Part II
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The following day I went to work, still pondering over my friend's behavior. I felt stupid for falling asleep that night. I hadn't seen what time Will returned to the apartment, therefore I had no conclusions! There was an empty sheet in front of me, but what was there to put on it?
'Jack and Will had a conflict before the trip. Jack was strangely depressed. Will was highly irritable and easily angered. Jack and Will leave for the trip. They come back, happier and calmer than ever. But there is still tension.' I looked down at my paper and smacked myself. I had written my thoughts on my notebook. I tore the paper off and threw it in the trash.
Just then Karen came in, and sat down at her desk. I glanced over at her and smiled.
"Hey Karen."
"Hey Grace." she said shortly and began filing her nails. I watched her impatiently, kind of wanting to share what I was feeling. I kept my notebook in front of me, looking down at it and sketching some more of my thoughts. I couldn't hold it in any longer.
"Hey Karen?"
"Yes?" she said in her sweet voice.
"Don't you think Jack and Will have been, acting, strangely since they came back?" I watched Karen's facial expression change right then. She looked extremely irritated.
"What do I care about your 'mo? Just let me worry about mine." she hissed and pulled out a drink. I gave her a shocked look. Why would she say that?!
"What do you mean? What's wrong with yours?" I asked, a bit insulted that she was disregarding Will so much lately. She groaned in annoyance and looked at me.
"Look. I know that they're both acting strangely. And I know they're hiding something."
"That's exactly what I was thinking!" I said excitedly, jumping up and down. Karen was quicker than I gave her credit for! There was a knock on the door.
"Hey chicas!" Jack gave us a sunny smile and walked in, still in his nurse uniform. "Im on my lunch! Just wanted to say what a day I've had! I got to work in the ER for the first time! It was so hard. At first I kept dropping the tray, because of all the blood and stuff, but I got used to it." he nodded his head and smiled, very proud of himself.
"Oh Jackie. You wanna grab something to eat? This place is making me feel dizzy." Karen suggested and began picking up her purse.
"Oh, well, Im kind of going to meet Will right now." he said. Karen and I looked at each other.
"Hey. Why don't we all just go together? I'm starving. Need some brain food." I grinned, gesturing to my empty notebook.
"Fine." Jack shrugged.
When we arrived at the cafe, Will was already sitting at a table with an available seat. I looked at him curiously as he reacted to us all being there. Jack suggested we move to a table for four on the other side of the place.
"Hey Will." I smiled and sat next to him on one side of the table. Jack and Karen were on the other. Of course when Karen was present, Jack and she would go at it; talking and joking around. I guess Will felt left out, because he looked very annoyed.
"Jack," he said. Jack turned from his conversation with Karen and looked at Will.
"Yes?"
"I thought we were going to go over your taxes today." he gritted. Jack tilted his head, apparently confused. But then he nodded.
"Oh! We can do that later." he smiled and then looked back at Karen, who was now taunting some child that kept staring at her.
"No one loves you." Karen whispered and nodded vigorously at the child, who scowled.
"Karen." Jack shook his head at his good friend, but suppressed some giggles. They started talking about what people were wearing. There was no turning back now.
Will wasn't talking to me; just reading some papers from work, I guess. I sighed and looked at him.
"Hey Will, did Jack tell you how he got to train in the ER today?" I asked. Will looked up at Jack, who kept giggling with Karen.
"No he didn't." he looked a bit thoughtful and kept a restful gaze on his friend. There was a lot of emotion in the look. I was so astonished by this, I could hardly contain my excitement. Something was going on all right! But then suddenly, Karen shrieked. She quickly calmed and looked under the table.
"Wilma," she began flatly. "as much as I'd love to play footsie, would you mind keeping your payless pumps off of my new 'hose?"
Will looked embarrassed and apologized, saying he was just stretching. Karen glared at him skeptically and got up to leave. Jack frowned at Will and followed Karen out.
"Do you know what's wrong with Karen?" I asked.
"How should I know?" he grimaced and started packing up his things.
"What's going on Will?" I asked shaking my head at him.
"What do you mean?" he sighed and stood up. I followed suit and made my way out of the booth table.
"I mean, you've been acting so different since you came back."
"I don't know what you're talking about." he got frustrated and stopped in front of a different coffee shop. Our lunch had been cut short due to the exchange Karen and he had. So we still had to get something in our stomachs. Will ordered a latte and a bagel. I took a chocolate muffin with a latte and just hung out with Will in the coffee shop for a while. I tried to talk about the things I was noticing.
