Chapter 23 - Reservation, Demons only!
******
A/N - Hi guys! Sorry it's been a while. I had a two day long art exam with nothing but
my David Bowie albums and an assortment of sugary snacks to keep me company.
Anyhew, an extra long, uber funny chappie today. Enjoy and please review.
Luv from
Hello it's me fantastic
******
"There it is!" said Hoggle "Warshangburg. The city at the end of the world."
"It looks a bit too happy to be at the end of the world!" Hilarity mused.
"Well, what you do if you knew the world was coming to an end?" asked the Gnome.
"Me? I'd have a huge party. Enjoy the time I had left." the alien replied.
"That's what they think too." said the Gnome gruffly.
"Sounds like my kind of city!" she said happily.
"It would be if it wasn't crawling with the Prince of Darkness' spies." Hoggle warned.
Before he could explain further he was interrupted by the weight of the cart shifting
slightly. Jareth emerged looking the worst for wear. There was a ladder in his tights
and his hair was flat on one side and static on the other.
"Christ! Whoever came up with the beauty sleep theory obviously never met you."
Hilarity giggled.
"Oh shut up, I'm ill." the Goblin King groaned unhappily and picked a few bits of
straw out of his hair.
"Ahem!" said Hoggle sharply "As I was saying, we will have to disguise ourselves as
peasants before we approach the city. I'm guessing all the stratas of Hell are looking
for you so we'll have to be inconspicuous. I've got some cheap clobber in the back."
******
Five minutes later the four of them entered the city gates in their peasant garb. The
men were wearing tunics, tights and feathered hats and unfortunately looked like a
bunch of outlaws who worked for a certain Mr Hood. Hilarity was wearing a light
brown dress with white sleeves and a darker corseted piece over the top. It would've
looked OK if it hadn't been designed for someone a lot shorter and bustier than she was.
N'ya well. Such is life. Jareth on the other hand was in a foul mood about the whole
scenario and was still complaining about it.
"I still don't see why I should disguise myself." he said miserably.
"There not looking for three peasants and a dead Gnome." said Hilarity "But if two
peasants, a dead Gnome and a Goblin King walked by I think they would suss us out."
"Fine, whatever. You didn't have to rugby tackle me though."
"I thought you were trying to run away."
"I'll never live this down."
"Look, I know it's not your usual satin and tat, but that's the way it is, dude. Look on
the bright side, that hat really does hide your bad hair day well." she said cheerily.
"I don't know. I feel like the further I go, the more I lose. My magic, my hair, my
clothes..."
Yeah, and all you've got now is your good looks, natural charm and enormous
genitalia." said Hilarity sarcastically "Honestly Jareth, you need to start looking at the
glass as if it were half full. You can't go to the Land of the dead and not experience
some kind of spiritual change."
Jareth decided to give this conversation a miss. He hated it when Hilarity proved him
wrong. Seeing that he wasn't going to argue, Hilarity changed the subject: "Right,
while we're in the city we can't use our real names. Jareth, you can be Jake, I'll be
Hilary, Tom can stay as he is (no one's after him) and Hedgehog, you can be
called....Hoggle. That'll do."
"Great, thanks." said Hoggle sarcastically, he wasn't even going to bother correcting
them this time.
"I know it's a crappy name Hedwig, but its only for a short time."
******
The city was experiencing what seemed like a permanent Oktoberfest. Every inn and
every bar was throwing a wild party with raucous music and bread and beer by the
bucket load. The four adventurers took no time in joining the festivities in one of the
beer halls. Thomas quickly whisked Hilarity away in the direction of the dance floor
while Hoggle went to inspect the hundreds of souvenir stalls outside. Jareth was left to
himself and, for the first time in his life, felt really left out. He was out of his element
here without his powers and he wasn't used to being alone in a crowd. Even on Zea,
Hilarity would always stick around but now that silly little pet of hers was demanding
her constant attention she hadn't given him a second glance. Still there was no point in
standing around. Amongst all the kerfuffle, stood a heavy wooden table with a chess
set on it. It was the only free table in the building but the locals seemed to be avoiding
it for some reason. With a fleeting look at his friends (They were dancing surprisingly
slowly compared with the upbeat tempo of the music, arms firmly around one another
with Thomas's head resting happily on Hilarity's shoulder) the Goblin King sat down,
nursing his tankard of ale. Almost as soon as he sat down a cowled figure sat down
opposite him. He could just make out the cloven hooves under the stranger's robes.
