Authors Note: Okay this is my first story and it's supposed to be funny. So don't shoot me if it's not. I have a weird sense of humour. (Note the second U in humour? Yes, I'm Canadian! Hurray!) Disclaimer: I do NOT own Inuyasha and co. except I do own Shippo's life! (I'm j/k; my name is Kitsune-Inochi translation Fox Life hehehe) Like I said weird sense of humour.

Fleas

It was a hot day in feudal Japan, The gang had heard of rumours of jewel shards so they naturally went to go check them out. Inuyasha and the gang very sunny as the gang walked along a path in the forest. There were numerous trees. Inuyasha was walking in the lead, followed by Kagome and Sango talking in the middle with Kirara at Sango's heels, and trailing at the end was Miroku with Shippo on his shoulder bugging him.

All of a sudden Inuyasha stops in an open field and whacks himself on the face. From behind the girls and Shippo found it quite (sp?) amusing. Miroku didn't notice them stopping.

"What's Inuyasha doing Kagome?" Sango asks her "sister"

"I'm not sure. It looks like he's hitting himself," She answers.

"I figured that much," Sango says.

Miroku didn't hear them talk or stop (I said that already didn't I? O well...) till it was too late. He bumped right into Sango with his hand very close to her butt. 'Just a little closer' he thought to himself (yes you guessed it!). Moving his hand about an inch up and to the right he grabbed her butt.

"Hentai" Sango says as she grabs her boomerang and whacks him over the head.

"It was worth the pain" Miroku whispers before passing out.

By the end of Miroku's 30-second pervert ordeal the girls finally notice Myoga.

"What do you want?" Inuyasha asks rudely to Myoga

"Um... a... just making sure that you're alive and well Lord Inuyasha" Myoga answers a little nervous.

"Oh" Inuyasha says, "What happened to the monk" pointing the last part to the girls and Shippo.

"What do you think? The guy is a pervert," Sango grumbles.

"Um... Inuyasha lets go look for the shard again, ok?" Kagome says. So off they went, out of the clearing and down the path once more searching for the jewel. Inuyasha with Myoga on his shoulder and Miroku were up at the front while the girls brought up the rear. They walked for a while when Sango noticed something.

"The wind started to pick up," stated Sango. Myoga also notices the wind and decides that Miroku's shoulder is much safer.

"Do you think that it might be Kagura?" Miroku asks.

"I sense jewel shards!" Kagome yells.

*Sniff* "Smells like that Wimpy Wolf," says Inuyasha smelling the air.

"Wimpy wolf?" Myoga asks not aware who it could be.

"He means Kouga," Miroku answers now aware that Myoga is on his shoulder.

"Oh, Who's Kouga?" Myoga asks again.

"He and Inuyasha are arch rivals, both trying to win Kagome's heart. But unfortunately for Inuyasha he's too blind to notice that Kagome doesn't have feelings for Kouga. It's pathetic really," says Shippo from Kagome's arms. Fortunately Inuyasha was too pissed off at Kouga coming that he didn't hear Shippo. So Shippo didn't get bit to a bloody pulp (sorry).

"Hey if it isn't the flea-bitten mutt," Kouga says entering the clearing.

"I AM NOT FLEA-BITTEN!!" Inuyasha yells as the rest of the gang tries not to laugh. Unfortunately Kagome can't keep it in and practically laughs her head off. Meanwhile Myoga makes his escape knowing that it's going to get ugly.

"What's so god dam funny, wench?!" says "the flea-bitten mutt"

"It's just *laugh* what Kouga says is so *laugh* true," Kagome laughs. "If you're not flea-bitten then what do you call Myoga? A fly? Cause every time he visits he bits you. Shall we know call you Inuyasha the fly-bitten dog?"

"Grrr!" Growls Inuyasha.

"Um... Kagome that wasn't very nice," Sango tells her sisterly friend.

'OMG! Sango's right. What have I done? Inuyasha probably hates me for what I said' Kagome thinks to herself.

"Huh? So it's true? You do have fleas?! I'm not going to let my woman near you again." Wolf boy half yells.

Inuyasha doesn't hear the comment about Kagome being Kouga's woman. He only heard the insult that really pissed him off.

"I DON'T HAVE FLEAS!!! I ONLY HAVE ONE!!" Inuyasha yells back holding up one finger to show that he only has one. ((A/N no not the middle finger. Tho that would be funny)) Inuyasha then looks around "Where did he go?" referring to Myoga.

"Probably back to Totosai's," Miroku states the obvious.

Inuyasha then mumbles something about fleas, cowards and Myoga.

'Oh yeah, I almost forgot what I came for' Koga thought to himself. "Hey dog turd! I've come for my woman."

"She is not your woman!" Inuyasha yells as he unsheathes Tetsusaiga.

Both demon and hanyou were at fighting positions. Ready for the other to attack first.

'Omg... what should I do? They are going to hurt each other and I'm not in the mood to see them fight. Wait I'm never in the mood to see them fight. Think Kagome think.'

"Sit Inuyasha!"

*THUD*

"What the hell?" Inuyasha complains.

"Koga I think you should leave." Kagome starts.

"But"

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. Now go!" Kagome finishes.

"Anything for you my Kagome" with that said he leaves.

After making sure that Koga really left she walked up to Inuyasha remembering her outburst. Leaning in close to his ear she whispers her apology.

"As long as he's gone Kagome I'm okay. BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SIT ME FOR?" Inuyasha yells the last part.

"Because you were going to get hurt!" She yells back.

"Let's just look for that shard, okay guys?" Miroku says getting close to Sango.

"Agreed" Sango, says. She then feels something on her ass.

"Hentai" *SLAP* Miroku falls unconscious.

"Kirara can you carry him?" Sango asks.

"Meow"

They put Miroku on Kirara and continue to look for the shard.

THE END

Author's Notes:

Arigato to all those who read Fleas!!!

Please Review. I'd like your input.

ALSO!!! If asked permission you may use my one-shot in your story! Just email me first and I'll give you the GO!! (if I do give you permission you may change the end/beginning to fit your needs)

~Kitsune-Inochi~