He had this ritual of rolling his eyes every time I addressed his behavior. According to Will, I was the one acting strangely. He kept turning it around on me, saying I was no longer living with him, so things were different to me.
"Bullshit." I told him. It was blunt enough to make him glare at me.
"Things aren't different." he said evenly.
"I know you're keeping something from me. And I know something happened in San Diego." I said, just as evenly. Once again, he rolled his eyes and finished his latte.
"Grace." he said sweetly. "If something changed, you would know. Now I have to get back to work. See you tonight." he kissed me on the cheek and walked out of the coffee shop. I sat there with my unfinished drink and sighed.
"But I think I do know." I said to myself.
That night it happened again. But this time, it didn't follow a quarrel or anything. Will just crept out in the night, not stopping to think that I might be awake, or I might know about what he was doing. Of course, my first rational thought was that Jack had somehow convinced him to visit him in the night. Or that he needed help with something. But it kept happening. And I had an instinct that wouldn't let me be. But I didn't want to consider it. I didn't even want to say it in my head.
Then the next night, Will slipped out. And the night after that. I still cannot believe Will thought I would never notice or care. I can't believe he thought he could get away without me knowing. I was certain something sexual was going on. If anything else, it was something he did not want to share or want to come to light. Because they would just go about normally in the day; talking to each other, teasing each other. It was eerily normal and eerily calm. I was growing restless with knowing and not being told.
Then Will began to catch on. On one night I left my door slightly ajar. He noticed and walked to the kitchen instead of the front door. I smiled triumphantly. He fumbled around, grabbing a water bottle and then heading back to his room. He hadn't managed to sneak out that night. I began to do this; leaving the door open so he couldn't exit so easily. But I did fall asleep at times. On those nights he was lucky, and he would succeed in creeping over to Jack's apartment.
I didn't want to confront Will, without knowing for certain. I had been wrong many times. Perhaps I was overreacting, or jumping to conclusions. I needed to talk to Karen about it.
"Karen. Something is going on between Will and Jack." I said to her, nervously one noon in the office.
"I know." she sighed and closed the magazine she was browsing through.
"Really? Do you know what it is?" I pulled a chair next to her desk and sat down. She rolled her eyes and fiddled with an earring.
"Yup." she crossed her arms and looked the other direction.
"Well, what is it?" I was on the edge of my seat.
"They had a fight, went to Diego for a while and then came back nice and calm."
"I know that!" I said in frustration.
"Don't you see?
They're doing it." she said briskly.
"I knew it! I
knew it!" I put my hand over my mouth, jumping up from my seat,
but then paused. "Oh my god! They're doing it! They're doing it!
Together. Like both in one room! Doing it!"
"Shut up!" Karen snapped, suddenly annoyed.
"Well, how do you know?" I asked her.
"Sweetie, I just know." she smiled at me. "Jack has never acted the way he's been acting lately. Besides that, Will tried rubbing up on Jack in the cafe a while ago, but got me instead. Now that's my concrete evidence." she smirked.
"So that's what that was!" I gasped. "He's been sneaking out of the apartment and into Jack's almost every night. Could that be concrete evidence?"
Karen gave me a blank stare.
"Okay okay, so Im in denial." I sighed. "I just can't believe something like this would be happening and Will wouldn't tell me." I shook my head and walked back to my desk.
"Yea, well. My poodle hasn't told me anything either." Karen said sadly, before looking back at me. I suddenly felt a little more understanding as to why she was being so moody lately. Jack and she had a connection, almost like the one Will and I shared. And now that something was threatening their friendship, she wasn't taking it so well.
I began to wonder if what was happening between Will and Jack, was real or not. Was it something that would ruin the friendships we had established? Would it break us apart, if it was something that resulted in bitterness and resentment? I looked over at Karen who stared into her empty glass with a sullen look on her face.
"I have to talk to Will." I said with determination. "You know how to close up." I told her and grabbed my things. Karen gave a weak smile.
"Good luck." she said sarcastically and watched me leave.
I quickly made my way down the stairs and onto the street. Hailing a cab, I pulled my cell phone from my bag and dialed Will's work number to let him know I was coming. The receptionist picked up and told me Will had taken the rest of the day off. I frowned in thought and immediately knew that he was at the apartment.
The cab dropped me off. I hurried up the walkway and into the building. So many things raced through my head, like how I would confront Will about all of this, and how he would react, how he would feel if I assumed something was happening, when it wasn't. How could Karen and I be wrong, though? It was too obvious. Although Will was good at keeping secrets from me, I always had a way of finding out who he's bedding, or seeing.
