Note: "Hasta la taco" was INTENTIONAL bad grammar, so if you thought of yelling at me because there's no "at" and it's "el taco," DON'T! *sigh * It's just a joke, people, sheesh!
OH! The contest, before I forget.... Ok, the first person to answer, I think spelled it wrong, as it's Shiori. But, then I wondered if it's only technically Shuuichi's mom, and someone said THAT, and then I got confused, so now I think everyone who answered correctly (including the first girl who said "Shori") Get the prize!!! Here it is!!
*Hands them each a shiny new penny* Don't spend it all in one place, now!!!
Again, one review response... I'm so damn lazy. Keaira: Thank you for your defense. Also, I mean absolutely NO disrespect to authors who choose to include yaoi in their stories. I have read some awesome stories on here, that the only thing I didn't like was the inclusion of yaoi. It is not the writers I have a problem with, yaoi goes against my beliefs, and I don't think the characters are gay anyways. That statement did come across wrong, as I can tell by your reaction. When I said lower myself to yaoi writing, I meant to the inclusion of something so dead-set against my beliefs. Not to say that anyone's writing is beneath me or my own. I do not claim to be a wonderful high authoress, or even a good one. I am merely a person doing what I do, writing what I write. I apologize if I offended anyone in that statement, I know you write yaoi, and I was not trying to speak against any authors... merely content that I do not find acceptable for myself to read. That is my belief. I was not meaning to refer to it as an inferior style of writing, I was referring to it as a PART of writing that I simply do not do, and think is wrong. Again, I am not calling any author inferior, or their style inferior. Yaoi is not a style, in my opinion. It is content, and plot, etc. I don't see it inferior... People write it just as wonderfully as people who don't... I just believe they are wrong in thinking that way, that's all. And that is my own opinion to hold. Write what you wish, so far, it's a free country last I checked. Thanks for reading! ^__^ To quote Vash the Stampede (who I also don't own), "LOVE AND PEACE!"
Alright, I'm finished my long rant now... story time, you say? Thought so....
I must apologize first... as that last chapter started to have a plotline... *hiss* No!!! Ack!! Must...make...it...stop!!! No plots allowed! This is random insanity, I say... NO PLOT!! MWA HAHAHA!!
BTW, the notes with Pierce talking? Those author spots in the ~~~ ~~~ things? She never said any of that.. heehee I made it up.. because I'm ME! and I'M the dang author!! MWA HAHAHA!!!
Oh, who's the "We" in the story you ask? No one really knows. Not really Pierce and Draith, they just keep watch… And if we DID know, we wouldn't tell you anyways. That's because we're authors. Yep. It's our prerogative… * start to sing* Oh God I'm old….
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the junk in here... I'm writing this before I write the fic, and who KNOWS what I'll put in, so keep in mind I own NOTHING!!! Nothing I say! Except Draith... for Draith is me, and I own myself, honest. James doesn't have a claim on me. O.O I mean... NO ONE has a claim on me! GO on, READ the thing, chikuso!! .
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*Draith is... you know, can we start ONE darn chapter where Draith is NOT sitting with a circle of sheepses?! No? Oh... well, ok then... she is.. fine! ::grumbles::*
Draith: Yes! Sheepses! My cottony minions! You have done super uber fantasik! Ich mag Sie! Alle Sie!! Ich wiess nicht was ich sag... sag ich Deutsche?! Ja!! Ack!! No! Sheepses, what have you DONE to me?!
Head Sheepses...Sheeps...SHEEP thing, Sam The First: We have stolen your mind, oh Author Formerly Known as The Mighty Draith-chan. We are now the Sheep of Perpetual Awakedness! Never shall you or the world sleep again! ATTACK!!!
*the sheepses collectively baa and roar in sheepish ferocity*
Draith: No! Sam, what are you doing?! I made you! I maaaaaaadeee yooouuuu!!!
*But Draith can speak no more, as she is trampled by the now-stampeding sheepses, led by Sam the First. Draith shall soon be no more, if no action is taken...*
Draith: No!!! Sheepses!!! You DO realize, if I am no more... there can be no more story?!?!
*the sheepses, who didn't seem to think this through BEFORE charging and trampling their authoress-creator-type-gal, stop where they are, and collectively baa in confusion*
Sam The First: Oh... right... heehee... BAA! Retreat!! BAA!! Retreat, sheepses, RETREAT!!!
