hairwind while we're gone?" Florence asked, looking over the edge.
"We're going to take the ship to the northern crater for you guys once you get out," a nearby man in orange responded for Chazzy.
"Yeah, what he said," Chazar replied and jumped off the ship.
"Well, here goes nothing!" Florence exclaimed and jumped.
"What are the odds that we would all get stuck in the same tree?" Jim asked.
"Especially since trees in Wigfarm are virtually non-existent," commented Harry.
"I know. You'd probably have to be some world class mathematician to figure this one out."
"Why don't you two be quiet for a second and help us get down from here," Jessica snapped. Her legs were dangling a few feet from the ground, and her parachute stuck on a branch.
"..."
"Parrot, can you shut up for a minute! I'm trying to process what just happened here!"
"Stop arguing you guys. With Doofus, Pinky, and Jirdiegger all gone, we're unemployed. The Clerks are now free agents. I bet there will be tons of work just rolling in!"
The familiar sounds of Parrot, Rusty, and Helga floated to the ears of the party caught in the tree.
"Hey, we have a job for you!" Harry called out.
"Harry," Jessica cried in a whisper, "what are you doing? These are the Clerks! They threw us in jail, remember? They aren't going to help us!"
"Look at what we have here," Helga said, slyly. "It appears that Jim and company have fallen right into our laps."
"Hey, I thought we were free agents now," Rusty said. "We don't have to catch them anymore."
"You're right... Well then, you guys want out of that tree?"
"Yes we do! And I'll give you all the spoons I have if you get us down!" Muffie exclaimed.
"But, you don't have any spoons," Chazzy commented.
"Shh! They don't know that!"
"..."
"Quiet, Parrot! Leave the negotiating to us! It's agreed," Rusty said. The Clerks then began to get the group out of the tree. It took some time, but they were free at last. "Now, hand over the spoons."
"Hah! The joke's on you! I don't have any!" Muffie cackled and then began to run.
"Why you little... Let's get 'em!" Helga exclaimed.
"Oh great. Let's get out of here!" Harry shouted and ran after Muffie.
"But it's eight of us against three of them," Jessica tried to reason.
"I don't like those odds, let's go!" Jim cried, running off, once again grabbing Jessica and dragging her behind.
The party ran from the Clerks and seemed to lose them when Kevinda shouted, "Stop!" Everyone skidded to a halt and Kevinda pointed down to a manhole cover. "I think this is the way to the northern crater!"
"Why would they make the entrance to the tunnel a random manhole in the middle of the city?" Jessica inquired.
"So it'd be easier to find, of course!" Chazzy exclaimed. "Spoony girl and your smootin' questions..."
Ziggy lifted the cover and soon the party was on their way down into the darkness. The path ahead seemed like it went on forever.
"It's going to take us ages to get to the northern continent by this tunnel," Florence said.
"Not at all! Where there's a will, there's a way, and where there's a way, there's a giant robot thing!" Kevinda exclaimed. The sound of large gears moving echoed from behind the party. Everyone turned to see that she was riding on the shoulders of a terrifying red and teal robot.
"Where did you find that thing?" Jessica exclaimed in shock.
"Back there," Kevinda said, pointing behind her. "It's called the Stately Bumpkin!"
Florence looked up at the monstrous robot. "Well, if this will get us there faster, let's go!" Everyone climbed up on the Stately Bumpkin. They were now swiftly travelling towards their final confrontation with Olaf, the fate of the world resting upon their shoulders.
"We have to get to Olaf, but how?" Florence asked.
"There must be a way to get to him... But with the whole northern crater sealed off..." Harry thought aloud.
"You know, there may be a way to work around that," Kevinda spoke up. "Back when Gengai was digging up at the crater, they built a direct tunnel route between it and Wigfarm. It might still be there."
"Then it's decided! We're heading for Wigfarm!" Jim exclaimed.
"But whut'f them Gengai dawgs git in thuh way?" Ziggy asked.
"Then we'll just have to kick them in their spoony little marmosets!" Chazzy shouted. This was met with large grins and nods of approval from the others.
"And we'll take their spoons too!" Muffie cried. She smiled widely and lifted her arms in the air victoriously. Odd glances were the only response. She coughed nervously. "Well... Maybe we can do that another time..."
The Hairwind cascaded through the air towards Wigfarm. As they came upon the great metropolis, they discovered a number of changes. The Polka Rey, the giant weapon that had once resided in Junon, was now integrated into the city and aimed directly at the northern crater.
Even more alarming was the large whirlpool in the ocean, just north of the city. Rising up from it was a teddy bear coated in diamonds that reflected the sun's rays in all directions.
"It's a VEAPON!" Harry exclaimed.
"Not just any VEAPON. It's a Topaz VEAPON!" Jim added.
"But, those are diamonds and-" Jessica protested.
"The Topaz VEAPON is heading straight for Wigfarm!" Kevinda cried, urgently.
"What do we do about it?" Florence asked.
"We set back 'n' watch thuh show," Ziggy replied with a grin.
"Sounds good to me," said Harry.
"I'll make some popcorn," offered Chazzy.
"President! The Topaz VEAPON is emerging!" a Gengai officer exclaimed.
Doofus looked out the large window of his office at the glistening teddy in the distance. He took a deep breath from his inhaler and spoke in a calm, cold, nerdishly evil voice, "Fire the Polka Rey."
The power plants around Wigfarm began to pump energy. One by one, the plants emitted great plumes of green smoke. Power was flooding into the Polka Rey. It seemed to twitch and sizzle as energy coursed through it. With a mighty flare, it shot forth a stream of gold at the VEAPON.
