I sat there frozen to the cushion. He had kissed me. It was completely unexpected. Okay, so he might be a little infatuated with me. A crush I could cope with. But a kiss said a whole lot more…and I didn't think I could handle that.

"Why oh why did he have to stay home tonight?" I lamented to myself.

I knew why, though. Don wasn't quite up to par yet from his injuries and his brothers didn't want him to take any chances. Despite his protests, he relented and stuck around the lair. Stupid Foot! If it weren't for them, Gracie would still be alive and Don would be out foraging!

From what I had observed since living in the lair, Don's current behavior went WAY beyond what I expected from him. I could see Mikey kissing me – just to get a reaction. If Raph had feelings for me I could see him taking his chances and going for it. Leo? Well, if Leo had any at all I think he would have done more kata's rather than allow him self the pleasure!

But, Don? Never did I ever think he would act on his feelings the way he did. He was just too – shy! It totally caught me by surprise.

"Ah, Don…why did you just kiss me?" I asked cautiously after he pulled away from me.

I saw his eyes and they were the most sincerest I'd ever seen them. I knew then he was in deep. Sheesh, this would be quite an entry for my diary. That is, if I kept one.

"Min, I – ah – " he gulped. His eyes sort of refocused about then.

You know how embarrassing it is when you've found yourself looking at nothing in particular and then all of a sudden you realize you'd actually been staring at someone? I think Don was just realizing what he had done. He looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"Memory refresher - you kissed me! Okay…now I want to know why?" I reminded him.

"Yes, I- I know. " Don stammered. He looked beyond me as if in some way some how he'd find an answer written on the far wall.

Finally, he looked at me and said softly as if he didn't want anyone else to hear, "I think I love you."

Ah, nuts. What was I to do now? I had to find some way of letting him down easy. I think Don was the type that would crumble easily, given his gentle and usually quiet nature.

I didn't want to offend him. But quite frankly, even though I've accepted him and his brothers as my friends, I just couldn't see them any other way than that. Don had been kind and considerate, but my heart just wasn't where his was.

"I'm twice your age, Don. I'm old and will be getting older. I don't plan on living down here forever, you know!" I answered as gently as I could.

"Min, I don't care about numbers; it doesn't matter to me." He stated quite honestly. "And you can still go back to work and live here."

His eyes were incredibly deep as he began to smile at me. Don then took my hand and I had all I could do from taking it back. I didn't want to encourage him but I didn't want to offend him, either. I kept wondering where his uncanny ability to sense my feelings had gone to? I could certainly use some of it right about now!

I looked away, afraid that my less than enthusiastic response would be misinterpreted. The last thing I wanted to do was to give him the impression that it was because he wasn't human. Quite honestly, I was past all of that. I didn't see Don and his brothers as turtles but as friends.

It's funny how familiarity breeds acceptance.

If I were younger…well, maybe my heart would have been there for him. I don't really know, quite honestly. But the fact is here was this sweet guy bearing his soul to me and the best I could do was look away.

What a ditz I was.

"Min, I realize that this has caught you by surprise. I'm sorry." Don began to say, "But the past week has been awful for me."

Hmmm, awful for him? I just lost a good friend. I didn't kiss Splinter because of that. Wouldn't that have surprised the old rodent had I done so?

I had to suppress a giggle since at the moment it would have been misinterpreted by my shell-backed friend sitting next to me. The moony expression on his face was so cute, but it also seemed very sad. I think in the deepest recesses of his gray matter, Don knew it wouldn't work. I could tell he was in denial but was refusing to accept it.

"Don, I know that you were hurt pretty badly. The injuries you suffered were quite ugly – at least to me they were. But ..." I began, but then Don interrupted me.

"No, the injuries weren't that bad. It was not seeing you that whole time that made me miserable. I missed you – a lot." He cooed.

The look in his eyes intensified and it was at that moment I wanted to climb up out of the lair and run. I didn't feel threatened, but I saw reflected in his expression something that I had been denying.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think any of them would be attracted to me. Maybe I had unintentionally encouraged this reaction from Don because of things said and touches given? If so, then I was at fault here. I should have known better.



