Chapter 7 - A sequence of seemingly unrelated events!

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A/N - Hi guys! I'm back and I've been offered a place at college! Good God! Do they
know what they're letting themselves in for? I haven't been able to read your reviews
until now because my computer's a bit buggered, so belated thanks are in order... In
reference to the livestock joke : it was a bit of an accident but I decided to use it
anyway. I'm still thinking about the name and a fruit pastille is a sweet only found in
Britain and its basically fruit jelly with a highly acidic sugar coating and they come in
green, yellow, orange, red and purple.

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Disclaimer - I do not own the Breville Monkey, it is the creation of comedian Ross
Noble!

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In an easterly direction from the Labyrinth there lies a far darker kingdom across the
fetid waters of the river Tartarus. This is the land of the dead. Inevitable as the passage
of time, yet still feared by every mortal being. At its heart lies a castle so dark that
night would seem like day and day would seem like a nuclear explosion. A dark figure
with a dark purpose sat on the throne in the castle's main hall. It's fingers twitched
slightly as it stood up and let out a terrifying howl.

"DARREN! DARREN! Where the **** is that kid?" it wailed woefully in an
unusually brummie accent, effortlessly pronouncing a row of stars.

"Yes your evilness?" said a small creature with horns and cloven hooves as it scuttled
into the room.

"Is it ****ing time yet?"

"Um...not yet my Lord. Still another month to go, I'm afraid."

"****!"

"Yes indeed, my Lord. I also grow weary from the anticipation."

"I'm ****ing hungry. Fetch me my Monkey."

"I'm afraid he's very tired my Lord."

"Fetch him, I say!"

"Oh very well then." the little demon known as Darren clapped his hands twice
"Breville Monkey!!" he called. Immediately an ape-like screeching could be heard
echoing throughout the hallway. The mighty door opened and a little monkey with a
Breville sandwich toaster attached to its leg hopped in. Darren sighed. This was
another of his masters evil yet totally pointless experiments. He could remember a
time when the Prince of Darkness actually meant something to the living, but now his
overlord had been slowly eaten away by artistic licensee and too much rock and roll.
Not for long though. Soon the prophecy would be fulfilled and the chosen one would
be born. This child would be apprentices in the natures of hell and lead the demon
hoards to a new reign of terror and destruction... But for now he had to watch his
master eat a toasted sandwich made by a horribly deformed monkey...

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Hilarity had decided to try and find out a bit more about her alien admirer. She had
bought a holographic map of the galaxy and some films to try and coax Thomas into
revealing his homeland and culture. The alien stared blankly at the miniature swirling
mass of stars that was projected above the kitchen table.

"Anywhere look familiar?" asked Hilarity as the constellation of Orion passed through
her arm. Still no reaction from Thomas. "You're not helping, you know." she said
irritably. Thomas looked at her guiltily and fiddled with the buttons on the map.
Immediately the image zoomed out to show several of the surrounding galaxies. He
pointed a long, skeletal finger at one of the nearest points of light.

"Andromeda!" Hilarity gasped. "You're from Andromeda? But that's impossible!
Ships can't travel that far!" Thomas just blinked. "No wonder you don't recognise
anything here. How the hell did you get here?" this seemed to provoke a reaction and
the creature began to tug at her sleeve excitedly. He grabbed one of her notepads and
started scribbling something down in an alien language. Hilarity watched with
astonishment as he produced pages and pages of designs and equations, each one more
brilliant than the next. "Bloody hell, kiddo. Why didn't you just do that to begin
with?" said Hilarity. She looked at his drawings. Most of them were very confusing
but followed some basic principles that she had studied at University. Among them,
there was designs for matter transference beams, fueless engines and self developing
photographic film. Things that even the Zean race had only just touched the surface
on.

This beautiful moment was somewhat destroyed when the door crashed open and Trin
sauntered in looking very pleased with himself.

"Hmmm...someone looks happy today." said Hilarity.

"I should say so. I just passed my economics exam!"

"Oh! That's brilliant! Well done."

"Thanks. So what's going on here then?" he said looking at the sketches on the table.

"Oh nothing!" said Hilarity knowing that Trin wouldn't believe that there was an
Andromedean living with her in her flat. She quickly put the drawings away in her
bag.

"Did you see Jareth and Sarah then? I assume that's where you went after you
(literally) disappeared."

"Oh yeah! I've been asked to be a godmother. Imagine that. It's so weird to think that
they're actually having a kid."

"I know. The spawn of the Goblin King. They'll probably call it Damien or
something."

"I wouldn't put it past them." laughed Hilarity.