A/N: I've been having a severe case of writer's block and I think I have to get this out of my system before I can continue with 'Killing Me Softly'. I'm really sorry if I'm taking so long! Chapter 8 is half done and I promise I won't abandon what I've started. Thanks for those who continue to wait for my updates, from the bottom of my heart.
Standard disclaimers apply. Ranma and crew not mine and never will be, no matter how many gods I pray to.
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IN THE STILL OF THE NIGHT
She grabbed her hair in frustration and violently twisted and turned in her bed, mindless of the already messy sheets. She pressed her hands to her ears wildly, as if doing so would keep his carefree voice from engraving itself into her confused mind- but his voice was already there in her head and will, she thought in irritation, remain to haunt her and give her a lifetime of sleepless nights.
How long? How long till the shattered shadows of her heart be glued together by a light so beautiful she'd had to squint her eyes and crouch into her defensive self to see?
Always, always, she had hidden her eyes from him, never allowing him to stare into the brown pools of her naked confessions, fearing he would not drown- only turn away in ignorance. Yes, she feared because every time she dared look into his eyes, she had almost lost herself into the bluest of skies, the deepest of oceans. For a long time she had wondered what lay beneath his stoic features, his cruel words and cold shrugs. For a long time she had wondered what it would be like to be wrapped so protectively, so tightly in those strong, slender arms, how it would feel to be the one those ruthless lips should kiss good night or how his black mane should feel slipping through her nimble fingers, free of the frigid braid.
Maybe it was her fault. How many times had she called him names? How many names had she called him? How many painful times had she pushed him away? Didn't she herself remain defensive and boorish towards him?
Ah, the complicated musings of the fearful, tired heart.
She buried her face deeper into the pillow and shut her eyes, willing precious sleep to envelope her in its warm, forgetting embrace. But then his handsome face once more invaded her concentration and she sat up in defeat, surrendering to the tortures her wakefulness brought her every single night since he had come into her life and decided to turn her into an obsessive idiot.
She made her way out of bed and proceeded to find him. She could not go on the way she was doing. The days, she feared, won't forever hide her shadows and the whole world would know if he didn't first.
He would be awake. Tonight, she hoped, he had been sleepless too.
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He loved her, he knew. He just never admitted it to himself. But he couldn't deny it anymore. How else could he explain her face haunting his dreams or his urge to kiss her every time he forgot to keep his distance? Often, he would try to show her, tell her how wonderful she was and how he felt about her, but as often, he would face her and all coherent thoughts would leave his head and all he ended up doing was get her furious- or worse- sad.
Before he met her, he never thought he'd ever admit it to himself, but he was not entirely fearless. Yes, he was scared. He was scared of what she might say or do if he told her. He was scared of knowing what she felt because he was afraid of rejection. Also, he was scared of how everyone else would react if he let himself loose. Heck, the fiancés would all try to kill her and no matter how tough she always pretended to be, she'd never be able to handle an angry Amazon, an indignant lunatic and an upset Ukyou single-handedly. He feared for her. He didn't doubt that her suitors would do something atrocious and if they did, he'd live the rest of his life with blood on his hands if need be.
No, he would never want to cause her the slightest bit of suffering… but little did he know that he had already caused her far more than he would ever intend.
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She found him lying on the roof, his hands behind his contemplative head. She made her way towards him and he looked at her, acknowledging her presence.
Against the moonlight, he thought she had never looked more beautiful and he held back a sigh.
"Ranma?" she whispered tentatively, sitting beside him.
"What?" His gaze fell to her twiddling fingers and he wondered what she was being nervous about. It was never like her to act so awkward and tentative.
"Why… Why aren't you sleeping?"
I've been thinking of you, that's why, he thought to himself. "I just couldn't. What are you doing up here?"
"I couldn't sleep either."
A comfortable silence fell upon them for a while before Akane managed to gather enough courage to do what she had been wanting, dreading to do.
"Hey, Ranma?"
"Hmm?"
"Have you… Have you ever wanted so desperately to do something so atrociously tempting, so unexplainably wonderful, you reprimand yourself and at the same time encourage and acknowledge your wanting to do it?"
He sat up and faced her, his face not showing any signs of comprehension. He raised an eyebrow at her. "What are you babbling about, tomboy?"
She winced at the name but for once decided to ignore it.
"Well… I know it's confusing… but… but… What I'm trying to say is… If… If you were to decide right now who you are to marry, who would be your choice?" She held her breath.
Her question shocked him. She had never been so forward about their… situation. "Why are you asking this?"
"Just… Just answer the stupid question!" Once again, her uneasiness brought about her defensive irritation. "I just… I have to know."