Of course, the diamond clad teddy wasn't about to be defeated so easily. From the VEAPON's paws, deep blue bolts of magic were launched towards Wigfarm. As the final bolt shot out, the golden stream collided with the Topaz VEAPON and sent it scattering into nothingness.
The blue bolts continued onwards, unhindered. Doofus gazed forward with wide eyes. His glasses then slipped down his nose and fell to the floor. "Where have my glasses gone off to now?" he questioned himself, filled with frustration. He blindly knelt down to the floor and started searching for his glasses. He suddenly heard a crunch. "Oh, this is the worst possible day. My glasses are broken! Those were my last pair..." As he said the words, the blue bolts collided with his office, and the rest Gengai building. Explosions echoed out as the blue bolts tore through the walls like a spoon through pudding. The office was incinerated, and the entire building collapsed in a mighty burst of flame.
"Yeehaw!" Ziggy shouted at the top of his lungs. He swung his cowboy hat in the air and dig a little jig on the spot. "It's 'bout time Gengai got whut it desarves! Yeehaw!" Chazzy joined Ziggy in the jig. The two locked arms and danced around in a circle.
The others had mixed emotions about what had just occurred. None of them really liked Gengai, but to see a hundred people die in an instant...
"Come on, let's head down there," Jim said, solemnly.
"We can't land this spoony airship in the middle of Wigfarm. There's only one thing we can do: parachute!" Chazzy exclaimed.
"Let's go, then!" Jim's solemn attitude turned to excitement at the thought of parachuting. Everyone geared up and went down to the deck. The wind whipped about them as the airship flew over Wigfarm.
"I think that's the place!" Kevinda called and pointed downwards. "Everyone try to land there."
"Here goes nothing!" Harry exclaimed as he leapt off the Hairwind.
"I can't believe we went this far just to end up back here," Jessica sighed. She looked over the edge uneasily. "Uh... Maybe you guys should go on ahead."
"Oh, come on Jess! Don't worry about a thing!" Jim grabbed onto her and jumped, dragging a screaming Jessica behind.
"Is ya sure thuh way t'thuh no'thurn crater's down thar?" Ziggy inquired, glancing at Kevinda.
"Yes, now go!" She shoved Ziggy off of the airship and he plummeted towards the ground below. Kevinda followed after him.
"I hope there are some spoons on the way down!" Muffie exclaimed and leapt into the air, down towards Wigfarm.
"So, what's going to happen to the Hairwind while we're gone?" Florence asked, looking over the edge.
"We're going to take the ship to the northern crater for you guys once you get out," a nearby man in orange responded for Chazzy.
"Yeah, what he said," Chazar replied and jumped off the ship.
"Well, here goes nothing!" Florence exclaimed and jumped.
"What are the odds that we would all get stuck in the same tree?" Jim asked.
"Especially since trees in Wigfarm are virtually non-existent," commented Harry.
"I know. You'd probably have to be some world class mathematician to figure this one out."
"Why don't you two be quiet for a second and help us get down from here," Jessica snapped. Her legs were dangling a few feet from the ground, and her parachute stuck on a branch.
"..."
"Parrot, can you shut up for a minute! I'm trying to process what just happened here!"
"Stop arguing you guys. With Doofus, Pinky, and Jirdiegger all gone, we're unemployed. The Clerks are now free agents. I bet there will be tons of work just rolling in!"
The familiar sounds of Parrot, Rusty, and Helga floated to the ears of the party caught in the tree.
"Hey, we have a job for you!" Harry called out.
"Harry," Jessica cried in a whisper, "what are you doing? These are the Clerks! They threw us in jail, remember? They aren't going to help us!"
"Look at what we have here," Helga said, slyly. "It appears that Jim and company have fallen right into our laps."
"Hey, I thought we were free agents now," Rusty said. "We don't have to catch them anymore."
"You're right... Well then, you guys want out of that tree?"
"Yes we do! And I'll give you all the spoons I have if you get us down!" Muffie exclaimed.
"But, you don't have any spoons," Chazzy commented.
"Shh! They don't know that!"
"..."
"Quiet, Parrot! Leave the negotiating to us! It's agreed," Rusty said. The Clerks then began to get the group out of the tree. It took some time, but they were free at last. "Now, hand over the spoons."
"Hah! The joke's on you! I don't have any!" Muffie cackled and then began to run.
"Why you little... Let's get 'em!" Helga exclaimed.
"Oh great. Let's get out of here!" Harry shouted and ran after Muffie.
"But it's eight of us against three of them," Jessica tried to reason.
"I don't like those odds, let's go!" Jim cried, running off, once again grabbing Jessica and dragging her behind.
The party ran from the Clerks and seemed to lose them when Kevinda shouted, "Stop!" Everyone skidded to a halt and Kevinda pointed down to a manhole cover. "I think this is the way to the northern crater!"
"Why would they make the entrance to the tunnel a random manhole in the middle of the city?" Jessica inquired.
"So it'd be easier to find, of course!" Chazzy exclaimed. "Spoony girl and your smootin' questions..."
Ziggy lifted the cover and soon the party was on their way down into the darkness. The path ahead seemed like it went on forever.
"It's going to take us ages to get to the northern continent by this tunnel," Florence said.
"Not at all! Where there's a will, there's a way, and where there's a way, there's a giant robot thing!" Kevinda exclaimed. The sound of large gears moving echoed from behind the party. Everyone turned to see that she was riding on the shoulders of a terrifying red and teal robot.
"Where did you find that thing?" Jessica exclaimed in shock.
"Back there," Kevinda said, pointing behind her. "It's called the Stately Bumpkin!"
Florence looked up at the monstrous robot. "Well, if this will get us there faster, let's go!" Everyone climbed up on the Stately Bumpkin. They were now swiftly travelling towards their final confrontation with Olaf, the fate of the world resting upon their shoulders.
