Chapter 22 - Crop Circles, Conspiracy and Confessions
******
A/N to Clover the Sea-Beast : Oh bollox, how did I do that. Don't worry I've fixed that
little glitch. Incidentally in folklore male and female Dwarves look very similar and
the whole mating ritual is to tactfully work out what sex the other dwarf is. So it is
possible!
No update tomorrow. I'm going to visit my cousin, Josh. Interestingly he was the inspiration for Trin's character...^_^
******
The cart moved on down the hill that was covered by a light dusting of snow. The
weather, as Hoggle explained was very unusual and practically anything could happen.
This turned out to be true when the sun suddenly burst out from behind the heavy
clouds and the snow disappeared as fast as it had fallen.
They spent the next few hours in silence, until they reached a large field of wheat. It
was unusual for a crop to survive such unpredictable weather, but it was still the first
sign of civilisation they had seen all day.
"Oooh! Stop the cart! Stop the cart!" shouted Hilarity and jumped out onto the
abandoned path. She winked at Jareth. "I know something that'll cheer you up." And
with that she ran full pelt into the field, expertly stamping some bits and leaving the
rest upright. She returned breathless and grinning like an exited child. Jareth noticed
the perfect crop circle she had just made which contained a portrait of the four of
them looking like they were having a jolly old time.
"How did you do that?" he said with wonder.
"When Trin and I were kids we used stop off on random planets and make these
whenever we went on holiday. It was like, planet graffiti. The best one I ever did was
a woman in a hula skirt and when the wind blew it looked like she was dancing." she
said with pride "So, do you feel better?"
"A little."
"Just a little?" she looked disappointed, surely a crop circle would've cheered anyone
up. "Fine...tell ya what! As soon as we get to Warshangburg we can get drunk and
play table-football. Just remind yourself of that when you're feeling low."
******
"You mean they're still alive!?!" said the Prince of Darkness angrily "**** that
****ing vampire. Didn't I say : Never send the undead to do a demon's work!"
"Yes your evilness." said Darren miserably. He had been strung up by the hooves for
this little moment of stupidity.
"And a FLOOD! A ****ing flood!! What were you thinking?!?"
"I wasn't your evilness!" Darren whimpered as his master threateningly pulled a record
from its sleeve. "OH NO!!! NOT THE EASY LISTENING MUSIC!!!"
"Oh Yes!"
"I won't fail again! I swear on my mother's grave!"
"Darren. Your mother's still alive and you hate her."
"Fine! I swear on my stamp collection!"
"Now that's more ****ing like it. This is your last chance, Darren, and I have the
perfect plan to stop those ****ing meddlesome freaks from stealing the chosen one."
******
Trin looked up suddenly when he heard the screaming. "What was that?" he said
nervously.
"Well I'm an expert or anything," said the Breville Monkey "But I think that was the
sound of an unfortunate demon getting strung up by the hooves and made to listen to
Easy listening music!" Trin gasped with horror. "Don't worry. I'll put a good word in
for you. Just count yourself lucky that your friends with the master's favourite snack
maker."
******
"So where do you come from, Tom? What's it like?" said Hilarity. The two of them
had started walking alongside the cart while Jareth slept off his headache. Thomas
looked across at his new partner and smiled. She looked so wonderful. The midday
sunshine picked out the dark blue highlights in her hair and her baggy combats rustled
in the breeze along with her raincoat that she had tied around her waist...
"Hellooo. Ground control to Major Tom. Will you please stop ogling me and answer
my question." she joked.
"Sorry." he replied sheepishly "What did you say?"
"Where do you come from?" Hilarity repeated.
The alien thought about this for a moment. "I can't remember exactly where." he
confessed "I know it was towards the outer rim of Andromeda, but I've been drunk for
so long, the rest is pretty hazy."
"What do you remember then?"
"There was a disaster. A drought! I think it had something to do with the star we
orbited. It started to get unstable and threw out all these solar flares and my planet got
the worst of it. That was why I left. To find water or a place to evacuate to."
"So how did you end up on Earth?"
"It was the only compatible planet I could find that wouldn't be able to put up a fight."
"Yes they are mostly harmless."
"They still caught me though. Not through warfare, but they still trapped me with their
vices and hatred. I can't remember what they did to me exactly, just vague
recollections of lights and wires and the sound of my voice screaming for mercy."
"What did you do?" cried Hilarity, eyes wide with horror.
"I escaped. But I had already failed. All I could do was send one last message to my
wife children and hope they received it before they died of thirst. Then I just decided
to accept my fate and drink myself to death."
"That awful!" the girl sobbed "I'm sorry. I had no idea."
"Don't apologise." he whispered "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here. You rescued
me, took me in without question, gave me a fresh start. You've helped me make peace
with myself." The two of them slowly walked hand in hand and dusted of each others
distant memories long into the afternoon. Meanwhile, Hoggle listened to their quiet
voices that were almost drowned out by the insulated thud of hooves. He understood
very little of the conversation but could identify their honesty. He wished he could
have that again. As the sun began to set they caught a glimpse of the merry streetlights
of Washangburg. Their journey could only get harder from now on...