These demons were not the brightest in the world.
"Psst!" whispered the stranger.
"Not yet." he replied coolly.
"Not pissed, psst!" the demon said angrily.
"May I help you?" said Jareth and gave the creature a charismatic smile.
"Have you, by any chance seen two aliens, a Goblin King and a dead Gnome
anywhere?"
"Who? Me? No." he replied fighting back a little smirk.
"Oh! OK then. Fancy a game of chess?"
"Why not." said the disguised Goblin King and they started playing. "So why are you
looking for aliens? No flying saucers I hope."
"No. The master told me to stop them from stealing back the chosen one." said the
demon.
"Chosen one?"
"Yes. The child of the Goblin King is destined to destroy the living world and start a
new reign of terror." said the demon then suddenly looked suspicious "What's it to you
anyway?"
"Just taking an interest in local affairs." said Jareth nonchalantly. "So how does he
plan to keep the aliens away?"
"You're not a Goblin King are ya?"
"Of course not. I'm Jake the ..... loveable rogue." God he hoped that was a genuine
profession.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive."
"Only fools are positive."
"Are you sure?" said Jareth sneakily.
"I'm positive....Oh crap! You got me! I should've known!"
"Look, if I was a Goblin King...which I'm not...I would probably make my presence
very clear and interrogate everyone as to where the baby is."
"I guess you're right." said the demon "The plan is to separate them and make them
each face the tree of temptation where if they give in they will be trapped for all
eternity. The clever part is that the temptations are tailor made to suit your darkest
desires."
"Cool. Then what?"
"They must cross the bridge of oblivion where their knowledge will be tested to its
very limits. If they fail they will be cast into a river of molten lava."
"Ooooh, that's original. Then what?"
"they must face Cerberus the three headed hound of Hell who guards the entrance to
the Land of the Dead and can only be rendered helpless if you play him music. Neat
huh?"
"Not really. Check mate." said Jareth "Well, it was very interesting talking to you
mister...demon." he could hardly contain his smugness "If I see any aliens I'll let you
know." he quickly left the table to find the others. Christ , that was almost too easy!
******
A/N - Hi guys! Sorry it's been a while. I had a two day long art exam with nothing but
my David Bowie albums and an assortment of sugary snacks to keep me company.
Anyhew, an extra long, uber funny chappie today. Enjoy and please review.
Luv from
Hello it's me fantastic
******
"There it is!" said Hoggle "Warshangburg. The city at the end of the world."
"It looks a bit too happy to be at the end of the world!" Hilarity mused.
"Well, what you do if you knew the world was coming to an end?" asked the Gnome.
"Me? I'd have a huge party. Enjoy the time I had left." the alien replied.
"That's what they think too." said the Gnome gruffly.
"Sounds like my kind of city!" she said happily.
"It would be if it wasn't crawling with the Prince of Darkness' spies." Hoggle warned.
Before he could explain further he was interrupted by the weight of the cart shifting
slightly. Jareth emerged looking the worst for wear. There was a ladder in his tights
and his hair was flat on one side and static on the other.
"Christ! Whoever came up with the beauty sleep theory obviously never met you."
Hilarity giggled.
"Oh shut up, I'm ill." the Goblin King groaned unhappily and picked a few bits of
straw out of his hair.
"Ahem!" said Hoggle sharply "As I was saying, we will have to disguise ourselves as
peasants before we approach the city. I'm guessing all the stratas of Hell are looking
for you so we'll have to be inconspicuous. I've got some cheap clobber in the back."
******
Five minutes later the four of them entered the city gates in their peasant garb. The
men were wearing tunics, tights and feathered hats and unfortunately looked like a
bunch of outlaws who worked for a certain Mr Hood. Hilarity was wearing a light
brown dress with white sleeves and a darker corseted piece over the top. It would've
looked OK if it hadn't been designed for someone a lot shorter and bustier than she was.
N'ya well. Such is life. Jareth on the other hand was in a foul mood about the whole
scenario and was still complaining about it.
"I still don't see why I should disguise myself." he said miserably.
"There not looking for three peasants and a dead Gnome." said Hilarity "But if two
peasants, a dead Gnome and a Goblin King walked by I think they would suss us out."
"Fine, whatever. You didn't have to rugby tackle me though."
