AN: I just wanted to point out, again, that I have very limited computer access, and what I do have is at work so it's not that I am intentionally going slow on my fics, it's that…well, I just can't get time to do them anymore!  But please review anyway, kay?

Story Summary: Summer 1968.  Joey meets Rachel in New York; Monica is struggling to raise Jakob alone; Ross leaves Saigon without his new bride; and Chandler is discovered by a group of American soldiers.

The Age of Aquarius

Chapter Nineteen: Love Will Keep Us Alive

I was standing

All alone against the world outside

You were searching

For a place to hide

Lost and lonely

Now you've given me the will to survive

When we're hungry... love will keep us alive

Vietnam

"Who did he say he was?"

"He didn't, sir, that's the thing.  He hasn't said one word since we found him."

"You sure he's one of ours?"

Chandler opened his eyes slowly, and focused on the two men that were conversing at the foot of his bed.  He wasn't sure how he had gotten there, but as his mind began to clear, he began to wonder just how long he had been unconscious.  He parted his dry lips slowly, and struggled to speak.

"He wasn't wearing his dog tags, but I'm sure that we could go through the list of recent MIA's—"

"We don't have time for that nonsense—let's get him ready to be sent home—let the desk jockey's in Bangkok figure it out."

"Sir, he's awake again."

The two soldiers looked over at the mystery man, and leaned in when he tried to speak.

"Wh-where am I?" the man rasped.

"You're at a military hospital—can you tell us your name, son?" the older soldier asked loudly.

"Bing, sir.  Lieutenant Bing.  H-how did I get here?"

"One of our units found you and brought you in Lieutenant.  You attacked Captain Peters, and his unit tracked you down after you bolted.  Do you remember any of this?"

"N-no.  I—I remember…I was captured…and then…there was a helicopter, and Joey…I don't know…"

"It's alright son, the medics here are going to take good care of you, and then you'll be going home."

"H-home?"

"Yes.  You do remember home, don't you?"

New York

"That's it up there, second house on the left," Ross instructed the cab driver, then sat back in his seat heavily.

He was finally home.

It hadn't really hit him—the fact that he was home—until his plane began making it's decent over the city.  The image of the grand, sprawling city from the skies high above would forever be etched in his mind; the golden light of the setting sun illuminating the glass panels of the Chrysler building; the understated elegance of the Empire State Building; the shimmering lights of a nocturnal city, ready to come to life again.  He smiled, his finger tracing along the small airplane window, eyes scanning the towering steel skeletons of two new towers, yet to be completed.  After spending so long in a city that was near ruin, he felt a satisfying, warm relief in finding himself arriving in a city that was still growing, and so full of life.

The taxi pulled into his parent's driveway, and he sat for a moment, his eyes scanning the house where he had spent his childhood.  A sudden sadness overwhelmed him, as he realized that his childhood had ended when he was sent to Vietnam.  He thought of Mei Ha, and wondered if he would ever see her again—his numerous requests to find her had gone unanswered; he thought about his life before Vietnam, and he wondered how much the people he'd left behind had changed.

Ross paid the driver, and stepped out of the taxi, his eyes never leaving the house that loomed in front of him. 

As the taxi pulled away, he placed his cap on his head, and straightened his uniform carefully, before slinging his bag over his shoulder, and heading toward his parent's house…toward home.

*

Phoebe shuffled up the steps to her building, while blankly flipping through the day's mail.  She keyed into her apartment to find Monica asleep on the sofa, Jakob snuggled securely in her arms.  She smiled slightly, and dropped into a chair adjacent to the sofa.  She sighed heavily, and turned to look out at the lights of the city. 

She hadn't been the same since Chris' murder.  She had lost something that day, something that could never be replaced—innocence, perhaps, or maybe it was naivety—whatever it was had been replaced with bitterness, regret and cynicism.

And she hated herself for it.

Her eyes fell onto her friend, still sleeping soundly, her face showing continuous signs of fatigue and stress.  Even with Chandler's father's help, Monica had been struggling to juggle her part-time job with raising Jakob.

How had they all come to this point?  How had they lost themselves so quickly?  When had their youth—their childhoods—passed them by?