******
A/N to Clover the Sea-Beast : Oh bollox, how did I do that. Don't worry I've fixed that
little glitch. Incidentally in folklore male and female Dwarves look very similar and
the whole mating ritual is to tactfully work out what sex the other dwarf is. So it is
possible!
No update tomorrow. I'm going to visit my cousin, Josh. Interestingly he was the inspiration for Trin's character...^_^
******
The cart moved on down the hill that was covered by a light dusting of snow. The
weather, as Hoggle explained was very unusual and practically anything could happen.
This turned out to be true when the sun suddenly burst out from behind the heavy
clouds and the snow disappeared as fast as it had fallen.
They spent the next few hours in silence, until they reached a large field of wheat. It
was unusual for a crop to survive such unpredictable weather, but it was still the first
sign of civilisation they had seen all day.
"Oooh! Stop the cart! Stop the cart!" shouted Hilarity and jumped out onto the
abandoned path. She winked at Jareth. "I know something that'll cheer you up." And
with that she ran full pelt into the field, expertly stamping some bits and leaving the
rest upright. She returned breathless and grinning like an exited child. Jareth noticed
the perfect crop circle she had just made which contained a portrait of the four of
them looking like they were having a jolly old time.
"How did you do that?" he said with wonder.
"When Trin and I were kids we used stop off on random planets and make these
whenever we went on holiday. It was like, planet graffiti. The best one I ever did was
a woman in a hula skirt and when the wind blew it looked like she was dancing." she
said with pride "So, do you feel better?"
"A little."
"Just a little?" she looked disappointed, surely a crop circle would've cheered anyone
up. "Fine...tell ya what! As soon as we get to Warshangburg we can get drunk and
play table-football. Just remind yourself of that when you're feeling low."
******
"You mean they're still alive!?!" said the Prince of Darkness angrily "**** that
****ing vampire. Didn't I say : Never send the undead to do a demon's work!"
"Yes your evilness." said Darren miserably. He had been strung up by the hooves for
this little moment of stupidity.
"And a FLOOD! A ****ing flood!! What were you thinking?!?"
"I wasn't your evilness!" Darren whimpered as his master threateningly pulled a record
from its sleeve. "OH NO!!! NOT THE EASY LISTENING MUSIC!!!"
"Oh Yes!"
"I won't fail again! I swear on my mother's grave!"
"Darren. Your mother's still alive and you hate her."
"Fine! I swear on my stamp collection!"
"Now that's more ****ing like it. This is your last chance, Darren, and I have the
perfect plan to stop those ****ing meddlesome freaks from stealing the chosen one."
******
Trin looked up suddenly when he heard the screaming. "What was that?" he said
nervously.
"Well I'm an expert or anything," said the Breville Monkey "But I think that was the
sound of an unfortunate demon getting strung up by the hooves and made to listen to
Easy listening music!" Trin gasped with horror. "Don't worry. I'll put a good word in
for you. Just count yourself lucky that your friends with the master's favourite snack
maker."
******
"So where do you come from, Tom? What's it like?" said Hilarity. The two of them
had started walking alongside the cart while Jareth slept off his headache. Thomas
looked across at his new partner and smiled. She looked so wonderful. The midday
sunshine picked out the dark blue highlights in her hair and her baggy combats rustled
in the breeze along with her raincoat that she had tied around her waist...
"Hellooo. Ground control to Major Tom. Will you please stop ogling me and answer
my question." she joked.
"Sorry." he replied sheepishly "What did you say?"
"Where do you come from?" Hilarity repeated.
The alien thought about this for a moment. "I can't remember exactly where." he
confessed "I know it was towards the outer rim of Andromeda, but I've been drunk for
so long, the rest is pretty hazy."
"What do you remember then?"
"There was a disaster. A drought! I think it had something to do with the star we
orbited. It started to get unstable and threw out all these solar flares and my planet got
the worst of it. That was why I left. To find water or a place to evacuate to."
"So how did you end up on Earth?"
"It was the only compatible planet I could find that wouldn't be able to put up a fight."
"Yes they are mostly harmless."
"They still caught me though. Not through warfare, but they still trapped me with their
vices and hatred. I can't remember what they did to me exactly, just vague
recollections of lights and wires and the sound of my voice screaming for mercy."
"What did you do?" cried Hilarity, eyes wide with horror.
"I escaped. But I had already failed. All I could do was send one last message to my
wife children and hope they received it before they died of thirst. Then I just decided
to accept my fate and drink myself to death."
"That awful!" the girl sobbed "I'm sorry. I had no idea."
"Don't apologise." he whispered "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here. You rescued
me, took me in without question, gave me a fresh start. You've helped me make peace
with myself." The two of them slowly walked hand in hand and dusted of each others
distant memories long into the afternoon. Meanwhile, Hoggle listened to their quiet
voices that were almost drowned out by the insulated thud of hooves. He understood
very little of the conversation but could identify their honesty. He wished he could
have that again. As the sun began to set they caught a glimpse of the merry streetlights
of Washangburg. Their journey could only get harder from now on...