It was difficult to think about Will and Jack now. How was it possible after all the years they'd known each other, that they just decide to change things? How was it possible, that rational and practical Will Truman would think of it as a good idea? Whatever the case, if it made him happy I was willing to be happy for him.
I got out of the elevator and headed towards the apartment. It was locked. I groaned in impatience and reached into my purse for the key. Pulling it out, I jammed it in and opened the door.
It was silent.
I looked around and sighed. The lights were off and the answering machine was untended to, so I assumed he was not there. I walked out and over to Jack's apartment. Once again I was greeted with an empty apartment. I was beginning to wonder where they were. They could be anywhere in New York City. But then I began to wonder why I was assuming they were together. Maybe Jack was still at nurse training. I was on my phone, questioning the hospital if Jack was present.
He had the day off. I was now positive they were together. I called Karen on her cell phone, because I knew once I left the office she would get bored and do the same.
"Hello."
"Karen! Did Jack or Will come by the office?"
"Nope."
"Where are you right now?"
"Just left the hospital. I was gonna check up on Jackie, but he wasn't there." she whined and began cursing at her driver.
"You should come by. When Will and Jack return, I don't want to confront them alone." I said. She made a frustrated sound, but complied.
"Fine. I'll see you in an hour. I have to get my hair done." She hung up the phone without a good bye. I didn't think she wanted to know the truth, or see it. But I sure did. I began pacing and thinking about what I would tell them, when I saw them. I walked back to Will's apartment and sat on the couch.
A lot of things changed since that time, before they left on their trip. I was kind of hoping for change in Will's life. He had been lonely for so long. But then, I felt a bit shaken that such a dramatic change would destroy the pleasant system we had established as friends. I suppose I was being selfish. I certainly changed things when I married, so I had no right to demand for the same old system to stay in tact, when I myself had altered it.
As innovative and open to change as I was, I grew so accustomed to the friendship that Jack and Will shared that I had no desire to see them break from the ritualistic way they treated each other. I watched from afar for so long, admiring Jack's devotion to his friend, and Will's distant but watchful eyes. They had their own system, their own language of how they expressed the way they cared about each other.
It was only a matter of time.
Lost in thought, I pulled myself off of the sofa and walked over to my room to get out of my work clothes. Perhaps I was just extremely paranoid. If they were together, I should have been ready enough.
As I was opening my room door, I noticed something on the ground beside the bathroom. It was Will's briefcase. I looked up at his door, which was closed. He was in there.
I felt my heart begin to pick up speed. If I opened the door, the truth would be revealed. I would be ready, right?
Apprehensively, I reached out for the doorknob. Did I bother to knock? No. If I did he would have time to hide, to conceal whatever it was he had been doing. Grabbing the handle, I paused.
I decided to listen, instead of barging in on something I didn't want to barge in on. It was quiet. I heard some movement however, and I slowly began to open the door.
The first thing I saw was the dim outline of Jack laying on Will's bed, asleep. I held my breath as my eyes shifted over to Will, who was just watching him. It sure was a vision, seeing them like that, entangled with each other under the bed sheet. Who am I kidding? It was absolutely breathtaking; witnessing Will who was protectively keeping vigil on his friend ... his lover.
Will noticed the change in light and looked up at me, his eyes were wide but absent of fear. I on the other hand, felt afraid and stumbled as I backed up to head back out toward the living room. I could hear Will hurrying to get dressed and follow me out.
Suddenly, I felt hurt. Because the look in Will's eyes when he saw me was something I had never seen before. It was him not wanting me to see, not wanting me to know.
Will gently closed the door to his room, being careful not to wake Jack. I walked frantically back and forth in the kitchen trying to figure out what to say to my best friend. He calmly looked at me as he stood in front of the bathroom door. I guess he was waiting for me to say something. But I didn't know what to say...
"I don't know what to say..." I managed, trying to sort through my emotions. Why was this such a big deal? I should have been happy, absolutely ecstatic that my friend had someone. But I was concerned as to why he didn't let me know about it...
"Im sorry I didn't tell you.." he got out in a hushed voice.
"Why didn't you?" I asked, my voice angry. "What was it?"
"I don't know."
I began to grow even more emotional. Throughout all the years Will and I were best friends, we had a way of telling each other everything, supporting each other no matter what ... and suddenly he decides to change it all and keep this huge secret.
"What was it? Were you unsure of what you were doing? Did you not want to tell me because you were ashamed-"
"No. That's not it." he said in a low voice, and crossed his arms.
"Well?"
He shrugged.
