The Brush Off Grown Up Style

Part II

~Plane~

Elizabeth kept her eyes closed while the plane took off. She wasn't afraid of flying, she just wasn't crazy about the takeoff, the turbulence, or the landing parts of flying. Other than that she had no problem at all.

She felt the plane level off and shifted her attention to the window. They were above the clouds now, the earth, only visible through patches in the clouds. It always amazed her how ordered the ground looked when she saw it from thousands of feet above. It looked like those images of maps on a cartoon, each section clearly divided by a strip of road or water. It looked almost pristine from so far above, when in truth it was a jumbled mess.

She tilted her head and sighed into the window, she should be used to jumbled messes, she'd certainly had enough practice with them. But that was in the past, she resolved, taking charge of her messes, of her life was the only thing she wanted for Christmas this year. She frowned, that wasn't true. It wasn't the only thing she wanted, although it might be the only thing she'd get. She huffed out a breath and settled back in the seat. If the next part didn't go as well as the first part had, she wouldn't be destroyed. Unhappy yes, but not destroyed.

"So does that sigh mean you're ready to tell me what happened with Lucky?"

Elizabeth turned and a genuine smile crossed her features when she saw love and concern staring her in the face. "It really went well. It's strange, considering Lucky has been back for about a year and a half now, but I feel that this was the first time we really talked since his return."

Audrey Hardy tucked her needlepoint away, as grateful as she was that Elizabeth was ready to talk, she couldn't help but feel a pang at those words. If they were true it meant that Elizabeth had, had a very lonely and trying year. "Do you really feel like that?"

"I do, I guess didn't realize how little Lucky and I really talked until just a little while ago," her eyes were sad at the realization. "Part of it has to be blamed on the brainwashing that's true enough, but part of it has to do with us changing. I am glad that Nikolas was right about how well his therapy is going. I could see glimpses of the boy I first fell in love with a lifetime ago. I'm also glad that he realizes that we have changed and wasn't expecting us to go back to the way things used to be. He'd decided it was best to break up as well. He realized that we've both changed and need to move forward separately, this time."

"That's a big step for him."

"I know," she wrinkled her nose and her laugh was only slightly bitter. "Lord knows it took me long enough and I didn't even have the brainwashing excuse to fall back on."

"You keep saying that like you expect me to condemn you. I'm not going to blame you for your loyalty to someone you loved, or your refusal to abandon them when they needed your help," Audrey chided her granddaughter. "The only thing I wish was that you hadn't lost yourself in the process."

Elizabeth closed her eyes in reflection. She had lost herself in her desire to help Lucky, to be the person that Lucky had once loved. "I did do that didn't I?"

"You had help." Audrey tried to soften the blow. "But in the end it was definitely unhealthy, and it left you isolated from everyone but Lucky. Everyone, including me. But I have to take part of the blame for that. I didn't push like I should have."

"I doubt I would have listened if you had," Elizabeth squeezed her hand. "You came through when it meant the most though. When I needed someone so bad that I couldn't even admit it, you were there. I would have gone crazy these last few weeks if you hadn't been."

Audrey covered Elizabeth's hand with her own. "Darling nothing and no one could have kept me away from you. Especially not after you told me what you were going to do."

"I think Sonny found out the hard way, just how determined you could be. I believe his description was an iron fist inside a velvet glove?" Elizabeth arched an eyebrow at her grandmother, she still hadn't heard the whole story.

Audrey smiled at the memory, Elizabeth was right she had taken Mr. Corinthos by surprise, she had intended to.

"May I help you?"

The tall dark-haired man spoke as soon as she got off the elevator. Audrey searched her memory for his name. Elizabeth had mentioned it before, but she had been too busy lecturing to pay attention. She finally spoke when he raised an eyebrow in her direction. "My name is Audrey Hardy, I would like to see Mr. Corinthos."

He nodded and knocked on the closed penthouse door.

"What Johnny?"

The call came from inside the room, and the man she now knew was Johnny disappeared inside of it. Audrey fidgeted, straightening her coat, her necklace and was tempted to pull out her compact to check her appearance. She wisely bit down on that urge, harshly reminding herself she wasn't here to impress but to get her way.

"You may go in," Johnny opened the door and held it for her.

"Thank you." Audrey entered the room and couldn't help but make a close study of the penthouse. She hadn't been here in close to 9 years. It certainly looked different than it had when the Donley's had lived here. Of course she knew that it had recently been redone because of an explosion. Her eyes came to rest on the other person in the room and she realized that the room had changed more than just cosmetically, and the changes had come from the man in front of her. "Thank you for seeing me Mr. Corinthos."

"Please call me Sonny," he shot her a smile, showcasing his trademark dimples and gestured to the wet bar. "May I offer you a drink?"

