Chapter Six

I don't care about these old socks I'm wearin, with holes in the toes/I don't mind these worn out coat hangers hanging up my clothes/And I don't care that the phone ain't ringing, I ain't scared to be alone/And I don't sit around and worry 'bout where time and money goes/All that matters baby is that I got you and all of this love/All that matters is I got you and that's more than enough

Sherrie Austin

When we got to the cafeteria, no one was there. Guess they were in class, or still asleep. I glanced at Quistis. "Go sit down. I'll get something for both of us."

She nodded and looked for a table.

The cafeteria lady smiled at me when I got up to the counter.

"Young love. Y'all look so cute together. I remember when my son was your age. He brought home this one girl and if she wasn't the purtyest thing I ever saw. She was so polite too. Then he went off traveling and she was heart broken. Don't you go off and break her heart, ya hear?"

I glared at her and placed my order.

She winked at me when I ordered Quistis'. "So chivalry isn't dead. When I was your age, guys did everything for their lady. You could tell if a young lady was single by if they opened their own doors or were standing in line. Times sure have changed."

I took our food and left the counter before she could say anything else. I looked around the cafeteria, trying to find Quistis. I saw her, sitting at a table in the far corner, positioned behind a leafy plant. I walked over and sat down in the seat opposite her.

"Why are you all the way over here?"

She pointed across the cafeteria to a bunch of cadets. "That's why."

I grinned at her. "What, you got a crush? Don't want them to see you with me? Trepe, I'm offended."

She looked up, alarmed. "No, it's nothing like that. It's just that if they see me, we won't get to talk."

"Oh. A fan group. The 'Trepies'?"

She giggled. "Yeah. You could call them that. It's scary, you know. Having people admire you. Having them look up to you. Record your every success. What if you fail? You let all those people down."

I looked down at my plate. "I wouldn't know."

Confused she tried to meet my eyes, "What do you mean?"

I met her gaze. "Having people look up at me. Never had to deal with it. Never wanted to. It's not failing that worries me. It's succeeding. It's having people coming to you for help."

She smiled and picked up her fork. "Don't you want to protect people you care about? Make sure they're safe?"

"No." I said softly. "I don't. People die that's how life works. Nothing lasts forever. Why try to prolonging the suffering?"

"Why try at something when you know you will fail?" Quistis asked, poking her food.

I looked into her beautiful blue eyes. "Yeah."

We both finished our food without any further talking. It was silence, but not uncomfortable. We had reached an understanding. A point of mutual agreement. I knew she was afraid of the same thing I was.

Failure.

Caroline's class continued at an extremely painful pace. She always started class by asking for a volunteer and attempted to make a fool of them, usually succeeding. On the morning after my T-rexaur fight, she asked to talk to me alone while everyone else practiced drawing their magic.

"Seifer." she said, looking at me with her different colored eyes. "You show amazing potential. I didn't think you would beat him."

One was green. The other could be blue, maybe gray. I couldn't tell.

"I would like to apologize. I shouldn't have tested your skill with such a difficult feat so early in the semester."

Not that it mattered.

"I just don't want things to go sour between us, especially over my screw up. It would make this class unbearable."

I smiled at her. "Like you say, milady. Apology accepted."

She raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"

No. I just want revenge.

"Yes. Everything's fine."

She smiled back at me, unable to read between the lines. "Good. Let's get back to class."

She placed her hand on my shoulder and gently guided me back toward the class. Good thing she wasn't an English teacher.

I walked over to Quistis, where she was practicing drawing from another student. When he saw me coming, he took off at a run, tripping over a stray twig.

She laughed and waved at me. "Hey. What was that about?"

I smiled slyly. "Oh, you know. She just wanted to confess her undying love for me."

She glared and put her hands on her hips. "No, really."

"What, you don't believe me?" I shrugged nonchalantly. "I can't help that I'm so attractive to the ladies."

She laughed and kicked some leaves away from her feet. "You're an idiot, ya know that."

Still grinning, I continued to flirt. "Why, are you jealous?"

She looked me in the eyes and met my challenge. "What if I am?"

I put my hands down, not sure of what to say.

"Hey, you two. Thank you for volunteering. Come up here, please."

Caroline called, pointing to me and Quistis.

Neither one wanting to look at the other, we walked up to the front of the class.

"Ok. We are going to have a duel. I want you to use only first level elemental spells. No earth based attacks. You may use any protective spell you think you may need except cure, shell, and reflect. Begin when ready." She backed up and took a position in the student body.

Quistis and I faced each other. Her face was flushed and I still didn't know how to deal with her confession.

"Anytime people!" Caroline called out, frustrated at our lack of action.

I searched through my magic stocks and found a fire. I grinned at Quistis as I prepared to cast it.

"Ladies first." I called out.

