Well, I'm back with another chapter. I hope these chapters aren't too short for all of you, and that you enjoy them—I enjoy writing them, especially when I get weird little bursts of inspiration at work. Again, I do not own Yami no Matsuei, I am not making any money off of this story, but I do enjoy constructive feedback. I want to thank everyone that has reviewed thus far. Please enjoy!

Optimal Balance

Chapter 2/?

PG-13

Hisoka did the first thing his startled brain managed to send to him. He bolted. He didn't look back to see if Tsuzuki was following him, to see if anyone else was watching the house. He just ran, needing to get away as soon as possible. What he saw was impossible, what Tsuzuki was implicating was even more so. Back to Meifu? Where is Meifu? He paused in the doorway of some nameless restaurant, catching his breath. It seemed more like a threat than anything else after that 'conversation' he witnessed between Tsuzuki and 'Maasaki.' Almost like Tsuzuki was telling him that he was going to die.

No, he said back to Meifu, as if I was already dead. He shook his head at the ludicrous thought. All he knew was that this Tsuzuki was not all that he seemed, that things were not matching up. He was seeing things that were impossible. Dead was dead. You didn't need some weird person with strange colored eyes making sure that people died, or to tell people that they were already dead. The dead didn't investigate mysteries. That was for late night television shows, ones with weird names and even stranger story lines.

But some part of him insisted that something was true, that not all of what Tsuzuki said was a lie. There was something definitely strange about Tsuzuki. The entire way his emotions were, the way his aura was—his empathy could have very well being shouting at him not normal! But what did that mean to him? He certainly wasn't going to go back to the man and ask him just what was going on. He wasn't sure what was going to happen and positive that he wasn't going to like anything that the older man would say.

He hurried back to his apartment, his one small haven that he won for himself, needing to be alone to think things through, to try and make sense of everything that was going on. He needed to examine his memories, his emotions and sort everything out so it wasn't just a jumbled mess inside of his head.

"Hisoka…" He jerked his head up sharply at the soft voice, wondering just how the hell Tsuzuki got ahead of him, got near his apartment, knew where he lived. Violet eyes were dark as they looked down at Hisoka. "I know I didn't phrase it in the best of ways…." His voice trailed off uncertain. "And you have no reason to really believe me…"

"You're right that I have no reason to believe you!" Hisoka exclaimed, backing away slightly and trying to not let his unease show in his voice. "You do weird magic tricks and tell me that I'm supposed to be dead, and you expect me to believe you?" He demanded. "I do happen to have a life here. I go to school, I pay rent on my apartment, people call me and greet me—" He gestured widely. "If I was dead, wouldn't I be invisible to people? Like that Maasaki girl? Nobody would be able to see me."

Tsuzuki winced and Hisoka gave him a triumphant look at being able to outthink the older man. He wondered vaguely what type of excuse that he would come up with, or if he would just give it all up and tell Hisoka the real reason that he was here.

"There are different types of dead." Tsuzuki said hesitantly. "There are ghosts like Maasaki. She simply clung on to life, but didn't really have the power or enough reason to really hold her back. Sometimes those with violent deaths can make themselves known to the living. You, though—" Tsuzuki gave him a thoughtful look. "You're… special." He said finally. "That's why people can see you."

"Special." Hisoka scoffed, backing away even more and getting ready to run again, one hand on the doorknob of his apartment, fumbling for a key. He wasn't going to stand out in the hallway and discuss more of this strangeness with Tsuzuki. He was going to escape and lock the door as soon as possible.

"Oh, I see. I'm special, so the regular rules of being dead don't apply to me. The fact that I get hungry and bleed and feel things, not to mention that people can treat me like a living, breathing human being is because I'm a special type of dead so it doesn't really matter." He rolled his eyes. "Nice try."

Tsuzuki looked hurt, the hurt visible on his features if not in his emotions. "I knew you wouldn't believe me. I told Tatsumi that you wouldn't…." He made a face, hands spreading in apology. "And if I could have it any other way, I would, Hisoka. I want you to have this happy, normal life."

