Chapter 5 - The needle is mightier than the goat!

******

Godmother! That was probably the weirdest idea Hilarity had ever encountered. The
prospect of having a fairy godchild was both fascinating and terrifying. Would she be
able to handle teaching a child all her earthly wisdom? Did she have any earthly
wisdom? She smiled at little at the thought of taking a mini Jareth or Sarah for long
walks through the Labyrinth and dispensing such valuable advice as : "If you're
haircut goes wrong, wear a hat!" On top of all that there would be yet another birthday
to remember. Thank god for ZEMAC's daily reminders. She couldn't help wondering
who the godfather was going to be and prayed to high heaven that it wasn't Knossos.

"What am I supposed to do with a Goblin Babe?" she thought.

Later that evening, she and Sarah were trying to find out the baby's sex. There was no
ultrasound in the Underground so they had to use some more medieval methods. This
involved Sarah lying on the floor while Hilarity suspended a needle on a string above
her stomach.

"So, is it going from left to right or back to front?" her friend asked impatiently.

"It's going round in little circles at the moment!" said Hilarity.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that this is a stupid idea and it doesn't work."

"Well I heard this thing once where you can get this goat and..."

"Um... no." said Hilarity bluntly. "I draw the line at livestock."

"So, why did you bring Thomas here?" said Sarah changing the subject.

"I dunno. I think he wanted to come with me. He's been behaving really weirdly
recently. He's started smiling and helping me out and he's not drinking so much. I
think he's developing a crush on me."

"Well I'd have thought that was pretty obvious." said Sarah "He never stops looking at
you."

"It's nice to see he's getting better and I admit he's kinda cute in an abandoned puppy
like way. But, I literally know nothing about him. Where he's from, his past. He
doesn't event talk for Christ's sake."

"Stranger things have happened." said Sarah...

******

They arrived at Hilarity's apartment a few hours later. Danny had been there during
her trip and had removed all his stuff. He had left his key on the kitchen table with a
note and some money that he owed her. She had to admit that her ex was a very
honourable person. It was nice to think that they had both accepted that their
relationship had been fun while it lasted but the time had come to move on...

Not being bothered enough to cook, she ordered a Chinese. The planet Zea was
experiencing a bit of an Earth fad and elements of Earth culture were popping up all
over the city. Hilarity liked to think that her book had started all this off but knew
deep down that it was only a tiny factor in this unusual fashion. there were plenty of
other Earth fans around at the time. She now took great pride in saying "Oh yes, I
adore Earth culture. But I was into it before it was cool." The cuisine side of things
was a bit of a poor imitation. Seeing as meat was rare on Zea (pun not intended) so
nearly everything was replaced by tofu and shellfish. The food arrived and she and
Thomas lazed in front of the TV.

"So what have we got here?" she said "Tofu fried rice with peas, satay molluscs, and
krill in black bean sauce. Fantastic." They ate in silence for a while. Hilarity was about
to teach her companion how to use chopsticks, but found to her astonishment that he
already knew how.

"I think I've underestimated you, kiddo!" she said. "I think you're far more intelligent
than you let on. Not that you do let on, of course." Thomas gazed at her curiously
"Can you talk? Perhaps you don't want to or maybe you're telepathic..." no response
"OK, suit yourself."

Thomas watched her as she leaned back in her seat. She reminded him of his wife
when they were younger, long before he had left her behind and failed to save her. The
way she wore her hair and moved her hands when she talked. That night when she
danced with him, she brought back blurred memories of the only time that he was
truly happy, and for that reason, he loved her. Each day was getting clearer and each
day the guilt began to fade. Hilarity watched with astonishment as he typed some
commands into ZEMAC's remote control. The TV image on the screen went dark and
her speakers rose up from their compartments in the floor. Suddenly the room was
filled with music. "Standing in the Shadows of Love" by the Four Tops. Her favourite
song. How did he know? Thomas took her by the hand and they slow danced on top of
the coffee table. They both had to admit that it was the best time they'd had in years...