Story Summary: 1969.  Joey befriends Rachel, and struggles to put his bitterness behind him; Ross comes home; Phoebe comes to terms with Chris' death; Charles moves to Las Vegas, leaving Monica to fend for herself; Chandler struggles to recall the fateful weeks prior to his rescue.

The Age of Aquarius

Chapter Twenty-One: Keep Me Safe

"So tell me your story, soldier," Claire said softly, once she and Chandler were settled in a large, red plastic booth, in a darkened corner of the tiny, nondescript bar.  Claire watched silently as Chandler studied his drink, and struggled to determine how much of himself he should reveal to a stranger.

"Th-there isn't much to tell," Chandler shrugged, and picked at the tabletop nervously.

"How'd you get that scar on your face?" Claire persisted.

"Are you always this forward with total strangers?" Chandler replied quickly, but ran a finger over the jagged scar shakily.

"Just strangers that interest me," Claire winked, and took a long sip of her gin and tonic.

Chandler laughed, his gaze once again finding his glass.  He sighed deeply, and for a long moment, the table was silent.

"I never even wanted to go there," Chandler finally whispered, "I was one of those people that stood outside the city hall, protesting.  But my dad—" Chandler sighed, and for a moment, he was lost in thought—in memories.  His final exchange with his father had not been a pleasant one—and Chandler had regretted it the moment he'd stepped foot on foreign soil.  He closed his eyes, and prayed that somehow his father knew—had always known—that deep down, Chandler loved him.  He opened his eyes, and flushed slightly when he realized that Claire was staring at him, still waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"It's okay," Claire smiled, and placed her hand on his.  He tensed, but didn't pull away.

"What's her name?" Claire asked, noting Chandler's uneasy demeanor.

"Who?" Chandler furrowed his brow.

"The girl you left behind," she replied, and Chandler flushed again.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Well, I am a Psych major," Claire smiled.

"That explains it then," Chandler laughed, and took a sip of scotch.  He ignored the slow burn the fiery alcohol sent through him, and looked up at Claire.

"Monica.  Her name's Monica," he croaked.

"Where is she now?" Claire wondered.

"I—I don't know.  I heard…from her family…that she had moved on.  But…I don't know."

"Don't you want to find out?" Claire asked gently.

Chandler looked down at his glass, and shook his head.

"Why not?"

Chandler shrugged, and scratched at his glass anxiously, "I—I'm not the same person…I feel…I feel like a shell of the person I was.  I don't think she'd like what I've become."

"Maybe she's changed too," Claire offered.

"It's…it just isn't the same," Chandler sighed, exasperated, "Something happened to me over there…something that I can't remember.  I think…I think maybe I did something I wasn't supposed to…or I saw something too awful for words.  I'm afraid to find out what that something is, but I know that I need to know—does that make sense?"

"You can't move on, unless you know what you are moving on from," Claire stated.

"Yeah, something like that.  It's just…" Chandler looked around the bar slowly, "everything is so different here…I'm different.  I feel like and outsider—like I don't belong here."

"I guess it's hard not to feel that way…with your parents gone and stuff," Claire said quietly.

Chandler looked down again, then over at Claire.

"Do you know…how my mother died?" he asked slowly, quietly.

"No…no I'm sorry, I don't."

Chandler nodded slightly.  "I…I wish I could talk to her again," he said softly, "I wish I had been here."

"I'm sorry," Claire whispered, and squeezed his hand.  "Maybe you should try to find Monica…even if she has moved on…it seems like you could really use a friend."

"Yeah," Chandler nodded, and sighed sadly, before downing his scotch.

"I don't know about this, Rach," Joey shook his head, as Rachel wheeled him into the elevator of her building.

"I know the elevator looks old and rickety, but it works fine," Rachel replied with a soft smile.

"No…I mean about the apartment.  I…I don't know—"

"Joey, you'll be fine.  You need to get out of that dingy little hotel room—you deserve better."

Joey shrugged silently, and stared at his hands, as the elevator slowly ascended to the next floor.  The door slid open, and Rachel pushed Joey down a long corridor, and to a green door.

"This is it!  Aren't you excited?" Rachel clapped energetically and pulled a key out of her bag.

"Yeah," Joey laughed nervously, as Rachel opened the apartment door.