"Then why don't you leave me alone?" Hisoka bit out. "Go back to your boss or something and just tell him that you couldn't find me, or I wouldn't go back or whatever. I'm happy here and I don't need some low class private detective taking me back to a life that I never wanted." He turned away and started walking away, shaking his head in disgust.

"What if I can prove it to you?" Tsuzuki asked softly, when Hisoka was almost out of hearing. "If I can give you solid evidence that you belong in Meifu, not in Chijou?" He clarified. "The world of the death, rather than that of the living."

"Going to show me another hologram? Some type of projector trick that makes me believe I'm seeing ghosts again?" Hisoka asked scornfully, but some part of his brain needed that proof, to at least settle the doubt that plagued him ever since he saw that scene in the bedroom. No matter how much his mind wanted to insist on logical reasoning, he was the type of person that needed more evidence, something tangible that would be able to ease his mind and settle any questions.

"Can you get inside your family's graveyard?" Tsuzuki asked, raising an eyebrow. "The proof is in there, and if you cared to, you can look up obituary dates from three years ago. I wouldn't change things in a graveyard, and microfilm from a library is hard to counterfeit, hmm?" He tilted his head to the side.

Hisoka snorted. "I still think you're a crazy pervert or something." He muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and narrowing his eyes at Tsuzuki. "What makes you think that I'll go back to where my family is? I spent too long trying to get rid of them. I'm happier being away there. I'm not about to fall for some trick of yours."

Tsuzuki shook his head wildly in negation. "I wouldn't do that to you, Hisoka!" He protested. "Trust me for at least this, get some questions answered and if you don't come up with the same ones I've presented to you, then I'll leave you alone." His look was suddenly very serious, face drawn. "I'll leave you to your life."

Hisoka gave him a long, thoughtful look. "You'll really leave me alone?" He asked skeptically. "Even with all your rules about how 'the dead can't be here'?"

Tsuzuki nodded, smile wry. "The worst they can do is keep me working for the rest of eternity." He said dryly. "It's not much different from what I've been doing for the past seventy years."

Hisoka finally consented. "Fine. I'll investigate my own way, and see what turns up. Once I find out the information, though—how will I find you to tell you?"

Tsuzuki shrugged. "I'll find you easily enough, Hisoka. If not…" He pulled out a slip of paper and a pen, writing something down rather quickly. "This is the cell number that you can reach me at." He laughed at Hisoka's look.

"Cell phone?" He asked, one eyebrow raising in disbelief. "The dead need cell phones?"

Tsuzuki grinned. "You're in for a big surprise when…" He paused and the cheerful look slipped from his face for a moment. "If you come back to Meifu." He adjusted his coat and slipped the remaining paper and the pen into some hidden pocket within his trench coat. "I just hope…" He shook his head. "Never mind. I'll see you soon."

He turned and only seemed to take a few steps before he vanished down the hallway. Hisoka couldn't see him after those first few moments, and he stared down at the paper in his hands. Things weren't making a great deal of sense, but at least he would have some answers soon. The first thing he was going to do though was look up information on Tsuzuki Asato. The rest could wait.

~

"What were you thinking, promising him something like that?" Tatsumi demanded. "Kurosaki-san belongs in Meifu, returning to his status as a shinigami. It's his job, and what he decided to do after he died. He won't be released from that until he formally requests it, and living that pseudo life as a mortal is not permitted!"

Tsuzuki slumped down in a chair, covering his face with one hand, looking very tired all of a sudden. "Because I know what Hisoka will find, and what his mind will try to ration out. I know that he's going to come up with a lot more questions than answers, and he'll call me for those answers. He'll want to see Meifu for himself and prove that I'm not some child-murdering psycho like some people that he's known in the past."