"No thank you Mr. Corinthos." Her hand tightened on her purse strap. "I'll come right to the point I would like you to send me to my granddaughter."

Sonny moved past her and poured himself a drink. "I wasn't aware that Elizabeth was out of town."

"Mr. Corinthos I do not have the time nor the energy to play this game with you." She sharpened her tone causing him to focus on her. "3 days ago Elizabeth came to me and told me that Nikolas was going to poison her that night. That she was going to pretend to die in order to gain information to help Lucky, and also to protect herself from Helena."

Sonny sipped his drink and frowned. "That's an interesting story."

Audrey glared at him and forced herself to continue. "I know she came to you for help in getting out of the country safely. With Jason Morgan out of town, and Luke Spencer missing, you are the only person with the resources who could help her and Nikolas pull this idiocy off."

"Poisons can be very deadly, you shouldn't play around with them. I doubt she would. Perhaps she just went out of town."

Her temper was something that she had always fought to control. Steve had once compared it to a volcano exploding, the damage was far flung and widely felt when it finally did go off. She was striving to hold onto it now. She knew he was only following her granddaughter's wishes, and she should be grateful that he was so determined to protect her. But he really was treading on her last nerve. She counted to 5 in her head and then gamely tried again.

"I am very aware of how deadly poisons can be, and how dangerous drugs, giving the illusion of death are as well. Do you really think I would let Elizabeth take a drug like that, without knowing everything there is to know about it?" She moved closer when he didn't reply. "It's true that Elizabeth only told me 4 hours before her meeting, and I spent the first half hour of those hours trying to convince her not to do this. When that failed I then spent the next three hours, researching every known risk and possible side effect to the drug she was going to take. I then spent time threatening Bobbie and Laura about what would happen if my granddaughter were injured in her attempt to help Lucky. Please don't insult me any further by playing this little game. You know where she is, you don't have to tell me where, you just have to arrange for me to join her."

"Mrs. Hardy…"

Audrey ignored him and continued on. "I've already made arrangements with work and have given them the plausible excuse of wanting to see my son, so there will be no questions, no one looking for me."

"Mrs. Hardy," he tried again.

"They don't even know that she's gone." Audrey's temper finally snapped. "It's been three days and no one has even noticed that she's gone. Bobbie and Nikolas knew of course, but Tammy didn't, Ned didn't, her co-workers didn't, her friends she once had in school didn't. She's dropped off the face of the earth and no one has even noticed." Her voice rose and the pain that she was feeling was evident. "No one cared."

Sonny sighed and set the glass on the tray. "I'm sure that's not true."

"It is. And do you want to hear the truly awful part?" Her voice dropped to a whisper. "If Elizabeth hadn't told me what she was doing, I would have been have been one of those people. I wouldn't have noticed that she was gone. That's how isolated she has become. Mr. Corinthos please, she doesn't deserve to be alone anymore."

Sonny was quiet for a minute while he studied her face, and Audrey met his gaze without flinching.

"She's fine, there were no side effects from the drug, I had her checked immediately and she was monitored the whole trip." Sonny admitted. "No one but Helena or Nikolas knows that she's supposed to be dead. No one is supposed to miss her, if they do, they need to think that she's just out of town."

"But they're not even asking," Audrey hissed. "I'm her family, she once said I was the only one in her family that ever gave a damn for her." She fought the urge to try to shake the truth out of him, she had a feeling that wouldn't go over very well. "I need to be with her."

Sonny shifted his attention to the brown liquid in his glass, and she waited for a few minutes while he considered her request. When he focused on her, she could see the refusal in his eyes. Before he had the opportunity to speak she turned and opened the door.

Johnny snapped to attention and focused on her immediately.

"Hello Mr.…" She left the question in the air.

"O'Brien ma'am. Johnny O'Brien."

"It's nice to meet you Mr. O'Brien." Audrey held out a hand. "I have a feeling we will be seeing a lot more of each other. To prepare I wanted to ask you a question." She held onto his hand when he went to let go and waited until he focused on her eyes again. "How do you feel about manhandling old women?"

"Man…" he trailed off and looked past her to his boss. Sonny rubbed a hand over his eyes and shook his head.

"Yes manhandling." Audrey dropped his hand. "It seems I have no recourse but to stalk Mr. Corinthos, and since your job will no doubt be to remove me, forcibly," she paused to let that sink in, "several times a day, I wondered how you felt about it."

Sonny groaned loudly behind her and Johnny's eyes widened. Audrey ignored the distress of both men and continued on.

"I won't have a weapon and I won't fight you so there won't be any need to use violence," she arched a brow in question. "Unless you like to hit old women?"

"I don't hit old…" Johnny stopped when Sonny groaned again. "I mean I don't hit women at all unless there is no other choice."

