What is Love?
By MrsPadfootProngs
DISCLAIMER – Erm Remus and Sirius don't belong to me but the mention of his family, the characters do I guess.
AUTHOR NOTE – This is an one parter that suddenly came to me when I was meant to be doing my work. A 3000 word essay but how could I concentrate with this in my head. It's complete Fluff really, a wee bit of a plot line but not major like the other stories. Anyhow I hope you enjoy it.
"Remus can I ask you something?" Remus Lupin looked up with a start at the voice and blinked a couple of times before smiling widely at his best friend Sirius Black
"Ask me something" he repeated, marking his place in the old book he was reading and placing it on the table. It was a Saturday afternoon and most of the students were outside making the most of the May Sunshine, Remus however had woken up with a mad desire to read anything that was remotely interesting and after a quick breakfast in the great hall he had escaped to the library where he had been since. This was the first sight of any of his friends that he had seen since the morning. "Course you can" he replied cheerfully moving up so Sirius could collapse into the oversized chair with him, the extra weight cause Remus to slide down ever so slightly so his thigh was touching Sirius's a fact he was extremely aware of though he ignored it instead looking at his friend, his smile slowly fading to be replaced by a frown.
Sirius Black was one of the best looking people in the school, it was a fact that no one could really argue with, and not even Snape could deny the fact. He was tall for his age and his body showed the fact that he was a fitness freak. His hair was soft and shiny, cut short in a way that made people want to run their hands through the black tresses, his face was oval, his skin clear and tanned but what Remus loved the most was his eyes. Navy Blue in colour they always shone with a love of life or mischief, a wide smile nearly always covered his face showing off perfect white teeth but that was missing at that moment and the light in his eye seemed dimmer then usual.
"What's wrong Siri?" he demanded placing a calming hand on his friend's forearm. Sirius jumped as if he had forgotten he was there and turned and looked at him his face one of discomfort
"Remus" he began then stopped running a hand through his hair and leaving it at the back of neck, Remus raised an eyebrow
"We've already established that I am Remus and that you came here to ask a question" he pointed out, a slight shadow of a smile came to Sirius's lip and he turned once again to Remus his eyes scanning the other's face. Remus shifted uncomfortably under the look and looked away "Come on Siri" he prompted "Tell me what it is"
"Do you know what love is?" Sirius suddenly blurted out causing Remus to turn to him with a look of complete shock and surprise Sirius reddened under the look but kept the amber boy gaze
"Love" Remus replied flustered, whatever he had been expected Sirius asking him what love was, was not it "What kind of love?" he asked trying to gain more time. Was this Sirius way of trying to find out how Remus felt for him?
"There's more then one kind?" Sirius questioned and Remus glanced at him sharply to see if the other boy was playing a joke. Sirius face was deadly serious though; if Sirius was playing a trick on one of his friends then he found it near impossible to actually keep a straight face. Telling Remus that for once Sirius was being truthful he honestly didn't know what love is. Taking a deep breath and speaking slowly so Sirius would be able to understand him, when Remus was agitated his Irish accent had a tendency to came out extremely strong, and began
"Well I wouldn't say I was much of an expert but I know enough. What about love do you want to know?"
"What it is and who you love" the black haired boy replied promptly looking at Remus with an intense look "I'd ask James but he probably would laugh and I don't trust Pete enough to ask him"
"Well fine" Remus replied feeling a bit put off his usual calmness "The thing you've got to realise Siri is that umm love is actually really hard to describe." He stopped and bit his lip
"Go on" Sirius said nudging him slightly in the ribs
"It's a feeling" Remus continued turning his gaze from his friend and staring straight ahead "A feeling that's extremely hard to describe to anyone. It will be different for everyone and even the same person will have a different emotion for someone else" Sirius remained silent staring at the other boy
"So the same person can feel a different love for different people" Sirius said slowly and Remus nodded looking relieved
"Yeah" he stated happily, Sirius raised an eyebrow
"Give me an example" he stated "About you I mean, the different love you experience" Remus shrugged looking uncomfortable
"You know I don't like talking about stuff like this Siri" he muttered going slightly red in his cheeks
"Please Remmie" Remus sighed he could never resist Sirius when he called him Remmie.
