Chapter 24 - Olde Worlde Inns

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A/N - I sincerely apologise for my blatant use of a Simpson joke later on in this
chapter. The Simpsons belong to Matt Groening and not me. Thank you, please read
and review. Enjoy!

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The next morning, Hilarity woke up feeling disorientated and majorly hung over. She
seemed to be in a bedroom of some sort. Vague memories nagged at her about
walking around for hours trying to find an inn. Then she noticed the strange little alien
snuggled up to her. Oh no! They didn't! Did they? It was all a blur but they were both
fully clothed so that was a good sign. She slowly got up, her head was throbbing and
her stomach felt like an overactive volcano. She took a step forward and fell flat on
her face. What the hell was that on the floor? She looked at where her feet were and
saw Jareth asleep on the floor under what looked like an old curtain.

"Oi! Dude, wake up." she whispered. No answer. "Wake up!" she said a little louder.

Jareth made a noise that sounded a bit like "Hm? Wa? B'ger off."

"Come on, kiddo. Time to get up."

"I don't feel so good." moaned the Goblin King.

"Hey congratulations! You're first real hangover."

"Oh God! And all those times, I thought you were faking." he muttered and staggered
to an open window. Hilarity heard an assortment of vomiting noises followed several
screams from the street below.

"OK. Throwing up on peasants is not a very good idea." she said and looked around
for a bathroom. However the medieval set of the building didn't provide one. "Bloody
olde worlde inns! Haven't they ever heard of plumbing?! Oh well, never mind. I guess
the peasants will just have to suffer for it." She hastily woke up Thomas, who had
been very good the night before and hadn't touched a drop, thus walking away with his
new-found teetotalism intact. They began to rummage around to find what was left of
their belongings.

"So, what that demon say?" asked Hilarity.

"Do you remember having a goat?" Thomas interrupted.

"I don't know, Tommy. I think it followed us." she said absent-mindedly. "What was I
on about? Oh yeah, the demon."

"He told us we will have to face the Tree of Temptation, the Bridge of Oblivion and a
three headed dog." said Jareth, shoving some things into his backpack.

"They sure like their funny names around here." said Hilarity and opened a draw only
to find a sleeping Gnome in it. She jumped violently and given the traditional low,
medieval ceilings, struck her head again.

"Helga! Don't scare me like that!"

"It's Hoggle!"

"We don't need to used our pretend names when we're alone."

"No! I mean...oh, never mind!" said the Gnome grumpily.

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It was late morning and our four heroes had reached the edge of the Forest of Fatality.
The dark trees loomed over them and nearly blocked out any trace of the sun. The
brambles were so overgrown two of them had to take it in turns to cut it back so that
the cart could pass through. It was lucky that Hoggle had thought of buying some
decent swords the night before or they would have been thoroughly screwed. Hour
after hour of wilderness unfolded, but the travellers tried to put a brave face on things
and kept on talking to avoid thinking about the mysterious shadows all around them.

"So what's the deal with you and Thomas then?" asked Jareth. He and Hilarity were
doing their shift in front while the other two did their best to control the cart over the
bumpy ground.

"There's no deal. We're just friends, that's all." she replied, going bright red all the
while.

"No. We are just friends, and I don't think you've ever let me feel you up the way he's
been doing lately. You two are constantly sneaking off together."

"Fine! I admit it. We're in love." Jareth scoffed at this "Well we have lived together
for six years. Something had to happen eventually." she defended then a thought came
to her "You're feeling left out aren't you?"

"No I'm not. I'm just concerned."

"It's OK to admit it, Jareth. Remember when you started seeing Sarah..."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Flashback ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hilarity was lying back on her couch idly dictating an article to ZEMAC the
household computer. Suddenly Jareth appeared in the middle of the living room,
grinning stupidly.

"Hils! Guess what happened to me tonight!"

Hilarity hardly batted an eyelid "I dunno. You and Sarah did it on the couch." she said
sarcastically.

"She said no to me! Have you any idea how many women have done that?" he sighed,
obviously too smitten to notice his friends bad mood.

"Three hundred and forty seven."

"Yes. But only one since I was crowned Goblin King. Isn't that fantastic? She wants
substance not a fancy title."

"Well, I hid the substance in the lining of my suitcase but you can give it to her if its
that important." she sneered.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ End of Flashback ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Oh yeah." said Jareth, cringing at the unpleasant memory.

"So why do they call it the Forest of Fatality?" said Hilarity swiftly changing the
subject. Before her friend could answer a giant reddish brown monster jumped out of
the bushes and let out a terrifying roar.

"That's why!" said Jareth....