Tatsumi raised an eyebrow. "You seem to know Kurosaki-san very well." He murmured. "And if your partner simply chooses not to play to form? He seems almost like a different person. He doesn't have the same memories of his death jading him, he's a little more stable since he 'escaped' his family, and he doesn't have you as his idiot of a partner anymore. "

"I know him." Tsuzuki said stubbornly. "And he'll be back in Meifu, and everything will be fine again. He'll remember being a shinigami as soon as he gets here, he'll be my partner again and things will be… back to normal." His voice was insistent, more as if he was trying to convince himself that this was going to work out.

"I hope so, Tsuzuki. Because if Kurosaki-san doesn't come to Meifu willingly, we'll have to send another one of our more… exacting agents to drag him back to Meifu and it wouldn't be pleasant for anyone." His eyes gleamed slightly as he looked at Tsuzuki.

Tsuzuki winced and edged away from Tatsumi a little. "It will be okay." He murmured. "It has to be."

~

Hisoka rubbed his eyes tiredly as he went through the newspapers. He was looking at all of them from three years ago, and he was almost at the end of his patience with the tiny microfilm pages. He had already spent a few hours in trying to locate Tsuzuki Asato, but came up blank in a number of places. The only Tsuzuki families were not even in the area, no one mentioned the outstanding features of violet eyes. There was no mention of him in any detective agency that he could find, or in the police force. The man simply didn't exist.

He did however manage to find something at last that dealt with him. It was there, in the tiny black and white words on the screen, and he rubbed at his eyes again, willing them to clear, for the words to change and make sense. They didn't, though and he stared at the screen for several long moments, trying to process what was there.

Kurosaki Hisoka, died in 1997, sixteen years. Cause of death was terminal illness. He skipped back a little more and found small references to it. Anything that related to the Kurosaki family would be in the papers, even the mention of a son that they had never wanted, had always locked away and kept hidden until…

His mind went blank for a moment. He couldn't remember when that really changed, except one day he was gone, escaped from his cold house and his parents harsh words and emotions. The constant loneliness of the makeshift cell, his parents voices echoing…

He shivered slightly. He didn't want to remember that. It was over now, he wasn't ever going to go back there. But…if this paper was right, if Tsuzuki was right, then he wasn't ever going to go back there. Only his ashes were there, from when they cremated his body. He felt another cold chill. He couldn't have died. It was all a mistake. He was alive. Librarians didn't rent out microfilm machines to ghosts, he had to be real for the old lady to smile and him and set up the reels of microfilm for him.

He glanced through the various mentions of 'his' story, of the poor child of the esteemed Kurosaki clan, who fell ill at the age of thirteen. How he didn't seem to recover, the parents distraught… He made a face at that obvious lie. His parents would have never been disappointed over him being ill, about to die. They would have been rid of their monster child at last.

He read through everything he could find on it, read through the obituary again, the notes pertaining to the funeral arrangements, feeling like he was reading about someone else. Being dead was an impossible thought—but—he swallowed convulsively. Maybe he could call Tsuzuki and get some answers…

He decided to take matters one step further, searching for 'mysterious' or unusual events over the last three years. If Tsuzuki was telling the truth about investigating strange deaths or occurrences, there would be something in the paper.

He scrolled through the years, starting back three years ago, when he would have 'died.' There wasn't any mention of violet-eyed detectives in the various stories that he came across, but he wondered vaguely if he could investigate some of the people that were still around about what had happened. There was one person that was still around, and wasn't too far away. The only problem would be getting to see him—he had gained a lot of stature since he was sixteen.

Minase Hijiri.

~

Hisoka stood in front of the apartment building, biting his lip. Am I being completely idiotic, bothering a well-known violinist about some random event that occurred three years ago? He doesn't even know me, he's going to think I'm a complete moron. Taking a deep breath, he rang the buzzer to Hijiri's apartment. Following up on some random thing that Tsuzuki said…He sighed softly, and nearly jumped when a voice came out through the speaker, soft and slightly hesitant.

"Yes? Who is it?" There was a pause. "I'm not accepting any reporters right now, so if you want an interview, you'll have to make an appointment."