She grinned at me as she drew my fire spell and cast it back on me. I glared as I fell back and quickly cast thunder on her. She followed with a tripled blizzard. I glanced at Caroline and cast regen on myself.

Quistis frowned in concentration. I recognized her stance. She was calling her GF. I wasn't healing fast enough and Siren wasn't strong enough to take a full GF attack. I tried to remember what GF Quistis had, but couldn't. I stalled too long and the background and everyone faded from view as the mighty ice goddess came down from the heavens. I winced as the floor under my feet turned dark blue and was covered with a thick sheet of ice. I prepared my self for the obvious. The ice crawled up the walls and shattered. Ice pierced my skin and left visible proof of my defeat.

"Damn." I muttered, as I sank into darkness.

When I woke, I saw the familiar white walls of the infirmary. The room was dark, the only light coming from the hallway. I slowly sat up, careful not to disturb any of my injured parts. I didn't have temperamental amnesia. I knew where I was. I also knew why I was there.

Trepe had KO'ed me. Once again, I had been beaten by a girl.

"Seifer?"

Looking up, I saw Quistis outlined in the dim yellow glow resonating from Dr. Kadowaki's desk light. She cautiously stepped into the room and sat in the hard plastic chair next to my cot.

"So. How are you feeling?"

I heard a bit of pity in her voice. The one thing I didn't need. Still, it isn't often that a beautiful girl comes to my side, acting as if I were on my death bed. I decided to milk it for all it was worth.

I fell back on the pillow on the bed and sighed exasperatedly. "Oh, you know. I feel like every bone in my body is shattered. I won't ever be able to walk again. This whole experience will have me traumatize."

She smiled at me, catching on quickly. "Well, you know what they say. The bigger they are. . ."

"The harder they fall." I finished for her.

She giggled and patted my arm. "No, really. How are you?"

"I'm fine." I tilted my head so that I could get a better view of her. "How are you doing?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm in detention for the rest of the month. Every Friday I have to report to Cid's office and play secretary. I broke a sacred rule."

My eyes widened in surprise. "Trouble, you?"

"Yeah. Caroline said that we weren't supposed to use GFs. She told me that a GF with as much power as Shiva could have killed you, even though I didn't boost her. She said that she never thought to remind us because she considered it common knowledge. She also decided to have you stop volunteering."

Wincing, I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. "And why would she go and say a thing like that?"

Quistis shook her head and withdrew her hand from my arm. "You know damn well why."

I reached out and touched her face, brushing back a stray hair. "I guess that I'll just have to be risky in other ways."

Her eyes widened, surprised at my sudden move. "Seifer?"

Leaning over, I kissed her softly. "Quistis."

She smiled.

No one would have expected me and Quistis to become a couple. We were too much alike and our personalities should have clashed. We were both bold and could be arrogant. She just hid it better then me. I bet if you were to ask her about us now, she'd deny all of it, but believe me it was there. I don't blame her for hating me. I hurt her badly. I prided myself in having the beautiful Miss Trepe by my side. I enjoyed the hateful looks her fan club gave me, and I treasured every moment, every smile we shared. But everything changes, that is the only certainty about life. I was a hormone charged sixteen year-old, and she was to become my first innocent victim.

She waited for me after my weapons class that I had every Tuesday and Thursday night, with Squall Leonhart. It pained me that the classes were grouped by skill and a boy younger than I was in the same class, even if he was good.

Anyway, Quisty picked me up after class. We were going to go to train for Caroline's test the next day. Our final exam was an extended field trip to the Island of Hell to practice our magic. We were supposed to have mastered the art of magic and the onlys thing we were allowed to use were magic and magic enhanced weapons. I had switched my GF of choice to Tritoch who was a non-elemental GF who did extensive damage. Quisty stuck with Shiva.

She grinned when she saw me and I felt like melting. I couldn't believe she was mine. She ran through the rest of the hallway and grabbed my arm. "Ready to go?"

I smiled at her. "Yeah. We'll ace this one. No doubts."

She nodded, tightening her grip. We were sneaking out of the Garden to do some 'exploring' outside. Of courses it wasn't anything new to me, but she had never deliberately broken any of Garden's rules. Quisty tried to play it off by pretending to be cool about it, but I knew better. She had never done anything against school policies. If we were caught, we would be suspended for a week at the least. We would fail any up coming tests, and she would shatter her dreams of ever becoming an instructor.

We crept through the dark halls silently, avoiding all signs of light. She jumped noticeably when someone called out my name. I patted her on the shoulder, recognizing the voice.

"Hey Rajin." I whispered, turning around.

The moonlight played tricks on my eyes and made the trees dance across the hallway so that I could barely see my friend when he approached us. The eeriness of the situation caused Quistis to hold on tighter to my arm.

