ONCE AGAIN:
Disclaimer: I DON'T own any of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Special thanks to Joss!!!
This story contains Mature Content and Themes, and Language, which is why it's rated R. If this kind of material offends you, then don't read it.
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Spike ended up on the street walking. Walking and hating Angel, absolutely hating him. Of course it was jealously and it pissed Spike off even more that Angel knew he was jealous. He had loved Buffy Ann Summers for years. They had one hell of a love/hate background. Even their sex life had been love/hate. Spike started thinking about the dream he was having when Angel interrupted. It was more than a dream, that whole ordeal had really happened. He remembered it like it was yesterday, every detail was etched perfectly in Spike's mind.
There was never a doubt in Spike's mind that Buffy loved Angel but deep down he had always hoped that he could make her love him. He didn't understand Buffy's love for Angel. Seriously, Angel had even chosen to leave her behind when he moved to LA. Why did she continue to love him and how in bloody hell could he have left her. What he wouldn't give to have Buffy's love. Damn, he had already given up his freewill. He kept that fucking chip in his head for over a year, it was like a leash. Then he went and got a soul and THAT didn't even make her love him.
Spike started to think about the happiest moment in his life...
They were in the hellmouth fighting the Turok-Han, trying to spoil the First's plan. Spike was wearing the amulet, the amulet that took his life.
"Oh, bollocks.," Spike said.
A bright blue light shoots up from the amulet, knocking a hole in the ceiling, up through the floor and through to the open sky. The light turns a warm orange color.
"Buffy!," Spike screams.
"Spike!," Buffy calls back.
Before Buffy can go to his side, the amulet refracts the orange light out into the hellmouth like rays of sunshine– but with concentrated intensity like a laser. Buffy stares at Spike. As the amulet works it's magic, the Turok-Han are dusting throughout the hellmouth. The ground starts shaking. Everybody rushes to the stairs that lead up to the seal. Buffy runs to Spike's side.
"I can feel it, Buffy.," Spike says amazed.
"What?," Buffy asks.
Spike looks at her. "My soul. It's really there. Kind of stings.," he says.
The hellmouth is empty except for Spike, Buffy and the glowing orange light.
"Go on, then.," Spike tells her.
"No. No, you've done enough. You could still–." Buffy replies.
Spike interrupts, "No, you've beat them back. It's for me to do the cleanup."
The walls are crumbling around them.
Someone calls from up the stairs, "Buffy, come on!"
"Gotta move, lamb.," Spike says. "I think it's fair to say school's out for bloody summer."
Worried Buffy says, "Spike!"
"I mean it!," Spike says as he holds out his hand to stop her. "I gotta do this."
Buffy laces her fingers through Spike's, and their hands burst into flame together.
She looks softly into his eyes as she says, "I love you."
"No you don't.," Spike replied. "But thanks for saying it."
Buffy had actually told him that she loved him. He had knew then that it wasn't....
Spike's thoughts were interrupted when he bumped into someone. His eyes moved upward only to realized that he was standing face to face with Buffy. He hadn't seen Buffy since that strange amulet brought him back. As a matter of fact Spike had been avoiding her.
"Hello, pet.," Spike said.
"Uh, hello Spike.," Buffy replied. "Angel told me you were back. I almost didn't believe him."
"Yeah, been back for months now.," he said with a smile.
Spike stared to feel uneasy. He had done things with this woman that would make a porn star blush and now he was too nervous to carry on a normal conversation with her. He HAD to get it together.
"Spike, I'm sorry about the whole Angel thing.," Buffy began.
"No need to be luv.," he interrupted. "I was gone for quite a while. I understand how it must be for you, being with out your slayer duties and all."
"Yes, it is quite a treat not be the 'chosen one' any more.," she said motioning with her hands. "I actually have time to worry about a normal life. Dawny and I are happier than ever."
Buffy looks at her watch nervously.
"I'm sorry to do this, but I... I really have to go.," she said. "Angel is expecting me, we kinda had a... had a thing planned."
"No problem, pe...," Spike paused. "No problem.," he said. "I'll see you around."
As Buffy walked off, Spike finally had a chance to notice his surroundings. He was about two blocks away from the local bar. He decided that now would be a perfect time to drown his sorrows.
Spike entered the bar on guard. There was always one bloke or another that thought they could take him. Spike never minded showing some 2 day old vampire that he hadn't gone soft even though he had a soul.
He slow scanned the dimly lit room, noticing demons and creatures unnameable. He walked past all of them and settled himself at an empty table in the back of the pub. Spike didn't care for any companions tonight, he just wanted to drink.
A waitress noticed him and came over to take his order.
"What'll it be?," she asked.
Spike knew right off that she wasn't human. He couldn't tell what she was but there wasn't a single scent of human blood on her.
"Please tell me you have something other than yak piss back there.," he said motioning his hand toward the bar.
"We have only one brand of beer," she replied, "I'll bring you that."
Spike nodded and the waitress walked off.
The waitress came back with some off brand of beer and set it on the table.
Spike opened the top and turned it up to his head. He was already lost in his thoughts before the waitress left the table.
Memories flashed through Spikes mind faster and faster.
Buffy and himself fighting in the old Sunnydale High... Spike and Buffy kissing... Buffy and Angel fighting, Acathla's vortex opening behind them... Spike and Buffy kissing... Buffy trading blows with Faith... Spike and Buffy kissing... Buffy falling from the scaffold to her death... Spike and Buffy kissing... Buffy sanding at the bottom of stairs after being resurrected... Spike and Buffy kissing... Spike and Buffy kissing... Spike and Buffy kissing... Spike and Buffy kissing... Spike looked down to find several empty beer bottles on the table in front of him. He noticed that the bar was almost empty. He had been sitting here for several hours thinking of nothing but Buffy.
The bartender called out, "Hey, you.,"
Spike wasn't sure how long the man had been calling him.
Pissed the bartender raised his voice, "Hey, man!,"
"Yeah.," Spike said looking up and acknowledging the bartender.
"You gotta go," said the man his voice calming, "daylight isn't far off you need to get some where safe."
Immediately, Spike came to his scenes, deposited a twenty dollar bill on the table and stood to leave.
After departing, Spike noticed that the bartender had been right. The sky was already turning pink with the morning sun. He picked up his pace and headed home.
Deciding that he wasn't ready to face Angel he turned into a near by cemetery and entered a secluded crypt pulling a large slab behind him. This wouldn't be his first time sleeping in a tomb but he hadn't had to do it in a long while. Spike laid on the floor with his legs crossed and hands behind his head, hoping that a peaceful sleep would find him.
The next night Spike returned home, only to find Angel's bedroom door closed. Angel's door being closed meant one of two things. Either Angel hadn't awoke yet, which was highly unlikely because he always woke up before Spike, or he had a visitor, Buffy. Assuming it was the second of the two Spike headed to his own room. He didn't want to think of the things Buffy and Angel could do behind closed doors that wouldn't affect Angel's soul in the slightest.
Intending on getting a change of clothes Spike walked through the door of his room. Noticing how inviting his bed appeared he decided that he could lay down for a while, he didn't have anything important to do. Spending the night sleeping on the floor of a crypt had given him one hell of a back ache.
Spike thought about how wonderful it would be to have Buffy in his bed again. A small smile crossed his face before he drifted off to sleep.
