DISCLAIMER: I am not associated with Bayblade in any way.

Thanks to my reviewers: Kiina, I luv Kai, TechnoRanma, Ezj-Key, CrazyJen, Rumi-chan, FireKali, Titanicbabe, AngrySoul, Vialana, Mugs

AN: This chapter is rated R for the use of obscenities and m/m relations

~*~

NOTHING

"So, I'm good enough to kiss, but not good enough to fuck? Is that it Kai?" he bit out; his voice ugly and contorted in his rage.

I shivered at those almost violent words. His accusation made me feel like I wanted to cry, "No....I mean....oh I don't know,"

I sat there quivering, my head down; resting on my knees. I prayed that he would just go away. I didn't want to face him yet; in fact I never wanted to look at him again. My heart was still pounding at his nearness. My mouth tingled from his kisses, my throat however felt completely dry. I was ashamed at myself, at my actions; at my complete loss of control.

"Oh, Kai I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...I just....."

My heart warmed slightly at those mumbled words. I didn't want to raise my head, because I knew that he would force me to look at him and I didn't want to face his curious midnight eyes or answer any of his unspoken questions. I waited and waited, still with me head on top of my knees. I figured if I just stayed like this maybe - just maybe - he would give up and go away.

The bed creaked from his slight weight, as he sat back down upon it.

'No such luck,' I thought to myself.

"Kai," he called to me softly, again I refused even to acknowledge his presence. "Kai," he called louder. There was an uncomfortable silence and seemed to stretch on forever.

"Kai, please," he begged of me, "can you at least look at me?"

When I refused to look up I could feel his tense beside me.

"Listen ok," he paused when I said nothing he sighed and continued, "I don't know what really happened here Kai, but I know that I liked it. I know that you liked it too. I felt that need in you," he paused. I could tell that he was started to get angry.

"Kai, I liked what I did to you; I liked how you moaned and squirmed underneath me. I do not regret that, but please don't pretend like tonight didn't exist."

"Nothing happened," I muttered, breaking my vow of silence.

"Because you stopped it, not because I didn't want it."

I did not answer him.

"You know what, forget it. I can't stand it. I put my heart on the line. I open up and what do you do; you can't even dignify me with a simple courtesy of looking at me. Do you know how that makes me feel?" he voice cracked as he spoke. "Do you? Makes me feel like dirt. Lower the dirt. It makes me feel like the crap you scrap off your shoes."

I looked up then, when I heard the sadness in his voice. He was so hurt and it made me feel like shit because I had done it to him. My head was spinning; I was so perplexed; I had no idea what to say.

He looked into my eyes. He stood up after what seemed like eons, a small smile tugging at his lips. "What are you so afraid of?" he whispered. Tyson then turned on his heel and without waiting for my answer walked of my room; the soft click of the door closing resonating around my room.

'What was I afraid of?' That was what he wanted to know. Well it was exceptionally complicated really. It had something to do with a beautiful boy with navy almost raven hair and large midnight eyes. A boy that enticed me, that excited me; that made me feel a way that I had never experienced before. He both infuriated me and tempted me.

Ok so now that I think about it, it isn't all that complicated. But what I am truly afraid of is to be seen as different, to be exposed as a fraud. My whole life I had prided myself on being unique and yet totally indifferent to what others perceived me to be. And yet I know if you strip away that veneer, I am a coward. I hide behind my silence, my attitude. I'm great at pretending but with Tyson I just can't.

He peels away the ice that I have surrounded myself in and exposes the heat that lies in waiting just beneath the surface. Like tonight, he fuelled that fire, and now it is burning brightly. And I'm scared that I won't be able to resurrect the ice wall.

I'm terrified.

I stretched out and closed my eyes but I knew that I wouldn't get a wink of sleep that night when my mind concocted an image of him on top of me, his hands on my chest. The picture of his lips against my skin was enough to make me shiver; though I guess that I eventually succumbed to sleep, because when the alarm went the next morning I almost jumped out of my skin.

I lay in my bed unable to get up and face all that the day held. After a while I decided that I had to get up eventually, I couldn't leave out my life confined to my bed. I finally dragged myself from my bed, subsequently collected myself off the floor after I fought a losing battle with my bed sheets; I managed to make it to the door. I wandered into the kitchen and was greeted with an exceptionally clean kitchen. I was momentarily gobsmaked.

"Max and Rei have gone."

I spun around at the voice, "Huh?"

"Max is spending the day with his parents and Rei is with Lee and Mariah; he's gone back to his village for the next two weeks."

"Huh?" I didn't seem to be able to say much more.

"Geez Kai, they told us last night, don't you remember."

At the mention of last night I am fairly - no absolutely - certain that my face flushed.

"No of course you don't remember that, you were to busy planning on how to ditch us."

I looked away.

"What bothers me the most, though, is that you weren't even going to say good bye to us. You weren't going to say good bye to me."