"Well take my mum for example" he said, Sirius looked ahead listening intently, Remus rarely spoke about his home life and even less about his parents. "I doubt there's anyone I love more then my mum" he admitted staring thoughtfully into the distance "When I got bitten everyone was scared to come near me, my Dad was very hesitant around me as if he was in a conflict with himself, I get it now I'm older but I didn't then I couldn't understand it why my Dad didn't hug me anymore. It's not that he didn't want to it was just that he was brought up like everyone else to despise Werewolves and now his son was one and he loved me, he truly did and he still does but at the beginning it was hard for him" he stopped and became silent obviously lost in the memories of the past. Sirius opened his mouth to speak but then with an unusual amount of thoughtfulness he closed it again and instead waited patiently as Remus began talking again
"I've never really chatted with any of you what it was like, I don't even think you know how old I was when I was bitten do you?" he asked turning to Sirius sadly
"No" was the low reply, Sirius looked away and began studying his hands
"I was 4" Remus stated watching as Sirius's head snapped up and swung round looking at him with a barely disguised look of sympathy and horror "Yeah 4, My brother was 7 and my sister was 2, I was out when I shouldn't have been out, there was something shiny in the darkness and I went to it, turned out to be a wolf" he gave a bitter laugh "I would have been killed if my Dad didn't know how to kill one, he had a gun and when he heard me scream he shot blindly, hitting the wolf and killing it. I was very ill for 2 months and the transformations nearly killed me for that time. I don't remember any of it and even if I did I wouldn't tell you" Remus stated forestalling the question "As I told you before my Dad was in split mind, my sister Kerry was too young to understand so she was as normal as ever, Justin was a bit more wary around me, he had heard the screams of my transformations from inside the house you see and they scared him, he was only 7 after all." Sirius spoke
"And your Mum?" he asked gently, Remus smiled his eyes softening
"My mum" he repeated his voice filled with a tenderness that Sirius had never heard before, the Irish boy was normally extremely good at keeping his thoughts and opinions to himself
"My mum was my rock during that time and for the rest of my life so far. My Dad brought me in screaming and bleeding that night and he told my mum what happened, my Dad's a muggle you see but he was French and they were superstitious over things like Werewolves which is how he knew how to kill it. My Mum was a witch she knew exactly what this meant but she didn't care. She took care of me and when the others were wary around me she was completely normal, giving me hugs, kisses pretty much showering me with love in exactly the same way she had done before. Justin soon followed her example and we became closer then ever and so did my Dad. They treated me like I was a normal human being, after the Transformation my mum would care for me as if I had the flu or something. When I got my letter here however I didn't want to come" he remarked
"Why?" Sirius asked his eyes wide
"I was a monster" he stated "Or I thought myself as one, my mum was so excited that another one of her children were going off to Hogwarts and when I told her I didn't want to go, she asked me why. I told her and she stared at me and then pulled me into a massive hug, telling me not to be so stupid that no son of her was any monster and all she could see was a good looking intelligent person who was one of the bravest people she knew. She bullied me into coming here and I'm so glad she did. My mum showed me so much love so I guess it's no surprise I worship her. That's one kind of love" he stopped and turned to Sirius "Does that help a bit?" Sirius sighed
"I never knew" he remarked simply "I've never experienced that love I mean you met my mum, she's not exactly the most loving person, if that was me and what happened to you happened to me then she would have probably put me down and killed me" he gave a bitter laugh "My mother isn't like your mother and neither is my father" he stopped and Remus gave him a thoughtful look
"Then there's the love between friends" he said "Like you and me and James and Pete, the kind which you don't need to acknowledge but you know is there regardless of what you do, you don't even have to mention it because people already know it's there. I'd be willing to do anything for the three of you because I love the three of you, you know?" Sirius nodded smiling slightly
"That kind I know" he remarked "I don't even want to think what would have happened to me if it hadn't been for you and James, and even Pete in his own way, helping me alone. I probably would have ended up being up to my neck in the dark arts, as much a bastard as my brother. You would have despised me" he stated a darkened look coming to his face
"Yeah well that didn't happen and you're stuck with us" he remarked punching Sirius's arm with a laugh. Sirius rubbed it then spoke again
