A/N : A quick thanks to those who reviewed; SweetBitter, buffspike, aphelant, thatannoyingirishkid, Rachel, SpIkEs AnGeL, SouthernRain, Leanne8582, SlayGal, Courtney37. Thanks! Just to explain something that might cause confusion. In this fic the Present Day will be 18th November 2003 because when I planned the dates of this, it never occurred to me that it'd take so long to write! lol. Oh well, this chapter is longer than the last one and I'm pretty sure you're all gonna love it. Please review and let me know what you think...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 18 : Jealousy - 17th November 2003 (again)

The atmosphere was electric at the Bronze and all I wanted to do was dance, hoping stupidly that I could dance my cares for Spike right out of my body with every shimmy and shake. It should have helped that Riley was there, holding me close on the slow songs and really throwing himself into the rhythm of the faster ones, but all I could do when his hands touched my skin was wonder what it would feel like to dance like this with Spike? And it was worse when we kissed, the memory of the kiss I shared with 'my brother' burned onto my lips and my mind, never to be equalled by anything my boyfriend could do now, but I needed to feel something with Riley, needed to drown out what I felt for Spike and that's just what I did...well, maybe not...but points for intent, right?

Buffy's eyes flicked towards the entrance and she immediately wished they hadn't. Spike strode purposefully in through the doorway, dressed all in black and coat swinging out behind him, bleach blond hair slicked back and bright blue eyes shining. Buffy felt a mixture of jealousy, annoyance, and a terrible wanting, as she watched him smile and wink at a few girls that caught his eye, before taking a seat at the bar and ordering a drink.

"What's up?" Riley asked as he followed his girlfriends line of sight and spotted Spike on a bar-stool across the room, "Oh, him" he said grumpily, "Did you wanna go say hi or something?" he offered, determined not to be stupidly jealous of his girlfriends relationship with her brother, of course he had no idea what a threat this man really was.

"A whole world of no" came Buffy's answer, looking back to her boyfriend, but knowing without even moving her eyes that Spike had seen her and was now watching every move she made. He wanted to spy on her? Well then, she'd give him something to see. Her hands went up behind Riley's head, pulling him into a long and lingering kiss that took the boy's breath away and made Spike want to pummel the bloke and heave at the same time!

'But two can play that game' he suddenly realised as Buffy shot him a self-satisfied smirk. She was doing this just to get at him, and that only proved how much she really liked him. Spike's eyes travelled across the dance floor and landed on a tall brunette, dancing too slow for the rhythm of the song that was playing, as if she had her own tune in her head. When she saw Spike looking at her, she winked in sultry fashion and beckoned him to come over. Glancing at Buffy who seemed determined to get as close as possible to that enormous hall monitor she was dating, he went to the mysterious woman who was all too eager to get to know him.

"And what's your name, pet?" he asked as they danced together.

"Does it matter?" she asked, pressing herself against him, clearly talking was not on her mind. As much as Spike wanted to make Buffy jealous as she was making him, he didn't want to go too far with this girl, she apparently had other ideas.

"Er, well, it'd be nice to know what to call you" he smiled, trying to keep at least a little distance between them and failing miserably, "I'm Spike, by the way"

"My name's Drusilla" she whispered, her tongue lingering around his ear, "The stars are telling us to make sweet music together little Spike" she told him.

"The stars?" he arched an eyebrow, starting to wonder why he'd decided this was a good idea. Either this woman was on something illegal or she was just completely sack of hammers.

Before he had a chance to make a decision one way or the other, a small hand grabbed his arm and pulled him across the room.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Buffy asked loudly as soon as she'd dragged her 'brother' under the balcony.

"Er, I think I was dancing, luv" he smirked, knowing he'd got to her and loving it, "Much the same as you and your boy were" unable to resist making a dig at the idiot he added, "Where is the stupid git anyway?"

"Riley is in the men's room, not that it matters" Buffy snapped, not really annoyed that he would dare insult her boyfriend but so angry he would get so close to some whore right in front of her!

"Doesn't matter to me, pet" Spike shrugged, "Just wondered why you're suddenly dragging me into dark corners" he smirked as he added, "unless you thought..." the look on his face adequately said the rest of his sentence for him and Buffy hated herself for wanting him so much.

Without a word, she grabbed his arm and pulled as she walked backwards til her back hit the wall right underneath the balcony. Bringing her hands up to his face, she pulled him to her and kissed him like she really wanted too, she just couldn't stand there denying all she felt anymore, it was killing her and seeing him with that weird girl, getting up close and personal, it had been the final straw.