Jakob squirmed and began to fuss, and Monica stirred.  Phoebe stood up quickly, and took Jakob from Monica, as she slowly opened her eyes.

"What time is it Pheebs?" Monica rasped, as she rubbed her red-threaded eyes.

"It's about seven…go back to sleep, I can take care of Jake."

"'s okay, I'm up," Monica yawned, "How was work?"

"Ugh, awful, I hate that job," Phoebe sighed, "but it will have to do for now."

"I'm sorry, Pheebs."

"No, it's okay.  I really don't think I would be happy in anything right now."

"Yeah," Monica whispered distantly, and stood up, just as the door intercom buzzed.  Monica crossed the room, and answered it.

"Rach, did you forget your key again?" she smiled.

"Um, no.  It—its Charles Bing."

"Oh!  Okay, yes, come on up!" Monica shot Phoebe a confused look, and buzzed Charles in.

He was standing in their doorway a few minutes later, a blank look on his face, and his hands shoved deep into his pockets.  He looked…numb.

"Charles, is everything okay?  Have you heard anything about—"

"Monica, I just…I came to say goodbye."

"What?  Goodbye?  Where—"

"I'm so sorry sweetheart.  I just…I can't stay here anymore…I need to get away from the…memories, I guess."

"But—"

"I'm moving with a friend to Las Vegas.  I'll send you my forwarding address once I'm settled.  I just…I can't be here anymore."

"But…what if they find Chandler?" Monica asked quietly.

"I—" Charles sighed, his shoulders dropping in helpless resignation, "I just don't think they will," he finished quietly, then looked down at Monica, "I'm leaving this for you—it should be enough money to see you and Jake through the next few months—and if you need anything, you can always call me, okay?  I'm sorry, Monica."

"Me too," Monica muttered, and watched as Charles walked toward Phoebe and kissed Jake goodbye, before walking out the front door wordlessly.

Monica sank onto the sofa, and put her head in her hands.

She wouldn't give up on Chandler—not yet.

Vietnam

He was standing in a field, surrounded by lush, yellow flowers, the air sweet with natural perfume, and the sky a brilliant blue.  There was a calmness surrounding him, as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, allowing the warm air to fill his lungs.

As he opened his eyes, he gasped at the sight that was now laid out in front of him: the flowers, once vibrant and colorful, were now dead and wilted; the sky was an ominous black, and the air was stale and putrid.  He coughed violently, and blood began pouring from his mouth…he struggled to scream, but no sound came out.

He fell to the ground, his body shaking violently, and suddenly, he was surrounded by blood-covered children, all of them screaming…

Chandler sat up in bed, sweating and panting.  It was the same nightmare he'd been having since he awoke in the hospital four days ago, yet it haunted him just the same.

He lay down in bed, and covered his face with his hands, in a futile effort to block out the horrible images that kept him awake at night.

If only he could figure out what they meant.

What had happened to him?  He had scars he didn't recognize, and his head was always throbbing…it was as though something was buried deep inside him, screaming to get out.

He turned, and stared out the dusty hospital window, into the starless night above, and tried to shake off the dark ominous feeling that part of him was missing, and that whatever it was he had buried, it was horrific.

He shivered, and pulled his knees to his chest, focused his eyes on the thin sliver of moonlight that was cast across his dark green blanket, and wished that at this moment, he wasn't so terribly alone.

I was standing

All alone against the world outside

You were searching

For a place to hide

Lost and lonely

Now you've given me the will to survive

When we're hungry... love will keep us alive

Don't you worry

Sometimes you've just gotta let it ride

The world is changing

Right before your eyes

Now I've found you

There's no more emptiness inside

When we're hungry... love will keep us alive

I would die for you

Climb the highest mountain

Baby, there's nothing I wouldn't do

Now I've found you

There's no more emptiness inside

When we're hungry... love will keep us alive

I would die for you

Climb the highest mountain

Baby, there's nothing I wouldn't do

I was standing

All alone against the world outside

You were searching

For a place to hide

Lost and lonely

Now you've given me the will to survive

When we're hungry... love will keep us alive

When we're hungry... love will keep us alive

When we're hungry... love will keep us alive

(Love Will Keep Us Alive, The Eagles)