"Hey. Where are y'all going? Its past curfew, ya know."

Quistis attempted to hide behind me, blending in with the shadows. Rajin, who isn't as dumb as people think, noticed her right away.

"Hey! It's Quistis ya know! Ya got a new girl, Seifer?"

I glared at him and did my best impersonation of Fujin. "RAGE!"

Rajin laughed. "Perfect, ya know. I was just looking for her. You haven't seen her have you?"

It was my turn to laugh. "Why, you got a new girl?"

He blushed and looked at his feet. "No! It ain't nothing like that, ya know. She just left her book in my dorm and . . ."

I nodded, knowingly. "Oh, your dorm. I see. Not a Girl Next Door, I hope."

He shook his head. "You're impossible, ya know. Good luck, Quistis." Rajin stumbled down the hall, obviously still flustered.

I faced Quistis. She smiled weakly at me and let go of my arm. "Let's go." Her voice trembled slightly.

"You sure you still want to do this? We can just go to the training center if you're worried." Then I silently cursed my self. I had made it come out like a challenge and with her pride she would followed me to Diablos now.

"Not on your life." She glanced at Rajin's retreating back and started down that hall quickly.

We went straight through the front gates. Quistis had been nervous about disregarding the rules so blatantly, but followed my lead. As I thought, no one was manning watch there. I turned to my accomplice.

"They expect us to use more obvious exits like the parking lot. However, I know better."

She laughed, excited and relieved to be out of Garden. "Whatever. Let's just get going before someone catches onto your brilliant little plan."

The night air was cool and comfortable. From time to time we would hear an owl hoot or some other type of animal move around. Thinking back now, I'm not quiet sure what we were looking for. We fought a few beasts and drew the necessary magics from them, but that only took the good part of an hour. After a short while, we sat down under a tree to rest.

I snickered and stretched my legs out. "I have no idea where we are, do you?"

Quistis shook her head, choosing to sit cross-legged in silence. "Nope."

We sat in silence for a few minutes before Quistis grabbed my hand and glanced at me sideways. "Why did you choose me, Seifer?"

I raised an eyebrow and yawned. "What do you mean?"

She said nothing for a few moments, trying to get her thoughts in order. A noise was heard to the left of us. "You could have had any girl in garden. Why did you choose me?"

I laughed gently and stroked the side of her face. "Any girl? They all hate me. Even you hated me. Always stuck on Leonhart. But I wanted a challenge. You were a challenge." A red light went off in my head, but I ignored it.

She tensed up and pulled away from me. "A challenge? What do you mean?"

An ant crawled across my hand. This was becoming an increasingly dangerous and uncomfortable situation.

I sighed, irritated, and brushed the dirt form my hands. "I mean that you were always so perfect. All high and mighty. Queen Bitch. I never though I could have you. That's why I wanted you."

Quistis slowly pulled her hand away from mine and pulled her knees up to her chest. "You really though that way about me?"

It was late and I didn't have the patience to deal with her. My head hurt, my legs hurt and I'd be damned if I wasn't sitting on an ant hill. "Yeah. I did. And I thought that I didn't mind to tell you that a few times."

She sniffled. "Well, after that morning in the cafeteria I though you never meant it."

I glared into nothingness. Girls looked too deep into things. They expected you to mean everything good you say, but never any of the bad. They always fish for compliments, never excepting themselves the way they really are. They seemed to need a guy to tell them how wonderful they are.

"Quistis, I was still messed up from the battle. I. . ."

I stopped talking because Quistis started crying. I looked around the tree to see her. She noticed me and drug her arm across her eyes and stood up.

"I'm going back to the Garden."

I stood up as well and attempted to grab onto her arm. "Quistis, wait."

She looked at me, smiling softy. The moonlight reflected off her tears and high lighted her beauty even more. "Why? Why should I wait for you? So you can leave me behind. I thought you . . .? She took a deep, ragged breath, trying to collect her shattered thoughts. "Never mind. It doesn't matter now."

I grabbed her arm. "Quistis, I do care about you. I'm just tired and stressed. I do care about you."

Her eyes met mine, tears still streaming down her face. "Really?"

I lowered my voice down to a whisper. "Yeah. I love you."

She embraced me and in there, she lost her innocence. It was her first time, but not mine.

We made it back to the garden just before sun rise. Quistis was hanging onto my arm and grinning. I think at that time, I actually did have feelings for her, but we were too young to know what love really was. I kissed her and she ran off toward her dorm. We had a test in about an hour and we had done little studying.

I took a quick shower, barely noticing Rajin wasn't in his bed. I smiled to myself thinking he must have gotten him some too. I changed into my 'uniform' and headed out to the front gates. There Caroline and Quistis were waiting with the rest of our class. Quistis had lost her grin.

