Optimal Balance
Chapter 1/?
By: Lazuli
Here is the first chapter! Wow, this is probably one of the few parts… at least so far… that is written basically cold, no notes to back it up. Most of the story is written, but this part has been debated inside my head so long for how it should go—I hope that you enjoy this part and that you're still interested in reading it. Please, constructive feedback is welcome, please feel free to point out things that you think need improving or clarifying. Random disclaimers—I don't own Yami no Matsuei, never will, but I do take full credit for this story. Enjoy!
Tsuzuki moved into Konoe's office quietly, expression subdued as he faced Konoe and Tatsumi. They were waiting for his report, but judging by the look on Tsuzuki's face, they weren't expecting too much of a change with the situation. Kurosaki had been missing for the better part of two weeks, and in that short time the older man seemed to be falling apart. His partner had been one of the few things that was holding him together, and without him—Tatsumi winced. He feared another repeat of Kyoto, and this time with no one to stop Tsuzuki from succeeding this time.
"I found him." Tatsumi blinked in surprise at the almost depressed tone that Tsuzuki's voice held. It hadn't changed from what it had been over the past month, after Hisoka initially vanished. He expected that with this change of news that the older man would have been jubilant, that his old personality would have resurfaced—at the very least that Hisoka would be near Tsuzuki. There was nothing in his demeanor that expressed anything good though. He got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, the rest of the shinigami looked slightly uneasy as well. Something was very wrong.
It didn't take very long for Tsuzuki to explain the scene of Hisoka in the café, how he acted towards Tsuzuki—as if he never saw the man before. How he was still sixteen, but seemed unaware that he was anything but human. It was disturbing to realize that the young man that they had known for so long seemed so… different. That he wasn't aware of who he was now, that it seemed that he still thought he was human. Tsuzuki wasn't able to pick up much at the time—he had been too shaken to see Hisoka to really do anything about it. If it wasn't for the fact that they had been in a public place, surrounded by so many eyes, he would have snatched Hisoka up right at that moment and taken him back to Meifu.
"Would you have really done that, Tsuzuki-san?" Tatsumi eyed his friend, raising an eyebrow. "You know that you can take him back at any time now that you know where he is, yet you seem strangely unhappy by the news that he is found."
Tsuzuki flushed. "I… it's just that he seems happy, almost. Like he belongs there—shouldn't he be able to have the chance to live a normal life?" His voice was pleading. "You know that I want him back—more than anything … he's my partner and has been for the past three years." This time his look was a little sardonic. "You all know how well I keep partners."
Tatsumi shook his head. "Even if he doesn't remember who he is, Tsuzuki-san, he still cannot be allowed to live in Chijou as a mortal. His life is over and it is strictly forbidden for him to try and live a life that is gone." He cleared his throat. "You need to observe him and see just what is going on, as to who he thinks he is, if he is with some type of mortal family—what the situation actually is." His gaze was direct. "Then you must bring him back to Meifu."
"But…" Tsuzuki tried to protest, but Konoe even shook his head. 'Treat it like you would a case, Tsuzuki. You know that spirits aren't allowed to wander the mortal realm. If Kurosaki-san does not remember he is a shinigami, simply tell him and prove to him that he is no longer mortal, the same as you have countless times before with those who's candles have been snuffed out and they don't realize."
It almost hurt to be so blunt to Tsuzuki, but the man would allow his protectiveness for Hisoka, his need to give the boy what he never had over his own happiness, what was needed…He made a face. It had to be dealt with now.
"Just go, Tsuzuki—we'll keep tabs on you to make sure that nothing will go amiss. If any cases come up while you are in the area that are light, you can take them. Anything potentially dangerous or hazardous, request backup. Make sure that Kurosaki-san is your top priority. He's one of ours as well, and we want him back here just the same as you do."
Tsuzuki managed a weak smile as he nodded. "Then… then what will my cover be?" He asked tentatively. "I can't just set up an observation point and watch him. He may just think he's still sixteen years old and I'm going to get called a pervert and worse if he catches me spying on him, and I'll never gain his trust long enough to talk to him."
