How many ninja turtles does it take to change a light bulb?
None – they work in darkness; they don't need light.
…………………………………………………………………
"Good grief, Don – how long does it take for your brothers to calm down?" I asked completely exasperated.
I had never seen them fight like this. Argue? Yes. However to get 'down and dirty' like the way I saw them was impressive and intimidating all at the same time. The banging and crashing from the other room had abated, somewhat. But it was obvious by the sound of their scuffling and grunting that the fight was still continuing.
The fight had been going on for a good thirty minutes. The more they fought the angrier they became. I heard Splinter on more than one occasion try to quell the disturbance, but to no avail. It was as if this was the granddaddy of all battles and the winner would win it all, while the loser would lose all.
As far as I was concerned, they were both losing a great deal – of respect; especially from me.
"Can't they talk without yelling and exchanging fists?" I complained.
"Well, they've tried; but both of them have tempers and both are quite stubborn about it." Don replied casually.
"So, what – do you and Mike just let them go at it until they quit on their own?" I asked.
All he did was shrug.
Don and I were still sitting on my bed, listening to the on-going fight between Raphael and Leonardo. I felt bad that the focus of their disagreement was because of what I had said the night before to Don.
"Why'd you go and tell them, anyway?" I asked Don.
"Are you blaming me for what's going on out there?" Don inquired indignantly as he looked over at me.
I could tell he didn't like that insinuation; not one bit in fact.
"Well, no…but…oh, I don't know. Maybe you or Mike ought to…" I suggested, but Don was way ahead of me, as always.
"Nope, not gonna. Been there and done that and I don't have any interest in repeating any of it." He said.
"That bad?" I asked him.
"When they're like this? Yep, it's that bad." He nodded.
Don draped his arm across my shoulders and hugged me. He allowed his head to lean against mine and I could feel him sigh in frustration. I rather enjoyed his embrace and allowed myself to be cuddled just a little bit. Knowing that if they did end up leaving New York and that I would probably never see Donny again tore at my very soul. But I was determined that regardless of how I felt about him, their freedom was more important than Don's and my relationship.
"This is ridiculous, Don. Something has to give…" and that's when the lights went out.
"Well," I lamented, "I didn't necessarily mean for that to happen! What's up with the lights?" I wondered aloud.
Don swore and then mumbled, "They must have smashed the circuit breaker again. Son of …" but then he stopped the progression of words and stood up.
"Wait, you're not leaving me are you?" I asked nervously.
"Min, I have to go fix the breaker. You'll be fine. Just stay put." Don said.
"But how are you going to find your way around in the dark? I've never seen anything so – well – black like this." I whined.
"Min, I'm ninja – remember? We don't need the light to get around." I could almost see a smirk on Don's face when he said that, too.
"Oh, well, then – by all means… just leave me here!" I complained.
"I could send Mikey in if you need the company." Don offered gleefully.
Yep, I was sure he had a smile on that green face of his.
"In that case, I'll be just fine, Mr. Fix-it!" I shot back sarcastically.
"Hmm…really? Maybe …" he started to say and then I felt him kissing me firmly on the lips. It was so dark and Don was so quick that I hadn't a clue he was going to do that. I was startled. Suddenly I fell backwards on the bed and, unfortunately because I had grabbed him out of reflex, Don lost his balance and came with me.
Good grief he was heavy. "Get off!" I exclaimed. "I thought ninja's never lost their balance!" I complained.
He did not roll off of me.
"It was dark and I didn't expect you to do that!" Don chuckled.
I could hear Mike laughing in the other room so I figured he had overheard me. Obviously, he had his mind in the gutter once again. Of course if he could see where Don was in proximity to me, he'd have a right to think that way.
Whispering, I seethed, "GET OFF!"
"Why?" Don asked playfully. I could tell that Don had placed both his hands on each side of me, resting them on the bed to help to support his weight. I could feel his breath just above my face as his was right above mine.
"Because if any of your brothers come in here right now and see us…" I complained.
"But it's dark, Min." he teased.
"Yeah? And you're all ninja so what does it matter, eh?" I was not very happy about Don being on top of me. "So, please remove yourself!" I ordered quietly.
Don laughed a little. He kissed me once more and allowed himself to linger just a while in it. I couldn't pull away because my head was flat against the bed. But I did manage to muffle "Get off, now!" as best I could with his lips pressed to mine. By the time he pulled away from me I was breathless and really wanting him out of my room. I didn't trust myself in that moment. I felt my face flush and I knew then that I was blushing.
Finally Don did as I had requested. I sat up and could sense that he was sitting up on the bed, too.
"Hmm…nice!" he commented to me suggestively.
I was not amused, "Well, aren't you going to get the lights back on, Mr. Wizard?" I teased.