"I thought you were trying to run away."
"I'll never live this down."
"Look, I know it's not your usual satin and tat, but that's the way it is, dude. Look on
the bright side, that hat really does hide your bad hair day well." she said cheerily.
"I don't know. I feel like the further I go, the more I lose. My magic, my hair, my
clothes..."
Yeah, and all you've got now is your good looks, natural charm and enormous
genitalia." said Hilarity sarcastically "Honestly Jareth, you need to start looking at the
glass as if it were half full. You can't go to the Land of the dead and not experience
some kind of spiritual change."
Jareth decided to give this conversation a miss. He hated it when Hilarity proved him
wrong. Seeing that he wasn't going to argue, Hilarity changed the subject: "Right,
while we're in the city we can't use our real names. Jareth, you can be Jake, I'll be
Hilary, Tom can stay as he is (no one's after him) and Hedgehog, you can be
called....Hoggle. That'll do."
"Great, thanks." said Hoggle sarcastically, he wasn't even going to bother correcting
them this time.
"I know it's a crappy name Hedwig, but its only for a short time."
******
The city was experiencing what seemed like a permanent Oktoberfest. Every inn and
every bar was throwing a wild party with raucous music and bread and beer by the
bucket load. The four adventurers took no time in joining the festivities in one of the
beer halls. Thomas quickly whisked Hilarity away in the direction of the dance floor
while Hoggle went to inspect the hundreds of souvenir stalls outside. Jareth was left to
himself and, for the first time in his life, felt really left out. He was out of his element
here without his powers and he wasn't used to being alone in a crowd. Even on Zea,
Hilarity would always stick around but now that silly little pet of hers was demanding
her constant attention she hadn't given him a second glance. Still there was no point in
standing around. Amongst all the kerfuffle, stood a heavy wooden table with a chess
set on it. It was the only free table in the building but the locals seemed to be avoiding
it for some reason. With a fleeting look at his friends (They were dancing surprisingly
slowly compared with the upbeat tempo of the music, arms firmly around one another
with Thomas's head resting happily on Hilarity's shoulder) the Goblin King sat down,
nursing his tankard of ale. Almost as soon as he sat down a cowled figure sat down
opposite him. He could just make out the cloven hooves under the stranger's robes.
These demons were not the brightest in the world.
"Psst!" whispered the stranger.
"Not yet." he replied coolly.
"Not pissed, psst!" the demon said angrily.
"May I help you?" said Jareth and gave the creature a charismatic smile.
"Have you, by any chance seen two aliens, a Goblin King and a dead Gnome
anywhere?"
"Who? Me? No." he replied fighting back a little smirk.
"Oh! OK then. Fancy a game of chess?"
"Why not." said the disguised Goblin King and they started playing. "So why are you
looking for aliens? No flying saucers I hope."
"No. The master told me to stop them from stealing back the chosen one." said the
demon.
"Chosen one?"
"Yes. The child of the Goblin King is destined to destroy the living world and start a
new reign of terror." said the demon then suddenly looked suspicious "What's it to you
anyway?"
"Just taking an interest in local affairs." said Jareth nonchalantly. "So how does he
plan to keep the aliens away?"
"You're not a Goblin King are ya?"
"Of course not. I'm Jake the ..... loveable rogue." God he hoped that was a genuine
profession.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive."
"Only fools are positive."
"Are you sure?" said Jareth sneakily.
"I'm positive....Oh crap! You got me! I should've known!"
"Look, if I was a Goblin King...which I'm not...I would probably make my presence
very clear and interrogate everyone as to where the baby is."
"I guess you're right." said the demon "The plan is to separate them and make them
each face the tree of temptation where if they give in they will be trapped for all
eternity. The clever part is that the temptations are tailor made to suit your darkest
desires."
"Cool. Then what?"
"They must cross the bridge of oblivion where their knowledge will be tested to its
very limits. If they fail they will be cast into a river of molten lava."
"Ooooh, that's original. Then what?"
"they must face Cerberus the three headed hound of Hell who guards the entrance to
the Land of the Dead and can only be rendered helpless if you play him music. Neat
huh?"
"Not really. Check mate." said Jareth "Well, it was very interesting talking to you
mister...demon." he could hardly contain his smugness "If I see any aliens I'll let you
know." he quickly left the table to find the others. Christ , that was almost too easy!