He paused for a while, his heart beating rapidly. If he were to tell her now… Was it the right time? Oh, how long he had been procrastinating, telling himself to wait for the 'right time'. But when was the right time? When she had grown tired of listening to his insults? When she had held her breath long enough for him to come to terms with his own emotions? When she had married some obsessive idiot who would no more desire her body than worship her wonderful, sacred being?
Right now, he didn't want to look in her eyes because if he did, he knew he would truly see how beautiful she was and all flaws he had tried to demand from her would soon fade away and he would be left defenseless and weak beneath her penetrating stare, unable to resist loving her, unable to ignore the commands of his heart and soul.
He waited for her to prompt him but she remained silent, her wide eyes steady and brave. He breathed and calmed himself before answering. "What kind of a stupid question is that? Considering the choices," he muttered matter-of-factly, "a crazy Amazon, an even crazier loony and a very good friend whose life I don't want to ruin by forcing into marriage… That leaves the uncute, clumsy tomboy. Better you than them, ey?" He waited for her outburst- a mallet, a punch, anything…
But she lowered her eyes in disappointment and hurt, in vain trying to stop the tears from coming. Never, never would a man be able to make her feel so weak, she had told herself. But Ranma was no average man and she had not prepared a defense against her own foolish emotions.
Once again, he had managed to make her feel pitifully stupid and once again, he had managed to say the farthest thing from his mind.
"Oh," her voice cracked, to her utter horror, and she hastily tried to stand up lest he see her tears.
He grabbed her arm and she looked farther away, trying to hide her face. "Oh come on now, Akane… Don't cry. That's like, a hit below the belt…"
"Why," her voice was strained now and choked. "W-why do you have to be so horrible, Ranma?"
"Look at me," he said, wanting now to take back every single insult he had told her.
She turned her face away from him even farther and he groaned inwardly. "I already know you're crying. No use trying to hide!"
She remained silent and he reached out and took her chin by his two guilty fingers. The sight of her sent prickles down his spine. He had never seen anything as heartbreaking as she looked. She was so beautiful he felt like the heavens would crush him for making such a lovely thing sad.
That moment, he didn't think and for once, it brought about something good. He didn't know he had said it out loud and when he gathered himself, it was already too late.
"I love you so."
Her eyes widened in surprise and it took him a moment to realize what he had said. An intense blush rose to his cheeks and his hand flew to his mouth. He panicked. "I-I… I just…"
"Did you just say that?" She wiped her face with her hands, never taking her eyes off his befuddled face.
He realized then, when he looked into her wide, confused, expectant eyes, that he had to be honest. She sounded so hopeful that she somehow convinced him to take the risk, just once, take the emotional risk.
"I… I did…"
"Did you mean it?" she prompted, her words shamelessly dripping with anticipation and almost-desperation.
He sighed and bravely answered before he could talk himself out of it. "Yes."
She thought for a moment, staring into the distance and Ranma held his breath. She looked at him and he noticed anxiously the suspicion and doubt framing her face.
"Kiss me," she said, daring him, needing him to make her believe.
He didn't even want to defy her. Many times he had longed to feel her lips against his. And now… and now she was ordering him to do so. He had no choice but to comply.
The touch was soft and gentle, her lips immediately becoming pliant. In that kiss, he tried to convey all the wonderful things he felt for her, all the dreams he had of being with her, all the pent up emotions he'd had to fight everyday.
They pulled away and Akane slowly opened her eyes. He still had his closed and she smiled. He looked like he was still trying to make sure he wasn't dreaming. When he finally opened his eyes to look at her, he sighed in relief.
"Do you believe me?" he asked, grinning.
"Is Happosai an old, sexually frustrated lecher?"
They laughed and the gloomy atmosphere lifted.
"I'd always wanted to do that," he said, blood rising to his cheeks.
"I'd always wanted you to do that," she replied.
He smiled and she thought she had never seen him so naked of defensiveness. "Would you let me do it again?"
"Maybe," she teased.
After a moment of comfortable silence, she voiced out the question that was bothering them both. "What happens now?"
"I don't know… Do you love me?"
Akane looked at him and smiled softly. "Yes."
He thought he had never felt so happy in his life. "Then we face them. We face them together, ne?"
"Yes… Aren't you scared?"
"Are you?"
"Yes," she admitted, her gaze falling to her lap.
He took her hand in his and kissed her palm. "I am too… but I love you more."
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A/N: I know, I know… It was kind of pointless… But… I just… I just wanted a bit of fluff, you know… a calm bit of fluff…