"Well that is a relief. I have no desire to be injured." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "So do you think I should use the element of surprise? I realize you won't give me his schedule. I've never actually stalked anyone before so this will be a new experience fo…"

"Enough." Sonny crossed to the door and she turned to face him. "You win. I'll make the arrangements, be ready to leave in an hour."

"Thank you Mr. Corinthos," she inclined her head at Johnny. "Mr. O'Brien." She moved to the elevator, determined not to sag in relief until she was safely in her car. Her gamble had paid off. She turned in surprise when she heard her name.

"Yes Mr. O'Brien?" Audrey moved on the elevator but held the door open button on the control pad.

"I just want to clarify something," Johnny began. "You shouldn't call yourself an old woman. I've seen you in the chorus line at the Nurse's Ball for years now, anyone with legs like that isn't old."

Startled she dropped her hand, thankfully the door closed before she had to think up a reply. She sagged back against the wall, both in relief, and in surprise.

"Gram?" Elizabeth tried again. Whenever she'd questioned Audrey on how she got Sonny to send her to her, her gram had gotten a strange look on her face and wouldn't give any details.

"Yes?" Audrey blinked the memory away.

"I said I was glad that you showed up. It was nice having someone to talk too if I wanted. Someone who didn't offer opinions or condemn me for my choice, but just listened." A part of her found it hard to believe that her Gram had been willing to give her the space she needed.

"I would do anything for you." Audrey shifted slightly then decided to broach the subject again. "Are you sure about going to Canada?"

"Since the plane has been in the air for about an hour now, it's a little late to change my mind." Elizabeth tried for flippant.

"Elizabeth."

Obviously she had failed. "So much for not condemning my choices," she grumbled. "I'm going to Canada because I need to see him. I thought you understood that. And if you didn't understand, you at least respected my decision."

"I do." Audrey cried. "But I won't lie to you Elizabeth, I am worried."

It was hard to stay angry with someone when all you could see in their face was concern born out of love. "I know you are gram," she patted her hand. "I guess I'm still a little sensitive when it comes to someone questioning my decisions. I've had enough second guessing to last me a lifetime."

"I'm not trying to make you doubt your choices. I'm just worried. You've only just ended a relationship, you shouldn't rush into another one. I know you're and Lucky's relationship wasn't healthy and was over a long time ago, but that is all the more reason for you to take your time and discover who you are before beginning another relationship."

"Gram I'm not going to see Jason so I can start a relationship with him. You're right I'm nowhere near ready to jump back into a relationship."

Relieved Audrey let out a breath. "I just thought that," she trailed off. "You were so firm in seeing him that I thought you might think you were in lo.." she trailed off again, no use in giving her any ideas.

"Gram I will readily admit to being confused about a lot of things in my life, but there is one thing that I am positive of. And that is that I'm not in love with anyone, including Jason." Elizabeth shifted as far as the safety belt would allow her so she was sideways in the roomy first class seat. "But I do love him and want him back in my life."

She could see the confusion on Audrey's face and hurried on. "Jason, next to Lucky of a few years ago, is the best friend I've ever had. I want that friendship back. In fact next to me getting my life in order, it is the most important thing to me."

"I know you and Lucky were friends long before anything romantic ever happened." Audrey looked away as old guilt welled up in her again. "He was there for you after you were attacked in a way I couldn't be, no in a way I wouldn't let myself be."

She still couldn't say the word rape, Elizabeth noticed that but let it go. "Yes he was. It wasn't entirely your fault Gram. You tried to help in your own way. It was just my being raped brought up memories that you didn't want to face. In the end you did though, and until then and even with that, I had Lucky. He was like a lifeline for me, while I found the strength to heal myself and move on."

"You have always been strong Elizabeth. Much stronger than I am."

"I don't believe that. You're strong too, we just face things differently. Remember what we learned in therapy? If it works for one person, it doesn't mean it will work for another person. You did what you did in order to live with things and so did I."

"And your way was facing your attacker and then putting him in the past, while you moved on into a life with Lucky." Audrey wished she had dealt with her demons in that way, but unfortunately sometimes they still haunted her.

"Yes," Elizabeth bit her lip and thought back to that year with Lucky, it had been the best of her life.

~*~

"I have to admire your restraint in not saying I told you so."

Audrey set her drink down and looked out Elizabeth. "About what?" Elizabeth had been so quiet she had thought she'd fallen asleep.

"You once warned me about building a life around someone, instead of for myself. You were right, but I didn't listen to you. I built my life around Lucky, and when he was gone, I was destroyed for such a long time." Sighing she went on. "Then one night, one awful night, an unlikely friendship happened. It's strange that at the darkest times in my life I've managed to make a friend who helped me find my way out of it."

"I take it Jason was the friend who helped you when no one else could?"