*all of the sheepses retreat away from Draith... oh, and collectively baa as well*
Draith: ack.... ow... oh.. eee.... eeek!...pppoaaah!!...whoa....ppssjhhj....mmmmahh!!....oooof...
*Thus, after the sound of 200 sheep stepping OFF of the poor authoress, the story continues, while our poor bard attempts to live long enough to finish off the insanity....*
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I don't think I even have to tell you anymore... you're watching, right? What?! What in the seven hells do you MEAN you're not WATCHING?! What do you think you are DOING HERE?! *sigh* Will you WATCH LISTEN AND SMELL now?! I think you can smell now... I'm not sure... Is that really a good thing anyhow? I guess you'll find out...
Hiei glares at Kurama over as he "spars" with Draith. He starts to march over to where they are, only before he comes within 20 feet of them, a herd of wild elephants stampedes by. I mean really, why would a herd of TAME elephants stampede by? Why should we be forced to say "wild" when we all KNOW they had to be wild?! Just a thought, kids...
This startles the sparring two, and they immediately - who knows WHAT possessed them to do so -each hop onto the back of a galloping packaderm and ride off into the sunset.
~~~
Pierce: Isn't it NIGHTTIME by now, halfling?
Draith: Oh, so it is... Ok, they ride off into the fading dusk.
Pierce: I said NIGHT, baka.. NIGHT!!!
Draith: Fine, fine... picky author...
Pierce: Darn right.
~~~
So off they ride, into the NIGHT, as I've been so forced to say... Hiei and Pierce and Botan - yes she's still there... duh, baka... - look at the herd and disappearing pair with wide eyes. O.O Yep, just like that... honest. At last, right as the last elephanty thing is passing by, Hiei gets the bright idea to follow them, and hops up onto the back of a small elephant.
Pierce and Botan are too curious to let everyone else go, so they hop on as well... "GOULASH!!" Sorry, Pierce is still on Livewire, and it's affecting her brain waves... Pierce sits on the elephant and pets her bottle of Livewire lovingly. "Yes, precious... Mine... My own... MY precious Livewire!" she says over, and over, and over AGAIN to the bottle... that can't hear her anyways... oh well.
Botan giggles, and flies up above the herd on her oar. "Look at meeeeee!! I'm FLYING!" she yells.
Pierce looks at her suspiciously. "Hey! Did you drink Livewire too?!"
Botan looks at her, shocked. "Pierce, why ever would you say such a thing? I am the Toad of Faucet Town, mind you, I take no trinkets from Shoes that are the likes of YOU!"
o.O Yes, o.O. That's Pierce's expression... for about two seconds as she immediately cackles insanely and gulps down more Livewire. "Princess WhittleFoot will taste my totem pole! Mwa hahaha!" No one really knows what she meant... even us... strange.
Up ahead, Hiei is watching Kurama through murderous eyes. Three of them in fact. He nearly falls off his elephant, though, as all the beasts in the herd suddenly stop at a red light. They wait while herds of goats, wallabys, gophers, and nomads cross the other way. Then the light turns green, and off they go again. "What in the hells is WRONG with this place?!" he thinks.
Hiei... I can hear you! I'm the author, silly!! It comes from my demented mind!! thus Draith begins to ramble on about ponies, and blue skies in Shermanville under the desk lamp from Prague. *nod, nod*
The herd of elephanty animally thingers stops again, only to disappear entirely. The riders are all flumped - honest, it's a word... look it up! - to the ground in a most rough and unmannerly...uh, manner. Only Botan escapes, because, as we've mentioned folks, she's riding on her oar...Did she KNOW this would happen? Yes, we think it's a conspiracy between Botan and the kitchen sink too... It's a tweezer alliance, I tell you, a tweezer alliance!!! *cough*
Everyone sits on the ground. Except Pierce, who gets up and starts yelling random insane stuff while soaring high on her Livewire… high. "Whooo! Weeee!!" she giggles. "Oh! It's fun to smell the rain in the MOOOOORNING!" However, it can be noted, as you the reader CAN INDEED smell the story, the only scent in the air is NOT in fact rain, but the pungent odor that only a herd of Elephants can leave behind...
……………..
That's right, the smell of waffles.