Because of my training as a teacher and a professor, it was a requirement to learn how to avoid becoming romantically involved with a student. I had to endure many lectures and seminars regarding proper teacher to student behavior and conduct. There were too numerous examples of disasters regarding unrequited love that crushed a student's feelings or put the professors in compromising situations. A teaching career could be ruined all because one did not protect their students heart as well as their own.

One colleague of mine at Cornell had actually fallen in love with one of her students. They were fifteen years apart and her marriage had just tanked. Sybil was on the rebound and to make matters worse, the young man was smitten with her. That added up to a whole lot of trouble. She was dismissed of her position at the school and the young man was expulsed. The last I knew of they were still together; albeit it was a bittersweet relationship because now her successful career was ruined.

That example stuck with me and I adhered to the restrictions religiously.

I looked over at Donnie and I told him as gently as I could, "I'm sorry, Don, but I don't share the same kind of love for you as you seem to have for me. You're a sweet guy and I do love both you and your brothers, but…"

However, right about then the news on the television caught my attention; I heard Gracie's Grocers mentioned. Then the most amazing thing of all was I heard my ex-boss's name! I turned sharply to face the television so I could catch what was being said. I saw Crazy Bill as he was being interviewed. What was this all about? I concluded quickly that maybe he was being questioned regarding the fire that happened ten days earlier. I was partially correct.

From the way the reporter was talking, there had been a rash of burglaries, fires, and one missing person that had yet to be found.

"So, Mr. Angelo, what is your opinion about all these occurrences happening in your neighborhood?" the woman holding the microphone asked.

"All I knows is our neighborhood's been goin' thru hell lately. Our favorite grocer, Gracie, is dead 'cuz some idjit torched 'er place and one of my best waitresses has been miss'n fer weeks! Plus, her apartment's been ransacked and not'n's left but the rats. And no witn'sses either! The po-lice hasn't ev'n bothr'd ta investigate it 'cuz she was no one. Jus' b'cuz someone duz'n have fam'ly duz'n mean thur nobody!" Bill was anguished and I could tell that he had been crying.

That was Bill for you; tough as nails but with a tender heart.

"Well, I'm sure the authorities are doing as much as they can with all the crime that your area has been suffering lately." The reporter then turned towards the camera and entreated her audience, "Maybe someone can shed some light on these two occurrences. If anyone saw something unusual on March fifteenth at around three in the morning at Prospect Ave and 8th St., please call the police. Additionally, if anyone has any information on the whereabouts of a forty-one year old Caucasian woman, missing since the middle of February, please contact your local law enforcement agency. She has light brown hair, stands five-feet four inches tall, and weighs about one hundred five pounds. The woman's name is Mindy Johnson and we know of at least one person who is very concerned for her. That's all from Brooklyn, New York. Now back to you Chuck!"

I was transfixed as I stared at the screen. I had been down in the sewer for nearly six weeks while I recovered from my beating. But my isolation had sheltered me from the grief that was obviously torturing my employer. I felt an overwhelming need to contact him – personally. But how?

It then occurred to me and I slapped my forehead at my stupidity. Because of where I was, I had totally forgotten that my caretakers had a phone. I vaguely remember Splinter telling me about it since it was way back when I was just getting around after being bedridden. At the time, I was overwhelmed with my ribs, Splinter, and everything that I had gone through.

I looked up to ask Donatello where the phone was and noticed that he was no longer sitting next to me.

The last thing I remember telling him was…I couldn't remember! Darn, what was it we were talking about?

I was so overwhelmed with seeing Bill on the tube that I momentarily forgot what had happened previously.

Then, it hit me. The last thing I said to Don was I didn't have the kind of love for him as he had for me.

I looked up toward Don's bedroom and saw his door click closed. He adjusted his blinds so that no one could look in through his window. From my brief experience in the lair, the only time that Don would close him self off like that was when he was angry, very busy with his inventions, or terribly hurt.

I had a sinking feeling he wasn't angrily inventing something.

******

"Don, for cry'n out loud, open the door." I said instantly. Silence. "Don, I know you're in there; com'on. We need to talk about this."

I was an hour into trying to get Don to open his door. I would have just walked in except he had locked it. That was the worse sign of all. Locking the door meant he had no intention of coming out; not for a long while.

"Is there a problem?" I heard someone ask. It was Splinter.

I had completely forgotten that he had been asleep. His room was at the opposite end from where Don's was. I wasn't trying to be loud, but in that subway station there was a considerable echo if you were just loud enough.