Tatsumi looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged. "Just tell him a variation of the truth. Say that you are a detective, but are currently off assignment because you are searching for your partner. That way if he tries to check for truths with his empathy, your story will match up and there should be no problem."
Tsuzuki nodded again, looking relieved as he was given the direct orders, almost as if he needed that direction his life, permission to do what he so wanted to do, needed to do to stay sane. He was hanging onto his control just barely, and finding that Hisoka was still 'alive' brought him one step closer to sanity.
"I'll make sure that everything works out." He said softly. "I'll bring Hisoka back where he belongs."
~
He was there again. For the third day in a row, Hisoka spotted that strange man he initially saw in the café. Every day he was out in the park, usually on a bench, writing something down in a notebook, reading some thick volume, or his gaze was focused on the nearby school that he attended, expression drawn and tight. He couldn't read his emotions any more easily than he had in the café.
Hisoka was getting suspicious. It wasn't as if he were seeing similar people, someone who looked like him. The violet eyes that the older man had were striking, unique. They set him apart and someone who stared at the same school for so many days made himself very obvious as well. Is he just some type of weird pervert that likes to spy on young boys or is it something else? He felt a chill run down his spine as he realized that he could be something else, someone that his parents hired to drag him back home. Why they would bother he didn't know—it wasn't as if they admitted to him being their son after his empathy surfaced…
He shut out painful memories, shaking his head as if he could dislodge them permanently. He didn't need to be thinking about that now. He escaped them, he was stronger than he was before. He had to focus on the more immediate problem, he needed to confront what could turn out to be a very real threat in the guise of the innocent looking man with the strange looking eyes.
He was up in a tree this time, looking perfectly at home stretched out on a branch, a book resting in his lap and eyes closed. He didn't even seem aware of Hisoka coming up next to him, shaking his head in disgust that a person would be so publicly lazy. He wasn't going to put off confronting him any longer, and would get in a good lecture, too. The man looked like a slacker. Why else would he be in the park instead of working at a job? He cleared his throat and poked at the man sharply.
"Do you know that it's slightly perverted to be spying on boys that are at least ten years younger than you?" He asked sharply. "You should get a new hobby." The man jerked up abruptly, eyes widening as he stared down at Hisoka, then he shook his head in amusement as he dropped to the ground.
"I thought it would look like that… but I didn't really expect many people to see me." He tilted his head to the side. "I'm sorry if I bothered you." His expression was calm, tone apologetic, but Hisoka got the fainting stirrings of something else, some emotion that the man was struggling to hold in check, to hide behind mental walls.
"What are you doing, anyway?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Don't you have anything better to do than hang out in parks all day?" He made his expression as disgusted as possible. "You're a grown man, you should have some type of job, not just wasting your time staring at nothing."
"I do have a job." His voice was soft. "But my chief told me that I was off assignment until we can locate my partner… or get me a new one." His expression was pained and even with the mental shields that the man somehow seemed to possess, he sensed the truth behind those words. "He disappeared about two weeks ago. I thought there was a chance I might find him around here. We used to come here on our lunch breaks sometimes…" His tone was wistful, but he seemed to shake the daze from his words rather quickly.
"I'm sorry for babbling on like that... you're right that it must seem a little weird to have me around like this. If I introduced myself, would it make you feel any better?" He gave him a bright smile. "I promise you, I am relatively harmless. I don't go around molesting small children." Another pained look crossed his face, and then a flash of anger too bright and strong to be visibly tamped down.
If he gives me his real name, I might have a chance of tracking him down. So if he does something even remotely idiotic or against the law, I'll know where to find him. Add in the factor of those eyes, and there should be very few people to search through. He vaguely wondered why he was so interested. But some part of him was scared of being dragged back home, of being locked up again…hated…
He shrugged as if he didn't really care to him, one way or another. "Fine. Tell me your name—but what did you mean, you're searching for your partner?" Go on, tell me what you do for a living. Try and slip up so I can know whether or not to run again.
The smile was almost blinding, sincere emotions trailing across his senses for a brief moment before they dimmed again. "Tsuzuki Asato." He said brightly, tilting his head towards Hisoka. "And you are?" He questioned. "Or would you rather not tell me?"