Suddenly, a TV runs by... on little short legs that move very fast, its cord flying out behind it. The only thing showing on its blackened screen is the word
"COB"
in white block letters. Pierce, Hiei, Draith, Kurama, and Botan all look at the tv in shock. Hiei tries to slice it in half with his pretty katana, but, as the elephants did, it disappears into thick air. Pierce starts yelling that Armageddon is coming, and hides behind a magically appearing window shade. (side note, she ACTUALLY did this is "real" life...)
Another TV runs by of its own accord. With a cord. Ha, pun. Ahem. It also merely says
"COB"
on it's screen... Kurama looks at it, thinking. "Perhaps it is some type of message?"
Botan giggles. "No, silly... if it were a message, it would be written on the calamine lotion carried by the forklift through the sands of Brigadoon!" she waves away his silly suggestion.
All raise their eyebrows at Botan.
But before they can comment, one last TV runs by... it says, in the same way,
"COB COB COBBITY COB"
And then disappears before Hiei's pretty katana can slice it's circuits clean through.
"I definitely think there was a message." Kurama says.
Hiei stares at the fox, finally remembering his anger, and puts his hand on his sword hilt. "Kurama... you kissed my sister... prepare... to die."
~~~
Pierce: DRAITH!! it happened AGAIN!!! Someone said the "K" word!!
Draith: Will you CHILL OUT?! Sheesh... you'd think you were afraid of fluff...
Pierce: O.O I do not FEAR fluff... it's just.. the... the kids! They can't read it!
Draith: Yeh, right, we all know you are afraid... BWA HAHA!
Pierce: O.O
~~~
Hiei suddenly stops, and it looks like he and his line are being magically rewound, all quick-fast.. like a bunny. But not an evil one... a cute and furry one...just to spite O Short Evil Hiei-sama... heehee. He then is reset, and speaks. "Kurama... you sparred with my sister… prepare… to die."
Pierce thinks about this. "Actually, the ferry girl, also known as Princess WhittleFoot, said he DATED her, so there was lotsa spar-sparring going on, eh?" She winks, nods, and nudges Kurama, who looks bewildered that Pierce would SAY such a thing.
"Pierce, what are you SAYING?" Kurama looks nervous... his normally calm exterior broken down by the fear that Hiei will kill him...
Hiei looks incredibly, viciously, dangerously, ferociously P.O.ed. He charges at Kurama, and tries to slice him and dice him. He thinks he succeeds...
However, when everyone looks and expects to see something kiddies shouldn't even THINK about, there's nothing... absolutely nothing where Kurama was standing. Draith sighs at them all. "Good citizens of Confusedtownville City. Don't you realize you can't KILL anyone on this show?! Hiei! No murders! Kurama is safe now... I sent him far away." She looks smug. "Author Powers!"
Pierce looks smug as well. She gets out her Livewire bottle. "See, Hiei? HA! You are powerless, you can't even KILL anyone!! Bwa hahaha!" She sticks her tongue out at the fire demon, and drinks some more of her Livewire.
Draith chuckles. "Oh, don't stick your tongue out, unless you intend to USE it, Pierce!!" She giggles, and suddenly Hiei puts his pretty katana away, walks over to Pierce, and proves why this is true...
After, both of them glare at Draith. "Hey," she says, "Author powers ROCK!" She grins. They scowl. And yell. And look far too mad to just stand there... Draith senses this conflict, and runs... fast...far... etc.
Oh, look... Hiei can run faster... isn't that odd, now? But wait... he stops... and suddenly bursts into song...
"Yankee Doodle who'd have thunk, Yankee Doodle Dandy...Yankee Doodle got real drunk on just one pint of Brandy! Yankee Doodle we found out, Yankee Doodle Dandy...Yankee Doodle chickened out when dared to hit on Sandy! Yankee Doodle what a case, Yankee Doodle Dandy... Yankee Doodle has a taste for others' pre-chewed candy! Yankee Doodle what a lecher!, Yankee Doodle Dandy... Yankee Doodle, yep, you betcha, he's always been quite randy! Yankee Doodle don't be sad, Yankee Doodle Dandy... Yankee Doodle, though you're bad, you've always come in handy!" he then looks WAY confused, and stares off into space wondering what happened to his peaceful existence with the purple trout from Kalamazoo...
Purple trout from Kalamazoo?
Pierce giggles at Hiei's song. "I know! I know! You sparred with me... now YOU'RE high on LiveWire too!!! WEEE!!!" she yells and starts dancing about flinging handfuls of sand into the air. Then she throws sand at Hiei. This isn't smart...