Hisoka cleared his throat. "Actually, no—" He replied. "I'm not a reporter, my name is Kurosaki Hisoka…" He got that far before he was interrupted again, the voice abruptly changing, turning more welcoming.

"Hisoka?! Is it really you? Come on up, I'll let you on through." He heard the buzzer sound and he stepped through the door hesitantly, eyes moving around the opulent surroundings, moving carefully to Hijiri's apartment. The violinist acted as if he knew him. He is probably mistaking me for someone else. He reassured himself.

Hijiri met him at the front, green eyes vibrant in a still youthful looking face. Hisoka blinked in surprise at the superficial resemblance to himself. It was as if had aged a few years, adding subtle changes to his features. If his hair was black, it would have been an almost exact copy.

"Hisoka, it is you! I haven't seen you in years, I thought you said that it wasn't permitted or something, after I left…" His voice trailed off uncertainly as he moved aside to let Hisoka in. "I thought there was some type of rule or something." His smile brightened. "But I'm glad to see you again, I really never got the chance to thank you for everything… I mean if it wasn't for you guys, I never would have made it this far.."

Hisoka swallowed, eyes flicking back and forth as he tried to shield against the older boys honest, vibrant emotions. They were almost painfully strong and he shook his head. "Minase-san…please… can you explain what you're talking about? I don't… I don't really remember you…" His brow furrowed.

Hijiri looked shocked. "You don't? How can that be? It's only been three years and while I know you haven't changed at all… I thought you would remember me. I mean, I still remember all of you, and everything that happened."

"I really don't, Minase-san… what happened three years ago that I was involved in?" He had a feeling he was going to get more answers to his questions, but he didn't think that he was going to be completely happy with what answers that he did receive.

"I…" Hijiri faltered. "Why don't you sit down and I'll get us something to drink and eat while I explain things to you, then?" Hisoka nodded as he gingerly sat down on the couch, watching Hijiri warily. The older boy seemed to be giving him the same type of uncertain looks, as if he was presented with something completely different from what he expected, and he needed the time to adjust his frame of mind to this new idea.

After a few moments, Hijiri came back, tray in hand. He sat down next to Hisoka, tilting his head to the side. "You're sure that you really don't remember how you and Tsuzuki saved me from that demon?" He asked carefully. "You worked so hard to save me and Tsuzuki…" He broke off, troubled. "I mean, all that you went through—it was incredible."

Hisoka's eyebrows rose at that. "Tsuzuki?" He questioned. "We're talking about a tall, violet-eyed guy here with a weird affinity for trench coats?" He frowned deeply when Hijiri gave a hesitant nod to that. There was a lot that the man hadn't explained to him, and he didn't like it. Not that you would have believed him, a part of his mind taunted. You didn't believe him about being dead, why should you believe that you were something else as well?

"Yes, Tsuzuki… after he sacrificed himself to save me from the demon, then he got hurt and you made up that plan to get him back to normal…" His voice trailed off, eyes dimming in uncertainty. "You really don't remember…" He said wonderingly.

"No… I don't." Hisoka said firmly, getting irritated that he had to repeat himself over the matter. "I don't remember you, or Tsuzuki or anyone else that I apparently came across in the last three years."

"Ouch… poor Tsuzuki…" Hijiri murmured, half to himself. He didn't notice Hisoka's irritation grow. He could feel Hijiri's sympathy over the situation, his confusion and every other emotion that he wasn't aware could be bottled up inside someone.

"Why poor Tsuzuki?" He snapped. "I don't see what he has to do with anything." Everything was apparently linking back to Tsuzuki. All his questions, his reasons for questioning his very existence at the moment pointed back to the man.

Hijiri blinked and opened his mouth to answer, when the phone rang. He winced. "Let me get that real quick, Hisoka… and then I guess I can explain a few more things to you…" His confusion was evident as he hurried out of the room to take the call, almost as if he couldn't wait to get away.

