Arthur looked at Ford.
Ford looked at Arthur.
It was a very common occurrence. Arthur looked. Ford looked. Somewhere in the universe, a star went supernova, killing off the entire population of a small planet Flatamort. The Flatamortians were the only race ever to succeed in calculating pi to the final digit. No one really cared. Arthur and Ford didn't even notice.
The looking turned into staring, the staring turned into gazing. Since gazing never got anyone anywhere, Ford spoke (Which usually doesn't get you any farther than gazing, but Ford was willing to give it a try, adventurous spirit that he was). "What would you do if I were to kiss you?"
"Where?" Arthur asked.
"Here." Ford responded.
"No, what part of me would you kiss?"
"Oh." Ford pondered and pointed. "That part."
"My mouth. That isn't very creative of you."
"I'm not feeling creative. What would you do?"
Arthur pondered and pointed. "I would kiss you there."
"My mouth. That isn't very..."
To stop the conversation from conversing, Arthur kissed Ford. Ford kissed Arthur. This was not a common occurrence. In fact, it had never happened before.
Ford leaned against Arthur, who took it as an invitation. He ran his hands over Ford's chest, down his waist, over his hips, lower to.... He stopped. "um, Ford?"
"um, Arthur?"
"You don't.... I mean... you're not... er... there's no..."
"Oh, yes." Ford pulled himself slightly away from Arthur. "You see... there was a mistake... and... well..."
"A mistake? That's one heck of a big mistake...!"
"You see... I was the first one to visit Earth. And I sort of... mistook the dominate life-form... for a... well..." Ford blushed. "Anyway, I don't have a... well... but I do actually have power steering and anti-lock breaks."
"You have.... What?!"
"You see... there was very little time to correct my um... mistake... before I came to Earth. So... there are still some... things missing and some... things extra. Really, Arthur, you shouldn't be so shocked, I am not actually from you home world after all." Ford waved his hand in the manner that people wave their hand when they want to dismiss a subject or shoo flies away. Arthur took it to mean the latter and continue the subject.
"What else don't you have...? Can you even... you know..."
"Oh. Well. I don't have a pinky toe or a Thymigalligolly."
"What is a thymi..golly...gally...?"
"Oh, a Thymigalligolly... I guess you don't have one either. Good. Then you won't mind that." Ford nodded his head sharply. "And as for... us being... together... you know." He took Arthur's hand in his, squeezing it. "I... only want to be close to you... to make you feel..."
Arthur stopped the conversation again. He kissed Ford, deeply, with as much feeling as he could. "But... I want you to... feel..."
"Arthur..." Ford mumbled against the other man's lips. "That was never a problem... Kiss me again...."
Arthur followed instructions nicely.