I didn't want him to tarry there too long considering what had just happened between us. Yes, I liked Don very much and I think I may have even loved him. But I had some very strict rules regarding intimacy and Don was not going to be the exception. Considering I had allowed him to lie beside me for a while the night before was probably not the wisest thing I had let happen. I couldn't take a chance of repeating that for fear of his or my losing control – which I think we almost did a moment ago.
Besides, what good would it do us considering his 'more than likely' impending move out of town? All we could possibly gain was frustration and unrequited love. It would make it even harder for the both of us when the time came for him and his family to leave.
Chuckling at my 'orders,' Don replied rather formally, "Right way, Sir!" and then he was gone.
Actually, as I sat there in the dark and waited for Don to fix the light problem, I noticed that things had calmed down considerably in the other room.
"Hmm…it seemed rather strange for the lights to go out when they did; unless Don was correct that Leo and Raph had somehow knocked the power out with their roughhousing?" I thought to myself
A few minutes later the lights came back on, stinging my eyes just a little from the shock of it. But, I welcomed it gladly. I really didn't like the dark that much, especially pitch black stuff. Maybe it was a childhood fear that I never quite overcame or maybe it was just a general fear that most people have. We're drawn to the light by nature, it seems, and it was also true that those who brighten our lives are like a magnet to our soul. I was finding that Don was like a light for mine!
Curious and needing to stretch my legs, I stood up and made my way slowly out to the living area. As soon as I rounded the corner I was stunned. The couch was toppled over while the coffee table – what was left of it – was broken into several pieces. The television was on its side on the floor, but thankfully it was still intact. The fight had even made its way into the kitchen. I could see the stove had been shoved to one side with the oven handle broken and bent.
"How'd they do that, for Pete's sake?" I grumbled to myself.
Several lamps were down and obviously never going to be used again and I could tell that Leo's cubicle had been smashed into. The door was now slightly bent and I don't think it would ever slide right again.
The available light was coming from above where Donatello had hung ceiling lamps. Some of the illumination also came from the subway station lights, as well. More than likely, though, the turtles used the smaller floor lamps to keep the use of available electricity down to a minimum – and to be less conspicuous as a result.
As I walked further into the room, I saw that Mikey was righting Splinter's chair, which –amazingly – survived rather well, all things considered.
"Where are they?" I asked him.
"In with Splinter." He said ruefully. Mikey looked as if he was pretty fed up with his two older brothers.
"And Don?" I queried.
"Splinter's room!" He replied. Mike looked up at me and the expression he gave me was not the a-typical look I was used to getting from him. He seemed – upset – and it wasn't just because of the fight.
"Mike, you want to talk about it?" I asked him. Maybe he kept a lot of his more negative feelings inside and joked around as his way of venting. I believed right then and there that he had run out of jokes.
"No." was all he said. Mike righted the couch next, but found that the back of it had broken.
Great, just about every piece of furniture they had was trashed; all because two of them couldn't agree to disagree. I also felt somewhat responsible for the ruckus.
"If I'd known this would have happened I wouldn't have said anything to Don about my idea!" I mumbled sadly.
"Min, don't worry about it, okay? It's not the first time they've fought this hard." Mike assured me. "Quite honestly?" he lowered his voice as he came over to me, "Raph and Leo are too much alike. Both are stubborn, both see their way as the only way, both want to lead. But, Leo's the only one with the kind of self control to lead without letting his emotions get in the way."
I was nearly floored with Mike's astute observation. Of course, he'd known his brothers for all of his life, so it stands to reason he would understand them this well. "You amaze me, Mike!" I laughed.
"What? That I know my bros that well? Heck, it keeps my shell on my back – and I had to learn the hard way how to do that, too!" Mike chuckled. "Don and I tried in the past to break up these fights, but we always ended up worse off for it. Turning the lights out seems to be the only way to get them to stop!"
"You did that?" I asked in amazement.
"Yep! Sure did. Like throwing water on a fire." Mike grinned.
"But, I thought ninja can see in the dark!" I asked.
"Well, yeah, we can – but we really hate to fight when it's that dark!" he laughed.
I could only shake my head at Mike's reply. Despite his jovial and lighthearted hi-jinks, the youngest in the clan pretty much had his two oldest siblings pegged.
After helping Mike clean up the living area and the kitchen, I saw the door to Splinter's car finally open. Leo exited first. He had several bruises along his face and jaw-line plus a few scrapes on his arms and legs. He looked at me and scowled. I cringed inside, but offered a mouthed 'sorry'. He ignored it and went across the tracks to the 'dojo'. It was a given that whenever he had been chastised by Splinter, which was rarely, that he had a set of katas to perform along with any other extras the revered rat thought necessary as far as punishment went.
Considering what Leo and Raph did to the lair, Splinter was justified in meting out some form of discipline.
