Drowning in the smell of new leather, I rested my head
back and listened to the music of meaningless words and endless chatter. His footsteps
were faint, bracing myself, my fingernails dug deep into the arm
rest, shutting my eyes tight, tight enough so that everything goes black. I
almost floated away.
His arm found his way carelessly to my
shoulders, his coarse palms near my chest demandingly. The familiar stone sat
in my throat once again, trying desperately to gulp it down. "Sit up
straight." I complied wordlessly. His chin came in contact
with my jaw, feeling little brittles of hair brush pass my skin, i could die right now. Relaxing into him,
I sighed and breathed in his fragrance. Cigarettes, cologne, and apathy. The
light reflected off the upper half of his face creating something sort of
a halo, his smile too tight to be real, but a gorgeous one none the less.
Amused by the mere notion that he looked angelic, I shook my head, he wasn't angelic because angelic meant
innocence, and he wasn't innocent at the least.
She took a brief glance at him
and as expected his eyes were following a familiar brunette. Her. Always her, never me. Eyes downcast, I began
to fumble with my dress. "Could you stop? Christ how many hits did you take?"
I could
feel his eyes on me and i couldn't help to not look
up. His eyes were grey but when you studied and spent forever getting lost in them
you would notice a tinge of green decorating his irises.
I remember the way you looked me
straight in the eye, the way you whispered in my
ear and assured me
that i was sad. You told me you could see it,
and you could tell by the way my eyes would shimmer, how it would tear, it looks as if you could cry right
then and here you said. I nodded, and you craddled my
head to your shoulder, in a barely audible voice you told me to shed those
tears. I remember your palm stroking my hair, you ran your finger
down my spine, and i told you i loved you. Awe struck you pulled away in such a disgust, you hid it by pressing your used lips against mines.
He never looked me in the eye again, in fear of seeing my sadness, in fear of wondering if the lack of my happiness is contagious. Because god forbid, he get any sadder than he is right now, and he'll be digging himself a ditch, all ready and willing.
He looked at me then to her. He
continued this off and on, until he stated that i didnt even compare. My lips will quiver and the tears will shed, a familar taste of what it
is to be me. This happens off and on and it never ends. He will say sorry, and
we will kiss.
He pulls me closer, tighter, harder. "I knew you couldnt
stay away." He says. I am dying inside because i
know its true.