I jerked my head back quickly to him but he was no longer in the room. I heard the front door close and I sank down into the nearest chair. I dropped my head against the bench with a ka-thump, but I no sound escaped my lips.

I had a bite to eat and went back to my room, got dressed and checked the time, I almost died when I realised it was one o'clock in the afternoon. I had stayed in bed for much longer than I had thought. I heard the phone ring but I couldn't be bothered picking up, the answering machine kicked in and Max's voice flooded the room.

"Hi guys, I'm just ringing to say that I'm staying at my Dad's tonight. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

I picked up my keys from the hall table. Opened the door and locked it behind me. I wandered around aimlessly for hours on end. I sat on a bench in the park for a while, but mostly I just wandered.

It was dark when I approached the house that Team Bladebreakers, minus Kenny, were staying. I put my keys in the lock and stumbled forward as it was yanked open.

"Where the hell have you been?" demanded Tyson, his eyes red rimmed.

"Out," I muttered.

"Out! Out! That's all you have to say!" he yelled at me, dragging me inside and slamming the door behind us.

"What are you all so worked up about?" I asked of him.

"I come home, you're not here, there was no note, no nothing. I thought you had really gone. I was worried sick!"

My eyes widened slightly.

He rushed me then, fists drawn. "How could you do that?" he pounded against my chest, "You selfish, arrogant......" he trailed off and collapsed against me and we fell to the ground. I held him tight against me and I listened to his sobs. Something inside of me broke at each cry that reverberated around the corridor walls.

"Tyson," I started, "I didn't mean to frighten you. I just needed to think, to try and clear my head."

I felt him nod against my chest. I slowly loosened my arms from around him. Heat was rising, even though I was trying desperately to suppress it.

He slowly stood up and offered me his hand. We walked to the room he both shared, I intended to drop my stuff off and continue on to the kitchen. But Tyson followed me in and sat down on his bed.

"So you're not going to leave?" he sniffled.

"No. I'm staying."

"Well good," he stated, "I mean cause I......- I mean we need you."

"Nice to know that I'm wanted."

I looked over at him then from my perch on my own bed, "Of course you are wanted kai. Did I not show you how much I want you, last night?"

"I....I....-" I stuttered.

"But that's right - you didn't want me."

"It's not like that."

"No, of course not. You aren't like me," he mocked me by echoing my words, "You're not a gay," he bit out.

And in spite of myself I flinched at his words.

"So Kai, what are you so afraid of?" he repeated his question from the previous night. With ever word he closed the gap between us until he was standing in front of me.

"Um -"

He knelt then, resting his hands lightly on my knees. He looked me in the eyes.

"Tell me?"

"I'm afraid...." he nodded in encouragement, "If I don't submit to this then I can still tell myself that I am just like everyone else."

"Oh," he breathed. "So what is this?"

I shrugged.

"Not sure?"

I nodded.

"So, is this alright?"

I sucked in my breath as he lightly slid his hands up my thighs; his fingertips grazing against the jeans material.

I'm not entirely certain, but I may have squeaked.

"Is this alright?" he manoeuvred himself so he was now situated between my legs. His hands precariously close to my groin. I moaned in spite of myself and I watched as he smirked. I gasped as his fingertips brushed against, the now very obvious bulge in my pants.

He smiled up at me wickedly and pulled away, reminiscent of yesterday. He stood up and tugged me up with him. He pulled my shirt over me head and tossed it over his shoulder. He then traced the mark he gave me with a cool fingertip. I shivered and he lowered his lips to it. My heart beat erratically as he gently suckled on the already tender skin.

His fingers traced a featherlight path down my torso, when he reached my belt buckle he hesitated. I reached my own hand down between us and guided him through undoing my buckle, buttons and finally the zip. He looked up at me, his eyes hazy and clouded with lust. He asked me a silent question and I answered with a kiss. He smiled against my lips and tugged my pants and underwear down. I shivered as the cool night air rushed past my extremely sensitive skin. He pushed me back and I fell upon my bed. He looked down at me and when his eyes made contact with mine again there was something else there. A hunger, a raw hunger and it made me smile. He ripped off his own pyjama shirt and slid his boxers down over his hips so they pooled at his feet.

I caught sight of him and my breath left me. I had done - that - to him! I couldn't believe it. He lowered himself down so he was hovering just above me. He reached down and cupped my length in his hand. I hissed at the contact of skin to skin.

"For me?" he asked teasingly."

"Of course," I muttered.

He kissed me then, lowering his body so it was pressed flush against mine. Another hiss escaped my lips but was swallowed by Tyson's kisses.

~*~

A/N: Um - well this was going to be the last chapter for this fic, but I was thinking that I should write a forth one, just to give it a bit of closure - yeah? Maybe some more - uh - citrusy stuff???

Well tell me what you think^^

Be safe

-BG