Hisoka debated on leaving at that point, leaving questions unanswered, but at least he wouldn't be as frustrated over everything. To have a complete stranger claim to know him three years ago, to have met him with Tsuzuki, when he was sure that he never met the older man before a week ago. But if he left now, he would forever be wondering just what else was going on that he didn't understand.

A few minutes passed by until Hijiri came back into the room, face puzzled. "That was Tsuzuki." He said slowly. "And he said that I shouldn't tell you too much, but if you're ready to accept things, you should go back to Meifu." Now Hijiri looked even more confused, but apparently was told enough by Tsuzuki that he didn't voice his questions.

He looks more informed that I am, at any rate. Hisoka muttered crossly to himself. "I don't accept everything yet." He said stiffly. "There's one last thing that I want to do before I give in to this craziness."

Hijiri shrugged and looked apologetic. "If there was anything that I could do for you, Hisoka, I would." His voice and emotions were sincere, Hisoka had to fight to keep from cringing from the powerful emanations of it. "All I can say is that things should make sense soon. Trust in Tsuzuki…he's never let you down before, from what I've seen."

Hisoka made a face. "That is ever so helpful." He said dryly. "But I'll take it into account. It doesn't hurt to have someone to trust if they haven't really given you a reason to mistrust them."

Hijiri nodded eagerly. "Exactly. And Tsuzuki said that he'll find you when you're ready, so you don't have to worry about calling him."

"I understand." He gave an absent nod, one hand on the doorknob. "Minase-san… you really did know me three years ago, didn't you?" He probed carefully with his empathy to make sure that he was getting the truth of the matter, that everything wasn't some elaborate set up or joke.

"I did, Hisoka." Hijiri's gaze was calm. "And I'm sure that you'll remember that, too. Good luck." He was completely sincere, Hisoka could find no lie in the words. Feeling slightly ill, he knew of one last place that he had to go.

~

The last place he decided to visit was his supposed grave. It was the last piece of evidence that his brain needed. After the talk that he had with Hijiri, there wasn't much left to convince, but he needed this, if only to settle the last bits of doubt plaguing his mind.

It wasn't until he saw his name on the marker in front of him that he realized he was shaking so hard that he thought he was going to fall apart from the sheer force of it. He felt cold all over, feeling the weight of the truth settle on him. His mouth dry, he wanted to scream to deny it. I can't be dead!

"It's hard." Someone murmured, and he realized a coat was being settled around his shoulders, realizing just barely that the wind was picking up enough to be chilly. He looked up at the solemn figure of Tsuzuki, biting his lip. "This isn't all made up, is it?" He asked. "You're not just some weirdo that wants to mess with my head or hurt me or take me back to my family. You were telling the truth."

Tsuzuki nodded, the inescapable sadness in his eyes, his very posture. "I wish I wasn't Hisoka." He rested a hand on his shoulder. "Shall we go to Meifu?" He murmured softly. "You should feel right at home there." He added. "It isn't anything like you've ever seen here, but I know that … I know that you'll like it."

Hisoka nodded wearily. He was still too much in shock over his recent findings to really protest. "At least we'll see if you can prove that." He got a touch of his old asperity back. "I mean….you know—faked newspapers and gravestones are easy. But a whole world of the dead?"

Tsuzuki laughed and ruffled his hair. "You wouldn't be Hisoka if you couldn't examine the truth at every angle." He said with amusement. "Meifu is like a mirror image of Chijou. Buildings and landmarks are basically the same… with a few noticeable differences. It isn't so alien that you'll feel alone there, but it's unlike enough where you'll realize that you're no longer in the land of the living."

"Then let's go before I change my mind." He said sharply, drawing the coat more tightly around him and looking around the graveyard one last time. He wasn't ever going to come here again. It will be my last time seeing life…He thought vaguely, almost wishing that his last view of what he had known for so long was a happier one, but there wasn't much to do about it now. At least he was going to a 'better place.' He kept that in mind as the world faded around them.