"Oh hey Rach, you're back," the door across the hall opened, and Monica appeared, just as Rachel and Joey were moving into the apartment.

"Hey Mon!  This is Joey!" Rachel gestured down toward Joey, and Monica smiled and extended her hand.  Joey turned, and Monica's smile faded.

"Joey?" she gasped, and Rachel's eyes widened.

"Monica…wow, um…you live here?"

"You two know each other?"

Monica and Joey turned to look at Rachel, who had her hands on her hips and a defiant pout on her face.

"Rach, this is Chandler's friend Joey!" Monica explained, and Rachel visibly relaxed.

"Joey…what…um…what happened?" Monica ventured.

"A land mine," Joey said shortly, and rolled into the empty apartment.  Rachel smiled uncomfortably and followed him.

"So, uh, this is the place…it's nice, huh?" Rachel said quickly.

Joey turned his chair to face Rachel.

"Is Chandler here too?" he asked coldly.

"Uh, no, he—"

"He never came back," Monica said quietly, as she walked into the apartment, "I was…hoping you might know where he is…what happened to him?" Monica's voice was timid, and desperate, and Joey felt a twinge of guilt course through him.  Why was he being so cold?

"I—the last time I saw him we were running from the enemy.  Well, he was running," Joey laughed bitterly and pointed at his stump.

"How did you get away?"

"They…put me on a helicopter.  The pilot said that they didn't have room for all of us…so Chandler stayed behind.  I—"Joey swallowed hard and looked away from the girls guiltily, "I think he may have been captured again…or, um—"

"Killed," Monica finished, and Joey looked up at her.

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's—" Monica was interrupted by Jakob's shrill cries.

"Oh, I have to—I'm sorry," Monica stuttered, and rushed out of the apartment.

"She has…a baby?" Joey looked up at Rachel.

"It's Chandler's," Rachel said sadly, and Joey nodded.

Why hadn't he been left behind that day?  Chandler had a baby…and someone who clearly still loved him.

And he had nothing.

He looked at Rachel, who was wandering through the empty apartment, and sighed.

Maybe he had more than he thought he had after all.

"Rach?"

"Yeah?" Rachel walked back into the living room.

"I'll take it.  I'll take the apartment."

Two Days Later

"Can I help you?" the older man standing at the door looked at him strangely, his gaze softening as he clearly began to realize that the man at his door was a soldier…or used to be anyway.

"I-I'm sorry to bother you sir, but I was…looking for Monica Geller?" Chandler asked tentatively.

The man's scowl returned, but instead of replying, he turned and yelled into the house.

"Judy!  There's a kid here looking for Monica!

Chandler bit his lip nervously, as moments later, an older woman appeared in the doorway.

"Who are you?" the woman asked coldly.

"I-I'm Chandler Bing…a…friend of Monica's.  I-is she here?"

"Monica has a family, and is living in California," Judy said quickly, and disappeared into the house.

"I…sir, do you know how I can reach—"

"I'm sorry son, we haven't heard from Monica since she moved away," Jack said wearily, and smiled sympathetically.

"Oh, okay," Chandler looked at the ground dejectedly, and extended his hand, "Thank you for your time, sir."

Jack shook his hand, and watched the young man turn to walk away. 

"Dad, who's at the door?"

"Just a kid looking for your sister."

"Lieutenant?"

Chandler turned back toward the house, his eyes widening.

"Private," Chandler muttered.

"Y-you two know each other?" Jack asked, surprised.

"Yeah," Ross smiled.

"Is this one of the men you helped across the border?" Jack asked.

Chandler's brow furrowed and Ross' eyes widened.

"N-no, um…"

"Ross did take a bullet for me, sir," Chandler said suddenly, and winked at Ross.

Ross swallowed hard and looked at Chandler, his stomach churning.  He looked at the Lieutenant's scarred face and hands, his sad eyes, and his dingy jacket, and he felt guilt creep into him.  He realized suddenly that by lying to his parents, by lying to his friends and family, he was disrespecting the men that truly deserved to be called a hero.  Men like the one standing before him.

"Dad, I think we should all go inside.  There's something about Chandler you need to know."

AN:  Ahhhh, it's all coming together…they are all meeting up again!  But if you think anything is gonna get resolved before the 30th chapter…you'd be wrong.  LOL.  God, I hope I'm kidding.

Review please!  And don't run with scissors.