Drowning in the smell of new leather, I rested my head back and listened to the music of meaningless words and endless chatter. His footsteps were faint, bracing myself, my fingernails dug deep into the arm rest, shutting my eyes tight, tight enough so that everything goes black. I almost floated away.
His arm found his way carelessly to my shoulders, his coarse palms near my chest demandingly. The familiar stone sat in my throat once again, trying desperately to gulp it down. "Sit up straight." I complied wordlessly. His chin came in contact with my jaw, feeling little brittles of hair brush pass my skin, i could die right now. Relaxing into him, I sighed and breathed in his fragrance. Cigarettes, cologne, and apathy. The light reflected off the upper half of his face creating something sort of a halo, his smile too tight to be real, but a gorgeous one none the less. Amused by the mere notion that he looked angelic, I shook my head,  he wasn't angelic because angelic meant innocence, and he wasn't innocent at the least.
She took a brief glance at him and as expected his eyes were following a familiar brunette. Her. Always her, never me. Eyes downcast, I began to fumble with my dress. "Could you stop? Christ how many hits did you take?"

I could feel his eyes on me and i couldn't help to not look up. His eyes were grey but when you studied and spent forever getting lost in them you would notice a tinge of green decorating his irises.

I remember the way you looked me straight in the eye, the way you whispered in my ear and assured me that i was sad. You told me you could see it,
and you could tell by the way my eyes would
shimmer, how it would tear, it looks as if you could cry right then and here you said. I nodded, and you craddled my head to your shoulder, in a barely audible voice you told me to shed those tears. I remember your palm stroking my hair, you ran your finger down my spine, and i told you i loved you. Awe struck you pulled away in such a disgust, you hid it by pressing your used lips against mines.

He never looked me in the eye again, in fear of seeing my sadness, in fear of wondering if the lack of my happiness is contagious. Because god forbid, he get any sadder than he is right now, and he'll be digging himself a ditch, all ready and willing.

           He looked at me then to her. He continued this off and on, until he stated that i didnt even compare. My lips will quiver and the tears will shed, a familar taste of what it is to be me. This happens off and on and it never ends. He will say sorry, and we will kiss.
He pulls me closer, tighter, harder. "I knew you couldnt stay away." He says. I am dying inside because i know its true.