"I guess it was inevitable I find you like that." I laughed bitterly. "I mean ... you weren't that sneaky Will." I shook my head.
He was quiet.
"You decide to keep something like this from me ... it just hurts." I said. He rolled his eyes again. "Would you stop doing that? It makes me feel stupid." I said caustically.
"The lights are off.."
"Would you forget about the fucking lights Will?" I sighed. He ignored me and hit the switch. "You completely ignored me ... "
"And what about
me Grace?" He asked, as the gloomy midday room filled with
light.
"What do you mean...?" I asked cautiously. His eyes hardened.
"Did you ever think about what this means to me? How I'm feeling?"
"Well I-"
"Yes, Im uncertain, but Im not ashamed." His eyes were glimmering with emotion. I quieted and listened to him. "All these things that have been going on, I was supposed to hide from you. But I knew I didn't want to do that forever. I did it because ..." he hesitated.
"Because?"
"I was scared. Okay? I wasn't thinking about you. I wasn't thinking about hurting your feelings. I was thinking about Jack, and about me, and about what this would mean ... in the future and how it would change things..." he ran a hand through his hair and sat down at the table. I suddenly felt embarrassed for making such a big deal about my own feelings. I never stopped to consider what was going through my best friend's head as all this happened.
I sat beside him at the table, sensing his frustration simmer. I looked at him.
"Im sorry."
"Its ok." he smiled weakly and fiddled with a newspaper laid out on the table. We were quiet for a little while. He appeared a bit more relaxed just then.
"How did it all happen?" I asked him as gently as I could. He closed his eyes and smiled.
His story was lengthy and detailed like I had hoped. He told me about how his friendship with Jack had been suffering and how he was so confused with his feelings. It resulted in an unpleasant altercation. I was surprised Will had reacted in the way he did. He had never been violent. But if Jack forgave him so easily, I understood. Their bond was stronger than even something like that.
It was nothing compared to Will's epiphany however. How he found himself developing feelings for his younger friend, how that was part of the reason he acted so harshly that night. I listened carefully to my friend, utterly astounded at the magnitude of love in his words as he addressed the night on the beach with Jack.
I sat back when he finished, feeling happy, but worried. I looked at him closely.
"Do you love him?" I asked softly.
"Of course... I mean I told him-"
"He knows you love him Will. But are you in love with him?" I asked him firmly. His eyes drifted.
"I don't know ... I think so." he said as he looked at me. I smiled a broad smile and hugged him.
"Oh my god!" I stood up, covering my mouth with my hands. "This is real!"
"Yea..." Will said, looking surprised at himself. He stood up as well, I hugged him again and began to jump around. "Ssh! You'll wake Jack." he shushed me, but was still grinning.
"Hey Grace!" A high pitched voice suddenly called. I whirled around to face Karen. I had completely forgotten about our plan. She walked in through the door, with a cocky smirk on her face.
"Oh hi Ka-"
"Ok Wilma." she cut me off. "I know that you've been boinking Jackie, as of late. And Gracie and I just wanted to tell you that we know!" she nodded and crossed her arms.
"Karen," I took her aside. "I already told him, well I walked in on him first... but yea. Its over!" I smiled. Karen scowled at me, and then at Will.
"Its not over." she said. "Where's Jack?"
"Asleep." Will said. "I'll go check on him..." he said, apparently wanting to get away from a feisty Karen.
"Oh no you don't." Karen got in his way. "Haven't you boinked him enough?"
"Karen, will you stop saying 'boinked?'" I put a hand on my forehead. "Let him go... come on." I held out my hand to her. She refused to move. "Karen... come on."
Reluctantly she cleared the hallway, and let Will through. I looked at her sympathetically.
"Don't worry Kare. They love each other." I assured her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Jack is okay. They're both okay..." I smiled gently.
"Yeah...well." Karen uttered. I looked down at her.
"Karen? Are you crying?"
"No." she said sternly and turned from me. I knew how embarrassed she was about expressing emotion, so I let her be.
And I let my other friends be. I wondered if they had a future in mind at all. I knew Will wanted a future. He would not put up with indecisiveness and uncertainty. I hoped Jack was up for the challenge. But for that moment, I let them be. The change wasn't so bad. It was probably the best thing to happen in a while.
Karen and I sat down at the table with some ice cream. She played with her spoon.
"You know. We should be detectives!" she said thoughtfully and then looked at me. I grinned at her.
"We'd make good sleuths." I responded and laughed as Karen pondered the last word for a minute.
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OWARI
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I might have some more stories related to this storyline in the future. Well. Sorry this one took so long. Love ya!