Caroline herded us all into a semi-advanced air craft named the Falcon. I thought a more suitable name for it would have been the Sparrow, but when I told Quistis that she shook her head and continued looking out the window.

Angry, I walked through the ship, heading for the loading bay. I loved listening to the sound of my feet hitting the metallic floor and listing to the mechanic hum of the engines. I hated how I felt inside, so worthless. My demons had taken up their familiar dance in my head, telling me what a failure this test would be. How badly I was going to disgraced myself. I tried to push them down with thoughts of success, but they fought back. My thoughts were interrupted by Caroline, who had undoubtedly followed me.

"Seifer? Can we talk?"

I faced the wall, letting the moment direct its self.

She came and stood directly behind me, invading my personal bubble beyond any belief. "You have great talents. I don't know why you hide them so deeply."

I shook my head and found a bolt to study. "No talent." I muttered.

Her eyes bore into the back of my head. "If you're looking for compliments or reassurances of your manliness, I won't give them to you."

My temper flared and I wished death onto the little silver bolt. "Then why are you here? You are always bothering me when I least want someone to talk to. You must have a reason. Instructors don't just chat with students."

She smiled. "Fine. I think you would make a good instructor."

I turned to face her and laughed. "Right. Me. You want instructor material, go talk to Quistis."

She nodded her head. "I have. I've also spoken to Cid. He agrees somewhat with me."

I took somewhat as meaning not at all.

"If you two pass this test, I will endorse your instructor license. I am only offering you and Quistis this chance."

I laughed again, this time my voice cracked. "Right. I'm not even SeeD yet. How can I become an instructor?"

"That's why I talked to Cid." Her eyes gleamed mischievously. "He has agreed, under special circumstances, to exempt you from the SeeD qualification exam if you pass my test with 250 pts. Seeing as how points are indefinite on this test, you should have no problems obtaining them."

She was called to the bridge and left me standing, shocked. I didn't want to become an instructor, but Caroline had me. I wanted to be a SeeD more than anything in the world. I decided I would go through with the test. Heart pounding, I followed Caroline up to the bridge.

She looked up at me when I walked into the room. I nodded slightly. Her face brightened and she gave me a thumbs up.

I saw Quistis sitting cross-legged on the floor, gazing dreamily out the window. I sauntered over and stood directly in her view.

She blinked and smiled. "Hey stranger."

I plopped down next to her. "Whatcha up to girl?"

She sighed. "Just thinking. Caroline said I could make instructor today. It would make a great birthday present."

I nodded. "Yeah, won't tell you what I got you though."

She glared at me. "Are you even listening?"

"Yeah." Quistis continued talking about passing the test. I was watching Caroline, trying to figure her out. She was only a year or so older than me. I wonder if. . .

Quistis tugged on my arm. "Hey! I was right you aren't listening. What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "It's nothing."

She turned herself so we were sitting knee to knee. "Don't tell me that. I feel like I know you better than I know myself. I know something is bothering you and I want to know what it is."

I looked into her eyes and what I saw frightened me. I didn't see hate or fear. I saw loneliness, sorrow, and hope. She was right. She did know me, but she didn't understand. My eyes flickered to Caroline. I couldn't wish for more than I was given. Caroline believed in me. She went against Cid's wishes to get me this chance. But what if I failed?

Unfortunately, Quistis caught my gaze and took it the wrong way.

Softly she whispered, "You aren't tied to me."

Her eyes filled with tears and she quickly wiped them away. I grabbed her hands. "No, no. Quistis. It isn't anything like that. I have a chance to become instructor too. But I'm so, so," my voice caught. "Afraid I guess. I don't want to fail again. I don't want to handle that disgraced."

Quistis smiled. "You won't. You are a strong, brave person. You should have made SeeD last year. Now you have a chance to redeem your self."

She was so innocent. Even that which I thought I had robbed her of was still there. Slowly I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small box. She looked at me with questions in her eyes.

"Your birthday present. I want you to have it now. For luck."

She took the box and slowly opened it. Inside was a silver necklace with a cross, also silver. Again her eyes filled with tears, but this time she didn't bother wiping them away. I leaned over to help her put it on. Then I hugged her. She moved back over to sit next to me and we held on to each other until the ship landed.

I had never felt so completed, so happy. I had a chance at SeeDship once again with test results that any junior classmen could obtain. I had a loyal friend who would always be there for me. I had a 'rival'. My life was, as far as I was concerned, was perfect.

Then, of course, my demons had to speak up. In deathly tones they warned me of failure and impending doom. They foreshadowed certain defeat and a loss of everything, everyone that I held dear. They danced a dance of destruction across my memories and assured me that this time things would be no different. That I would fail at this too.

I shook them off, not wanting to ruin the mood. They continued nagging me, like children begging for candy.

My demons had a habit of being right.