Hisoka snorted. "Hisoka." He said abruptly. "You don't need to know anymore than that." He frowned. "And you were saying about your partner…" he prodded. "Surely you realized that something happened to your partner were it's beyond your control now. Why don't you just get a new one?"
"It's a very specialized line of detective work that I do, that's why." Tsuzuki shrugged. "Hard to get into… new applicants are pretty rare. My partner… he was the newest. He'd been my partner for three years."
Hisoka gave him a look. "It doesn't look as if you're old enough to have been in that line of work for very long. You and your partner must have joined at the same time or something."
The expression in the violet eyes dimmed for a moment. "You'd be surprised, Hisoka." He murmured softly. "But he was very special to me, and I'll make sure that he comes back to where he belongs. He's too important of an agent to be let alone. People might be after him, he might already be in trouble and he wouldn't be able to tell us." He gave Hisoka a strange, sideways look at that, as if he expected a direct response from him.
Hisoka felt uneasy and looked away. "Well, then hanging about a park, waiting for him to come around isn't going to find him any easier. You said you're some special type of detective. Shouldn't you be out looking for him instead of doing nothing at all?"
Tsuzuki smiled and ruffled Hisoka's hair, ignoring the scowl directed at him. "Sometimes when it seems that you're doing nothing at all, you're doing a great deal." He said simply. He seemed about ready to say more when his phone rang, directing an apologetic look towards Hisoka before answering quickly. He didn't seem too concerned that Hisoka was still there, and could hear every word on Tsuzuki's end.
"Tatsumi… I thought you were going to wait a week… well, yes." He paused and gave Hisoka a quick glance. "No, I still don't know anything—It's going to be slow going, you know how he was." He sighed, expression downcast. "At least it's a start…" He was silent for several moments, obviously listening to whoever this "Tatsumi" was on the other end. "An assignment? Where?" His gaze perked up a little. "Just a simple retrieval?" He paused again. "I think I know who you're talking about. It was all over the papers. I think she'd still be at her home. I'll go right over there. Ja."
Tsuzuki gave him another apologetic look as he shoved the phone back into the pocket of the trench coat he wore. "I have to go, Hisoka. Maybe we can talk again, ne? If you trust me a little more, that is." He ran a hand through his hair.
"I thought you said that you weren't on assignment anymore." Hisoka said bluntly. "What is this about doing work?" He raised an eyebrow, clearly stating his disbelief in Tsuzuki's entire story.
"It's very low level, simple stuff." Tsuzuki smiled faintly. "One that I won't need backup on unless it gets very messy, something I don't even mind doing. They've deemed it safe enough for me to handle." There was that odd look again, directed at him. "They worried about me too much when my partner disappeared."
Hisoka snorted. "We'll see then about talking again. I want to make sure I can trust someone like you." He felt the need to apologize slightly for his rude behavior. This Tsuzuki really didn't do anything to deserve it, and at least somewhat of an explanation would suffice. "I don't trust much of anybody." With that, he hurried away from the older an, not saying goodbye or letting Tsuzuki go on about something else. The lack of emotions distinctly bothered him, and he knew that next time he saw him, there would be a definite interrogation of how he did that as well.
For now, he was going to see what was 'all over the papers.' He was going to see what Tsuzuki was going to investigate, to do—he would track the man as carefully as possible, determined to get answers that he really wasn't sure of the questions to. He just knew that he needed explanations, and the only way he was going to get them was by doing this. The rest would be handled directly.
~~
Hisoka's brow furrowed as he went through the paper. The most major event was the death of Tsukai Maasaki, who was found dead in her room two days ago. Cause of death was a violent one, but the killer had already been caught. What was there left for Tsuzuki to do? He folded up the paper and stuck it in his bag, already on the bus that would lead to Tsukai Maasaki's home. He would see what he would find there.
The house was closed off by police tape, the family staying at a relatives house until everything had been cleaned up and taken care of. And to escape the memories of what happened there. Hisoka thought to himself. He slipped underneath the police tape, making sure that no one saw him as he sneaked into the house. He couldn't hear Tsuzuki, but there was the faintest presence of someone, and he followed that upstairs, to what must have been Maasaki's bedroom.