Hiei looks over at Pierce. "Et tu, brute?"
Pierce looks at him, and in all seriousness, replies. "Monkey see, monkey do?"
Hiei nods. And, it is decided. They shall head to a bar.
Draith yells. "Hey! I didn't say you could go to a bar!! I'M THE AUTHORESS IN CHARGE HERE!!"
Pierce smirks deviously. "Not anymore, you aren't!"
~~~
Draith: Uhm, Pierce... do you really think a bar scene is appropriate for the youngsters?
Pierce: Ok, you know what... I give it up. This is insanity, it's written at 4am, why should kids even be reading it? I don't CARE anymore! I'm in charge now, or something, and I say, BAR SCENE!!
Draith: o.O Oh, uhm, ok... sure... whatever you say, Pierce.
~~~
And so Hiei, Pierce, Botan, and Draith head off to a bar. Three of them are high. Or, we THINK Botan is. But we always wondered about her anyways... didn't you? Thought so.
The troop of four enters the front of a nice Irish-looking tavern. None of them seem to wonder how they got from a white padded room to an Irish tavern. It's not important. We all love ale. Ale good. Normalcy bad. Teach the children. But not to drink. That's against the law. Just to be weird. Cause that's ok. We think...
Hiei takes a seat at the bar, and yells at the tender behind the counter. "Red rum, red rum! Yo-ho-ho! Get me a drink, or die instead... oh." Ah, the first of many horrible rhymes by our favorite fire demon. Even high he has no poetic ability. *takes on mocking tone* Cuz he pursues STRENGTH he has no time for our trivial... Uhm, anyways...
The tender gets him a pint of Livewire. This appears to be the special of the day. Hiei downs the pint in one gulp. "The moles are coming, Pierce... you had better sit and spin and shake the llama before it storms the castle again." Hiei then orders another pint of the horrible high-making drink.
It begins to rain. Indoors.
"Oh goodness, RAIN?!" Botan shrieks, as she just did her hair, and the rain will most certainly turn it to putty in her hands. Who says blue hair was ever REALLY natural... And somewhere, Koto laughs, knowing she was right...
Pierce watches, amused, and hands Botan a drink. "Here!" It is not Livewire, however, and is actually nice, strong, ever-so-tasty Fae Ale. Botan drinks it down.
Hiei snarls rabidly. "ET TU BRUTE!!?!?" He grabs at the mug and, seeing it empty, he goes to the tap and refills it. He drinks it.
Draith has run off. Yes, run off. It seems the bartender and owner of the tavern was in fact Celeb, her ex-husband. Don't ask. We don't like to talk about it. Draith doesn't either, as she's off "sparring" with HIM now... guess they weren't so ex-ish after all...
Pierce watches in strained-to-the-limits amusement as Hiei and Botan walk to the Karaoke machine that Pierce suddenly made appear with her newfound Authoress Powers. The Kangaroos on the bar stools clap in beat and rhythm to music that doesn't exist. The wallabys that ran by before are all on the tables and chairs, cheering the two on.
Hiei and Botan prepare to sing...
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*Draith looks at the screen in horror*
Draith: What the heck?! Who took over my wonderful story?! NO!! PIERCE!! You can't have it!! I am the Authoress Power Nazi! NO POWER FOR YOU! *sighs*
*Sam The First comes to stand by Draith, with his 199 sheepses of fury*
Sam The First: Give it baaaaa-up. There's no turning back. The story has gone beyond insane. Baaaa-live with it! For we shall make sure no one sleeps as lone as the sheepses rule!!
*his 199 sheepses collectively baa*
Draith: NOOOO!!!
I have no clue what the next chapter will entail... honest, I don't... will there BE another? o.O
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Oh! *looks at those who received pennies* Hey, don't look so glum! A penny is a wonderful thing. A penny shaved is a penny spurned... or so I'm told. *nod, nod*
Heehee... feel cheated? *hands each of them a t-shirt that says, "I read all of Draith's fic so far, guessed her stupid question, and all I got was a stupid penny... and this shirt. Monkey see, Monkey do."* There! Wear it with pride!! *grins and giggles*
Also, side note… that little Yanky Doodle song? I don't own Yanky Doodle… but I wrote that all by myself! * looks proud*
REVIEW!!!
-Draith