I guess I had been.

"Well, it's kind of hard to explain …." I tried to say.

But then I heard Don speak from his enclosed bedroom, "There's nothing wrong, Sensei. I just want to sleep." There was a particular sadness to his voice.

Now, instead of wanting to explain my position, I just wanted to console him. But that would only encourage things to be worse. It was starting to become obvious that I had created quite a situation for myself.

Splinter picked up on the distress in Don's voice and the frustrated look on my face. He motioned for me to come into his room.

After telling my furry friend what Don had done, the rat shook his head. Splinter quietly told me, "I saw it coming and did nothing to stop it. Even my other sons noticed how he would look at you. Donatello was asking for you a lot during his convalescence. He was quite concerned. I am so very sorry, Mindy."

"Ah, it's more my fault 'cause I should have known better. I really didn't think he or any of the others would have any interest in me. I mean, for Pete's sake, I'm twice their age and I'm human." I told him.

Splinter looked long and hard at me. I was starting to get a little uncomfortable, but then he made a comment that should have been perfectly obvious to me.

"Mindy, when was the last time you saw anyone like us before? Who would my sons be attracted to?" The rat's whiskers were twitching as if he were just a little irritated.

I wanted to slap my forehead again, but didn't. Instead I nodded, saying, "You're right. I'm such an idiot not to realize that. Now what do I do?"

I was frustrated. It was late – nearly one in the morning – and I was tired. I was thinking of just going to bed and letting Don stew by himself.

However, the next thing that Splinter said, or rather asked, surprised me, "Mindy, may I ask how you feel about Donatello?"

Huh? How do I feel about Don?

"I – I – ah – think he's a very kind hearted soul. He's one of the few nice people in my life, in fact. Well, I include everyone in this lair under that category, of course." I smiled weakly.

"Hmmm… Is it not possible that you might have felt a little more for Donatello than you did the others? After all, he did take care of you when you first arrived." Splinter had his hands in his lap, interlacing his fingers as he sat there and observed me.

Whoa boy, what was he alluding to?

"I see where you're going with this, but it's perfectly natural to show a little more affection to the one who takes care of you. But, in no way did I have any romantic feelings for him. Don's sweet and all, but – well – I'm twice his age, Splinter." I assured him.

The rat smiled and commented, "And very intelligent, too, I might add. One thing that I notice when viewing your television programs, the young girls close to my sons' age are – well – young." He paused for a moment as if he had heard something, but then continued, "Maybe my other sons would find them attractive enough to want a friendship with them. But Donatello needs someone close to his own intellect. You are as close as any he has had the pleasure of keeping company with."

"But it wouldn't work, even if my heart was there. Splinter, I need to get back to my life. I just realized that earlier when I caught the tail end of a news report on Gracie' store burning down. I need to get in touch with Bill. I can't stay here anymore." I felt a lump rise in my throat as I said those words.

I knew I would miss my friends and I was afraid for them. It would be dangerous for me to continue living down here while working topside. I had to choose carefully where I was going to lay my head if I returned to earning a paycheck. If I worked topside, that's where I'd have to live. I couldn't be caught going into a man-hole on a regular basis and then risk being observed by their enemy.

Maybe my job at the diner was no longer viable, but over the few weeks I had lived here, my love of teaching had been rekindled. Reading my history books and browsing through my teachers manuals, I realized how much I missed it. Maybe my friendship with Don and his brothers had something to do with it, but I felt I could finally let go of my grief. Crying that entire week after Gracie's death had been quite therapeutic, albeit draining. My friends' caring embraces were certainly helpful.

"You have to do what your heart tells you, my child. But do not turn a deaf ear to what is obvious." My friend said quietly.

I nodded and was about ready to leave his bedroom. But what Splinter had just said caused me to ask him, "Do you think that I have feelings for Don?"

It wasn't that I doubted my own interpretation on this matter, but I wanted to know if I had projected the wrong incentives. It was important for me to know this. If I was indeed going to return to teaching, I had to get a handle on how I responded to certain situations.

I held my breath as Splinter took one of his own. Then, my heart sank as he told me.

With a slight smile and his eyebrows raised, the old rat simply replied, "Yes, I do."

Ah, nuts; I had a feeling he'd say that!