He kept to the edge of the doorway, barely peering around the edges as he saw Tsuzuki there, talking to someone else. A young girl… He bit back a choked gasp as he matched up the girl with the photo of the one in the paper. It seemed to be Tsukai Maasaki, but there was something wrong, something in her aura that reminded him vaguely of Tsuzuki. Nothing really bad, but something that made his empathy reassert itself; almost as if it was trying to analyze something new. He strained to hear the conversation.
"Maasaki-chan… I know this is hard to deal with, or understand…" Tsuzuki spoke gently, one hand resting on her shoulder, eyes sad as he looked at her. "But you know the truth of the situation."
The girl only sniffled and shook her head, braids swinging back in forth with the force of her denial. "No! I wasn't supposed to die, I want my life back. You can do that, can't you? You can see me—can't you make other people see me as well? I won't be bad—I just… I'm too young to die. I have too many plans, too many things to do--|
Too young to die?! Was the death a cover up or something? Is Tsuzuki going to kill her now or something…? Wait… 'I want my life back?' Something seriously did not make sense here, it was wrong… the indefinable sense of things being off kilter again.
Tsuzuki shook his head. "It's what's meant to be." He said firmly. "The worst is over, you're going to a better place, Maasaki-chan. Trust me—I know what it's like and I know you'll be fine there." He stroked the top of her head softly. "Trust me." He repeated.
She sniffed once more, but looked up at him, tears still standing in her eyes. "I… I guess so…" She whispered, lifting up one hand to brush against the tears that streaked down her cheeks. "It won't hurt?" She asked tentatively. Tsuzuki smiled and shook his head. "It won't hurt at all. Now, close your eyes…"
Hisoka shook his head, unable to stay silent any longer. If Tsuzuki was going to kill the girl or do something equally bad, he wasn't just going to let it happen. He ran into the room, mouth opened to confront Tsuzuki, to stop him from whatever was going on, but before he could say anything, Maasaki vanished before his eyes.
Tsuzuki turned around in shock to see Hisoka there. Hisoka frowned, trying to get his thoughts into reasonable working orders. "What just happened?" He asked shakily. "Who was that and what did you do?" His voice rose on the last word, and he winced.
Tsuzuki sighed and sat down on the bed, running a hand over his eyes. "I didn't want you to see anything yet." He muttered. "I told Tatsumi that it was too soon, that we didn't know enough yet…"
"Tsuzuki…" Hisoka ground out. "Just tell me what you did, and what the hell is going on!" He gestured to the otherwise empty room. "There was a girl just here—Maasaki. You were talking to her, she was crying, and then you told her that she needed to move on." He swallowed harshly. Even his words were started to sound a little strange. "You did something to her and she was suddenly not there anymore. Tell me the truth."
Tsuzuki nodded, eyes tired as he looked back up at Hisoka. "She was a ghost." He said simply. "It was my job to make sure that she went onto the afterlife, instead of staying in the world of the living." He looked off for a moment. "She died quite young, and so of course she clung to her life. It was just a simple thing to convince her and make she passed on."
"Your job?" Hisoka asked skeptically. "Ghosts? Afterlife?" He shook his head. "You're not making a whole lot of sense, Tsuzuki."
The older man raised an eyebrow, looking faintly amused as he leaned back on the bed, raising an eyebrow at Hisoka. "Did what you see make a great deal of sense, Hisoka?" He asked wryly. "Your own eyes saw the truth, but can your brain accept it and what I'm saying?"
"What are you?" He asked finally. There still had to be a logical reason for all of this, something that would explain as to why there were ghosts and people that obviously talked to them. "And what do you do?"
"I'm a… well, I'm a shinigami." He said quickly. "I usually investigate unexplained deaths, ones that are in a series and try to make a connection and prevent others from happening that aren't supposed to happen. Sometimes, rarely—I'll be asked to simple assignment like you saw. A spirit that either doesn't realize they are dead, or clings to tightly to life that they refuse to go to Meifu and their judgement."
Hisoka was starting to feel slightly ill. "And…?" He questioned. There was something hanging here, something he didn't know, something that was left unsaid.
"And that's where I have to take you, Hisoka. To Meifu where you belong."