"What about the other kind of love?" he asked looking intently at Remus, Remus shrugged
"A man and a woman?" Remus asked and Sirius asked
"Yeah or between the same sex" he remarked casually, Remus shot him a quick look but Sirius was looking intently at the floor
"Well you're much more of an expert at that them me" he remarked with a laugh trying to relieve the tension that had suddenly settled round the two of them "But I'll give it a go" he promised
"Thanks" Sirius muttered then he fell silent waiting
"It's the hardest kind to explain, some people feel a medico love to each other, they're fond of each other and mistake it for love, sometimes they are stubborn enough to make it work other times they're not but it's never really fulfilling. Then there's the real kind" he said eyes going darker "It's the consuming kind, you think about the person all the time, even something as simple as doing homework, or eating a chocolate frog or staring out the window somehow reminds you of them. You find yourself thinking of them first thing in the morning and the very last thing you think of at night and all the time in-between. It's like an obsession or a drug, if you fall in love, proper love mind you then you'll end up loving that person all your life, even if you don't end up together and you end up with other people there still this part of you that loves them. When your around them your heart starts pounding so hard that you're sure that they can hear it, you're stomach feels queasy from all the butterflies in there, you suddenly become aware of everything from the way they look to the way they breath, your hand become sweaty and you suddenly feel your on fire but it's a good feeling as like the rest of your life would be happy if you could just live on this feeling" he trailed off biting his lip not daring to look at Sirius "When you love someone you know you love them, if you doubt it then it's not true love. I see it with my mum and Dad but I know it because I lo…" he stopped and stood up going red "Yeah well I hope that helped you Siri" he remarked "See you at dinner" he walked off feeling embarrassed he might as well of had a tattoo on his forehead saying what a complete prat he was, why on earth had he started sprouted out his feeling for Sirius like that, the boy wasn't stupid he'd know and he nearly turned round and said he loved Sirius.
He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice muffled footstep behind him, it was only when an arm grabbed his own and swung him round that he knew. He looked up at Sirius who was looking down at him with a strange expression in his eyes. Remus raised an eyebrow
"Sirius?" Sirius didn't give an answer instead he brought both his hand up to frame his friend's oval face and looking deep into startled amber eyes he leaned forward touching his lips to Remus's. Remus went rigid from shock his eyes widening to their fullest extent as Sirius began kissing him properly, his eyes fluttered shut as his world felt like it exploded and his knees buckled as his arms wrapped round Sirius's neck and he began kissing him back. It had to go on for 5 minutes, both of them just exploring each other mouths regardless of the fact they were in the library. Finally Sirius leaned back letting out a shaky breath as an awed smile came to his face
"Thank you Remus" he said
"Why?" Remus asked his voice trembling slightly, Sirius still had his arms round the smaller boy's waist which Remus was extremely thankful for.
"For finally telling me how I feel for you, I couldn't understand it why I felt more for you then for anyone else, I thought it was some protective streak in me that you woke up and technically it was. I didn't realise it was love though until you explained it, everything you described about all consuming love is what I feel for you and I've only just bloody realised" Remus stared at him in shock before a smile curved his lips
"Well you always were really slow Siri" he remarked, Sirius grinned
"I'm guessing after kissing me the way you did you were describing your feelings for me?" Remus stared at him then nodded his head
"Yeah, I thought you would realise so I went" he remarked, Sirius laughed
"Don't do it again" he warned "Though it was what prompted me to jump you, I couldn't let you leave without telling you something" Remus swallowed hard
"Which is?" Sirius smiled
"That I love you Remus, the all consuming, all powerful bordering on complete obsession type of love, you're my world little Werewolf and I don't know what I would do without you" Remus smiled at him though he remained silent, all his feelings were clear in the eyes that were looking at Sirius in a way that could only be described as adoring. "Glad to see you feel the same way!" Sirius remarked pulling the boy closer "If you didn't then I'd still chase you until you fell under my charms" Remus laughed
"And how would you do that Siri?" he demanded causing Sirius to grin roguishly at him
"Like this" he said and pulled him into another passion filled kiss the first of many.
A/N – Don't ask me why but I felt the need to write it, I've always had a complete clear idea on all 4 Marauders family life and all and this was how I viewed Remmie's Anyhow please review but no flames. Thanks
