The Yuyu Muffin Crew

Disclaimer: We do not own Yuyu Hakusho, If You Give a Moose a Muffin, or muffins in general.

(Kegam: A DELICIOUS PICNIC LUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!) You've taken the words right out of my mouth.

Chapter 2: If You Give Hiei a Muffin

If you gave Hiei a muffin...

...he'd stare suspiciously at it. There would be a blueberry shaped oddly like Kuwabara's head sticking out of the bread. That would remind him that he had vowed to kill Kuwabara at precisely 10 a.m. that day, so he would ask you for a clock. He would demand the wall clock that hanging above your microwave in the next room and order you to get it for him. You wouldn't be able to reach it so Hiei would decide to get it for himself. Being a foot shorter than you, he wouldn't be able to reach it either.

After jumping tirelessly for a period of time that is unknown to both you and him since you can't reach the clock, Hiei would grow impatient and blast a hole through your kitchen wall. The blast would go right through your neighbor's house, leaving a window-sized hole in their bathroom, in which your elderly neighbor is bathing. For a minute you would both be frozen with shock, your mouths hanging open and all three of Hiei's eyes threatening to engulf his face. Your neighbor would be equally surprised, blushing the same shade of pink as his shower cap. The good news is that he's up to his ears in bubble bath, so all three of you would recover relatively quickly.

At the sight of the old man in the bathtub scrambling to wrap a towel around his waist and run out of the room screaming "Marge!", Hiei would decide that he would like to fight the thing that had struck such fear into the heart of that wrinkly old ningen man. He would ask you to take him over to meet the large porcelain ningen-bathing demon. You would blink at him a few times, but lead him into your bathroom, assuming that he meant that he would like to take a bath. He would narrow his eyes, pleased at finally meeting this "Bathtub" fellow, and would loose his sword from its sheath. You would be surveying a variety of soaps and would jump three feet in the air when you heard a loud crash from behind you. The open container of blueberry flavored shower gel would be flung into the air. When you turned around you would see Hiei drenched in blue goo standing over what used to be your bathtub before Hiei had sliced it in half with his sword. Hiei would sniff the gel on his shoulder. It would remind him of the blueberry that was shaped like Kuwabara's head. He would order you to retrieve it for him.

And chances are, if you gave Hiei the blueberry...

...he'd want a muffin to go with it.

(Kegam: METALLICA!!!!!) Um, REVIEW!