Raph came out next and I'd have to say, he looked worse than Leo did. The expression he gave me was kinder, though; albeit even that was a stretch. Raph was not one to give a kind look to anyone but compared to the severity of what Leo just gave me, I'd take Raph's any day! He made his way to the dojo, as well, beginning his set of katas with back-flips.
It always amazed me that these turtles, with stiff shells on their backs, could do such acrobatics like that. It only proved how keen their training and physical condition was.
As I looked back towards Splinter's car I could see Don still inside. Then the next thing I heard was Splinter asking for me to join him. My heart did flip flops since I remembered what Don said about the possibility of my getting banished. Where would I go if they kicked me out? I thought of going to Bill's diner and maybe begging for room on his and his wife's living room couch; at least until I was situated elsewhere. But even that didn't seem safe enough; not after living for the past several weeks tuck tight in the lair.
Nervously sitting down on a bench that ran under one of the windows, I sat across from Don. Splinter was up on his bed, cross-legged with a serene if not stern look to his face. I noticed that Don had a somewhat equally serious expression, too.
I wondered about then if maybe I was in trouble and facing banishment.
"I must apologize for the way my sons have behaved this morning." The rat began, "But both Raphael and Leonardo have very strong wills and, in this case, opinions regarding your idea, Mindy Johnson. "
I smiled sheepishly since I was still feeling rather guilty for being the catalyst for the recent fight. I felt an apology was in order, so, "I'm truly sorry for causing all of this, Splinter. If I had only known…"
But he cut me off gently with a raised hand, "No, do not apologize! It is not important what is said, but how one reacts to what is said. How my sons behaved was of their own making. You were just worried for their safety as well as my own." Splinter exclaimed, "I appreciate your concern and Leo should have, too. I understand his fears, but – possibly – he needs to take into consideration what you are offering."
"You – you think leaving is a good idea, then?" I asked in surprise. I was relieved, too. Maybe I was overreacting about the fear of being asked to leave? I relaxed a little.
"Yes, I do. I have to agree with Leo that it will be riddled with uncertain dangers and trials, but to stay where we are would be more so. I do not want my sons to fight forever, Mindy Johnson." Splinter said, "They have already completed whatever plans I had for them. Now is the time to find a better and more peaceful way." He paused for a moment and then completely changed the direction of the conversation.
"Now, please tell me how you feel about Donatello?"
Whoa, wait a minute. What exactly did Don tell Splinter and how does this relate to what were talking about before?
"Ah, why, if I may ask?" I inquired hesitantly.
"You may ask, of course." Splinter replied, "Donatello has shared with me how he feels about you and, if his assessment is correct, that you feel for him in the same way."
I gulped. "Ah, no, please don't try to talk me into going with you!" I worried to myself.
"Well, ah, I didn't necessarily want this to be common knowledge. After all, it is between Don and me, right?" I stated.
"When it concerns any of us it is between all of us." Splinter explained. "What affects one affects the rest, as you saw just a while ago." He said.
"You mean that entire episode out there was because of Don and me? Th – that's ridiculous." I stammered.
"Hmm…maybe so but in part it is because of how Don feels about you that Leonardo doesn't want to move." Splinter had a glint in his eyes that suggested amusement.
"Leo wants to stay because of how Don feels about me? Well, if that doesn't beat all." I smiled. "Why did he glare at me, then?"
"He is also upset that you would interfere like you have with the idea of moving so far away." Splinter was a little more serious this time.
"But, you just said that I was right about all of you moving out of New York." I was confused.
"Yes this is true. However I am only stating what Leonardo's position is. He has never considered any other place than New York as his home. It is all that he knows. Leonardo does not like surprises and values keeping his family safe." Splinter looked at me hard and said very softly, "Moving out of state offers too many surprises – and that frightens him. Yet staying here frightens him as well! My oldest son is between – what is the expression – between a tough spot and a pebble?"
I had to laugh, I couldn't help it. The minute he spoke those words I completely lost it. I tried not to, but my response was so spontaneous that I couldn't catch it fast enough. I slapped my hand over my mouth to quell the volume, but the deed was done.
Splinter looked offended.
"I am so sorry, Splinter. I've never heard it expressed quite like that before." I guffawed.
I saw Don stiffen up just a little but I had come to know him well enough to recognize when he was trying not to be amused. I saw tears form in his eyes as he fought back the urge to laugh. He shuddered once, almost failing in his attempt to control it.
"Please, Mindy Johnson, tell me then, how should I have said it?" the rat asked in all seriousness. Of course that in and of itself was just as funny.
"Well, it's to be said, 'between a rock and a hard place'.'" I replied between small explosions of laughter.
Splinter raised his muzzle up a little as if by doing so he could comprehend what I just told him. He worked his whiskers contemplatively. I could see he was mulling over how he said it and how it was supposed to have been said.
The next thing that happened surprised me like nothing else.
Splinter busted up laughing almost as loudly as I had.
This, of course, gave Don and me permission to join him!