Spike was losing himself in all that he was feeling, but he was also all too aware of what was happening. Buffy was playing him. Here they were in the dark, showing each other how they felt but hiding it from everyone else still. Plus she made this huge deal about how disgusting he was for kissing her, but here she was, with her tongue down his throat and that was fine. It could not work that way.

Using all the strength he could muster, Spike pulled away from her and took a couple of steps back.

"Doesn't work this way, pet" he forced out, trying to get his breathing back to normal just as she was, "We do this or we don't, but you can't keep blowing hot and cold on me"

Buffy's eyes went wide as she saw Riley walking towards them. Spike was being infuriating but there was no way she could go and spend time with her boyfriend now, have him hold her and kiss her, and not spend the whole time wishing it was Spike she was with.

"We have to get out of here" she said, quickly moving to the door and hurrying out. Spike turned, saw Riley coming, and needed no encouragement to chase after the blonde he had such a love for now.

It was a short walk from the Bronze to the Giles residence, and Buffy managed to maintain her short lead in front of Spike the whole way back. She slammed into the house, glad her parents were having dinner with friends tonight and probably staying over, it meant she had time to deal with Spike without interruption, it was early and Willow wouldn't be home for a couple of hours yet at least.

"We have got to sort this out luv" Spike sighed as he followed her into the house, pushing the door closed behind them. Suddenly she was right up in his face and shouting.

"How dare you come here and disrupt my life?!"

She was confused and drowning in all that she was feeling for Spike. The love and the wanting she had for him, the guilt and feeling of wrong-ness that were products of that, and a whole load of other stuff she couldn't even begin to puzzle out. She took it out on him, by yelling and blaming him for making her feel this way. She had to blame someone, he was the only one there, but by getting angry herself she only made him angry too.

"Listen to me, Little Miss Holier-Than-Thou" Spike yelled at the top of his lungs, so sick of this playing around "You think I like the fact that I want you so damn much?" he raved as he removed his coat and threw it across into the living room "You think I came here thinking 'oh yeah, I think I'll seduce my step-sister, that'll be fun for the whole family' I never meant to fall for you"

"Fall for me?" Buffy echoed much more quietly than she'd spoken before, she knew he liked her, wanted her, but... "You don't, I mean..." she stammered. She'd thought perhaps she loved him but that he might feel that way for her...

"Love you?" Spike almost laughed at himself "Yeah, God help me but I bloody do, and damn well not like a sister either!" he pointed out making sure she understood. He would have loved to have her say it right back to him, for a moment thought maybe she would, but the look on her face was just all confusion and shock. He couldn't bear to stand there waiting for words that weren't coming. He pushed passed her and ran up the stairs to the room that could be construed as both his and hers right now.

Snapping out of her momentary daze, Buffy suddenly found her anger again and raced after Spike, slamming into the room behind him.

"If you love me so damn much why were all over that slut back at the Bronze?" she demanded to know.

"She wasn't a slut" he lied, not really knowing why he was bothering "she was just a girl who actually wanted to be in the same room as me" he said nastily.

"And you think I don't want you?" Buffy said incredulously "You'll never know..." she trailed off as she realised what she was saying. That kiss at the Bronze should have shown him just how much she wanted him, but a part of her really wished she hadn't done it, it had only made things more confusing.

"I'll never know what, Buffy?" Spike pressed, needing to know for sure. She couldn't tell him, just couldn't find the words, so she showed him just like she had back at the night-club. With nothing to stop them in that moment and neither willing to pull away, within minutes things were moving faster than either had thought it might.

They were lying together on a bed that could be called theirs although they'd never actually spent the night in it together. It seemed tonight might change all that, as outer clothing disappeared and still neither wanted to stop.

As Buffy lay back on the bed and Spike hovered over her, she nervously admitted;

"I've never..."

"We don't have to" he assured her, though he wasn't sure he could stop now even if she asked him too. He was glad when she shook her head slightly.

"No, I want to" she told him, "I love you" before bringing their lips back together and kissing him soundly. She gasped as he pulled back, running a trail of kisses down her throat, his hands roaming over her body all the time.

"Love you too" he mumbled against her skin, "So much"

No more words came after that, just the exhilarating motion of two bodies becoming one, bringing forth explosive feelings on both sides, making for a glorious night that they would never forget.

That was last night, and truth be told I've never felt anything as wonderful as those feelings Spike evoked in me. For that time it didn't matter who or what we were supposed to be, we were with each other, and the only two people in the world. Of course, this morning, reality was back, bigger and brighter and more firghtening than ever before, as we had to face what we'd done...

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : So, do we have anything to say about this chapter? Reviews, please! :-)