"Yes he helped me in so many ways, without even trying too. I was able to do, feel, act the way I wanted too, instead of how I was supposed too. He never told me what to do, or how I should be feeling, he was just my friend." Her eyes were soft in the memory. "And in the end I'm the one who failed him."

"Because of Lucky?" Audrey couldn't believe how blind she had been to Lucky's manipulations and to her granddaughter's pain. She had been so relieved when Lucky had returned. First, because, she had grown fond of him, and was grateful that he was alive. She was also glad because, she had watched Elizabeth mourn for him for months. But another part of her was relieved because she thought it would mean the end of Elizabeth's association with Jason and Mr. Corinthos.

She had turned a blind eye to Elizabeth's unhappiness until it was almost too late. It was only in the last few weeks that she had learned how fully Lucky had consumed her life. He had become the only person in her life, and that wasn't healthy.

"I can't blame Lucky for everything," Elizabeth admitted softly. "What I said earlier was true. Today was the first time we really talked. When he first came back he was angry all the time. I learned quickly not to mention the past or what I was feeling or he would walk away. It was hard but I trained myself to do it, to only discuss certain things with him, safe topics. Later when we found out about the brainwashing I kept doing that, because I didn't want to put any more pressure on him."

It was hard realizing how long she had been lying to herself, even harder to admit that to another person. "By the time we finally got back together, I had gotten used to not telling him things. If I was unhappy or unsure, and he didn't notice it, I never brought it up. Any relationship is bound to fail when one person keeps the truth from the other."

She took a long drink from her water while she considered how to explain the next part. "I didn't realize that was what I was doing until Jason came back. He knew me so well, he could see I wasn't happy, only pretending to be. He knew it before I did." She had discovered that it was hard to sit still while baring her soul, so she shifted again. "Unfortunately, when I finally started realizing that, I didn't want to believe it and that was what led me to make things awful for all three of us. It led me to ruin my friendship with Jason, my trust with Lucky, and my respect for myself. And I can't blame Lucky for that."

"It was a hard time for you Elizabeth. You shouldn't take it all on yourself."

"I didn't make things better. I need to be honest here. Jason was my friend, a man who never lied to me, who always listened to me, who never hurt me, or told me what to do. He was my friend even when I hurt him. The pain I must have caused him, can't be undone. But I hope he'll let me try to prove to him that I can be the friend that he deserves. A friend like I once was to him." And if that was possible, maybe one day she could be more than a friend as well, she sighed at that hopeful thought and studied the dark sky visible from the window again.

Audrey considered what Elizabeth had said about Jason, and what she had told her about him during these weeks. A part of her was terrified that Elizabeth's continued association with Jason would get her hurt. Although they had never discussed it, she was aware of the bomb that had been placed in Elizabeth's studio. A bomb that was there because of Jason Morgan, that knowledge alone should be enough to make her counsel against the renewal of their friendship.

But studying her granddaughters sad but determined face, she couldn't quite bring herself to go into the old warnings of how he was dangerous. Not that Elizabeth would listen anyway, but she didn't really feel like trying. The fact that Lucky, someone she had ultimately approved of, had very nearly sucked the life out of her granddaughter, and in fact the only way Elizabeth had found the strength to free herself was by dying, made her question her judgment.

How could she tell Elizabeth to stay away from Jason when she was finally learning to stand on her feet again? She said she wasn't trying to find him to begin a romance, and Audrey believed her. Elizabeth had also said that the relationship was a priority for her though. She had only recently learned of how good of a friend Jason had been to Elizabeth, and that had been good to hear, but there was one thing that still concerned her.

"Elizabeth," she waited until she had her attention. "You told me that Jason wanted more than just a friendship from you."

Elizabeth colored slightly and nodded her head. She really couldn't believe that she had told her grandmother that, it must have been all the margaritas she had drank on her birthday.

"What if he still wants that?"

"He won't." Elizabeth was a little sad as she explained. "I saw his eyes when I turned him down Gram, I hurt him. I hurt him worse in that instant, then I had in all the weeks leading up to that night in the park. Jason won't let himself be hurt like that again. It's funny but that night was the only time in our whole relationship that I felt pressure from him. When he asked me to go with him, it was like an ultimatum. Jason represented the unknown, and Lucky was known. He scared me, the thought of leaving everything behind and just going with him, scared me, so I clung to what I knew. I didn't handle it very well, of course I didn't handle anything very well during that time. I need to rebuild my trust with him, rebuild my friendship with him. That's all I'm hoping to get out of this trip, a start at rebuilding our friendship. Well besides seeing Emily again, that is."

"Ladies and gentlemen we are beginning our descent into the Ontario airport. Please return your seat backs and trays to the upright and locked position."

"Well you will soon have your chance." Audrey commented.

"A chance," Elizabeth whispered and looked at the lights on the ground that were moving closer to them. "A chance is all I want."